Lovequest Misc Colin Communications - Updated

[Loke]

Thetan, I don't know who you are, but I love you. Thank you for all this, and may All-father never spot you.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Sauce, please?

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/misc-open-relationship-emails.6591/
It's in the first few set of emails.

 

[Egomatic]

I found the voice mails that preceded this text exchange. The first one was sent at fucking 3 something AM, which is why Colin was so pissy with Chris. The second one was a follow-up.

"You are VERY... I forgot the word... PRETENTIOUS."

HONOR ROLL STUDENT EVERYONE!

And in the 2nd voicemail, is Chris saying he's ignoring Colin? Gee whizz dropping some voicemails to him sure seems like he's ignoring him.

 

[Trilby]

Chris was raised by good old Uncle Television when borb didn't want to deal with him.

This came to mind for me!

Yeah I died at:

Colin: I got a PhD from Oxford
Chris: Fuck that I had honor roll in high school!

Good comeback there!

He only knows about "Yellow Submarine" because of Beatles Rock Band. Seriously.

Figures. (I didn't expect him to have discovered it the same way I did, through PBS).

"You are VERY... I forgot the word... PRETENTIOUS."

HONOR ROLL STUDENT EVERYONE!

I admit I couldn't stop giggling at that.

 

[Varis]

My penis is so long, I can stick it up my pooper. You should be intimidated. Hmm, yeah.

 

[nvrwastetree]

I noticed he mentioned Bill Cosby as one of the decent and respectful. I wonder if he's heard the news.

I'm pretty sure that if he did hear about the accusations against Bill Cosby, he would make a novel about it on Facebook.

 

[soIregistered]

I think this is the academic equivalent of the 10-ton doghouse.

He just does not live in reality. Grade school honor roll, outdated 2 year degree from a community college = Oxford Doctorate. It's like someone saying "I have a 2015 Ferrari brand new off the lot"and Chris saying "I have a '78 El Camino with 3 wheels", as though it compares.

 

[jc17]

"Well-read and knowledges enough."

 

[Tragi-Chan]

This just gets better and better. Colin is a strong contender for my favourite character in the CWC-saga. As with the Father Call, the best aspect is that basically all he does is point out the ways in which Chris fails.

I enjoyed the new layer to the Snydergate Conspiracy. It gets more and more insane every time. So now Snyder deliberately set up a trap that relied upon Chris 1) driving past, 2) seeing the sign, 3) deciding it meant the ban was lifted, 4) acting on that. And he bribed the witnesses and the police. Christ, no wonder the PLACe went under with all that shit going on. Next year the judge, the hospital staff and Rob Bell will also have been paid off.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I enjoyed the new layer to the Snydergate Conspiracy. It gets more and more insane every time. So now Snyder deliberately set up a trap that relied upon Chris 1) driving past, 2) seeing the sign, 3) deciding it meant the ban was lifted, 4) acting on that. And he bribed the witnesses and the police.

Chris falls into that almost impossible area where he isn't smart enough to realize that his imagination isn't truth.

 

[blackie toy]

I enjoyed the new layer to the Snydergate Conspiracy. It gets more and more insane every time. So now Snyder deliberately set up a trap that relied upon Chris 1) driving past, 2) seeing the sign, 3) deciding it meant the ban was lifted, 4) acting on that. And he bribed the witnesses and the police. Christ, no wonder the PLACe went under with all that shit going on. Next year the judge, the hospital staff and Rob Bell will also have been paid off.

Don't forget 5) Chris not realizing the sign would have been enough of an excuse to get him out of trouble with the cops.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

My two cents on Collin: He seems like a pretty chill guy and I'd like to have a beer with him

Fuck, the guy was even kind enough to offer Chris advice on losing weight and getting fit.

Also, as a supervillian, Snyder's scheming skills leave a lot to be desired...

I mean, he had no way of knowing when Chris would fall into his clever trap, so he must have the fake witnesses and bribed cops hired full-time for whatever scraps you could get from the piss-poor Chandler clan on court...no wonder he went out of bussiness

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Also, as a supervillian, Snyder's scheming skills leave a lot to be desired...

I mean, he had no way of knowing when Chris would fall into his clever trap, so he must have the fake witnesses and bribed cops hired full-time for whatever scraps you could get from the piss-poor Chandler clan on court...no wonder he went out of bussiness

No doubt Snyder also set up the SPCA rummage sale so Barb would be drawn in that direction and reprogrammed the lights so the cops would catch up with them. It's kind of like a shit version of the Joker's scheme in The Dark Knight.
"You wanna know how I got these scars? Well, I rubbed myself up against a van driven by an Honest, Autistic Hero and claimed he'd hit me with it."

 

[slep]

My penis is so long, I can stick it up my pooper. You should be intimidated. Hmm, yeah.

Well, everyone at some point has told Chris to go fuck himself.

 

[Smutley]

You beat me to it. Then again, does lego even make black minifigs? I thought they were all yellow.

Chris has never been shy about taking a sharpie to his minifigs. If he can draw tits on a turtle he can make a niggo.

 

[mlane]

"It must hurt you that you know someone who is well-read and knowledges enough to overshadow your pseudo-intellect"

Oh, Chris...what? You can really tell when Chris is getting emotional and upset, his writing gets much worse. Some of the insults he's throwing out really sound like the ravings of a complete madman. "How about you take a spin on the color wheel, and get dizzy in the spiraling rainbow?" This stuff is just beyond what I normally expect even from Chris. I swear he's getting worse lately.

 

[Flowerwall]

Is it just me, or does Chris actually sound a little like Bob in the first voice mail? Not in terms of what his tone or pitch sound like, but in the rhythm/cadence/emphasis in how he speaks. It reminded me a lot of the times we've heard Bob on the phone or in videos. During the beginning of the first call I paused for a second and though "Whoa, he's becoming his father from beyond the grave."

Also, goddammit, one by one Chris manages to tarnish everything I love, and now he's moved on to Storage Wars.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

"It must hurt you that you know someone who is well-read and knowledges enough to overshadow your pseudo-intellect"

Oh, Chris...what? You can really tell when Chris is getting emotional and upset, his writing gets much worse. Some of the insults he's throwing out really sound like the ravings of a complete madman. "How about you take a spin on the color wheel, and get dizzy in the spiraling rainbow?" This stuff is just beyond what I normally expect even from Chris. I swear he's getting worse lately.

He so desperately wants to come up with a devastatingly witty put-down, but just can't fathom out how it's done. "Insult relating to color... Nig- no, wait, can't say that. Color... color... color wheel! Why don't you take a spin on the color wheel... wait, why would that be bad? Because he'd get dizzy! Yes! I am a latter-day Dorothy Parker!"

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Hates his dick, yet brags about it being 7 inches. Huh.

One more point towards him not being transgendered. He just hates all men except himself.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

One more point towards him not being transgendered. He just hates all men except himself.

I am completely perplexed by the bizarre psychosexual soup of Chris's gender identity. Most people, after they make a request that people use a new pronoun for them, use that pronoun for themselves consistently. But Chris refers to Chris as "he" and "him" pretty consistently (for example, in the Sonic cut-and-paste protest letter).