New Coke is coming back - Failed attempt to replace Coca-Cola in the 80s is coming back to promote Stranger Things

[UF 404]

Never tried it. Might buy one just to see what it's like and then move on with my life.

 

[Pargon]

Bring back Holiday Pepsi year-round so I can finally justify my diabetes.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

Stranger Things should have been a one-series-and-done but because jerking off 80s/90s nostalgia works pathetically well on Gen Z we're going to get season after season of REMEMBER FLOCK OF SEAGULLS REMEMBER SLAP BRACELETS REMEMBER TEDDY RUXPIN REMEMBER THE GOONIES until we are all blissfully embraced by the heat death of the fucking universe.

TO be fair, it's not just Stranger Things. It happens everywhere, in every other possible media. Even if it's not vintage/retro nostalgia, it's meme-nostalgia. "OMG I REMEMBER THAT! I KNOW THA REFERENCE", it's like certain audiences want movies to validate their alleged intelligence.

(I said "alleged" because remember something from ten years ago doesn't make you particularly smart, it makes you a normal, healthy human being, that thing they're often so afraid of actually being).

 

[Pargon]

TO be fair, it's not just Stranger Things. It happens everywhere, in every other possible media. Even if it's not vintage/retro nostalgia, it's meme-nostalgia. "OMG I REMEMBER THAT! I KNOW THA REFERENCE", it's like certain audiences want movies to validate their alleged intelligence.

(I said "alleged" because remember something from ten years ago doesn't make you particularly smart, it makes you a normal, healthy human being, that thing they're often so afraid of actually being).

Agree. If this were any other thread talking about a huge corporation and mass media joining forces to peddle kitsch to normies clawing desperately at developing a personality, I'd be calling out whatever example was thread-relevant.

Stranger Things is just a particularly egregious example because on nostalgia fuel and a handful of strong performances (that casting director deserves a medal for finding not just one but five child actors worth a damn) it managed to hornswoggle a legion of media critics into overlooking shit writing. Not a grand accomplishment, but impressive for a new IP.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Old Coke.

 

[PL 001]

Fuck this. Bring back Vault, Coke company.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

Really feels like Coca-Cola just throws shit at the wall to see what sticks longer than usual. They brought out an Orange Vanilla Coke that un-fucking-surprisingly tastes like a delightful blend of furniture polish and sugar. It doesn't even mix well.

Though, I mean, picking up shit that didn't stick to the wall the first time and chucking it at the wall AGAIN is an interesting tactic.

EDIT: I seriously don't understand how blending citrus and cola right is so damn hard for these fuckmooks. Lemon juice plays well with cola, amazingly, lime juice is fantastic with cola, orange is a bit of a maybe but given how they fucked up Lime Coke I'm going to attribute the shittiness of Orange Vanilla Coke to their taste testers being terrible.

 

[ProgKing of the North]

Put the cocaine back in it

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

Put the cocaine back in it

That would make for an amazing energy drink tbh

 

[mr.moon1488]

It was easy to tell the difference between the two: Coke has stronger carbonation.


Wait, that stuff was real?

Yeah, I had some as a kid, and thought I was weird for thinking it tasted like lemony soap, but then I found out that everyone at my school felt the same way.

 

[Xarpho]

At least it's better than that lime shit they both tried to push everywhere at one point.

I remember briefly when I was in high school, there was a Coca-Cola variant with coffee flavoring. One of my teachers compared it to shoe polish.

Pretty psyched it's coming back though, I've already enjoyed Crystal Pepsi within the last year, another soft drink that was before my time.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

i mean i'd try it

 

[AnOminous]

Eh, to be fair, Pepsi bringing back Crystal Pepsi on several occasions seemed to work for them, so perhaps this could work. The only difference is that I'm not too sure how many people asked for New Coke to be brought back.

There was never really any reason for this stuff to exist. If you want to drink a shittier tasting Coke, just get a 3 liter bottle of Faygo and if you get sick of it after a few swigs, spray it all over another juggalo.

 

[Racist Trash]

No it was its own product. In double blind taste tests it performed better than Coca-Cola Classic and Pepsi. That being said a lot of people attribute this to it being slightly sweeter, which would make it more favorable in an environment where you are only given a couple of ounces vs sitting down to a whole can.

If I remember right that's the same reason why Pepsi would always win those taste tests people respond better to the sweeter tasting drink in taste tests but tend to go for a different taste when paired with eating or just normal consumption.

Taste tests are weird shit.

 

[OB 946]

If I remember right that's the same reason why Pepsi would always win those taste tests people respond better to the sweeter tasting drink in taste tests but tend to go for a different taste when paired with eating or just normal consumption.

Taste tests are weird shit.

Yeah it has to do with sweetness vs acidity. The sweetness will give immediate satisfaction but that "crisp, refreshing" quality that you get from coke classic and other typically refreshing drinks like lemonade are actually caused directly by the acid content. The high acid content, which you taste as the harsh bite in say a warm soda, causes your mouth to produce a lot of saliva to protect it from the sudden surge of low pH liquid. This effect is what really gives you that quenched thirst feeling from the first sip of say a cold coke or lemonade on a hot day after mowing the lawn. Coca-Cola, more or less, found the perfect balance of acidity and sweetness 120 years ago because of their addition of the coca leaf. Other colas used only the kola nut, which while bitter, isn't quite as bitter as the combination of kola nut and coca leaf.

Anyway, I said all that to say that while the overwhelming sweetness of New Coke or Pepsi might win a blind taste test, those too-sweet drinks don't have the crisp refreshing factor that Coca-Cola Classic does, which is what a lot of consumers look for and is why Coke has such a massive share of the soft drink market.

 

[WhoIsSutterKane]

How's it going to go viral if they're only making half a million cans?

 

[sasazuka]

You'd think they'd kinda-sorta want to avoid bringing back New Coke after all who was their spokesman again? Oh yeah

Spoiler: Americas Dad

I remember Bill Cosby endorsing Coca-Cola but the spokesman I associate the most with New Coke is Max Headroom (Matt Frewer).

 

[loli]

I've always wanted to try this. I'm glad they're bringing it back. My dad says it was too sweet.

 

[Archeops]

Eh... I'd be okay with this if there was a possibility of it seeing a future release but judging by the promotion it's going to be a one-time thing.

Also, if it's as sweet as people say then I'm better off buying Pepsi (even more so since sugar-sweetened Pepsi is widely available.)

Bring back Holiday Pepsi year-round so I can finally justify my diabetes.

Seconded, that one was an amazing flavor.

I remember briefly when I was in high school, there was a Coca-Cola variant with coffee flavoring. One of my teachers compared it to shoe polish.

Pretty psyched it's coming back though, I've already enjoyed Crystal Pepsi within the last year, another soft drink that was before my time.

Holy shit, someone else remembers Coca-Cola BlāK! I loved that stuff to death.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

And to the guy who called Stranger Things the "hey remember this and remember that" show you're spot on, there's a term thrown around in wrestling for a wrestler who just does shit for the sake of doing shit regardless of psychology or telling a story and I think it fits this series well and that's a spot monkey.