Seems like my save is fucked for a while.
I have an Act 3 boss coming up in 7 days, the C-100. I have no fucking clue when or if
the Act 2 boss I apparently require is going to show up. Yay.
In the meantime:
small, part 2.
Apparently, Jericho (on the right) is a
Primordial dwarf. Today, I got a
normal dwarf (on the left). Even as a kitten, she's still larger than Jericho is as an adult. I have placed them both upon a shelf for optimal size comparison: here's what they look like in comparison to everyone else.
Most of these guys are normal* kittens. Some are adults that are so hated by the rest of the household that I have to tardwrangle them. Jericho and Mimolette are the only dwarfs.
Primordial Dwarfism vs just Dwarfism is also very different.
Primordial Dwarfism gives you a -2 to every single stat save for luck, which is given a +12. It doesn't affect any other stats and is arguably more of an actual problem.
Dwarfism without the primordial bit is more even-handed. It just subtracts 2 from Constitution and Strength, while buffing every other stat by 2 and giving you +10 dodge chance.
Why Primordial Dwarfism is given no boost in dodge chance despite being
infinitesimal in size, I don't know, but it's a bit frustrating. You're telling me the tiny retard who's smaller than a thumbtack has a better chance of being hit by a dart than his sister who's only eraser-sized? Boo, McMillen. Make it make sense. Give primordial dwarfs a +35% dodge or something and let me go to town. These bastards seem to be very rare, so let me have fun with them!
*as normal as late-game Mewgenics cats get, anyways.
Also, poor Dr. Doom has sired a child whose name is synonymous with that of his arch-nemesis'. His disappointment is apparent.

EDIT: I'm either very lucky with names or the game prefaces all dwarf names with "Lil'/Little". Jericho has Lil', Mimolette has Little. Not sure if that's hardcoded or if I'm just spectacularly lucky.