Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Shit how could I forget @Xalver

 

[TheMockTurtle]

thats a bit of a tenuous link because then we'd also have to investigate @AutistocLolCow who uses the same avatar of a koala stuffing its face as @HighlyKoalified who was banned for sockpuppeting

At this point we need a special counsel to investigate everyone

 

[HG 400]

At this point we need a special counsel to investigate everyone

dibs on Grand Inquisitor

 

[GS 281]

Worst part is, sometimes you can't technically win against him.

Respond to him-> he will be encouraged to reply back, going full-exceptional individual in overblown autistic anger.
Ignore him -> he will follow you everywhere to spam anything related to you and say how meanie you are.

Even years later.

I'm surprised noone has actually beat the crap out of him. I guess the rumor of him living in-front of a police station kinda helps his position.

We aren't here to win or lose, only document and laugh. Why would anyone even lift a finger to hurt this clown? He lives an utter shit existence where he is completely dependent on the government tit, he doesn't seen to have any friends or family that love him, he is a hate spewing putz, and a furry so pathetic he dropped any semblance of a career so he could keep the government dick ejaculating a meager amount of funds up his ass every month. If anything, not doing anything and allowing him to live his day-to-day life is the greatest punishment of all that you could give this sad sack of shit.

 

[Lipitor]

We aren't here to win or lose, only document and laugh. Why would anyone even lift a finger to hurt this clown? He lives an utter shit existence where he is completely dependent on the government tit, he doesn't seen to have any friends or family that love him, he is a hate spewing putz, and a furry so pathetic he dropped any semblance of a career so he could keep the government dick ejaculating a meager amount of funds up his ass every month. If anything, not doing anything and allowing him to live his day-to-day life is the greatest punishment of all that you could give this sad sack of shit.

halaling him was p good too tho.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

At this point we need a special counsel to investigate everyone

If your first words to the special council aren't "Fuck off faggots" you're already suspicious, cause that's how a Kiwi would respond.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

We aren't here to win or lose, only document and laugh. Why would anyone even lift a finger to hurt this clown? He lives an utter shit existence where he is completely dependent on the government tit, he doesn't seen to have any friends or family that love him, he is a hate spewing putz, and a furry so pathetic he dropped any semblance of a career so he could keep the government dick ejaculating a meager amount of funds up his ass every month. If anything, not doing anything and allowing him to live his day-to-day life is the greatest punishment of all that you could give this sad sack of shit.

Sheer, unadulterated :autism:.

Yeah I know, predictable. But that's just it, it's always :autism:. It never changes. @Michael J Hirtes is probably a greater example than most because he's been at it since the 90s, if not earlier, and it's been through plenty of stages. His family probably wants nothing to do with him anymore, the communities he's a part of turned against him, he's got nothing now. And even if he became a /cow/tard, that wouldn't last long before he's outed and mocked to the point of suicide.

And with that said, do a flip already.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Respond to him-> he will be encouraged to reply back, going full-exceptional individual in overblown autistic anger.
Ignore him -> he will follow you everywhere to spam anything related to you and say how meanie you are.

Even years later.

Yeah, major Hirtes trait, he apparently keeps an enemies list or something and obsesses over it. Dude's still holding grudges from that usenet shit and will bring them up at the drop of a hat. I think I heard some story where a guy talked about actually going on a date with him and Hirtes spent the entire night 1) slobbering all over him in eagerness for the cock and 2) ranting about furries that had wronged him in the eighties.

It never changes. @Michael J Hirtes is probably a greater example than most because he's been at it since the 90s, if not earlier

Probably mid-late eighties at least. He's like one of the fucking original infamous names of furfaggotry, based almost entirely around being an asshole. And when you're a big enough asshole to stand out from that list it's pretty impressive. Almost all of those old names are assholes, but if you bring them up people will generally at least think of something else first or second. Jim Groat? "That guy who digs through garbage? And he's an asshole." Stephen Addlesee? "The dude with the bad Wolverine knockoff character and traced art? Also he's an asshole. And dead." Uncle Kage? "He runs that con. And he's an asshole. And fucking that wannabe rant-comedian. Who has a webcast. And is an asshole."

But you bring up MHirtes and it's just "Oh, that asshole."

 

[HG 400]

The best thing about this thread is all the idiot furries saying "Oh, that guy?? Let me tell you all about some 90s furry drama"

My people-to-dox list is growing exponentially.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Yeah, major Hirtes trait, he apparently keeps an enemies list or something and obsesses over it.

Are we talking about Hirtes or Dobson?

Christ, even if he wasn't a furry, when you start getting compared to some of the most dismal excuses for human beings we have on this site, you really need to take a step back and re-examine your life choices.

 

[Staffy]

This constant halaling soothes my soul.

 

[drain]

We aren't here to win or lose, only document and laugh. Why would anyone even lift a finger to hurt this clown? He lives an utter shit existence

tbh this applies to basically all lolcows.
this should be put on red letters next to the "Sign Up" button, because the amount of grown-ass adults getting angry at lolcows on the internet is astounding

 

[Quack]

Worst part is, sometimes you can't technically win against him.

Respond to him-> he will be encouraged to reply back, going full-exceptional individual in overblown autistic anger.
Ignore him -> he will follow you everywhere to spam anything related to you and say how meanie you are.

Even years later.

I'm surprised noone has actually beat the crap out of him. I guess the rumor of him living in-front of a police station kinda helps his position.

Nobody is taking this stuff IRL, indeed a trusted source tried that with CWC a long time ago. He had to overcome his fear of Chris' wrath and outmanoeuvre Chris' counter-trolling efforts, but after paying airfare and hitchhiking dangerously he ended up in a very spooky situation in the garden of 14 BLC. This sounds a bit like that!

 

[Tingular Grengino]

When do we get an update to the Halal page on the lolcow wiki?

This has to be the most notable by far.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

When do we get an update to the Halal page on the lolcow wiki?

This has to be the most notable by far.

Soon, hopefully.

 

[AutistocLolCow]

At this point we need a special counsel to investigate everyone

Wow, I did not know this random picture was so popular.
(took it from imgur a few months ago along with other animal pictures..)

Example:

We aren't here to win or lose, only document and laugh. Why would anyone even lift a finger to hurt this clown? He lives an utter shit existence where he is completely dependent on the government tit, he doesn't seen to have any friends or family that love him, he is a hate spewing putz, and a furry so pathetic he dropped any semblance of a career so he could keep the government dick ejaculating a meager amount of funds up his ass every month. If anything, not doing anything and allowing him to live his day-to-day life is the greatest punishment of all that you could give this sad sack of shit.

Oh no, I mean the guys he literally ripped off in commission money with the paypal trick years ago.
Pissed of a few people.

The rest, I agree with you.

Yeah, major Hirtes trait, he apparently keeps an enemies list or something and obsesses over it. Dude's still holding grudges from that usenet shit and will bring them up at the drop of a hat. I think I heard some story where a guy talked about actually going on a date with him and Hirtes spent the entire night 1) slobbering all over him in eagerness for the cock and 2) ranting about furries that had wronged him in the eighties.



Probably mid-late eighties at least. He's like one of the fucking original infamous names of furfaggotry, based almost entirely around being an asshole. And when you're a big enough asshole to stand out from that list it's pretty impressive. Almost all of those old names are assholes, but if you bring them up people will generally at least think of something else first or second. Jim Groat? "That guy who digs through garbage? And he's an asshole." Stephen Addlesee? "The dude with the bad Wolverine knockoff character and traced art? Also he's an asshole. And dead." Uncle Kage? "He runs that con. And he's an asshole. And fucking that wannabe rant-comedian. Who has a webcast. And is an asshole."

But you bring up MHirtes and it's just "Oh, that asshole."

I can tell you by pure raw experience (from back in the late 90's and early 2000's)
That Hirtes was my first ever indirect involvement in a furry shitstorm.

Him and "The Outsider" Addlesse...

I can't believe I still have his famous mock up signature image.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Older than Shaner, and more of a sped, I didn't think that was possible.

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one thinking that.

How does he feel about trains?

Sonic-induced furfaggotry is the trains of the younger generation of autists, but this guy is pretty late to that party. That said, what was the thing that made him "come out" as a furry? Maybe it was that Disney Robin Hood movie with the anthro animals. That seems to be a popular one. Or the Aristocats.

. . .okay, I'm giving myself a headache.

You know who else used the same avatar as @totem sanic?

@Chipmunk With A Banana

Who is this?
A sock of @iwantcake

Who is that?

A sock of @slep, one of disco's worst A-Logs in history.

@Hellblazer holy shit I think this guy is slep

I knew @slep was a sock of @I Want Cake, but this is too much. How did this guy go so long without any of the mods knowing @Michael J Hirtes was a sock, too? Or do you have to manually run an IP check every time?

I can understand being 50 years old and internet-savvy. Some of my relatives are in the age bracket and have been working with personal computers since they were a thing.

What I don't understand (bearing in mind that he's about twice as old as me) is how someone of this age thinks joining Kiwifarms and sperging out about a fat manchild twenty years younger than them is in any way a good way to spend their life.

Kiwi Farms has always been my downtime thing. If I'm really sick & bedridden or something, that's usually when I binge-read threads. Most of the time I check KF like I check email---read some things, reply to them, then go about my day. Even the authorities on cows (@Jaimas on Brianna Wu, @Ravenor on ADF, etc.) don't spend as much time on them as people think.
But this guy. . .it's like harrassing Chris has been his only pastime for years.

Actually he's not that different than @voiceguy screeching at Brad

The difference is that @voiceguy is a pseudo-retiree who came here to defend his professional relationship with @WogglebugLover & wound up liking us enough to stay. Yeah, he's another older guy, but I think he's a lot of fun, & he's worked hard & isn't a societal leech. I'm willing to forgive spazzing out a fundie schizocow, especially when said cow started insulting your then-recently-deceased wife.

 

[drain]

Kiwi Farms has always been my downtime thing. If I'm really sick & bedridden or something, that's usually when I binge-read threads. Most of the time I check KF like I check email---read some things, reply to them, then go about my day. Even the authorities on cows (@Jaimas on Brianna Wu, @Ravenor on ADF, etc.) don't spend as much time on them as people think.
But this guy. . .it's like harrassing Chris has been his only pastime for years.

Same. I'm more active on the Farms during my free time at weekends, and still, I can do so much as shitposting lol
This dude is on another level of 'w.een', as fars as w.eens go... spending about 20 fucking years 'trolling' and scamming people on the internet is an autistic feat that can't be beat so easily. The fact that he was all happy with KF while posting Twitter screenshots and when he was outed he started to throw shit at us speaks volumes about his manchild personality.
This dude reminds me of @Goochole: I remember he said to me how "KF was like a new family to him" and how he "absolutely loved this place", until he got hammered in the ass and suddenly he was "lol null is fat and his mom is a bitch fuck all of you"

 

[Johnny Bravo]

You know who else used the same avatar as @totem sanic?

@Chipmunk With A Banana

Who is this?
A sock of @iwantcake

Who is that?

A sock of @slep, one of disco's worst A-Logs in history.

@Hellblazer holy shit I think this guy is slep

Holy shit, I remember slep! Usually I forget speds like him but as soon as I saw that username added to the thread I had a whole Vietnam flashback to slep and that fucking avatar.

 

[Cripple]

53 actually. Born on 4/16/1964.

View attachment 248386

https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:KYBR-X8J (http://archive.is/97NM8)

He's old enough to be a grandfather, jfc. What a wasted life.