Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[The Fool]

What the fuck is he doing with an iPod? He never leaves the house, he can use his PC. Hell, it's extra ironic that the purchase for it is right next to a purchase for WoW.

 

[Adamska]

What the fuck is he doing with an iPod? He never leaves the house, he can use his PC. Hell, it's extra ironic that the purchase for it is right next to a purchase for WoW.

Maybe he wanted to feel like he wasn't just a poor tard in Section 8 housing for once in his miserable life. Shame it probably got stolen by the urban market for crack within the day most likely.

 

[m0rnutz]

Just dumping suspected Hirtes accounts.
https://twitter.com/Chrischanfollo1
https://twitter.com/Camus57459067
https://twitter.com/Righteous4CWC

That last one I have no doubt is him. That, or just another troll, but it's got the Hirtes modus operandi to it

Unrelevant but this one is getting to that point that she's being a Hirtes.
https://twitter.com/msgoosb

 

[Done]

https://twitter.com/Righteous4CWC

That last one I have no doubt is him. That, or just another troll, but it's got the Hirtes modus operandi to it

That's him alright lol. He's still trying to do that weird reverse psychology thing lmao.

I was just about to ask if he was dead too lol.

 

[Rogowski]

Unrelevant but this one is getting to that point that she's being a Hirtes.
https://twitter.com/msgoosb

This one's got me preemptively banned which tells me that it's Hirtes.

This one however, was not.

https://twitter.com/Righteous4CWC

Hirtes blocks my Twitter preemptively which tells me that it's not him.

 

[m0rnutz]

This one's got me preemptively banned which tells me that it's Hirtes.

That one I know isn't Hirtes, because it's been around far longer. It's a ween, though, who is really close to becoming just like Hirtes.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

What the fuck is he doing with an iPod? He never leaves the house, he can use his PC. Hell, it's extra ironic that the purchase for it is right next to a purchase for WoW.

Hirtes logic is really hard to explain, so I'm going to assume it's because he wants it even though he doesn't need it.

 

[AnOminous]

Hirtes logic is really hard to explain, so I'm going to assume it's because he wants it even though he doesn't need it.

Sort of like Chris-Chan, he can't resist blowing his tard bucks on shiny baubles.

 

[Done]

Hirtes logic is really hard to explain, so I'm going to assume it's because he wants it even though he doesn't need it.

Like all A-Logs, he has way more traits in common with the cow than he wants to admit... The very existence of those traits in itself makes him a cow. The continual, autistic insistence that they aren't really similar is what makes him a GREAT cow.

Sort of like Chris-Chan, he can't resist blowing his tard bucks on shiny baubles.

I swear I laughed for 2 minutes straight when his Amazon purchases were leaked. Let's not forget, this is the same guy who continually harps on Chris for making pointless purchases, he continually screams at people to not give Chris any money, while at the same time wasting his own tugboat over pointless trinkets.

The hypocrisy is not only huge, it's also deeply hilarious.

 

[The Fool]

Like all A-Logs, he has way more traits in common with the cow than he wants to admit... The very existence of those traits in itself makes him a cow. The continual, autistic insistence that they aren't really similar is what makes him a GREAT cow.


I swear I laughed for 2 minutes straight when his Amazon purchases were leaked. Let's not forget, this is the same guy who continually harps on Chris for making pointless purchases, he continually screams at people to not give Chris any money, while at the same time wasting his own tugboat over pointless trinkets.

The hypocrisy is not only huge, it's also deeply hilarious.

Lest we forget, our criticisms and comparisons of his character will not only make him disregard our valid critiques of his person, but actively make him double-down on his frivolous purchases while he screams to himself "I'M NOT CHRIS REEEE"
We know this because we've already spent the better half a decade psychoanalyzing Chris himself.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Lest we forget, our criticisms and comparisons of his character will not only make him disregard our valid critiques of his person, but actively make him double-down on his frivolous purchases while he screams to himself "I'M NOT CHRIS REEEE"
We know this because we've already spent the better half a decade psychoanalyzing Chris himself.

I expect us to do the same with Michael, though with more "REEEEEEing" on his end, unless he croaks before reaching 60.

 

[Done]

I expect us to do the same with Michael, though with more "REEEEEEing" on his end, unless he croaks before reaching 60.

Nah hate makes a person live longer, just like with Barb. Now that you mention it, I think Hirtes managed to become the perfect amalgamation of Chris and Barb, he's not only a retard, he is also old and deeply hated by his own family.

Lest we forget, our criticisms and comparisons of his character will not only make him disregard our valid critiques of his person, but actively make him double-down on his frivolous purchases while he screams to himself "I'M NOT CHRIS REEEE"

We know this because we've already spent the better half a decade psychoanalyzing Chris himself.

It's not entirely suprising in retrospect, but it is just remarkable how much they have in common, I think anyone who asks about what Chris will do when Barb's drad should just be pointed towards this thread.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

It's not entirely suprising in retrospect, but it is just remarkable how much they have in common, I think anyone who asks about what Chris will do when Barb's drad should just be pointed towards this thread.

That's one of the most depressing things I've ever read in this thread. Or anywhere.

The idea of there being another Hirtes in the world is just so fucking sad. Alexa play Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.

 

[AnOminous]

It's not entirely suprising in retrospect, but it is just remarkable how much they have in common, I think anyone who asks about what Chris will do when Barb's drad should just be pointed towards this thread.

I don't think Chris will ever have the prolonged, obsessive sheer nastiness of Hirtes. He's narcissistic, but not obdurately, stupidly malicious.

 

[Done]

That's one of the most depressing things I've ever read in this thread. Or anywhere.

The idea of there being another Hirtes in the world is just so fucking sad. Alexa play Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.

Well to be fair, that's kind of an unfair comparison..
..
..
..
.. to Chris. I honestly don't think Chris has enough maliciousness and hate in him to stalk and harass people for no real gain (I mean he did stalk Doopie, but that was more of a weird autistic fascination/love/whatever it was), the point is that he thought he had something to gain in return, Hirtes does this shit and he has no guarantee that Chris will ever chimp out at him, hell, Chris even BTFO'd him at one point with the YIFF YIFF stuff.

EDIT: Like look at Hirtes right now, he is on some weird autistic tangent where he plays some strawman character "I WORSHIP CHRIS BECAUSE I AM IDIOT YOU SEE THAT NOL?!", and you can only think, "who the fuck is he even trolling at this point? Even Chris will look at his tweets and see them as a compliment or pure gibberish to ignore, you're not even fazing anyone at this point".

I don't think Chris will ever have the prolonged, obsessive sheer nastiness of Hirtes. He's narcissistic, but not obdurately, stupidly malicious.

Fully agreed. But you look at the general life Hirtes is living (Section 8, no real friends, constantly buying junk), and you can't think that Chris's life will veer very far from that, Chris is a way better person than Hirtes ever was, but Hirtes hates him for a reason: Because he reminds him of his younger self. This in itself tells us there's an arc for autists who live largely solitary, consumerist and decadent lives.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Actually what I'd love to see is that much like Phil turned to trying to show up Chris in his efforts to get attention out of us, Hirtes turns to trying to one-up Phil so he can finally get his own subforum.

Wonder how he could one-up chopping his own dick off just to spite us...?

 

[WeeGee]

Actually what I'd love to see is that much like Phil turned to trying to show up Chris in his efforts to get attention out of us, Hirtes turns to trying to one-up Phil so he can finally get his own subforum.

Wonder how he could one-up chopping his own dick off just to spite us...?

Mike doesn't have the balls to castrate himself, so not much he can do that would top such. Also it would be a bad idea for him to get his own subforum, that would likely stroke his ego, he'd constantly remind /cow/ posters about it.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Mike doesn't have the balls to castrate himself, so not much he can do that would top such. Also it would be a bad idea for him to get his own subforum, that would likely stroke his ego, he'd constantly remind /cow/ posters about it.

Eh, it's one of those things. He'd probably brag on it but it would simultaneously infuriate him that we were giving him even more negative attention and documenting even more of his bullshit. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Basically, that's Mike's entire life. Even anything that makes him happy makes him angry.

 

[Dread First]

Quick question: Isn't Council Bluffs the same town from that episode of Bar Rescue where John Taffer walked out? If so... him being a colossal retard isn't really anything out of the ordinary considering the track record of its most noteworthy residents.

https://www.nonpareilonline.com/new...cle_6d4bbefa-cc5c-11e5-93b4-17692c608ae0.html

 

[AnOminous]

Quick question: Isn't Council Bluffs the same town from that episode of Bar Rescue where John Taffer walked out? If so... him being a colossal exceptional individual isn't really anything out of the ordinary considering the track record of its most noteworthy residents.

https://www.nonpareilonline.com/new...cle_6d4bbefa-cc5c-11e5-93b4-17692c608ae0.html

Council Bluffs is a degenerated fuckhole where various forms of trash run cons and steal shit to fund whatever opioid habits they have that are out of reach on their tard bucks budget. A degenerate like Hirtes is par for the course.