Careercow Narcissa Wright / Cosmo Wright - Former speedrunner tumbling down

[Raging Capybara]

I think TASers / people who dig through asm like mzxrules, skater82297, swordlesslink deserve more credit. IDK if Cosmo was smart enough to spend some quality time with a debugger, or dedicated enough to find new strats like Kyle (FullGrownGaming) or zfg. Maybe the latter years ago.

Cosmo only had time to use chinese consoles. Debugging and emulators were for "plebs" according to him, probably.

 

[Plissken]

He is under the mistaken impression that the technology to upload your being into a computer is right around the corner. He is also mistaken that when the pro-eugenic fascist technocracy that will eventually develop the technology wouldn't shoot him on the spot.

The fuck? That's some Deus Ex shit right there, and I guarantee he hasn't even considered touching that series.

It really does go to show how out of touch with reality Narci is, with his views of tech. Bionic limbs are only just now starting to be viable (Even then, they are still EXTREMELY expensive). Artificial intelligence is still in it's infancy, and things like uploading your conscious into a computer are still purely science fiction (And probably will remain that way, atleast in our life times. The human brain is extremely complex, and we still don't know as much about it as we'd like. If we did, psychological train wrecks like Narci wouldn't exist)

Then again, Narci really doesn't put much thought into anything. All he does is chug soylent, throw fits, take pills and drugs, and beg for money.

 

[Sphere of Many Eyes]

I think TASers / people who dig through asm like mzxrules, skater82297, swordlesslink deserve more credit. IDK if Cosmo was smart enough to spend some quality time with a debugger, or dedicated enough to find new strats like Kyle (FullGrownGaming) or zfg. Maybe the latter years ago.

Whoever was thanked in the OoT commentary video probably did most of the heavy lifting.

 

[rabo]

Guys, I was being sarcastic. Even if he had singlehandedly developed the Wrong Warp glitch his consciousness is still not worth backing up to zip-disk ;P

 

[Monolith]

The fuck? That's some Deus Ex shit right there, and I guarantee he hasn't even considered touching that series.

It really does go to show how out of touch with reality Narci is, with his views of tech. Bionic limbs are only just now starting to be viable (Even then, they are still EXTREMELY expensive). Artificial intelligence is still in it's infancy, and things like uploading your conscious into a computer are still purely science fiction (And probably will remain that way, atleast in our life times. The human brain is extremely complex, and we still don't know as much about it as we'd like. If we did, psychological train wrecks like Narci wouldn't exist)

Then again, Narci really doesn't put much thought into anything. All he does is chug soylent, throw fits, take pills and drugs, and beg for money.

I've read that futurologists expect human-level AI to appear around 2045, so that would most likely only put it outside of Narcissa's lifetime.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

I've read that futurologists expect human-level AI to appear around 2045, so that would most likely only put it outside of Narcissa's lifetime.

who knows? He could live for a long time out of pure spite

 

[Null]

I'm going to do a stream recapping Cosmo's life tomorrow because he's quickly become my favorite lolcow.

Things I know about that I want to cover:
- First(?) really famous speedrunner.
- Started drinking soy and begged them for sponsorship on Twitter.
- Got completely destroyed during a Nintendo World Championship.
- Became trans.
- Soylent offered them a sponsorship after 3 years of begging and then threw it back in their face
- Now streams basically 24 hours a day, including time when they're asleep.

I'm looking for video clips of these things as well as anything else you can think of that's particularly funny.

 

[uncleShitHeel]

Now streams basically 24 hours a day, including time when they're asleep.

That just seems like wasted bandwidth which could be better used hosting Brazilian fart porn.

 

[Ms. Cegination]

Brazilian fart porn.

Relevant Narcissa clip:

@Null

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Relevant Narcissa clip: https://streamable.com/87st4
@Null

I legit just spit fucking beer all over my monitor

 

[Pervious]

My mind is full of what. Who would stream themselves fucking around under a blanket like that? Was the fart intentional? If so did he practice to do this?

So many questions, and each raises more.

 

[yeahweknow]

I'm going to do a stream recapping Cosmo's life tomorrow because he's quickly become my favorite lolcow.
I'm looking for video clips of these things as well as anything else you can think of that's particularly funny.

a classic video he uploaded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHA1qxsLH-0

imagine you havent heard from your favorite streamer cosmo in a long time, then you see this video from someone called narcissa, its a fucking poetry slam full of speedrunning terminology with someone who sounds like cosmo reading it in a high pitched voice talking about the futility of speedrunning, hurting his wrists playing video games, putting on dresses and getting his dodgy hormones, all the while there is black and white slow motion zelda gameplay of link rolling around on the floor backwards to movie trailer music

 

[awoo]

@Null you missed the glorious time when Narcissa went through the thread and replied to people's questions

They're still on Narcissa's Youtube. Search "kiwifarms" (I have saved these, but I recommend others save them as well as it really is some quality content)
Here's an example

Links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34blyTo7UD8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wBEQ6e8g2M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9HjrW9C3pQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5PhA_6s0KY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmyQTsrxrws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRnyDc5xq1Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxwxIPBkWNc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_TeqVBgXH4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJbbb1GNrWM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fmLq4tKBqE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wedji-9g0QM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KnO61cqjxk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZbib-6u-GI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieF-7uKHdQ4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pypDfcXBm00

 

[Gamba]

I'm going to do a stream recapping Cosmo's life tomorrow because he's quickly become my favorite lolcow.

Things I know about that I want to cover:
- First(?) really famous speedrunner.
- Started drinking soy and begged them for sponsorship on Twitter.
- Got completely destroyed during a Nintendo World Championship.
- Became trans.
- Soylent offered them a sponsorship after 3 years of begging and then threw it back in their face
- Now streams basically 24 hours a day, including time when they're asleep.

I'm looking for video clips of these things as well as anything else you can think of that's particularly funny.

Here is Narcissa's failed Soylent sponsorship deal. I tried to upload Cosmo getting destroyed by JOHN FUCKING NUMBERS, but the file is too large. Take WORLD RECORDS instead.

I have followed Cosmo since 2011 and have almost 100 Narcissa Wright clips on my hard drive.

 

[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]

I'm going to do a stream recapping Cosmo's life tomorrow because he's quickly become my favorite lolcow.

Things I know about that I want to cover:
- First(?) really famous speedrunner.
- Started drinking soy and begged them for sponsorship on Twitter.
- Got completely destroyed during a Nintendo World Championship.
- Became trans.
- Soylent offered them a sponsorship after 3 years of begging and then threw it back in their face
- Now streams basically 24 hours a day, including time when they're asleep.

I'm looking for video clips of these things as well as anything else you can think of that's particularly funny.

In the months leading up to the reveal of "Narcissa" a collection of events occurred, I wonder how significant the combination and timing of these were to his mental break.

On the 22nd of April 2015 Cosmo rage quit a stream after a user: totodile_dundee said "you play video games for a living stop being such a whiny faggot." his reaction is the webm attached, which I am lead to believe is an over reaction for him clearly somthing is bothering him. Next day (April 23) Rachel Bryk a close firend of Cosmo, jumped off a bridge killing herself and apparently Cosmo didn't speedrun again until after his "transition". The Nintendo World Championships happen in June where Cosmo loses embarrassingly in the final. In July, Adrian and Cosmo split, her statement is attached. Come November he comes out as trans.

There are a couple of other events I don't recall from reading through this thread as it developed that warrant mention as they are evidence Cosmo was always a self absorbed, vindicitve individual. One of the most well known is the Mirrored incident. Where Cosmo got butthurt because he felt a commentator was getting more attention than him during his autism convention 2013 run of Wind Waker. Here's a clip, now imagine it for 5 hours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOMhKoekQXA that isn't the interesting part though, that was after the run finished and Cosmo cried to his speedrunslive irc channel about what happened and Cosmo who was still very popular at this time sicced his fanbase on Mirrored who quit streaming and speedrunning as a result of the harassment.

Another example is Cosmo wanted to create leaderboards for speedrunslive and had been promising they were coming for months and months, lots of people were excited and wanted them but he's a lazy piece of shit so Cronikeys got fed up and made their own: congrats.io. Cosmo's response was to threaten Cronikey's and "encourage" them to hand over the code so he didn't have to do any work. Once again Cosmo told his fans so they could harass whoever caught the ire of Cosmo. Cronikeys deleted the congrats.io leaderboards. Cosmo never made his own leaderboards instead opting to "bless" speedrun.com.

One last thing I want to mention is Cosmo's long standing self destructive need for attention regardless of how negative it is, whenever anyone mentions him online he is there. When he first did a run at GDQ he tweeted out looking for pitty because 4chan made fun of him for obvious reasons. This is something he is STILL doing 6 years later. I am also certain he used to post on 4chan's speedrunning community /srg/ talking about himself to get attention and so he could play the victim. If you want to find some information about old Cosmo look for archives on /vg/ as they used to discuss him a lot and I'm sure some of them weren't him sock puppeting.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

While we're compiling greatest hits, one of my favourites was when Narcissa fucked with zeldaspeedruns.com out of sheer spite. Really brings all these fluff pieces that try to paint him as a "valued member of the speedrun community" into context.

tl;dr: Narcissa got really salty at the Zelda speedrun community because they were successful and he wasn't, vandalized the biggest community site (he still owned the domain but was otherwise uninvolved) and bought zeldaspeedruns.org so they couldn't migrate there.

https://pastebin.com/raw/FFnAxDwA
http://archive.is/HTlSJ

[9:34 AM] ♕ Narcissa: i don't like the current management of zsr nor do i like that they are taking what i originally made as a place to share glitch resources and spinning it into a career
[9:36 AM] ♕ Narcissa: in which they are the kings and all the runners get taken advantage of
[9:39 AM] ♕ Narcissa: 'course i'm the queen
[9:40 AM] ♕ Narcissa: i will be vengeful and self interested until i have pushed everyone else out of my space
[9:40 AM] ♕ Narcissa: and then i will have peace and quiet

 

[awoo]

The old ZSR site ran like shit (like sonichu.com) for years. Fortunately the actual speedrunning community moved to zelda.speedruns.com and now the site even runs well.

 

[Desire Lines]

Two great Cosmo moments:

Cosmo REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE's

Cosmo uploads a Bloodsports trailer someone on /r/samandtolki made of him on his official channel

 

[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]

There was the time some concerened viewer sent counsellors(iirc) to his house.

This was a year and a half ago and look how far gone he is. Look how terrified he is by a mere knock on the door. I haven't watched that entire stream and can't stomach searching reddit to find the s&t thread on it to get any cliff notes but over the preceding 16 minutes he had one of his many on stream breakdowns.

Which brings me another point, it is clear Cosmo paints themself as the victim for sympathy dollars. Just look at this video he uploaded onto his channel. It's him reading a thread on /v/ mocking him before he fullscreens his webcam for yet another "breakdown".

https://www.youtube.com/embed/l6s6MHvO0Bs

 

[Gamba]

There was the time some concerened viewer sent counsellors(iirc) to his house.

This was a year and a half ago and look how far gone he is. Look how terrified he is by a mere knock on the door. I haven't watched that entire stream and can't stomach searching reddit to find the s&t thread on it to get any cliff notes but over the preceding 16 minutes he had one of his many on stream breakdowns.

No one sent the counselors. The counselors overheard Narcissa crying and thrashing as they were passing nearby.