Now that Chris-Chan's story is coming to a conclusion, who/what should be in the movie about his life?

Netflix will makea Chris Chan film.
Every 2 episodes will cover one troll and they will make chris black.
 
  • Horrifying
Reactions: The Lizard Queen
I think that the safdie brothers could make a really good chris movie. It would look visually incredible and they definitely have the talent to pull it off.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gay001
What about the Wachowskis? They're already troons, so it could be made authentically.
That's an amazing premise! Any story of Chris based in our reality is depressing as fuck, sprinkled with dark humor. Wachowskis have the life experience, philosophical knowledge and general insanity to present the world entirely from Chris's point of view. The sexual degeneracy would be downplayed to avoid alienating the audience, but the altruistic lovequest to bring about Crystal, the savior, will exist as a plot device.

Instead of breaking out of a prison that is a computer simulation and become robot jesus, Chris could break out of the prison of his mind to become an interdimensional cpu jesus.

Chris always knew he was special and something wasn't quite right about this world.
As a precocious child, Chris used to his powers of mind-over-matter to influence Sonic to let him win the sweepstakes.
He gets bonked on the head by a basketball and gets his first glimpse into another dimension. He meets Bionic the Hedgehog, his first spirit guide.
Chris has to do a school assignment. While in a meditative, altered state, Sonichu introduces himself to Chris and never leaves.
As Chris's burgeoning powers grow, he gets on the radar of various evil entities.
The internet proves to be a double-edged sword. Chris, the captain, is able to raise an army of lightworkers but the evil 4-cent trolls also assemble.
The showdown be lifted straight from the comics.
 
What makes you think this is the end?

I do not think Chris will get more than a year, and if that's the case then he will get out.

What happens after that is either he becomes cared for by the state, a bum on the street or the plaything of whatever psychopath will give him a couch to sleep on for "services".

For the third option, see Pamperchu the weirdo paedophile scat ABDL fetishist. On the surface he's a degenerate, but scratch that and he's a degenerate who seems to be a sex slave to a daddy who keeps him plied with opiates. Which is sad, because for all we know without that addiction he may be a normal person and is just doing what he does for the supply of drugs. Chris is similarly vulnerable, and high profile so if the state doesn't protect him he's fucked.
 
Last edited:
I love the idea of writing a screenplay of Christory as a joke, but it makes me curious about the legal landscape around it. Who would own the rights to the Chris story if it was a real production? I know that Tommy Weisseau had some sort of veto power over the Disaster Artist. What sort of things need the subject’s permission to distribute and what things don’t? I know he doesn’t have valid copyrights for anything, but I know there’s some precedence where you still have the rights over your life story in some cases; I just don’t know what that covers
 
Rosie O'Donnell as Chris
This casting is perfect. They look almost identical, and they're both ugly obese uncreative unfunny worthless leftist psychotic pieces of shit.
 
I love the idea of writing a screenplay of Christory as a joke, but it makes me curious about the legal landscape around it. Who would own the rights to the Chris story if it was a real production? I know that Tommy Weisseau had some sort of veto power over the Disaster Artist. What sort of things need the subject’s permission to distribute and what things don’t? I know he doesn’t have valid copyrights for anything, but I know there’s some precedence where you still have the rights over your life story in some cases; I just don’t know what that covers
I think Tommy had some control since it was a movie about his copyrighted movie? That or he was given some control so they could gain access to him for his input, maybe. You can make a movie about a living person without their permission (they may sue if your portaial is defematting) but if you kept the screenplay HONEST and TRUE to Chris Chan, there's nothing he can do about it.
 
Get Pete Davidson to gain 100lbs. He has the right "Something ain't right with their body" look.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
Reactions: RumblyTumbly
Don't know if he's still alive, but you could get that public access retard who had a cooking show and a few talkshows portray Chris. Both will need subtitles throughout the film. His name is Merrill Howard Kalin.

 
  • Feels
Reactions: TurdEthics
Jello Biafra as Chris, he already has The Classic: https://youtu.be/8jeEEwSQZoQ

Uwe is the director because of course he is. Nobody else will touch this shitshow.

LowTax as the Snorlax. Both kind of just lie there out of their minds, mumbling incoherently.

DSP as Cole. Utterly irrelevant but thinks he's a regular guy who tells it like it is.

Finally, Null as Bob. Both tried to make Chris a functioning member of society, both should have pulled out long ago.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LolRaccoon
This thread is retarded but I nominate Tommy Wiseau to play Sonichu.
 
Back