Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Feline Darkmage]

Also anyone who knows Jay Naylor could probably ask what he looks like. He's the one whose Livejournal described his mentally ill behavior at some con.

lmao this post is full of beautiful quotes.

The creature that is Hirtes is such an odd example of desperate, helpless anger and frustration, that I can't imagine why he hasn't been the subject of a CYD article to date

He never revealed the nature of his disability to anyone who asked, and it lead most people with any degree of experience with him to conclude the disability was mental

Every phone conversation with him was sort of like speaking with a twelve year old.

Hirtes primary reason for going, along with another gentleman who flew all the way from England, was to visit one of the legal brothels outside of the city limit. What a way to blow your Government disability check.

What I feared might be an excercise in the spiralling endless dark pit of mental disability, started to manifest itself when Hirtes managed to win something around $300 in chips at the hotel casino and then brilliantly managed to lose it all the next day trying to win more. The pouty depression started from that point and culminated in all it's brilliance when the gentleman from England (I can't remember his name) who was driving our rental van, managed to accidentally scrape another car while dipping into a left hand turn lane at a major intersection. This would impact the the English gentleman's financial blow from the trip. Even though he wasn't driving, somehow... in some convoluted type of logical reach, Hirtes managed to blame himself for "everything going downhill".

In phone conversations after the trip, Flynn and I came to the conclusion that Hirtes was mentally handicapped in some fashion and couldn't hold down a job with the stress management skills of a three year old that he exhibited in Las Vegas.

 

[Done]

Also anyone who knows Jay Naylor could probably ask what he looks like. He's the one whose Livejournal described his mentally ill behavior at some con.

Forgot to archive this shit.

http://archive.fo/D79Kl

@Feline Darkmage that shit is hilarious, Hirtes is an incredibly broken man, and reading this makes me understand why he latched on to Chris with such fervor.

 

[sax_banana]

I love how Hirtes is the only unhappy nigger in the picture while everyone else is all smiles, it really sets the tone for the rest of his life.

it's like he had a glimpse into the future and saw what he'd become

btw, how do you know that it's him and not someone else in that photo?

 

[Done]

btw, how do you know that it's him and not someone else in that photo?

His name is on two yearbook photos my nig.

 

[sax_banana]

His name is on two yearbook photos my nig.

i know, but how do you know which one of all the people in those photos is him?

 

[Done]

i know, but how do you know which one of all the people in those photos is him?

He's the 2nd from the left, on the 2nd row from the bottom. Right where Mitch the Fox was edited in.

If you read the guidance any other way the number of people per row won't match up. The fact that that's the only autistic-looking motherfucker in there is also a dead giveaway.

 

[DireCorby]

i know, but how do you know which one of all the people in those photos is him?

the names list from left to right, starting in the front and going to the back by row. He's name 2 in row 2, so you go to the second row and the second person.

What's funny is if I tried to pick "who in this picture ended up a mega-sped" I'd probably pick that guy on the right in the back row.

I mean you don't know he didn't

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Also anyone who knows Jay Naylor could probably ask what he looks like. He's the one whose Livejournal described his mentally ill behavior at some con.

God, trying to read this pretentious fuckwit's text is painful, even to see him dish on Hirtes.

On the particular forum entry refering to the CYD article, most people responded with some level of maturity. Others were perplexed. Some wanted to react and thrash like prey. The usual. I worked to calm and disuade people from irrational behavior.

What the actual fuck.

 

[Done]

God, trying to read this pretentious fuckwit's text is painful, even to see him dish on Hirtes.



What the actual fuck.

That dude sounds like Hirtes's very own Anna, "oh gosh please don't pick on the poor autistic man that I will shortly proceed to demolish"

 

[Feline Darkmage]

That dude sounds like Hirtes's very own Anna, "oh gosh please don't pick on the poor autistic man that I will shortly proceed to demolish"

It's funny you say that but reading all of the old 90s stories about him he sounds exactly like a Chris-Chan before Chris-Chan was Chris-Chan
>Couldn't get sex outside of hookers and pity fucks
>Public sperging out incidents
>That striped shirt in that yearbook photo
>Constantly trying to get in with more popular people (Hirtes is Fur artists, Chris is voice actors and general artists)
>Kind of a jackass to other people, due to some self-centeredness.
>On disability checks because of autism and/or other unknown mental disorder.

Chris once said that looking at people with more severe autism than his own case was like a window into hell. Hirtes is similar to this, save for the fact that his autism is probably worse than Chris-Chan's.

 

[Done]

It's funny you say that but reading all of the old 90s stories about him he sounds exactly like a Chris-Chan before Chris-Chan was Chris-Chan
>Couldn't get sex outside of hookers and pity fucks
>Public sperging out incidents
>That striped shirt in that yearbook photo
>Constantly trying to get in with more popular people (Hirtes is Fur artists, Chris is voice actors and general artists)
>Kind of a jackass to other people, due to some self-centeredness.
>On disability checks because of autism and/or other unknown mental disorder.

Chris once said that looking at people with more severe autism than his own case was like a window into hell. Hirtes is similar to this, save for the fact that his autism is probably worse than Chris-Chan's.

It's like Hirtes is the perfect A-Log, a darkened and distorted image of our autistic hero(ine).

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

>Kind of a jackass to other people, due to some self-centeredness.

Well, with Hirtes there's no "kind of".

I think that's the biggest difference between them, besides quibbling over who's more autistic and more of a failure (Hirtes probably but nevermind). Chris still seems to honestly be trying to get along with people. He can be an asshole when it comes down to it, either through selfishness or the 'tism, but it seems like his incidences of doing so deliberately are fairly few and far between. His malevolence against others is pretty much always provoked... either through being wronged in his own mind or, really, being actually wronged.

Hirtes requires no offense against himself to go Full Asshole on someone. He will develop intense hatred at the drop of a hat just from seeing something that #triggers him, whether it's directed at him or not. And unlike Chris, who eventually moves on with his life, Hirtes never forgets these slights. Decades later he'll still explode into outrage just from being reminded of one of his archenemies.

Like, what do you think Chris's response would be if you mentioned Clyde Cash to him? Like, in a discussion, not doing some "JULAAAAY!" sort of thing. He might mutter and say Clyde was a jerk but he probably wouldn't even want to talk about him. In fact didn't that happen in one of those lame interviews a year or two back? Meanwhile, it's clear that if you mentioned, say, Groat to Hirtes you'd better strap in for an hour of spittle-flecked screeching.

Chris hates things, he has prejudices, he can be a dick. But he's not defined by hate. Hirtes is. Whether he was always like that or just became that way over time or even chose to be that way, that's the biggest divergence between them. Chris is ultimately defined by his childishness, Hirtes is defined by his hatred.

 

[AnOminous]

Chris is ultimately defined by his childishness, Hirtes is defined by his hatred.

And by his stupidity. He is the Wile E. Coyote of failtrolls.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

And by his stupidity. He is the Wile E. Coyote of failtrolls.

If the roadrunner was mostly oblivious to his existence instead of actively fucking him over.

Hirtes, meanwhile, thinks he's the roadrunner.

 

[American Chad]

I found this loser shitposting on one of CWC's recent tweets: https://twitter.com/IsThanos (https://archive.fo/aSEdl)

The very first retweet that can be seen on their wall is of: https://twitter.com/MichaelJHirtes (https://archive.fo/IyxDT)

I doubt that that's the real deal Holyfield, and the autism spirals down from there, but now we have idiots trolling an old idiot who spends 20 hours a day doing nothing but trolling CWC. Is this like w**n/troll inception?

Also, the theme of "ZOMG NULL OWNS CWCVILLE.US KIWI FARMS GONNA DOX ERRBODY" is quite hilarious. I have seen it recur in replies to CWC that were made by what I think are actual Hirtes socks.

 

[AnOminous]

I found this loser shitposting on one of CWC's recent tweets: https://twitter.com/IsThanos (https://archive.fo/aSEdl)

The very first retweet that can be seen on their wall is of: https://twitter.com/MichaelJHirtes (https://archive.fo/IyxDT)

I doubt that that's the real deal Holyfield, and the autism spirals down from there, but now we have idiots trolling an old idiot who spends 20 hours a day doing nothing but trolling CWC. Is this like w**n/troll inception?

/cow/boys and Twitter trolls don't really have any rules governing them. If they see a tard they're going to troll him, and Hirtes is funnier than Chris at this point, although all the fun is at his expense.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

>trumpets

The only trumpet Hirtes knows how to play is a rusty trombone.

 

[Jaiman]

Hirtes requires no offense against himself to go Full Asshole on someone. He will develop intense hatred at the drop of a hat just from seeing something that #triggers him, whether it's directed at him or not. And unlike Chris, who eventually moves on with his life, Hirtes never forgets these slights. Decades later he'll still explode into outrage just from being reminded of one of his archenemies.

I can confirm this from personal experience, he started checking back on my twitter constantly after I talked to Chris about sushi, and he especially continued to egg on through twitter, /mlp/, and /cow/ when I met his sempai at BronyCon. He is a very unfriendly and hostile person.

 

[Meat Pickle]

New Hirtes sock found. I can tell from the rage comic face.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

That and one of the pics he posted is trying to make fun of Null's icon, because as we all know that's the height of devastating someone in an online argument.