@Mound Dweller cooking thread - Welcome to 5 star br*t*sh cuisine n’wah

Helvítis Túristi said:
Blanch them and transfer to cold water like the French do, then you can proceed to panfry them if you like. Good with hollandaise sauce. Or if you have white asparagus, you can make a chicken and asparagus soup with them. The stems are cooked and pureed with only the tops saved to finish the soup.
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Mound Dweller said:
I am not much a of a maker of things, the most complicated thing I usually "make" is an annual 4 hour turkey roast, and that consists of puling it's guts out slathering it in juices and shoving it in the oven. Things like "measurements" and "teaspoons of" are alien concepts to me. My more feeemaaale relations might give it a go though :eli2:
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Alternatively one thing Asparagus (steamed/blanched) goes well with is Mayonnaise (and bit of Ham/processed meat on the side) and there's literally no way to fuck it up yourself:
  • 1 tablespoon of Mustard (take one you usually eat soup with)
  • 1-2 eggs
  • Salt & Pepper
  • Oil (Canola or whatever works for your budget)
Throw it all together in a container , mix it continuously while adding oil until your mayonnaise looks right (opaque & thick, 4x-8x increase of initial volume)

To end it off you can optionally add either a bit of Vinegar or Lemon juice and quickly mix it again.
 
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The Jewel of the Nile said:
Mound Dweller died from veg overdose :(
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Your faith; it is wanting.
souschef said:
@Mound Dweller: coward
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PROMSIES MADE
PROMISES KEPT

indomitable snowman said:
How was the Asparagus?
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Never again.
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That crunch is pretty telling how undercooked it was (also the tipp is the softest/tastier bit).
At least that mayonnaise looked well made
 
fat_rat_on_the_grass said:
And I was called fussy for not eating spinach as a child... jesus mound lol. Then again there is that one lady who has lived off cheesy potatoes for like 30 years so I mean..
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in season 5 of fishtank one of the contestants was a dude that was a really picky eater (never had an olive for example) and in his adult life (hes 22) he would really only eat portesi cheese fries
which is just a cheese pizza without sauce, you cut it into rectangles and use marinara sauce as a dip
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LilHomieGayass said:
Trump is going to live to 120 fueled by a demonic phylactery his father collected and fried grey mcdonalds beef
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Sir, this is an English Cuisine thread.
But yes I agree, I AM INVINCIBLE.
AMHOLIO said:
Thank you for trying, @Mound Dweller . :semperfidelis: You earned a reprieve.

Next month you can try carrots. They're more palatable to everyone, young and old.
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One? I am the one and only, hence my immunity to the wicked ways of c*rrots.. Unless it's in a cake.
 
Mound Dweller said:
One? I am the one and only, hence my immunity to the wicked ways of c*rrots.. Unless it's in a cake.
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Carrots are so good dude. I eat them raw but they're good when cooked with a slight crunch too. Put them in a pot with a bit of butter, a bit of salt, and a bit of brown sugar, and it's a very cozy side dish.

I'm sorry Mound Dweller, I'm one with the carrot, I came out of the womb orange, I am a big carrot propagandist.
 
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