Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[sax_banana]

Yeah, i've noticed, and it was really dumb of me

Yeah, i've noticed, and it was really dumb of me

Oh, the mods

 

[GS 281]

Hey gentlemen. This guy is definitely not Michael Jay Hirtes. I can say that with 110% certainty. I don't know why people believe this and do not care, I am frankly working but I took time out of my day to verify that he is not Hirtes about 4 different ways. If this is Hirtes then he's gotten some really fucking advanced-level trolling goin on here.

Pls leave sax alone, hes our friendo.

 

[sax_banana]

Hey gentlemen. This guy is definitely not Michael Jay Hirtes. I can say that with 110% certainty. I don't know why people believe this and do not care, I am frankly working but I took time out of my day to verify that he is not Hirtes about 4 different ways. If this is Hirtes then he's gotten some really fucking advanced-level trolling goin on here.

Pls leave sax alone, hes our friendo.

thanks dude

 

[Done]

You guys wanna start making sockpuppet accounts and harass michael? Give the pedo-furry a taste of his own medicine?

Actuallt, nevermind. Then we'd be just as bad as him

If people start making plans to troll someone online, then that someone becomes increasingly more important in proportion with the time and effort that is collectively spent on trolling them.

Chris is the primary example of this, he is now a relic of internet history, sure, it's not in the way he wants, but he is now important enough to the world that he is capable of selling actual garbage for money sole because he touched it at some point.

Now let's take this thought to this thread's cow of choice, if you put any kind of real effort into this, then you actually give Hirtes a level of importance he really doesn't deserve. He already delivers hilarious reactions and retardation without us lifting a finger (the boomer actually tardraged because Chris had a nice weekend, so he already trolls himself really well), so if we start lifting fingers and actually investing time into this, then we are essentially telling him "you're important enough to troll now".

Now take this thought to nearly every other cow and you'll see it applies to them too.

 

[Fistbeard_McThunderaxe]

As always, your mastery of the art of hiding your identity online astounds, Mike.

I mean, you specifically stating you hated the things that define you really threw me for a loop, it really almost threw me off the trail of you making a beeline for this thread two days after you registered, if it hadn't been for that underscore, who knows how long you might have gone undetected!

You forgot to circle "viewing a Chris chan thread"

 

[Adamska]

I'm just wondering how many bum lines he wasted on his government welfare from his Phreak days to keep spamming accounts to scream at by the hour on the hour.

Read all 74 pages, and it's quite the saga to watch one pathetic sack of flesh angrily shriek at a dude every day despite being similarly inept. He does this on a bevy of sites he desperately socks on, runs when exposed, but will just come right back when exposed and change fuck all... all while the guy he's doing this to barely acknowledges him. Hell, he pities him when he even remembers he exists.

Hirtes is the dumbest motherfucker that this site has, and that's hideous.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Just look me up on twitter.

This is how I know it wasn't Mike, because even in the face of all evidence he would pretend he doesn't have any twitter accounts, let alone the over a million twitter accounts he's had over the last decade.

 

[Jaiman]

You guys wanna start making sockpuppet accounts and harass michael? Give the pedo-furry a taste of his own medicine?

Someone already does that.

I know it's already been proven that he's not Michael, but it was pretty obvious from the start that sax wasn't him. Michael's writing is usually pretty obvious.

 

[Uncle Warren]

You guys wanna start making sockpuppet accounts and harass michael? Give the pedo-furry a taste of his own medicine?

Actuallt, nevermind. Then we'd be just as bad as him

Die pedo.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

"The Hirtes is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, welfare parasite, shoplifter, stalker, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him Hirtes and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: 'I’ve been found out.'"

 

[Done]

View attachment 494612
Look at this post, let it sink in, Hirtes is so incredibly autistic and obsessive, he can't even suppress his hate-boner enough to not stand-out on an anonymous imageboard! This isn't a new thing either, every time I browse CWC stuff on /Cow/, I find at least five "Hi, Hirtes, kys." posts.

One thing that cows always exhibit is a lack of learning ability, no matter how many times people try to discipline them or instill good life lessons in them, they just never listen. They're human anomalies who are devoid of nearly all measure of common-sense.

Case in point, Michael J Hirtes, the scion of autism, no matter how many times he's been banned on here, /cow/ and every place he goes, he still can't quite grasp that his existence is simply unwanted on those web-places, and continues to sock like the pathetic no-lifer he actually is.

Well, today he got what's been coming his way for a very long time, about ~5 hours ago, a glorious /cow/boy posted the yearbook photos of a certain pants-shitting furry autist:

https://8ch.net/cow/res/519305.html#519461
http://archive.is/VWyEj

Here are the actual attached photos (in order):

And as always, a certain pants-shitting autist can't keep his shit together when put under pressure, check out how he goes into defensive hedgehog stance even faster than Chris:

Almost a month ago, I said this:

Stay autistic and neck yourself in your flea-ridden fursuit, Hirtes, you'll totally troll Chris if you do, he will drop his LEGOs and Vidya for one entire minute, and let out the wet fart that exemplifies your entire tugboat-fueled existence on God's green earth, but it will really be worth it.

Now I honestly take it back, because why would I want this glorious show to end?

Stay autistic, but don't neck yourself yet, Hirtes, the internet is not done with you just yet..

 

[Feline Darkmage]

This is the first image I've seen of him. Now I'm wondering what 40 years have done to him. I picture him as emaciated and rotting away like an Ashley Isaacs tier skelleyton under his crusty fursuit that is now more semen and cheeto dust than fur.

If I were him I would literally buy a one way to San Francisco to backflip off the Golden Gate.

 

[AnOminous]

Well, today he got what's been coming his way for a very long time, about ~5 hours ago, a glorious /cow/boy posted the yearbook photos of a certain pants-shitting furry autist:

I'm sure he's really impressing that /cow/boy by calling him a foxdick when it's fucking obvious it was actually someone from /cow/ who did this.

Why? Because someone from here would fucking post it here for Internet autism stickers. What a dumbfuck.

This is the first image I've seen of him. Now I'm wondering what 40 years have done to him. I picture him as emaciated and rotting away like an Ashley Isaacs tier skelleyton under his crusty fursuit that is now more semen and cheeto dust than fur.

I think he's probably fat. Really fucking fat. Like the kind of fat you only get from 40 years of eating nothing but Little Debbie cakes and other tard food that you can buy for a dollar a box with tard bucks.

Also anyone who knows Jay Naylor could probably ask what he looks like. He's the one whose Livejournal described his mentally ill behavior at some con.

 

[Done]

If I were him I would literally buy a one way to San Francisco to backflip off the Golden Gate.

But if you were him, then you wouldn't have any money because his neighbors would always steal it.

I'm sure he's really impressing that /cow/boy by calling him a foxdick when it's fucking obvious it was actually someone from /cow/ who did this.

Why? Because someone from here would fucking post it here for Internet autism stickers. What a dumbfuck.

He is exceedingly dumb and stands out like a sore thumb on any forum he goes to.

Also he's been really showing how much asspain @Null inflicted on his ass recently. He is almost as obsessed with dear leader as he is obsessed with Chris.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Huh. Hirtes once did something vaguely constructive and relatively normal like being in band? I somehow pictured him coming from a long line of never-did-anything losers who were broke, lazy wretches from the day they were born until the day they died, a hereditary case of worthlessness as it were. The idea that he might have had some chance of making something of himself but chose this, or that he's the end of the line for a family that once had some hint of pride, is actually pretty sad.

 

[Spelling Bee]

Cursed image.

 

[Done]

Cursed image.

YIFF YIFF!!!

That's what foxes say..

 

[AnOminous]

Cursed image.

What's funny is if I tried to pick "who in this picture ended up a mega-sped" I'd probably pick that guy on the right in the back row.

 

[DragoonSierra]

One thing that cows always exhibit is a lack of learning ability, no matter how many times people try to discipline them or instill good life lessons in them, they just never listen. They're human anomalies who are devoid of nearly all measure of common-sense.

Case in point, Michael J Hirtes, the scion of autism, no matter how many times he's been banned on here, /cow/ and every place he goes, he still can't quite grasp that his existence is simply unwanted on those web-places, and continues to sock like the pathetic no-lifer he actually is.

Well, today he got what's been coming his way for a very long time, about ~5 hours ago, a glorious /cow/boy posted the yearbook photos of a certain pants-shitting furry autist:

https://8ch.net/cow/res/519305.html#519461
http://archive.is/VWyEj

View attachment 517032
View attachment 517033
Here are the actual attached photos (in order):

View attachment 517034
View attachment 517035
View attachment 517036
View attachment 517037
And as always, a certain pants-shitting autist can't keep his shit together when put under pressure, check out how he goes into defensive hedgehog stance even faster than Chris:

View attachment 517039
Almost a month ago, I said this:

Now I honestly take it back, because why would I want this glorious show to end?

Stay autistic, but don't neck yourself yet, Hirtes, the internet is not done with you just yet..

Are you shitting me? Is he actually wearing a Chris shirt in that photo?

 

[Done]

What's funny is if I tried to pick "who in this picture ended up a mega-sped" I'd probably pick that guy on the right in the back row.

I love how Hirtes is the only unhappy nigger in the picture while everyone else is all smiles, it really sets the tone for the rest of his life.