Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Adamska]

That's exactly why.

That and I reckon he's aware on some level that he will die soon, and no one will mourn him. Hell, I don't even think anyone will bother to take the time to laugh at him getting cremated due to no one even caring enough to get him a plot of land... not that it'd matter since he'd blow the money on toe ring non-fucking furry porn. Hell, we'd barely notice since the only tell of him being dead is he doesn't spam on boards or make alts using his burner phones.

 

[Rogowski]

It's that time of year again. /cow/ just started their CWC at Bronycon thread and Mike is sperging hard and getting his ass handed to him as usual.

New Chris Chan thread : Final Bronycon Edition

Old thread is 2 posts away from bump limit:>>857729The final Bronycon is approaching quickly, mere weeks away at this point. Chris has confirmed he has his ticket locked in for the weekend but also admits that his original plans to share a hotel room with friends (most likely Sarah and Steve...

8ch.net

Spoiler

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Jesus Christ, get a job, Hirtes, or at least a real hobby.

 

[AnOminous]

Jesus Christ, get a job, Hirtes, or at least a real hobby.

Hirtes is amazing, maybe the only person loathed equally by /cow/ and KF.

 

[Adamska]

Jesus Christ, get a job, Hirtes, or at least a real hobby.

At this point he should just neck himself tbf.

Because even a normal mentally disabled person can usually tell when something don't work by this point.

 

[TheImportantFart]

Same tactic every time. Try to promote your pathetic attempts at trolling by masquerading as someone cheering it on, get caught instantly due to your own stupidity and then futilely try and claim it wasn’t you despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

This guy is the biggest moron on the entire fucking planet.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

Hirtes is amazing, maybe the only person loathed equally by /cow/ and KF.

Don’t forget he’s even loathed by the furry fandom.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Don’t forget he’s even loathed by the furry fandom.

And anime fandom. Pretty much wherever he goes, he's despised. It's almost like he's the issue, isn't it?

 

[Slapstickmonkey]

Same tactic every time. Try to promote your pathetic attempts at trolling by masquerading as someone cheering it on, get caught instantly due to your own stupidity and then futilely try and claim it wasn’t you despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

This guy is the biggest moron on the entire fucking planet.

Has Hirtes gotten dumber with age? I have to seriously wonder if its dementia or has he just taken too many shots to the head.

 

[Rogowski]

Someone started a new Hirtes thread on /cow/

What are your thoughts on Hirtes?

What are your thoughts on Hirtes, the notorious A-Log and ween who made 50+ Twitter accounts to harass and orbit Chris?

8ch.net

/cow/ - What are your thoughts on Hirtes?

archived 25 Jul 2019 17:25:49 UTC

archive.is

Second post someone drops a photo of what is supposed to be Hirtes:

Then someone else commented this in reply:

Then this:

There was also this post in the newest CWC thread after Hirtes showed up to shit up the thread that went mostly unnoticed outside of /cow/:

I always take everything on /cow/ with a grain of salt because of the anonymity and high potential for loading a thread with bullshit using only a VPN but i'll let you all decide what is real and what is not.

ETA: someone update his page on the cwcki with this photo since the photo from that page is the top image result on google.

 

[Shokew]

Seriously, picking on someone like Chris for attention?
Worthless. Simply fucking worthless.

Even if he hates weebs & furfags as much as I do..... There's no redeeming, let alone relating himself to others, by being this much of a hollowman.

This is all the fucking else I have to say to this...

 

[AnOminous]

Seriously, picking on someone like Chris for attention?

Especially when being even more pathetic and hated than Chris. There isn't a single population this dude has interacted with that doesn't completely loathe him.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Especially when being even more pathetic and hated than Chris. There isn't a single population this dude has interacted with that doesn't completely loathe him.

I mean, who needs a life, or friends for that matter when you can just pick on the mentally challenged and get despised and made fun of for it, am I right? Living a life like that’s really no different from what Mikey boy does. Pretty fucking pathetic, especially since he’s still at it.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Especially when being even more pathetic and hated than Chris. There isn't a single population this dude has interacted with that doesn't completely loathe him.

That's the funny thing, Hirtes is under this delusion that the lolcow communities somehow love and defend Chris just because they shit on even bigger tards like him too. But even if it was true that we were actual unironic fans of CWC, that would still mean that Chris has more fans, more friends, and wider acceptance than Hirtes does. He's actually trying to make himself feel better by saying that a literal pants-shitting troon is more popular than he is, which is logic so tortured that members of the senate probably want to send it back to its home country free and clear.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Imagine being fat, old, crippled, unlikable, and pathetic. That is Michael J. Hirtes, Internet Exceptional Individual.

 

[Done]

Second post someone drops a photo of what is supposed to be Hirtes:

Similarly to what I did with Tommy Tooter's old picture, I upscaled Hirtes' old class photo using Gigapixel-AI, and I'd say that is indeed him, he's way fatter in the newer pic, but look at the nose shape, mustache and upper lip, almost a perfect match IMO:

(the other classmates' faces are kinda splotchy because I focused on getting Hirtes' face as sharp as possible, I'll probably tinker with the parameters a bit more whenever I'm free).

 

[Rogowski]

Similarly to what I did with Tommy Tooter's old picture, I upscaled Hirtes' old class photo using Gigapixel-AI, and I'd say that is indeed him, he's way fatter in the newer pic, but look at the nose shape, mustache and upper lip, almost a perfect match IMO:
View attachment 862982
(the other classmates' faces are kinda splotchy because I focused on getting Hirtes' face as sharp as possible, I'll probably tinker with the parameters a bit more whenever I'm free).

So there ya go. Hirtes unmasked. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

 

[Tomboy Respecter]

I know it’s been a month since the last reply, but I’ve read the thread all the way up to this point. I gotta say this is the one of the most pathetic yet hilarious lolcows on this site, if not the most (so far at least). Most of the other ones have at least one thing going for them no matter how vapid, like former e-fame, a deep relationship with some person in their life, actual skill in something (barring their inability to take criticism) or even a fanbase (whether it be ironic or not) but Hirtes has nothing and he even lost the one thing he desperately tried to protect; the ability to hide behind an avatar or screenname as a faceless entity. Granted, he doesn’t abuse children or take advantage/harms the weak and hasn’t displayed any will to do that (even though he’s so tasteless as to mock the death of a 7 year old because he didn’t agree with her father’s politics), so he’s not outright despicable. He’s still a piece of shit, but a laughably ineffectual one. I kinda wish /cow/ was still up so I could thank the anon that found his face and showed it to the world

 

[Feline Darkmage]

but look at the nose shape, mustache and upper lip, almost a perfect match IMO:

Also look at his eyes. The newer suit pic has eyebags but other than that they look to be about the exact same color and spacing/proportions of the yearbook pic.

 

[Digital Thunder]

I know it’s been a month since the last reply, but I’ve read the thread all the way up to this point. I gotta say this is the one of the most pathetic yet hilarious lolcows on this site, if not the most (so far at least). Most of the other ones have at least one thing going for them no matter how vapid, like former e-fame, a deep relationship with some person in their life, actual skill in something (barring their inability to take criticism) or even a fanbase (whether it be ironic or not) but Hirtes has nothing and he even lost the one thing he desperately tried to protect; the ability to hide behind an avatar or screenname as a faceless entity. Granted, he doesn’t abuse children or take advantage/harms the weak and hasn’t displayed any will to do that (even though he’s so tasteless as to mock the death of a 7 year old because he didn’t agree with her father’s politics), so he’s not outright despicable. He’s still a piece of shit, but a laughably ineffectual one. I kinda wish /cow/ was still up so I could thank the anon that found his face and showed it to the world

Hard agree. Hirtes, as well as Phil (ADF), are like living testaments to how fucking low humanity can sink without being some variety of absolute monster such as a pedophile or zoophile, and even more so a testament to how low a human being would have to be to spend actual decades measuring themselves up against CWC in the name of trying to prove that they're better than that. It's mesmerizing in ways that don't make you want to spend the rest of an evening weeping in the shower and I don't think I'll ever get enough of it.