NewOld Hoarded Content - Chris' lovely times with his hooker

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Someone in a Tree said:
And he somehow had to tie My Little Pony into getting his cherry popped. Lovely.
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LOL

Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magick
I gave her the missionary
These are all phrases and sentences that should never come from the speech, written or spoken, of a 30 something-year-old autistic male.

This feels like the end of a saga.
 
dannyfrickenp said:
I just like how he thought losing his virginity would solve anything.
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That's the thing. How many times has Chris blamed being "a 20-something year old virgin" for anything and everything that's happened to him? Chris truly thought his life would do a 180 after he had sex.
 
Somebody pointed out that some stuff was missing(because I reuploaded) so I edited my original post with the additional pages. Sorry for any confusion!
 
Mariposa Electrique said:
LOL

Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magick
I gave her the missionary
These are all phrases and sentences that should never come from the speech, written or spoken, of a 30 something-year-old autistic male.

This feels like the end of a saga.
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It just goes to show what has been said more than once, that Chris has the emotional and mental maturity of a child in a man's body. It's like sex is candy to him and when he is around girls he simply cannot help himself from groping them anymore than a kid can help gloating over his favorite lollipop at the candy store.

At the same time he clung to this very childish notion that having sex would somehow elevate his status into adulthood while at the same time keeping all of his kid-traits and toys. A bizarre case of arrested development if there ever was one.
 
I find it creepy he was trying to hang out with his hooker almost like he was trying to turn her into a sweetheart... Maybe that's why she retired
 
TrippinKahlua said:
Itt: HOARDED CONTENT EXISTS, ALWAYS HAS.
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6K3YAGp.jpg
 
He gave the hooker mp3s of Bob hosting his jazz marathon. :(

Also, I'm curious: does Chris really believe that he didn't hit Snyder? Did Barb brainwash him?
 
Holdek said:
He gave the hooker mp3s of Bob hosting his jazz marathon. :(

Also, I'm curious: does Chris really believe that he didn't hit Snyder? Did Barb brainwash him?
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Chris rewrites events in his head. You have to pester him multiple times until he'll finally give the closest account of the truth, but you still have to fill in the lines.
 
LoveYouLongTime said:
Chris rewrites events in his head. You have to pester him multiple times until he'll finally give the closest account of the truth, but you still have to fill in the lines.
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This is very true. He used to use Sonichu to do just that, events that were particularly shameful to him like the whole love sign fiasco or the mall debacle were retconned as Chris overcoming his problems and standing up to all the meanies that were out to get him.
But I wonder if he ends up believing his own version of events.
 
Holdek said:
He gave the hooker mp3s of Bob hosting his jazz marathon. :(

Also, I'm curious: does Chris really believe that he didn't hit Snyder? Did Barb brainwash him?
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The way Chris remembers it, it was something like this:
  • they hit the brakes
  • the van was not moving
  • they heard a thump on their hood
I don't think it's just Barb's brainwashing (although that's a big chunk of it). Adrenaline will really screw with your memories.
Iam said:
This is very true. He used to use Sonichu to do just that, events that were particularly shameful to him like the whole love sign fiasco or the mall debacle were retconned as Chris overcoming his problems and standing up to all the meanies that were out to get him.
But I wonder if he ends up believing his own version of events.
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Chris has a distinction between reality and fantasy. It's not as strong as a normal person's, but it's still there.

Chris doesn't literally believe the Sonichu comics reflect reality.

With the Snyder thing, Chris genuinely does not remember their van hitting Snyder. This sort of thing is pretty common with car accidents, and that's not even counting the influence of Barb's story on Chris' flabby, autistic brain.
 
What do you want to bet Mia tossed the gift basket in the hotel dumpster the moment she was free and clear of Chris's sight? :c:heart-empty:
 
Am I the only one disappointed that the gift basket didn't contain some sort of Sonichu comic, like maybe the first few pages of the spring break issue? At least we now know that a 30 year old man thought that a hooker would give a shit about apples and pez.
 
After reading those emails Chris was really fortunate to find a prostitute that was kind enough to not fuck him over. She could have easily strung him along into giving her gifts and money.
 
Marvin said:
The way Chris remembers it, it was something like this:
  • they hit the brakes
  • the van was not moving
  • they heard a thump on their hood
I don't think it's just Barb's brainwashing (although that's a big chunk of it). Adrenaline will really screw with your memories.

Chris has a distinction between reality and fantasy. It's not as strong as a normal person's, but it's still there.

Chris doesn't literally believe the Sonichu comics reflect reality.

With the Snyder thing, Chris genuinely does not remember their van hitting Snyder. This sort of thing is pretty common with car accidents, and that's not even counting the influence of Barb's story on Chris' flabby, autistic brain.
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I know Chris can tell apart fiction from reality, at least to some extent, my point was that he used to use Sonichu to retell events of his past in a way that made him come across as less pathetic. It's not so much self-delusion, although that may be a part of it, as much as a way of coping with genuinely stressful events in which performed poorly. So instead of running away from the mall cops and acting out, he brings some True And Honest Justice on them. He knows what actually happened but this fictional retconning probably gives him a sense of security and improves his self-image.
 
I'm surprised that Chris doesn't publicly brag about this encounter more. It seems like something he would do even years later.
 
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