Moral responsibility when a friend troons out

You think you're guilty for showing them anime? You think fucking chink cartoons destroyed their psyche and judgement?

You didn't do anything, even without your help, they were an inherently broken person. They would have just as easily discovered Boku no Pico and found people to roleplay with without you.
I know, it's hard to deal with. You feel like you're losing your friend, you're experiencing stress and guilt. It's not even your guilt, you just don't know how to process this, your friend is destroying their identity, the very person you knew and loved, and you don't know who to blame and who to feel sorry for. I've been through the same thing, I've dealt with this too, which is why I sympathize with you. You gotta face the truth, this person is psychotic.
They can only be fixed if they realize they have a problem. They aren't going to. You need to cut your losses and begin the emotional journey of emotionally disassociating with this person. Keep them as a distant stranger. Otherwise they're going to take you down the tracks of the crazy train with them, cuz believe me this is going to get a whole lot worse.
 
  • Agree
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Cosmos, Taffy Without a Cause and 10 others
AnOminous said:
Not a single person in my entire life who transitioned did it in the trooning out way we see in these lolcow threads.
Click to expand...
Nor did my friends. Before joining this site I didn’t know what many of the words you guys use meant, troon especially. Every time I see these fucken loser wannabe fattie mcpatties (fave Russ Greer insult) I want to punch them in their dumb fake tranny faces. First of all, calling yourself a tranny while wearing girl clothes and a wig doesn’t make you a tranny. Begging for people to refer to you as female while constantly talking about being trans doesn’t make you trans. In fact it does the fucken opposite. My trans friends don’t have a single trace of being trans left in their history because the whole fucking point of transitioning IS TO BE THE GENDER YOU CHANGE TO! Not to be a “tranny” you fucken attention seeking merkin wearing fags.
Ok I’m done... sorry
 
  • Feels
  • Autistic
  • Informative
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, DangerousGas, Tragi-Chan and 5 others
The Fool said:
You think you're guilty for showing them anime? You think fucking chink cartoons destroyed their psyche and judgement?

You didn't do anything, even without your help, they were an inherently broken person. They would have just as easily discovered Boku no Pico and found people to roleplay with without you.
Click to expand...

I know, it's an exceptional thing to think. She could've found that cancer on her own. But we were both at pretty vulnerable places--high school girls with mental issues, talk about a fucking minefield of shit that can go wrong--and I can't help wishing I'd steered her towards something else. Hindsight is 20/20, amirite?

WhatNemesisMeans said:
You absolute madman.
Click to expand...

Slowboat worse than Hitler confirmed. :D

AnOminous said:
Not a single person in my entire life who transitioned did it in the trooning out way we see in these lolcow threads.
Click to expand...

Which is why I put "troon" in my thread header. Not to be a stereotypical shit, but I do know a couple of other transgender folks, and as a rule they just want to live as the sex they want to be. It's weird to me, but c'est la vie, live and let live, etc. With this friend, I'm worried because she shows all the signs of the transtrender/yaoi fixation type, and I'm concerned about her doing something she'll regret.

But OTOH, I can't run her life, and I can't know what's going on inside her head. So right now I'm just trying to be a good friend and let her know she can talk to me if she needs anything.
 
  • Feels
  • Autistic
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Taffy Without a Cause, Ravelord and 4 others
HQumn said:
Nor did my friends. Before joining this site I didn’t know what many of the words you guys use meant, troon especially.
Click to expand...

"Troon" originated on Something Awful as a portmanteau of "trans" and "goon." But because of the bizarre subculture there, it became associated with incredibly masculine men who claim to be trans despite not doing a single damn thing to look feminine, and it sort of moved here as a term, where it means that kind of bizarre creature.

I generally view a troon as someone who insults your intelligence by trying to force you to pretend they're what they're obviously not, and to put more effort into pretending that than they do. This is why they can go fuck themselves.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Cole phleps, HungoverHermaphrodite, Cosmos and 9 others
Friends and family are not yours to throw away over a major change that friends and family are made to help you see through to a compromise. If you can't at least compromise, take a break and cool down for a while, don't put the burden of soiled sheets on someone you consider(ed) your best friend or are your close relatives. It leads to a toxic environment that becomes increasingly difficult to be around them.

In other words, if they stuck out their neck for you try to do your part back for them.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Cosmos, Mrs Paul and 2 others
Your friend sounds like she has other problems besides being a genderhispter. I agree that this may be a maladaptive response to coping with trauma. Regrettably, you cannot save someone from themselves.
 
People have to live their own lives. You can offer your opinion, which you've done. If you're truly friends then your words are bouncing around in her head somewhere. Beyond that there isn't much you can do. You're going through the same shit that all people do when they feel a good friend is going down a destructive road.

If she's not open to external input on it then continuing with unsolicited criticism is just going to push her away. If she was open to being talked out of it then you'd know, because she'd probably be asking for your opinion. The best thing you can do is be ready for that moment if it comes, but until then just listen.

Slowboat to China said:
But OTOH, I can't run her life, and I can't know what's going on inside her head. So right now I'm just trying to be a good friend and let her know she can talk to me if she needs anything.
Click to expand...
Sometimes the only thing you can do is hang back with the fire extinguisher.
 
  • Agree
  • Autistic
  • Like
Reactions: Non-Expert!, HungoverHermaphrodite and Dilligaff
NumberingYourState said:
Friends and family are not yours to throw away over a major change that friends and family are made to help you see through to a compromise. If you can't at least compromise, take a break and cool down for a while, don't put the burden of soiled sheets on someone you consider(ed) your best friend or are your close relatives. It leads to a toxic environment that becomes increasingly difficult to be around them.

In other words, if they stuck out their neck for you try to do your part back for them.
Click to expand...

This person is an emotional wreck that is going to drag down everyone in their lives with them. Slowboat needs to live for themselves and not ruin their livelihood over someone willingly and actively fucking themselves over. They didn't get a limb cut off, they're basically acting like a shameless drug addict.
Slowboat disassociating with this person will show them that you can't just fuck over associates for your own selfish delusions without driving people away, and if they don't see that, then they can go ahead and bask in their harmful delusions, alone.
Live for yourself Slowboat, don't throw your life away for people who only care about themselves.
 
  • Agree
  • Autistic
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Sargent PoopyFace and ICametoLurk
Slowboat to China said:
Sorry if this is in the wrong subforum, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

The TL;DR is that a dear friend of mine, a woman my age, is transitioning into a man. Unfortunately, she has all the hallmarks of a transtrender a la Milo Stewart: yaoi boi fetishization, no stated dysphoria, no formal diagnosis, a prior record of adopting and dropping dramatic identities, etcetera. Given that the pair of us met in a "special school," and if even a quarter of the life story she told me is true then her childhood was one long uninterrupted rape, I could believe it's a desire to escape from trauma--but I'm concerned about her future. She's already on testosterone, and if she doesn't have dysphoria now, she could well be heading towards it.

I've tried to talk to her and suggest that maybe she's just gender-nonconforming (part of her argument for her trans status rests on the idea that she doesn't fit female stereotypes), but she's convinced she's genuinely trans. I don't want to be labeled a "hater" or cut off from her, and of course I can't know what's going on inside her head, so I'm keeping my peace for now. But I'm worried about her.

Furthermore, I may bear some responsibility for this. This is going to sound incredibly spergy, but I introduced her to anime back in high school. She latched onto the whole pretty-boy idea and I indulged it with the usual teen girl stupid text roleplay. Unfortunately, she never let go of it. If her yaoi boi obsession turns into medical transition, I'm partially responsible for what happens to her.

What should I do, kiwis? Should I hold my peace? Speak up? Is this none of my goddamn business and I should STFU and stop moralfagging? How do you handle it when a friend may be making a dangerous life choice?
Click to expand...
Tell her to go to a mental health professional to get an actual diagnosis. Self-diagnosing mental health issues is stupid, beyond not being a professional and self-serving bias, if you have actual mental health issues then by definition your judgement can't be trusted to diagnose them.

Alternatively, rape her with your strap-on while dressed as a dude until she likes it. Show her how being fucked by a real man feels like, use your glorious dicking skills to make her feel like a woman. (Do not actually do this.)
 
Last edited:
  • Late
  • Autistic
  • Informative
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Vocaloid Ruby and AnOminous
There is nothing you could have done. With the internet being as ubiquitous as it is, they would have found this path in one way or another.

There is nothing you can do. An unreasonable person cannot be reasoned with. The only thing you will succeed in doing by trying is to push them away. Even by suggesting they seek outside help, they will only translate that as you disagreeing with their choice and trying to undermine it.

All choice is out of your hands now. Attempt to be accepting of their choice and try to make friends with whatever kind of person they become.
 
  • Agree
  • Autistic
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite and Fustrated
AnOminous said:
Many people haven't. They're rare. I've encountered them, though. Not one of them has a thread here or is connected to any Rat King I know of.
Click to expand...

Oh I've encountered them my whole life. You see them out all the time in some of the seedier parts of town and sometimes you can't even tell until you really start to look close, but I've never known a friend or even an acquaintance who decided to become one.
 
  • DRINK!
  • Autistic
Reactions: HungoverHermaphrodite, Ravelord and Gym Leader Elesa
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back