NewOld Content Part 2 - This is where the rest of this shit goes

[Karen Riley]

This will be my last upload for the night.

Backstory to this is that friend of Chris had a sleepover with some other girls who joined in on a phone call with him. Of course, Chris became enamored by them. Bonus pickles to anyone who spots the Easter Egg.

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Is the Easter Egg the reference to Logan? If I remember correctly he was Kim's gay brother who served in Afghanistan, who got awfully offended when he logged onto Chris's Youtube channel to see a video called 'Don't Trust Those Homos Over There.' I guess that makes you the female face he puts to whoever Kim is nowadays which is awesome.

Anyway thank you for sharing all of this. Asides from the entertainment from things like his scheme to assault Tito to get Heather back, this thread has given me a seriously strong dose of nostalgia and has also filled in a few blanks which confused so many people on /cwc/ when these events were going on.

If you have any emails from when Chris was avoiding the Internet after the whole Jackie situation fell through I'd love to read them. Obviously we have some highly detailed coverage of his contact with Jackie but it'd be interesting to hear him talk about that with someone else.

 

[Mungo]

So I will try and find interesting emails to drop, but you all get to give me some ideas. If you want to know if there is any more clarification for certain sagas or events in his life I can use my nifty search tool to pick out those emails to compile.
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Were you Magical Man?

 

[Bosnian Wizard]

Christ, Chris really is obsessed with sex.

'Your boyfriend cheated on you? Maybe you weren't fucking him enough. Anyway, I'm here if you want some comforting '

'If the Wallflower just wants to be friends, maybe we can be friends with benefits '

'I went out to Friday for a drink Thursday evening; made two new friends; a 22-year old pretty woman who's going through a divorce (lucky)' (this one's a verbatim quote, even for Chris viewing a woman going through a divorce as an opportunity seems pretty fucking low, although not really surprising I suppose)

 

[Buck Strickland]

God, there was a time when his autism used to not turn heads.

LOL in the 2nd pic look at the mom holding the kid on the left side

 

[Caz]

Christ, Chris really is obsessed with sex.

'Your boyfriend cheated on you? Maybe you weren't fucking him enough. Anyway, I'm here if you want some comforting '

'If the Wallflower just wants to be friends, maybe we can be friends with benefits '

'I went out to Friday for a drink Thursday evening; made two new friends; a 22-year old pretty woman who's going through a divorce (lucky)' (this one's a verbatim quote, even for Chris viewing a woman going through a divorce as an opportunity seems pretty fucking low, although not really surprising I suppose)

Who knows, maybe after this whole Tomboy phase will go, Chris might style himself as a bona fide pick-up artist. And maybe write a book or two...

 

[King_Scrotus]

I would absolutely love it if Chris got into all that pick up artist shit. If that sort of thing can draw in regular folks, it'll swallow him up quick. I just want to see videos of him like that one skizo who's name I forgot, who ran around a city accosting women until they threatened to call the police.

 

[Iam]

I would absolutely love it if Chris got into all that pick up artist shit. If that sort of thing can draw in regular folks, it'll swallow him up quick. I just want to see videos of him like that one skizo who's name I forgot, who ran around a city accosting women until they threatened to call the police.

Oh, that'd be absolutely priceless. I'd read that book (but would not buy it, Chris is never getting as much as a cent from me until there is one needy person left on this Earth that actually deserves it) for it would be absolutely hilarious.
Just imagine him sharing his pick-up tips he learned from Mia and giving seminars about it. But I'm not too sure I'd like to have him loose in the city trying his amazing pick-up moves on poor innocent women, they do not deserve to be exposed irl to the horror that is Chris.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

I would absolutely love it if Chris got into all that pick up artist shit. If that sort of thing can draw in regular folks, it'll swallow him up quick. I just want to see videos of him like that one skizo who's name I forgot, who ran around a city accosting women until they threatened to call the police.

That's Dan Cilley, he has a thread in lolcow and he's still doing his shit, plus now he shoves stuff up his bum.
Maybe him and Chris are meant for eachother.

 

[timtommy]

Christ, Chris really is obsessed with sex.

'Your boyfriend cheated on you? Maybe you weren't fucking him enough. Anyway, I'm here if you want some comforting '

'If the Wallflower just wants to be friends, maybe we can be friends with benefits '

'I went out to Friday for a drink Thursday evening; made two new friends; a 22-year old pretty woman who's going through a divorce (lucky)' (this one's a verbatim quote, even for Chris viewing a woman going through a divorce as an opportunity seems pretty fucking low, although not really surprising I suppose)

I am not sure if he is particularly obsessed with sex. He just doesn't have any sense of decorum and blurts out his thoughts.

One thing that does amuse me is that he seems to have observed the lesson "if someone is just a platonic friend you shouldn't try to have sex with them", but noone seems to followed up and told him "but you also shouldn't tell them constantly that you aren't trying to have sex with them."

Teaching Chris how to interact with others is like Whack-a-mole. You can tell him not to do things, but only very specific things. And there are way to many ways for him to be awkward or creepy.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Well, at least Chris can be proud that the one thing in his life he did accomplish was murdering the #semicolon.

Judging by how much he shits himself he's lucky to even have as much as a semicolon.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I would absolutely love it if Chris got into all that pick up artist shit. If that sort of thing can draw in regular folks, it'll swallow him up quick. I just want to see videos of him like that one skizo who's name I forgot, who ran around a city accosting women until they threatened to call the police.

From famed transgender, male identified lesbian, female soul Christine Weston Chandler (formerly Christopher, Chirstian, Carlos) comes a little blue book on how to navigate the dating scene while keeping the jerks and trolls off your back.
Finally, a book for autistic men to capture the hearts of all types of women either gay, straight, or bi, entitled "How To Pick Up Chicks And Become One, Yourself: Ballad of an Autistic, Female Soul". Cole Smithey raves, "It was so effective, it even worked on my mother"

Spoiler: Book Cover

 

[introman]

Any funny emails from the Faeryn saga? IIRC, Faeryn and Chris were both similarly match in physical attractiveness. It's funny seeing Chris actually get parity in the dating market and not the usual pining over women who wouldn't give him the time of day. . I know he must of shot some funny, ignominious emails about the date.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Back in the Glory Days of CWC Trolling, did any real life friends know what you guys were up to? Was there anybody to share these emails with?

We shared it with each other over mumble. Personally, I often had a beer in hand.

The world of CWC is like the Matrix. No one can be told about it. You come to it on your own or best not at all.

 

[blastoiseplushie]

Any funny emails from the Faeryn saga? IIRC, Faeryn and Chris were both similarly match in physical attractiveness. It's funny seeing Chris actually get parity in the dating market and not the usual pining over women who wouldn't give him the time of day. . I know he must of shot some funny, ignominious emails about the date.

That was one single IRL date at the local Applebee's, not enough to be called a 'saga.' (Chris had a date with Catie at Applebee's, too, but they had additional correspondence and get-togethers besides that.)

Isn't Faeryn the one he confessed to Kacey about in one of the Kacey phone calls? Telling her he had barely any dates in real life, one recently (with Faeryn) and he told her something along the lines of 'well, (sigh) she wasn't into me.'

ETA: The 'new/old CWC writings' in this thread and the other...yikes. After a deeper look into that disturbed and perverted mind, my sympathy points for him are draining pretty damn fast. I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt, and wasting pity on him.

Seriously, Chris.

 

[Casual Garbage]

The world of CWC is like the Matrix. No one can be told about it. You come to it on your own or best not at all.

The greatest way to describe this forum.

 

[Apocalypso]

The world of CWC is like the Matrix. No one can be told about it. You come to it on your own or best not at all.

The greatest way to describe this forum.

Will you take the brown pill or the greenish-brown pill?

 

[Lysistrata]

Chris is possibly as close to a feral child as it's possible to get without technically being a feral child. It would be easier to pity him if he weren't an arrogant, manipulative (at least, he would be with a few more IQ points) ass who acts like he's a celebrity who deserves to have everything he wants served to him on a platter by lingerie-clad Barb concubines.

 

[Iam]

Will you take the brown pill or the greenish-brown pill?

You take the Navy Pill. It goes down salty, don't you know.

 

[Votan]

UGH!!! gay-rights

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Love this threads!

Pretty classy of Chris trying to justify that guy with the korean hookers. The poor guy just cant get a boner anymore with her, its not his fault...

It takes me back to the Ivy Q&A when he asked her if it was ok for him to frequent strip clubs but Ivy retorted than she could do the same, or that, you know, a threesome could be with two guys instead of two girls, or that Ivy would have something to say about naming their daughter....those very concepts totally blew his mind (Female soul my balls)

Or how insanely jealous he got about Catherine just hanging around with Collin. Despite everybody reassuring about how they were only friends and Collin being a really nice guy. And all of this in a supposedly open relationship.

If by some DC Comics-like reality rebooting event Chris gets on an universe where he has a girlfriend and the chance to fool around, you can easily guess how faithful he would actually be (Or just remember "Vanessa Hudgens")

Probably one of the few times he was aware of his surroundings.

While at the same time expecting a busty woman with a pickle tattoo on her rack to give him 9001$ for destroying his own Ps3.

That's the magic of Chris.

@LoveYouLongTime, as a petition, I was always intrigued for this orangutanesque pics he did for "a new woman in his life"

This was after Jackie was out of the picture and way before Catherine. Maybe you can dig something on those dates (Also, what the fuck are those things he drew on his cheeks? Pickles?)