Metroid general

[X Prime]

Holy shit

Some people really can't get off to anything but cartoons and pixels, huh?

I think this entire discussion is a prime example of how obsessive coomers potentially ruin games.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

I, like most europeans, already live in islamic countries.

Well, congratulations.

I think this entire discussion is a prime example of how obsessive coomers potentially ruin games.

No, it's a discussion on how obsessive prudes can potentially ruin games.

Again, if you don't want a hero who reveals herself, Master Chief and Doomguy are available.

Zero suit Samus is lame because the zero suit section of zero mission was the worst part of that game. Suitless Super Metroid Samus was peak suitless Samus.

True. It does look hotter than the Zero Suit.

 

[xXx: State of the Union]

The only thing that's changed is that we can make smut that's more realistic now.

My brother in Christ, you have a fucking problem. There is no *reason* to make "realistic" smut because there's real smut.

This isn't even getting into how neither original Metroid sprites or Zero Suit Samus models are "smut"

There's more to jerk off to than just anime and video games. Seek help.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

My brother in Christ, you have a fucking problem. There is no *need* to make "realistic smut" because there's real smut.

This isn't even getting into how neither original Metroid sprites or Zero Suit Samus models are "smut"

There's more to jerk off to than just anime and video games. Seek help.

What's so wrong about making a video game character "attractive"? I mean, geez, you don't see Star Wars fans shitting bricks over making Padme or Leia attractive. They even cheered when the former showed some midriff and the latter got a space bikini. And I wasn't even calling the zero suit itself "smut".

Samus is a product of the 80s and 90s where there were a lot of women in tight or revealing clothing in fiction. Especially sci-fi. That's all there is to it. Getting pissy that people found that attractive doesn't help your case. It makes you look like the kind of prude who make the people go to church look like libertines by comparison.

You're the one who needs to get help. Samus isn't your daughter. She's the creation of Japanese game devs who have no problems making her look like a beach babe, because that's what they chose to do.

 

[MarineN*4235431]

The fuckers keep pets and get rations taken away when they fuck up, so simple but greatly humanizing.

ups our test subjects for morph ball got crushed....again oh well next deadly experiment tomorrow, and since they mutate their own embryos with phazon i like ot think they repdroduce with cloning vats ,even a lizad species that lay lots of eggs would be screwed with that many casualties

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

ups our test subjects for morph ball got crushed....again oh well next deadly experiment tomorrow, and since they mutate their own embryos with phazon i like ot think they repdroduce with cloning vats ,even a lizad species that lay lots of eggs would be screwed with that many casualties

Again, it's like Cerberus from Mass Effect where every time you run into them, they're doing some kind of experiment that should give them a leg up on the world, but instead of just making better weapons to give themselves an edge, they go overboard, play God and toy with things they shouldn't be toying with, and dig themselves into a deeper hole.

Was it really worth the lives of all those Space Pirates to master Metroids and morph balls? Can't they just research better guns, or better battle armor, or something? Or perhaps they can research better tactics and strategies to fight Samus? Figure out what that Chozo armor is weak against? At least when Star Wars' Kyle Katarn (the closest SW has character-wise to Samus) runs into Imperial weapons experiments, it's either just power armor and heavy plasma weapons, or lightsaber-resistant armor or some other crap which makes sense and doesn't blow up in the faces of the people doing it.

The riskiest thing Kyle saw the Empire do is give Force powers to regular people, and by the time he discovers it, the Empire has mastered it completely, and they're already pumping out Sith cultists or Force-sensitive Stormtroopers with lightsabers and lightsaber-resistant armor. Although I suppose you can't equate the Space Pirates with the Empire since the former is about as careful as a kid who skateboards without a helmet, and the latter kills you for screwing things up.

You'd think that down the line, the Space Pirates would've succeeded in mastering the Metroids and fully using them for military purposes. Even Bowser defeated Mario once in Paper Mario 1.

 

[Michael Wade]

I was hoping for an inside scoop on the next Metroid, not an argument over sex appeal

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

I was hoping for an inside scoop on the next Metroid, not an argument over sex appeal

This is the world we live in. You can't even have a female protagonist anymore without someone screaming about how it's bad that she's attractive. They want to cover her up like a woman in Saudi Arabia.

Ten years ago, I'd have never believed things would end up like this. We'd just take one good look at what Samus looks like without her armor, make a note of it, and move on with our lives.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

What's so wrong about making a video game character "attractive"? I mean, geez, you don't see Star Wars fans shitting bricks over making Padme or Leia attractive.

You don't see Star Wars fans thinking it would be perfectly ok(and an appropriate topic of discussion) to see Leia suck off Jabba the Hutt and... well you do see fans like that and they're weird. Don't be a coomer weirdo.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

You don't see Star Wars fans thinking it would be perfectly ok(and an appropriate topic of discussion) to see Leia suck off Jabba the Hutt and... well you do see fans like that and they're weird. Don't be a coomer weirdo.

Not even that. You people seem to have a problem just showing Samus without the armor. You do realize that guy who made the AO SamusXRidley joke was just kidding you, right?

 

[X Prime]

I'm not sure citing what Japanese devs want is a very persuasive argument when Yoshio Sakamoto allegedly did not know what a bounty hunter was.

Which is why Samus is a bounty hunter that acts nothing like one.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

Not even that. You people seem to have a problem just showing Samus without the armor. You do realize that guy who made the AO SamusXRidley joke was just kidding you, right?

So what? The way things were going it was starting to show an unhealthy obsession with both of yours fantasies. 888 Niggerdeath.

 

[X Prime]

So what? The way things were going it was starting to show an unhealthy obsession with both of yours fantasies. 888 Niggerdeath.

No kidding. Imagine writing fanfiction about what other posters are saying on the same or next page as what they're actually saying.

 

[MarineN*4235431]

Again, it's like Cerberus from Mass Effect where every time you run into them, they're doing some kind of experiment that should give them a leg up on the world, but instead of just making better weapons to give themselves an edge, they go overboard, play God and toy with things they shouldn't be toying with, and dig themselves into a deeper hole.

Was it really worth the lives of all those Space Pirates to master Metroids and morph balls? Can't they just research better guns, or better battle armor, or something? Or perhaps they can research better tactics and strategies to fight Samus? Figure out what that Chozo armor is weak against? At least when Star Wars' Kyle Katarn (the closest SW has character-wise to Samus) runs into Imperial weapons experiments, it's either just power armor and heavy plasma weapons, or lightsaber-resistant armor or some other crap which makes sense and doesn't blow up in the faces of the people doing it.

The riskiest thing Kyle saw the Empire do is give Force powers to regular people, and by the time he discovers it, the Empire has mastered it completely, and they're already pumping out Sith cultists or Force-sensitive Stormtroopers with lightsabers and lightsaber-resistant armor. Although I suppose you can't equate the Space Pirates with the Empire since the former is about as careful as a kid who skateboards without a helmet, and the latter kills you for screwing things up.

You'd think that down the line, the Space Pirates would've succeeded in mastering the Metroids and fully using them for military purposes. Even Bowser defeated Mario once in Paper Mario 1.

they kinda did, trooper pirates use protoypes of samus beams and you need that one beam to defeat them and elite pirates who besides the phazon are heavily armored anyway

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

I'm not sure citing what Japanese devs want is a very persuasive argument when Yoshio Sakamoto allegedly did not know what a bounty hunter was.

Which is why Samus is a bounty hunter that acts nothing like one.

To be fair, most people don't know either. Most bounty hunters in fiction act like government-sanctioned killers or criminal made men. Few people know that bounty hunters are supposed to turn in their targets alive, not vaporize them.

So what? The way things were going it was starting to show an unhealthy obsession with both of yours fantasies. 888 Niggerdeath.

What is unhealthy is enforcing a prudish vision on a character whose makers have already turned her into a space babe. I mean, come on, what is this, Feminist Frequency?

they kinda did, trooper pirates use protoypes of samus beams and you need that one beam to defeat them and elite pirates who besides the phazon are heavily armored anyway

That was a good first step, I admit. But then you run into their phazon and metroid labs and their morph ball experiments. For every useful experiment they put out, they have two more experiments that not only were unnecessary, but also blew up in their faces.

 

[X Prime]

The Japanese director who we have established as clueless also turned Samus into a scared simpering waif in the face of Ridley, who she had already killed multiple times.

Not the greatest authority here.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

What is unhealthy is enforcing a prudish vision on a character whose makers have already turned her into a space babe. I mean, come on, what is this, Feminist Frequency?

You suggested that she should get gang banged to show women... something, as a way to get back at them. That weird sexual anger doesn't come from nowhere and I'm 100% saying that it is another form of woke and equally unhealthy kind of thinking where everything is a stupid proxy war between fringe group morons/fandoms. You can call that opinion prudish, I call it being sane.

 

[NERF or NOTHIN']

The coomers in this thread do realize the "sexualization" isn't the actual issue, but the complete mischaracterization and how Nintendo outright made her a foot shorter but with stripper heels, right?

Oh, no they just play Smash and commission 3D printed Samus Zero Suit models to put in their ass

 

[X Prime]

You suggested that she should get gang banged to show women... something, as a way to get back at them. That weird sexual anger doesn't come from nowhere and I'm 100% saying that it is another form of woke and equally unhealthy kind of thinking where everything is a stupid proxy war between fringe group morons/fandoms. You can call that opinion prudish, I call it being sane.

Did you mention proxy wars on purpose? I ask, because he made the same kind of non-sequitur arguments in the Ukraine threads of yore that turned at least one of them into an unreadable cesspit.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

You suggested that she should get gang banged to show women... something, as a way to get back at them.

That was a joke, you idiot. Like when that other fellow suggested a Samus/Ridley AO game. The fact that you're that easy to trigger speaks a lot.

You don't see Mario fans flying off the rails every time someone makes a sex joke about Princess Peach.

The coomers in this thread do realize the "sexualization" isn't the actual issue, but the complete mischaracterization and how Nintendo outright made her a foot shorter but with stripper heels, right?

You do realize that there's more games where she keeps the suit on 99% of the time and the stripper stuff is basically a tiny minority of Metroid content, right? I mean, the great majority of game time for her has her wearing the armor.

Unless of course, you look at the fanart, then yes, the metric shitloads of fanart that shows ZSS outnumbers the art of her in her armor. But that's fan content most folks can ignore.

The Japanese director who we have established as clueless also turned Samus into a scared simpering waif in the face of Ridley, who she had already killed multiple times.

The bastard killed Samus' parents, and no matter what she does to kill him, he always comes back. Pretty scary, if you ask me.

Although, this would have worked if Other M was placed in the early part of the Metroid history rather than near the end of the timeline. At that point, she'd be bored as fuck with him, kind of like seeing your ex in a bar and rolling your eyes. In which case, the mistake was placing Other M near the end of the Metroid timeline, not the concept itself.