Movies that should exist

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A pair of slacker best friends rooming together after college post a joke online. They list a fake book for sale for $50,000 along with a movie based on the book (which also doesn't exist).

They forget about it until, one day, a famous billionaire purchases the one copy of the book and movie simply because it's the most expensive book and movie bundle in the world.

Unable to find work, our heroes accept the money and tell the billionaire it will take a few weeks to get the book and movie out of a family bank vault. In reality, unbeknownst to the purchaser, they are scrambling to write the book and create a movie while burning through his money.

What ensues is an eventful journey across America as the guys hire actors and production staff to turn their hilariously bad AI script into real life. All the while, the danger, the stakes, and the sunk cost fallacy are all only increasing.

Finally, it's time to deliver the implausibly created final product to the billionaire. As they exit their Uber, the one carrying the briefcase with the goods inside is rushed and punched by a Venezuelan migrant, killing him instantly as the briefcase is stolen.

The remaining main character, crying while being questioned by homicide detectives at the police station after watching his best friend get killed by one punch, is told by the police that, by the way, the billionaire wants to know whether he has access to the sequel.

"Huh?" The guy asks.

"Part 2," the police say, "he wants to know whether you have it...the Part 2 to the book and movie."

A twinkle appears in his eye as he gets an idea.

Upbeat music starts to play, opening the door for a sequel to this movie.

Then the credits roll and the movie is over.
 
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The people vs. Joshua Moon: It could be a dramatized telling of his life and the challenges Kiwi Farms has faced staying on the internet. Josh would be played by Michael B. Jordan.
 
LongTallTexan said:
The people vs. Joshua Moon: It could be a dramatized telling of his life and the challenges Kiwi Farms has faced staying on the internet. Josh would be played by Michael B. Jordan.
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This summer, one man dares to troll where no one has gone before
(Party Rocking song starts)
(Null as a kid, typing on an 80s PC)
(His parents enter the room)
"Joshua Moon, all you do is dox and a-log. You will never be as successful as your brother, Lowtax!"
"I, Joshua Moon, will show you all. I will win the internet and forge a legendary website"
(Null puts on a fedora and begins typing like that one Bruce Almighty scene)
No one thought he could make it. That he would be yet another ween. But he was no ordinary troll.
(Montage of Null being bullied by commenters on various websites, such as the Blockland Forums, ED, and 4chan)
He had a mission. The mission to find a lol, cow.
(Shot of Null walking through rural Virginia, before he comes across a man carrying a sign begging for a girlfriend)
(Next scene shows Null and his love interest, an emo girl from the Blockland forums)
"You are incredible Joshua, you will pwn all the haters, because you can do anything"
One man, mad at the internet, will win it all
Kiwifarms: The Movie (Coming summer 2027)

Plot twist of the movie: Null's love interest is actually the My Immortal author
 
Okay, so it's a bunch of retarded assholes and they're all best friends, and they're on a 'vacation' in Germany for mysterious reasons. It eventually turns out they're pursuing rumors of nazi gold as a get-rich-quick scheme. As it turns out, they accidentally stumble onto a huge reserve of crazy experimental drugs for military use, left over from ww2, and they accidentally become the largest drug cartel in the world and have to figure out what to do with it all.
 
I would love a dramatised adaptation of "Mine were of trouble" by Peter Kemp
 
Core Theorist said:
Okay, so it's a bunch of retarded assholes and they're all best friends, and they're on a 'vacation' in Germany for mysterious reasons. It eventually turns out they're pursuing rumors of nazi gold as a get-rich-quick scheme. As it turns out, they accidentally stumble onto a huge reserve of crazy experimental drugs for military use, left over from ww2, and they accidentally become the largest drug cartel in the world and have to figure out what to do with it all.
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Is this at all inspired by Without a Paddle?

I've never seen it but I think the plot is a bunch of retarded asshole best friends searching for DB Cooper's cash.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
You'd think Greek philosophy would be boring and gay but it turns out it's hilarious and gay instead. Had to read that thing in college and I want to be able to see it on the big screen as a party movie.
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There are lots of books that I've seen that I've thought would've made good movies.

I do remember reading entries for the The Black List and thought some of them would make good movies (though of the 1,500 or so listed, 450 have been produced).
 
A duology where a Cowboy becomes friends with a Samurai.

The first movie would be in one homeland and the sequel would be in the other; so if they start with the Samurai being in the wild west the next movie would be the Cowboy going to Japan, or vice versa.

Perhaps a trilogy where the middle movie involves a side adventure with pirates during the seafaring journey from one location to the other, option to make it a trio with a pirate character.

Inspired by the reports of surging Japanese and American friendship on X after region locks were introduced.

Also DREDD 2.
 
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Preacher ✝ said:
A duology where a Cowboy becomes friends with a Samurai.

The first movie would be in one homeland and the sequel would be in the other; so if they start with the Samurai being in the wild west the next movie would be the Cowboy going to Japan, or vice versa.

Perhaps a trilogy where the middle movie involves a side adventure with pirates during the seafaring journey from one location to the other, option to make it a trio with a pirate character.

Inspired by the reports of surging Japanese and American friendship on X after region locks were introduced.

Also DREDD 2.
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Samurai_Western.jpg
 
Counter culture movies.
We don't have movies coming out that blatantly satirize and make fun of the status quo.
Every piece of satire like this is in favor of the status quo, only certain demographics are bad, you have to insert a ton of checkboxes before the story begins to get written.

We live in insane times where perverted dudes in dresses become members of the US government.... AND NOBODY MADE A FUCKING COMEDY ABOUT IT?!?
Holy shit, Hollywood has tanked it's future big time by not making fun of this moronic bullshit that we went through over the last 10 years.
You think nobody would go to see a wacky Judd Apatow improv comedy about troons starring Jason Bateman in drag? Shit would be hilarious.
But no, every damn movie and show is trying to convince us tat this is 100% normal and we should not ask questions, across the fucking board, no exceptions, acceptance is mandatory in Hollywood.

That's why I don't watch Hollywood movies anymore.
Their current perspective is awful and they have no other perspectives.
 
Preacher ✝ said:
A duology where a Cowboy becomes friends with a Samurai.
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Someone on tumblr pointed this out years ago and I think it would have made a great movie if we still had the ability to make movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings.
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Even looking it up, I found this fanart:
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But I wouldn't want that, I would want something set around 1888 with the people who actually made up those demographics. You don't see old black ladies as elderly pirates. What you'd want is something like the son or daughter of a corsair leading them all on a quest for treasure.
 
So there's this crew of ex-special ops guys that are out of work. They all get together and decide to rob a casino in Vegas Ocean's 11 style.

They devise the plan, assemble the team, appropriate the necessary weapons and equipment, get specs of the hotel, etc.

On the day that the heist is supposed to go down, there's a Furry convention in the hotel.

They decide to go ahead with the heist anyway.

Hilarity ensues (or not).
 
gaysexenjoyer said:
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There was some forum post around 2021 that described the ending of how a Chris movie would end. I liked the idea and expounded it in my head.
2026-03-31 20_26_46-Untitled 3 — LibreOffice Writer.png

Sneed's Feed n Seed said:
FF6 as a Trilogy. Fight me.
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I always FF7 could make a good movie (or movies) but its damaged goods at this point. FF6...the two main issues I have with that is that the first movie would have make perfect sense as a stand-alone film as trilogies tend to be, and for a video game in the mid-1990s it has multiple women protagonists...something that I just don't trust anyone with.
 
I wish someone would do a film based on the book Colony by Rob Grant (one of the writers of Red Dwarf).
He died recently and the last thing he wrote was another Dwarf book which comes out soon. Hyped for it.
 
I wish that more works used accent mapping like anime does (take the accent within your culture, map it to the equivalent cultural space in the language you're dubbing into), and so I would especially like to see Napoleon Bonaparte, Alexander the Great and Josef Stalin correctly portrayed as hillbillies.
 
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