🐱 NASA redefines the Zodiac

CatParty
http://distractify.com/geek/2016/09/19/new-zodiac-signs-what

Your whole existence is a lie because NASA ruined everything and informed us that there are actually 13 constellations in the Zodiac — not 12.

FYI, the "new" constellation, which has been around forever but evaded common knowledge, is called Ophiuchus. The Babylonians discovered it but had settled on a 12-month calendar by the time they found a 13th constellation, so they just left it out.

By the way, the groundbreaking information comes from "The Space Place," NASA's kid-friendly, educational website. And it has some information that shakes things up a little:

An article about astrology and constellations explains that zodiac signs were made up 3,000 years ago by the Babylonians, who paired them with the constellations they saw. But, in the thousands of years since then, the position of the constellations has changed, due to the Earth 'wobbling' on its axis.

So, the constellations are no longer in the same spots they once were.

If you want to go back and get the ~accurate~ information, here's an updated list of horoscopes from Modern Astrologers:
• Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
• Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
• Pisces: March 11 – April 18
• Aries: April 18 – May 13
• Taurus: May 13 – June 21
• Gemini: June 21 – July 20
• Cancer: July 20 – August 10
• Leo: August 10 – September 16
• Virgo: September 16 – October 14
• Libra: October 14 – November 23
• Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
• Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
• Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20

 
I've gone from "Taurus" to "Aries."

I think it suits me better, but I put no stock in this crap to begin with, and as NASA's shown, no one else should either.

Isn't this news like 7 years old now?
Not even that. Ophiuchus was discovered by the people who wrote the Epic of Gilgamesh.

Astronomy hasn't been scientific for ages, so a scientific organization really has no power to dictate what it is or isn't. It's unlikely that we'll see any change unless all the horoscope columns agree to it.

The New Ager salt is pretty great tho
That's astrology, you autist.

Astronomy is the tradition of Galileo, Copernicus, Carl Sagan, and Muslims back in the good centuries when the camelfucker crowd lacked access to nitroglycerine.

Astrology is the dopey hippie shit.
 
Last edited:
Not even that. Ophiuchus was discovered by the people who wrote the Epic of Gilgamesh.
i know very little of this, but i'll explain as best as i can
but a constellation is in the zodiac if it falls on a line, and since the earth wobbles in a few ways, the line has moved enough that ophiuchus is now part of said line.
ophiuchus itself has been a constellation for a loooong looong time
 
You've done it NASA now he's gonna have to strike again!

TedCruzZodiac.jpg
 
Back