Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Adamska]

Because wasting hours screaming at nothing, wasting dead phone lines from an earlier pest period to create this spam all the while, is totally worth doing. Seriously, I did the napkin math and I think Chris only responded about six times out of hundreds of sperges, reees, and shrieking fits from this senile bag of bones that we've documented.

Like, if I put it as a ratio I pulled out of my ass, it'd be like 700 shrieks to one time Chris responded to him and I'd actually call that generous because fuck giving this fogey effort. This also ignores how he's only been successful with like three out of dozens of alts he's made too, meaning he actually scores about on par with the '08 Detroit Lions most of the time when reeeing. In percentage terms, he is getting a 0.14 % efficiency on his 'trolling'... oh wait, no. He actually only got maybe three genuinely kind of dumb responses (which were still smarter) from Chris since one or two of those were either more about furries in general or it's him pitying Hirtes. Let me rephrase:

Hirte's "ownage" percentage is about 0.07%... that's basically a 3-1,000+ W-L streak. And again, this was toilet math using just the shit from this thread. His actual level of non-reaction from Chris is likely much higher.

That is how hard Mike "Worthless" Hirtes sucks at a-logging and "trolling".

 

[AnOminous]

Hirte's "ownage" percentage is about 0.07%... that's basically a 3-1,000+ W-L streak. And again, this was toilet math using just the shit from this thread. His actual level of non-reaction from Chris is likely much higher.

Chris himself is a vastly more successful troll.

 

[Done]

Chris himself is a vastly more successful troll.

Chris is so successful as a troll, he inspired a forum to take on the task of documenting all of the world's autists, eventually leading them to troll his own A-Logs.

If that's not trolling success, then what is?

 

[Meat Pickle]

 

[sax_banana]

wanna bet that right about now, michael is probably watching hardcore henry over and over, only to bug chris about akan?

 

[Done]

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Lol even the other spergs who comment on Chris's posts are sick of him.

He really does give autistics a bad name.

 

[GethN7]

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The fact Hirtes cares so much about breaking Chris' beliefs simply just to fuck with him is some pathetic shit.

This crotchey old man is so sad he literally derives masturbatory joy from the misery of another person.

 

[m0rnutz]

My favorite part is that he has a literal list of people he blocks every time he makes an account.

I don't even have to talk to him. He's that autistic.

 

[Done]

My favorite part is that he has a literal list of people he blocks every time he makes an account.
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I don't even have to talk to him. He's that autistic.

The poor autist thinks he's being harassed on his 300th sock he made to harass others.

Maybe he should be considering exactly how we're finding said socks within 5 posts.

 

[AnOminous]

My favorite part is that he has a literal list of people he blocks every time he makes an account.

You mean it's not easy enough to figure out which screeching autist is him already? He actually gave everyone a way to confirm it 100% of the time? Lol what a retard.

Git gud, old man.

 

[Rogowski]

If anyone's interested Hirtes' /cow/ thread seems to have been necrobumped with his current address and phone number. It looks like he's gotten an email address hacked and in typical Mike fashion he's samefagging his own personal army and calling everyone Josh

 

[Done]

If anyone's interested Hirtes' /cow/ thread seems to have been necrobumped with his current address and phone number. It looks like he's gotten an email address hacked and in typical Mike fashion he's samefagging his own personal army and calling everyone Josh

Post caps and archives please, this sounds like fun.

 

[Rogowski]

Post caps and archives please, this sounds like fun.

https://8ch.net/cow/res/304360.html
https://archive.is/ih9Lx

Edit: it's also spilled over into a Josh thread too.
https://8ch.net/cow/res/314170.html

Spoiler

 

[Done]

He really made a big mistake showing his autism in the /cow/ board. They are really putting their foot up his ass.

 

[Adamska]

It's really sad to watch one senile old man masturbate himself repeatedly and as quickly as possible on a site where even the stupids know it's him doing it, so he can pretend for just a moment that he has allies.

It's doubly so when he's too chickenshit to ever use his real name despite how everyone still knows its him; that's why he won't come back.

Hateful enough to dish it out, far too much of a pissbaby to take it.

 

[Rogowski]

You think that's bad in the Hirtes thread you should go to any cwc thread on that board and see how badly Hirtes samefags his Alog bullshit.

 

[GethN7]

He really made a big mistake showing his autism in the /cow/ board. They are really putting their foot up his ass.

If he pisses them off badly enough I'm sure we'll see what he looks like without the fursuit in present day.

 

[sax_banana]

Is there a picture of present day hirtes, without the fur suit? What does he sound like?

 

[AnOminous]

Is there a picture of present day hirtes, without the fur suit? What does he sound like?

He avoids photography as assiduously as if he were a chupacabra or some other kind of fucking cryptid.

I assume he's extremely ugly, like not just morbidly obese, but he has giant moles and warts all over his face, his hands are twisted into hairy palmed claws from constantly jerking off to ancient yellowed paper furry porn, his eyes and teeth are yellow and covered in a vile film of organic waste, and his clothes have decayed into rags that have virtually rotted into his filthy flesh.

 

[IV 445]

How much money for a full body shot of Hirtes