NewOld Content Part 2 - This is where the rest of this shit goes

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You are giving Borb too much credit. They were two hicks who met in a bar. Bob was drunk and Barb was in heat (and probably also drunk). Chris was most likely an accident.
Why not abort him then if he was an accident? If it was the 1960s or 70s I'd understand, but the 80s were a little more lenient about abortion. But they're Christians from the south so...yeah nevermind.
I mean shit, I'm surprised Barb was still able to conceive, much less carry to full term. Chris is kind of lucky to have been born at all because the odds were stacked against him. Or maybe unlucky, depending on how you see it.
 
@LoveYouLongTime has Chris ever divulged why his parents wanted to have children so late in their life? Mainly asking out of curiosity.
I was doing research for a class and learned that conceiving in old age (mainly if the father is older) has a higher chance of the child developing autism (along with a ton of other genetic abnormalities, but autism stuck out for obvious reasons). Wouldn't be surprised if that was a main factor in Chris developing it since his folks were way past their prime when they conceived him. Like were they just naive and really wanted a kid together? Or was it not well known in the 80s...? Either way it's still pretty abnormal to see a couple in their 50s/60s having a child.

I don't think he has ever brought up this topic to me, but I'm going to make an assumption that he was an accident.
 
Aww, Chris wasn't an accident! He was a gift to the world, bringing laughs and Sonichu and medallions and fun and pony rainbow sunshine all over the world. Admit it.

Think of "It's a Wonderful Life," how the world would be a little sadder and less colorful without CWC in it. :heart-empty:

Sure, his birth was probably unplanned considering his parents' age, especially Bob's. Barb was 40 or 41 when Chris was born, which really isn't THAT old to have a child. It's pretty common to have at least your youngest in your late 30's to early 40's.
 
Why not abort him then if he was an accident? If it was the 1960s or 70s I'd understand, but the 80s were a little more lenient about abortion.
I wonder when Barb realized she was knocked up...Maybe she thought it was just gas.
 
4 years later apparently they can't leave the dogs by themselves or they tear up the house. Or they bring the dogs with them and leave them in the car.

The dogs are BORED.

Bored dogs are destructive dogs. Especially beagles, because they have very high intelligence. Those beagles are the most intelligent things living at 14BC. Another problem with beagles is that they require a lot of intensive exercise, both for their bodies and their minds, or else they get obese and have health problems. They do well at games where they have to figure out problems to be able to get a treat or follow a scent through an obstacle course. They are a Hound, and so have very sensitive noses. They can also have very sensitive skin if they aren't bathed regularly and are given low quality food to eat.

So the tragedy here are there are these two handsome, intelligent dogs who are stuck with two of the laziest people in history in a filthy fire hazard of a house, they never get exercise, they're never properly stimulated, they've never been trained or house broken, they're most likely covered in parasites like fleas and ticks, they're not on a proper diet, they're surrounded by shit and piss from both animals and humans, and they have to suffer the stench of Chris, Barb, and the house in general.

Of all the animals that the Chandlers ignorantly neglect, the dogs are what upset me most. I'm a dog person for one thing, and for another, dogs require much more care than cats. They require more attention, more affection, more exercise, more stimulation, and are much more dependant on their humans. Cats for the most part are low maintenance and independent. Yes they need their human to empty their litter and fill their food and water bowls, but they can go without human attention for a long time. Dogs need daily interaction because they are pack animals. They need that social structure to be happy and healthy. Laying on the couch all day while their human slowly merges with an arm chair is unhealthy for them.
 
Also:
tzbobYt.jpg


Assuming he's too dumb to call it a vest, this is the only denim outerwear he seems to have.

Dancing.gif
IIRC, he cut the arms off of the denim jacket himself to make the gay trucker vest.
 
@LoveYouLongTime has Chris ever divulged why his parents wanted to have children so late in their life? Mainly asking out of curiosity.
I was doing research for a class and learned that conceiving in old age (mainly if the father is older) has a higher chance of the child developing autism (along with a ton of other genetic abnormalities, but autism stuck out for obvious reasons). Wouldn't be surprised if that was a main factor in Chris developing it since his folks were way past their prime when they conceived him. Like were they just naive and really wanted a kid together? Or was it not well known in the 80s...? Either way it's still pretty abnormal to see a couple in their 50s/60s having a child.
Bob probably thought he was shooting blanks at that point and didn't bother to wrap it up.
 
Did Chris ever mention Boy Scouts or why he was banned? It's always seemed strange that they never became part of the conspiracy like his other early bans.
 
Because the Boy Scouts of America were largely founded to combat the "feminization of our young boys who are now being left in the daily company of their sisters and mothers and other female 'influences'" as we moved from a largely agricultural to industrial nation and fathers and older brothers began to "go to the office" and no longer running a farm. And that was BAD So yeah, they were founded as an anti-gay organization. This has been your massive off-topic fact of the day and you have my sincere apologies (but it's true).
 
Did Chris ever mention Boy Scouts or why he was banned? It's always seemed strange that they never became part of the conspiracy like his other early bans.

Probably any number of things; only cared about himself, never spoke or took direction, shat his pants and when they told him to pitch a tent, he probably looked like Patrick trying to build a stable. Or, someone could just ask him why. I'm sure there's a distorted version of events there somewhere.
 
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