Plagued Nice Guys

[Abethedemon]

View attachment 54988

Asshole = any guy who's dating an attractive woman.

That sounds a lot like Classic!Chris's mentality. All males are jerks because they take all of the boyfriend-free-girls

 

[Ravana]

Chris seemed to be ahead of his time in terms of dumb Internet opinions

 

[butt in trouble]

http://www.themodernman.com/blog/55-reasons-why-nice-guys-fail-with-women.html
So I don't know if anyone has seen this but it's a pretty well written article about the "nice guy" phenomenon and why they fail to understand why women don't flock to them. It's interesting because you could directly connect almost all of the points in the article to several lolcows we discuss. Numbers 12 and 22 are especially telling in regards to CWC.

 

[Too Many Crooks]

http://www.themodernman.com/blog/55-reasons-why-nice-guys-fail-with-women.html
So I don't know if anyone has seen this but it's a pretty well written article about the "nice guy" phenomenon and why they fail to understand why women don't flock to them. It's interesting because you could directly connect almost all of the points in the article to several lolcows we discuss. Numbers 12 and 22 are especially telling in regards to CWC.

The article makes a lot of good points and I agree with most of it... but I noticed that the author of that article makes some douchey generalizations, and looks down upon "sensitive, romantic" men for not being confident and masculine enough. Those traits aren't mutually exclusive.

Examples:

1. "What makes a woman feel sexual attraction for a guy is his confidence, masculinity (i.e. alpha male thinking, behavior and actions) and his ability to make her feel feminine and girly during an interaction…NOT his niceness."

2. "In the workplace and in everyday life, women do want the opportunity to be in a position of power. In the corporate world for example, you will see women taking on leadership roles and doing an excellent job with it. However, when it comes to a sexual, romantic relationship a woman wants to be able to relax into the masculine power and direction of a man."

3. "She wants to feel feminine and girly around a guy who is taking the lead and not expecting her to take on the masculine role and lead him."

4.
"Personally speaking, about 40% of the women I’ve had one night stands with have said, “I’ve never done this before” in an attempt to make themselves look innocent. They don’t want me getting the impression that they are easy and that, if we had a relationship and she went out with her girlfriends, she would easily sleep with another guy."

5. "In Hollywood movies, the nice guy character always gets the girl in the end after he saves the day, saves the girl (usually from a bad guy) or saves the world. Despite being nervous, self-doubting and generally a big fat pussy around the woman the entire movie, she eventually falls in love with him and they smile and embrace as the credits roll."

The male character still saved the female character despite these "pussy" traits. That's pretty gutsy, dipshit.

6. "The nice guy just wants people to like him for the soft, insecure, gentle guy that he is."

Again, gentle and "soft" and insecure are not mutually exclusive.

 

[TowinKarz]

I noticed that too, and he could use some work as a writer, to not repeat the exact same phrase. If he had some more work as a writer, he wouldn't repeat the exact same phrase, it gets annoying and dilutes the message when you don't have more work as a writer and repeat the exact same phrase.

That said, he nails almost all the NG pitfalls, "make yourself noticed by being nice" "Every man in the world is a jerk but me" "Hang around her until she gives in" "But that's how it works in anime/films/romance novels" even if he's still got a bit of a nice guy chip on his shoulder that bleeds through.

And confidence is attractive, well, moreso COMPETENCE, to me at least.

I could watch an average person who's good at something do it all day, be it riding a horse, playing a piano, driving a train, putting up a roof, working a backhoe, doesn't matter. If you're GOOD at something, I'll naturally find you more interresting than someone who looks good, but is literally talentless.

 

[2_blank_spaces]

I have my own flavor to add to this shit stew. Just some screen caps and images I've acquired if anyone's interested.

 

[RV 229]

I had a guy pull this shit on me a week after my first break up. (As soon as he realized I was single.) He wouldn't shut up about movies I wasn't interested in, doing some unsolicited favors, and flipped his shit and ranted about nice guys finishing last when I outright told him that I wasn't interested. Luckily for me, he laid off with that shit after I ripped him a new one. He continued with the "w-we can still be friends though, right? Right!?" desperation for a while after though. Couldn't wrap my brain around that one.

Wish I could say more about him, but I barely knew the guy. He mostly just showed up out of the blue.

 

[TowinKarz]

I can only imagine the frustration your average woman feels when an unwanted nice guy tries to come on to her, no matter what she does, she's made to be the bad guy (uh, girl?)

You tell them you aren't interested ... You never gave them a chance!

You give them the token cup of coffee date and then say thanks, but it's not working - YOU LED ME ON! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THE FIRST TIME!!

Goalpost moving.... and they'll deny to the end they're doing it.

 

[2_blank_spaces]

Okay! Took me way too long to figure out things on my new computer but here's some juicy pics. Yes, a few were sent to me personally...

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Bork Laser]

I think this nice guy thing is something every young male goes through after their first rejection. They say all those things like their a nice guy, all other guys are assholes, etc etc. Most guys though can just move past it and realize its a stupid way of thinking. They learn from their mistakes. The problem is are the guys who double down on being a "nice guy" and just keep trying with different women and getting the same results, ending up with the illusion they are the nicest guys in the universe and women just want assholes.

 

[AnOminous]

If you think you're owed sex for basic civility, you are not a nice guy.

 

[2_blank_spaces]

Had a guy tell me I led him on because I ended it after two sessions. Not my fault you showed your red flags, bro.

Don't ever let anyone tell you you're a terrible person for not wanting to have sex anymore, even if it was for a hot second.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I think this nice guy thing is something every young male goes through after their first rejection. They say all those things like their a nice guy, all other guys are assholes, etc etc. Most guys though can just move past it and realize its a stupid way of thinking. They learn from their mistakes. The problem is are the guys who double down on being a "nice guy" and just keep trying with different women and getting the same results, ending up with the illusion they are the nicest guys in the universe and women just want assholes.

Spoiler: powerlevel

When I was 14 I believed in the Nice Guy crap but then when I was 15 I got to know a "JERK" and realized that he was an awesome guy and I moved on with my life

 

[TowinKarz]

Moving on being the key words, a lot of these nice guys still hold high-school level grudges with the world.... not only can they not let go, the rest of us don't even care anymore. You don't get bonus points in life by carrying that chip on your shoulder.

 

[2_blank_spaces]

They try so hard to be mature but they clearly can't go beyond Young Adult Teen and it's sad.

 

[SamTheEagle]

The article makes a lot of good points and I agree with most of it... but I noticed that the author of that article makes some douchey generalizations, and looks down upon "sensitive, romantic" men for not being confident and masculine enough. Those traits aren't mutually exclusive.

I also agreed with some of his points, but saying "alpha male" was a red flag for me. I can't take people seriously when they're labeling themselves and others as alpha or beta. Combine that with all this talk about what "all women" want, how best to attract and pick them up, and generally acting like women are a separate species from men, I get MRA/PUA vibes.

He's got some good points, but I felt like I had to wade through some garbage to get to them.

 

[TowinKarz]

He also uses some actual quoted percents that aren't sourced, that's another red flag, when you get someone saying "x% of the women you date" or "literally 2/3rds of women...." and such since most of the Nice Guys and associates are obsessed with fitting everything into some kind of graded metric. (i.e. 55 distinct points? You could consolidate them into maybe 3 big ones and be a LOT more effective in making your case)

But, he admits himself he "used" to be one of them, it may take a while for that residual crap to wear off, but he's still the least WRONG of the bunch I've seen, I only wonder if he's genuine or he's just saying what he knows would make him receptive, I really want to say the former, I really want to believe SOME of these guys wake up at some point..... nothing productive ever came from self-loathing, and unless you plan on going Eliot Rodger, there has to be an endgame to it, at least make it positive.

 

[SamTheEagle]

It is possible for Nice Guys to wake up. It can take a while, it comes in stages, but it does happen.

Spoiler: Powerleveling

I used to buy into the Nice Guy garbage. Took some life experiences (lot of it not even dating-related) to grow up and realize that women are, shockingly, human beings as well. I've turned down a few girls who've shown interest in me just as girls have turned me down. It's life, that happens. It's okay to feel hurt and it's okay to be angry, but like cuts, you have to treat it and then leave it alone.

This has been another episode of Life Musings With SamTheEagle.
Thank you for watching, and we hope to see you next week. Same time, same channel.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I also agreed with some of his points, but saying "alpha male" was a red flag for me. I can't take people seriously when they're labeling themselves and others as alpha or beta. Combine that with all this talk about what "all women" want, how best to attract and pick them up, and generally acting like women are a separate species from men, I get MRA/PUA vibes.

He's got some good points, but I felt like I had to wade through some garbage to get to them.

If you read to the bottom you will see him trying to sell something also

 

[c-no]

View attachment 54988

Asshole = any guy who's dating an attractive woman.

He shouldn't be too sad. He at least has a stuffed horse to vent his sexual frustrations on.

That sounds a lot like Classic!Chris's mentality. All males are jerks because they take all of the boyfriend-free-girls

It would in terms of not actually doing anything productive for his long-term self (getting a walk from walking his old dog Patti) to giving back to society.