Tell me if I misunderstand what you wrote, but you're saying that when someone accusing you of something that is not you fault and you feel angry about it, it is your "self-hate" at work, and that your shrink suggested this interpretation to you. It does not make a lick of sense -- why not the more straightforward explanation, that you feel angry simply because you're wrongly blamed, and that you suspect being wrongly blamed can have bad consequences for you? Your shrink's interpretation is like telling someone who rightfully and vehemently denies being a thief for secretly wanting to be a thief, citing his denial as "evidence" that he is wrangling with "self-hate".
Anger has a bad press. Surely it is not the most pleasant emotion to have, but it has its places. Anger indicates instances where you have suffered from (or is in danger of experiencing) harm, including harm in status and privilege. Niggers and liberals are shamelessly divesting us, limiting us freedom of speech, education and employment opportunities (affirmative action) and feeding us propaganda. It is natural and healthy to feel angry. But this anger is only healthy when it is directed to the correct source; it becomes maladaptive if it is misdirected or become generalized.
So when your therapist inform you about where your resentment "really" came from, did you feel any better? I suspect No, because he or she is directing your anger to the wrong source.
