Megathread Non-binary genders / Enbies - When Male and Female Aren't Special Enough

[The Great Pancake]

Have any of you guys actually met an enby IRL? If so, what were they like?

I've met two in real life.

Spoiler: My Encounters

The one I met in highschool is DFAB and your run of the mill tumblr user. I actually could not tell you whether or not she was offically nonbinary because she changed her name to a masculine one but she still wore makeup, dresses, etc,. Even her boyfriend called her by "they/them" instead of "he/him." She made a lot of furry art in highschool and she still does now I believe. I'm not sure if she ever creates furry porn but I do know she makes mostly furry art. I was friends with her all throughout highschool despite the gender change, they were quiet and somewhat pushy about their beliefs but a good friend otherwise. I remember one of my other friends asked about the fact she never acted like a dude (she wore make up but he was particularly confused about the fact she still wore dresses) and she shut him down immediately with a "We're not having this conversation." I'm not sure whether or not she struggled with gender dysphoria.

I met another one in university who is DMAB. You wouldn't tell immediately because the only sort of signal you could get from him was a gay vibe (he was flamboyantly bisexual and he admits this), but he admits that he geniunely struggles with gender dysphoria but can't transition due to his severely Christian household and the fact they will most likely pull him out of university if he came out about it. In fact, he desperately hides the fact that he is bisexual from his parents and it's really upsetting. Recently he started wearing makeup and painting his nails (as a girl myself I helped him) and he was geniunely very happy with being at least a bit more feminine. He is nonbinary but doesn't really care about what pronouns you would use for him. He is a very sweet and accepting friend and not too easily offended? He plays Smash Brothers Ultimate and Touhou a lot and sometimes I will play Smash with him. A cool mate.

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

Have any of you guys actually met an enby IRL? If so, what were they like?

Went on a couple of dates with an enby. They were fun and super sweet, it just didn't go anywhere because of some baggage I had, but mostly because they smelled like mothballs.

 

[Local Coyote]

Knew two in college.

One was a friend that was similar to me. Raucous, funny, no stranger to off color humor. Then over the course of one summer she did a complete 180. Changed to a masculine name, somehow acquired arbitrary "triggers" that had no rhyme or reason, and was just generally Tumblr irl and a total bummer to be around. Tried to make everything about gender and preaching about gender. I've always thought something happened to her over that summer that made her flip, just not sure what.

Other one was a classmate with co pronouns. Insufferable cunt of a man that had a huge superiority complex. Obnoxious vegan, majored in religion to dunk on Christians (this was a Christian college) and was Buddhist or something because he went to India once and it changed his life or something. Hated that smug asshole.

 

[Billiam Cipher]

But aren't you literally making up rules (or lack thereof) yourself?

 

[goma]

I don't think I'll ever stop believing the great majority of NB people are just teens and young adults with great insecurities about how they don't measure up to their respective cultural gender role stereotype. It's always soyface femboys and unattractive women who flock to NB identities. You never find hot, mentally stable people who identify as NB.

 

[EndBoss_Karen]

I kind of can understand that you don't really feel like being Male or Female, identify as whatever you want but don't make anything randomly up out of your mind and expect everyone to unconditionally accept it, because not everyone is hopping on this train.

And also, i forgot to add this but, don't go and pull a cancel culture move just because your identity got hurt.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

NB people are just teens and young adults with great insecurities about how they don't measure up to their respective cultural gender role stereotype

I think it is sad that nobody told them it does not matter all that much.

Did not this used to be taught?

 

[NoReturn]

I think it is sad that nobody told them it does not matter all that much.

Did not this used to be taught?

It did. Then we got shit like "Mulan is trans" and all that went out the window as bigoted. You can't be a tomboy because that invalidates the identity of others.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

It did. Then we got shit like "Mulan is trans" and all that went out the window as bigoted. You can't be a tomboy because that invalidates the identity of others.

Why did this happen? And, giving who spreads and touts that, it's almost as if women do not like it when there are freedoms(

 

[Dr. Sexbot]

Enby as a label/antigender/whatever is fine, but only if they have to start from square fucking one with regards to suffrage, property rights, marriage...

 

[Snusmumriken]

I love enbies that declare themselves the Tumblr Arbiters of Gender and Non-Gender just because they want to wear a suit/skirt sometimes. Imagine being bored enough to devote that much time on what your balls and boobs mean, and create a blog telling others that they’re allowed to identify themselves as pan-metric-quadri-fluid.

Literally an enbie in college called me gender confused because I said I was happy being a woman and just as content wearing more masculine clothing on occasion. It’s creepy how much they want to control the very gender identity of everyone around them, and then complain about how their own identity is being controlled by *whispers* men.
Nah bitch, nobody had ever mentioned how I should identify myself ‘til you came along.

 

[The Great Pancake]

gender confused because I said I was happy being a woman and just as content wearing more masculine clothing on occasion

Don't fit into the overly feminine women or overly masculine stereotype? Must not be cis!
It's a very backwards way of thinking. Imagine being so caught up in being progressive that you depend on gender stereotypes to claim to be against "gender conformity" and end up coming off as hilariously hypocrticial.

 

[LtCucumber]

Don't fit into the overly feminine women or overly masculine stereotype? Must not be cis!
It's a very backwards way of thinking. Imagine being so caught up in being progressive that you depend on gender stereotypes to claim to be against "gender conformity" and end up coming off as hilariously hypocrticial.

Not only that but it's hilariously sexist to imply you're anything other than your birth sex because you're gender nonconforming by presentation/appearance, or by actions/personality/mental characteristics

So, you're not a traditionally feminine woman, you don't wear dresses and makeup all the time and have short hair... And you like baseball? YOU'RE NOT A TRUE WOMAN, YOU MUST BE TRANS OR NONBINARY.

oh, what's that? You're not a traditionally masculine man who likes gossip girl, has long hair, wears makeup and skinny jeans sometimes?? YOU MUST BE A WOMAN OR NONBINARY INSTEAD!!

By 2020 standards, Kurt Cobain would be "enby" because he wore skirts and other items of traditionally female clothing every so often. Hell, I've seen people try and act like David Bowie was trans because of his own gender nonconformity/androgynous style... Implying that there's "one" way to be a woman or a man because of the "archaic gender norms" they want to abolish because "clothes have no gender" is some next level mental gymnastics that I'm nowhere near high enough to even begin to understand.

Abolish gender roles because things aren't gendered, or go around calling yourself trans because you don't do things that are expected of your assigned sex. Pick one.

 

[Dave.]

I don't think I'll ever stop believing the great majority of NB people are just teens and young adults with great insecurities about how they don't measure up to their respective cultural gender role stereotype. It's always soyface femboys and unattractive women who flock to NB identities. You never find hot, mentally stable people who identify as NB.

I’ve watched a lot of TikToks involving this topic and the majority I’ve gotten was narcissism and random humor with an extra dose of superiority complex. Not to power level but as someone who does struggle with genuine gender dysphoria it’s kind of offensive because it’s not a game, it’s a world where nothing fits you and you feel like an outcast.

 

[Pond Scum]

Not to power level but as someone who does struggle with genuine gender dysphoria it’s kind of offensive because it’s not a game, it’s a world where nothing fits you and you feel like an outcast.

Incredible, that sounds just like ordinary adolescent angst.

 

[NoReturn]

I’ve watched a lot of TikToks involving this topic and the majority I’ve gotten was narcissism and random humor with an extra dose of superiority complex. Not to power level but as someone who does struggle with genuine gender dysphoria it’s kind of offensive because it’s not a game, it’s a world where nothing fits you and you feel like an outcast.

Explain yourself.

 

[Dave.]

Explain yourself.

I’ve watched a lot of TikToks involving this topic and the majority I’ve gotten was narcissism and random humor with an extra dose of superiority complex. Not to power level but as someone who does struggle with genuine gender dysphoria it’s kind of offensive because it’s not a game, it’s a world where nothing fits you and you feel like an outcast.

Never mind that was a retarded thing to post, my bad.

 

[unclogged]

Incredible, that sounds just like ordinary adolescent angst.

a lot of enbies from what I've seen tend to fall into this category, can only hope some are able to grow out of it lest they become these bitter shells that occupy twitter

 

[LtCucumber]

a lot of enbies from what I've seen tend to fall into this category, can only hope some are able to grow out of it lest they become these bitter shells that occupy twitter

It's teenage angst coupled with the need for attention they never got from their parents.

As I previously stated when talking about the "enby" I know irl, a lot of them don't seem to grasp that they're harming the community they so desperately want to be a part of. Simply by existing as cis people who want to be special and oppressed as a nondysphoric "transmasc lesbian" using "bun/buns" pronouns, they're breeding the very forms of transphobia they (apparently) want to get rid of.

I don't think you're gonna have much luck with stopping people from spreading around that being trans is a choice when you have no gender dysphoria and by claiming to be trans without it, you're insinuating, or in some extreme cases flat out saying, that being trans is a choice.

 

[docuseal]

why won't they take splish's pronouns seriously?????