Plagued Nice Guys

Best parts of Kissless Virginity so people don't have to slog through it:



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There, I just saved you like 85% of the cringing you would have done otherwise.

He wrote this text wall of autistic 'musical' inspiration from kissing a trap? Pray to Cthulhu we're spared the sequel should he stick his dick in it; there won't be enough ethanol to kill the memories.
 
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Guy: Hey baby u want sum fuk
Girl: Actually, I'm in the hospital right now. And even if I wasn't, I already have a boyfriend- a boyfriend who's taking care of me- and you're a total creep.
Guy: Wow, typical bitch behavior, always bragging about Chad. Nice guys finish last. Typical.

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Probably all of them. Give a thirsty guy an inch and he'll take a mile.

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SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL

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I'm glad to know that men "friendzone" for only the purest and most thoughtful of reasons, instead of us women, who are doing it because we're cruel, manipulative cunts.

And finally:
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This one's a doozy...

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  • It's from 9gag, of fucking course.
  • 6,919 points
  • Before we go on, I'd like to list five women who died for love: Juliet (especially mind-boggling considering he mentioned Romeo),
    Eponine from Les Mis (who died a bloody death after going to the man she loved so that she could deliver a note telling him where his true love was going), the titular Little Mermaid in Hans Christian Anderson's original story, Joan of Arc (died for her love of God and her country), and every woman who's ever died in childbirth ever (bonus points for the mothers who decide to give birth despite the risk to their own bodies).
  • There is scant evidence of St. Valentine's life and death (to the point where people question he even existed at all), but the most popular legends assert that he either died for marrying couples in secret to prevent the husbands from going to war, or for refusing to worship pagan Roman gods. He definitely didn't die for the love of a woman.
  • Romeo died for lust. Not love. And no, I'm not taking away my Juliet example because I still can't get over the fact that OP mentioned Romeo but not Juliet.
  • Jack died because he was too stupid to find another piece of debris and/or to tell Rose to rearrange herself so they could both fit on the door.
  • Samson died exacting revenge on the Philistines.
  • Hercules died because his wife thought he was cheating on her and so she rubbed a deadly toxin on his cloak, thinking it was a love potion.
  • Achilles was betrayed by both Priam and Polyxena as an attempt to end a war. He didn't even know her.
  • Out of all of the examples, Jesus Christ is the only example who truly did die for love. But it was love for the entirety of humanity, for every person who has lived or will live. And it certainly wasn't romantic love. In fact, Christ's love is always referred to as agape.
  • Oh, and I have another example of women who have died for love: all of the women who have died as a result of domestic violence because they don't want to leave their significant other. Or all of the women who have died protecting their children. A mother's love conquers all, after all.
 
Also, is that comic sans? If so.............
 
This one's a doozy...

u27ft1X.jpg

  • It's from 9gag, of fucking course.
  • 6,919 points
  • Before we go on, I'd like to list five women who died for love: Juliet (especially mind-boggling considering he mentioned Romeo),
    Eponine from Les Mis (who died a bloody death after going to the man she loved so that she could deliver a note telling him where his true love was going), the titular Little Mermaid in Hans Christian Anderson's original story, Joan of Arc (died for her love of God and her country), and every woman who's ever died in childbirth ever (bonus points for the mothers who decide to give birth despite the risk to their own bodies).
  • There is scant evidence of St. Valentine's life and death (to the point where people question he even existed at all), but the most popular legends assert that he either died for marrying couples in secret to prevent the husbands from going to war, or for refusing to worship pagan Roman gods. He definitely didn't die for the love of a woman.
  • Romeo died for lust. Not love. And no, I'm not taking away my Juliet example because I still can't get over the fact that OP mentioned Romeo but not Juliet.
  • Jack died because he was too stupid to find another piece of debris and/or to tell Rose to rearrange herself so they could both fit on the door.
  • Samson died exacting revenge on the Philistines.
  • Hercules died because his wife thought he was cheating on her and so she rubbed a deadly toxin on his cloak, thinking it was a love potion.
  • Achilles was betrayed by both Priam and Polyxena as an attempt to end a war. He didn't even know her.
  • Out of all of the examples, Jesus Christ is the only example who truly did die for love. But it was love for the entirety of humanity, for every person who has lived or will live. And it certainly wasn't romantic love. In fact, Christ's love is always referred to as agape.
  • Oh, and I have another example of women who have died for love: all of the women who have died as a result of domestic violence because they don't want to leave their significant other. Or all of the women who have died protecting their children. A mother's love conquers all, after all.
All the winners for you. That is all.
 
This one's a doozy...

u27ft1X.jpg

  • It's from 9gag, of fucking course.
  • 6,919 points
  • Before we go on, I'd like to list five women who died for love: Juliet (especially mind-boggling considering he mentioned Romeo),
    Eponine from Les Mis (who died a bloody death after going to the man she loved so that she could deliver a note telling him where his true love was going), the titular Little Mermaid in Hans Christian Anderson's original story, Joan of Arc (died for her love of God and her country), and every woman who's ever died in childbirth ever (bonus points for the mothers who decide to give birth despite the risk to their own bodies).
  • There is scant evidence of St. Valentine's life and death (to the point where people question he even existed at all), but the most popular legends assert that he either died for marrying couples in secret to prevent the husbands from going to war, or for refusing to worship pagan Roman gods. He definitely didn't die for the love of a woman.
  • Romeo died for lust. Not love. And no, I'm not taking away my Juliet example because I still can't get over the fact that OP mentioned Romeo but not Juliet.
  • Jack died because he was too stupid to find another piece of debris and/or to tell Rose to rearrange herself so they could both fit on the door.
  • Samson died exacting revenge on the Philistines.
  • Hercules died because his wife thought he was cheating on her and so she rubbed a deadly toxin on his cloak, thinking it was a love potion.
  • Achilles was betrayed by both Priam and Polyxena as an attempt to end a war. He didn't even know her.
  • Out of all of the examples, Jesus Christ is the only example who truly did die for love. But it was love for the entirety of humanity, for every person who has lived or will live. And it certainly wasn't romantic love. In fact, Christ's love is always referred to as agape.
  • Oh, and I have another example of women who have died for love: all of the women who have died as a result of domestic violence because they don't want to leave their significant other. Or all of the women who have died protecting their children. A mother's love conquers all, after all.
If you want to stretch the truth a bit, Achilles did die for love - the love of his deceased boy toy.
 
Samson, seriously? He died because he got hosed by a FUCKING STACEY.

...actually never mind, he is a good martyr for these guys.

Also, nice to know there are guys who think Romeo and Juliet are supposed to be taken seriously as a couple, too.
 
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