Multi-level marketing/pyramid schemes and the people who fall for them

[CIA Nigger]

Kirby salesmen are some of the most notorious MLM marketers. They'll come to your house, come in, and desperately try to sell you an expensive ass vacuum that's actually quite good but extremely pricey, and I'm serious when I say they're desperate.

Also no thread on MLM would be complete without mentioning Chris Chan's cutco "job".

One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.

 

[Cosmos]

The only good thing about MLMs is that they inspired one of the best Always Sunny episodes.

Seriously, watching this episode is probably the best crash course in MLM you could hope for.

We have a pyramid scheme thread. We might want to merge, Cosmos.

Just a thought because I hate MLMs with a passion, but I really think OP is relevant and well-written.

Ah, I wasn't aware of that thread! I agree that a merge would be best. @Cricket @Null, could one of you merge this thread with the pyramid scheme one?

EDIT: Okay, maybe we should keep it separate for now.

 

[pickleniggo]

Seriously, watching this episode is probably the best crash course in MLM you could hope for.



Ah, I wasn't aware of that thread! I agree that a merge would be best. @Cricket @Null, could one of you merge this thread with the pyramid scheme one?

I really do love your opening post though! I didn't want to make the call and step on your toes. MLM's have become ever present on social media since the original thread and anyone willing to open a dialogue about them is doing God's work. People who run MLMs are the fucking scourge of the earth.

 

[The Great Citracett]

In middle school we always did the magazine sales for those predatory fucks with their little cottonball guys. Those things were called "Weepuls" (because good things happen when wee-pul together!)

It was basically tailor-made for the rich brats whose parents were doctors and such, with lots of connections and an office with people coming in all day. The company always had the teachers make big sales charts to hang at the front of class with all our names on it so we could all be reminded exactly who wasn't selling enough.

The teachers were all very much on board and bought into it in a big way. Using the charts to name and shame and turn us against each other. A big thing was the company would always promise a pizza party if we all sold enough, and if we didn't get to have the party, well we all know who's selling and who's not.

It was the same kids who won every year so it didn't matter. Most of us poor kids just bought ourselves Nintendo Power or something. The principal was cool though and he and some of the teachers always made sure everyone got pizza anyway because he clearly thought it was bullshit.

Now, they sell candy bars which is even worse because they send a big box of candy bars home with each kid, which they're supposed to sell for like $1 each. Each box has about 50 in it, and what do you think happens when you send a kid home with that much candy? Apart from the rich parents who sell it in the office, all the other parents are pretty much on the hook for $50 instantly.

 

[Ruin]

A woman.

I know he's shiposting but he's right. Every single one of the people I know irl who has gotten suckered into MLM has been female. None of my guy friends or relatives ever have.

Weird.

 

[Y2K Baby]

I know he's shiposting but he's right. Every single one of the people I know irl who has gotten suckered into MLM has been female. None of my guy friends or relatives ever have.

Weird.

OR am I?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

How is it that American culture promotes this creepy cultlike mentality that allows bullshit like MLMs (and cults of course) to thrive?

 

[pickleniggo]

I know he's shiposting but he's right. Every single one of the people I know irl who has gotten suckered into MLM has been female. None of my guy friends or relatives ever have.

Weird.

It really depends on the product and demographics. I know a few pseudo-meathead dudes who would spam social media with supplemental products. I know dudes who got suckered into weird "financial planner" schemes while working two low-paying real jobs. One thing I will say, though, is that women tend to fall for MLMs more repeatedly. If shitty candles don't work, try body wraps, then ugly ill-fitting clothing, then oils.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

One of my customers is a guy who's fallen for every MLM under the sun, from ACN to Kyani to WakeUpNow. He's also a huge conspiracy theorist who believes that chemtrails make us more vulnerable to spells cast by government witches.

Now, they sell candy bars which is even worse because they send a big box of candy bars home with each kid, which they're supposed to sell for like $1 each. Each box has about 50 in it, and what do you think happens when you send a kid home with that much candy? Apart from the rich parents who sell it in the office, all the other parents are pretty much on the hook for $50 instantly.

I remember that episode of Beavis and Butt-Head. They kept buying candy bars from each other using the same dollar.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

In middle school we always did the magazine sales for those predatory fucks with their little cottonball guys. Those things were called "Weepuls" (because good things happen when wee-pul together!)

Yeah that's what I was talking about earlier I remember that horseshit and it was always someone who had older siblings to carry the torch who made out. Looking back it was such horseshit because where I lived you had in say a five mile radius 3 grade schools a junior high and a high school that I could remember maybe more that's several thousand kids no way in hell it would work unless you had prior connections.

 

[MysticMisty]

So basically Girl scout cookies and those things schools try and get their students to sell to their friends and family for shitty prizes?

I always dreaded whenever the time came for another bullshit sale in school. We never had them in elementary school for some reason (although we did live in a very different state at the time), but middle and high school had them annually. They always encouraged us to have our parents take it to their work places and do most of the sales for us, except for most (all?) jobs that's actually highly illegal and my parents refused to do it. And then I'd get openly bitched at in class by the teachers for not pulling my weight by selling these shitty products. Even had more then a few casual accusations from the teachers that my parents didn't love/care about my enough by breaking the rules and bringing in the catalog anyways.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I've been accosted three times over the years by friends and acquaintances involved in MLM.

• One was someone that wanted me to get involved in some unspecified MLM. When I told her I wasn't interested, she replied, "What do you mean you're not interested?!" and tried to repeat her sales pitch again. I logged off just to save my sanity.
• Another was a long-time friend who appeared to be involved in multiple MLMs over the years. She once confided she did it because she felt she didn't contribute enough to the household. I declined involvement with one of her health supplement MLMs. I'm impressed that she took the hint and hasn't bothered me since then when we talk. She stopped hawking items on social media, but she may focus solely on the people she knows that will buy anything.
• The most-recent instance was someone else that made a cryptic social media post about a new venture. Shortly, she said sent me a private message saying she needed to ask me something about said venture, and I thought she was going to ask me about the paperwork associated with a new business given that makes up part of my day job. Instead, she wanted me to work with her to promote some health-related MLM. I told her I couldn't take the supplements and I truthfully lacked the time, but I was willing to wish her luck on her new venture. She still makes occasional posts about it, but she hasn't approached me about it any more, thank goodness.

Reading @TheGreatCitracett 's post about school fundraisers made me think about my own experience.

Spoiler: Grade School Fun(draising)

Having gone to a private elementary school, fundraising was a given. During my time there, we had two main fundraisers: an annual candy sale and an all-school jog-a-thon in the spring, usually in May. All things considered, two big fundraisers for a single school year aren't bad given how much more prevalent fundraising seems today.

In 5th grade, an encyclopedia salesman came to our class (and presumably the others) with a sales pitch where we were to encourage our parents to subscribe to getting a full set of encyclopedias by agreeing to receive and pay for 1-2 volumes each month for however many months. Even if our parents didn't want to buy, the salesman still expected everyone to return the sales sheet with a no response the next day with the promise of some sort of gift or prize if we had a 100% response rate. I forgot to tell my parents that night - most likely because they weren't too keen on MLM - and I forgot about it again the next morning until I got to school. Remembering the 100% participation thing, I quickly pulled out my blank form before class, checked the box for no sale, and faked my mom's signature the best I could. I didn't want to be that person that cost us a chance at a prize. Sad part is, if we did get a prize, it was so trivial I don't even remember what it was.

The prize we won the following year for being the class that sold the most for our regular candy sale fundraiser was far more fun: an afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese's.

I've noticed some schools and groups now offer an alternative to fundraising in the form of paying a flat opt-out fee in lieu of participating in fundraisers. I did the math for one such opt-out fee I saw and it was 33% higher than the minimum required fundraising amount, as if to force encourage people to participate in the fundraisers.

[Edited to add a missing word]

 

[Lunete]

I remember this one school fundraiser I did where we sold candles. The company's signature candle was shaped like a cinnamon roll and the brochure had warnings in it reminding people not to eat them.

 

[Monika H.]

Happened to a friend of mine with an Insurance company. He got smart and dropped out in a couple of months once he got wind of how things worked.
He tried to shill an all-encompassing "Retirement plan" to me and my wife (we had just married) back when I still had no job and we were getting settled on our new life. Eventually, we did start a saving plan with his company, but at a much more moderate monthly expense and without all the bullshit he tried to put in. And, he did try to hook me with his manager/mentor for a job interview, which I never took since he had the gall to say that accountant and salesman are the same thing. No, they aren't.
Really, fuck them. I'd rather have peddled ecstasy to tourists in Wenceslas Square.

 

[Daughter of Cernunnos]

Kirby salesmen are some of the most notorious MLM marketers. They'll come to your house, come in, and desperately try to sell you an expensive ass vacuum that's actually quite good but extremely pricey, and I'm serious when I say they're desperate.

Also no thread on MLM would be complete without mentioning Chris Chan's cutco "job".

ewww. he came in the house with his shoes on and picked his ear. mlm is the worst.

 

[pickleniggo]

Everyone’s stories about school fundraisers are making me ill. We definitely had those in my elementary school, but we were never guilted into participating. In fact the only pressure we ever felt came directly from one asshole kid whose parents must’ve pressured everyone they knew into buying junky crap from the yearly catalog we were sent home with. Said kid thought he was a lot better than everyone else because he was able to get the shitty rewards for reaching goals.

Said kid ended up dying of a heroin overdose a year after graduation. So I guess everyone else won at life in the end.

 

[Bewarezah]

Hoh, I remember some shit from my childhood. I was never really involved inthose mlm school things, wasn't really my countries thing, I guess. But when I was yound there was this one thing that was really big: selling perfumes. The company's name was LR and my father and one of his buddies back then fell for it as a friend of said buddy introduced the concept to them. They each got a suitcase full of introduction papers to the topic and filled to the brim with perfume samples. They were supposed to go from door to door and ask others to try the samples etc. Typical mlm shit. I don't really know how much they spend in the end since I was, like, 7 or some shit, but it was surely not as much as the other poor souls mentioned in this thread. The only good thing for me as a kid that came out of it was that the company had tons of useless crap like biros and balloons for the guys to give out to alongside samples and I indulged in said balloons.
Maaaany years later when we moved out of the apartment we were in we left that suitcase with the leftoveer sampes at the trash and I saaw how some poeple picked it out and stole all the samples. They all smeled like old lady to be honest.

 

[Monika H.]

Said kid ended up dying of a heroin overdose a year after graduation.

 

[Nekromantik]

My husbands step mother does this. It's some pill that's like the old WoW chips they had back in the day. I think it's something from Dr. Oz. It's supposed to not let you digest fat, but all you get is really bad shits. For six years she's been trying to get us to buy some saying it works, because she lost 10 pounds. She always gains the weight back and more as soon as she stops taking them. Still gets upset at me for not buying them.

 

[Monika H.]

My husbands step mother does this. It's some pill that's like the old WoW chips they had back in the day. I think it's something from Dr. Oz. It's supposed to not let you digest fat, but all you get is really bad shits. For six years she's been trying to get us to buy some saying it works, because she lost 10 pounds. She always gains the weight back and more as soon as she stops taking them. Still gets upset at me for not buying them.

I can imagine what she may say: "But whyyyy? Don't you want to feel better and see yourself in a reflection of wellness and beauty for your husband?"