Interests OFF TOPIC: OPL - The D&D PC - Group project: Let's make stats for Chris if he had to play himself.

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muh_moobs said:
Chris is a good candidate for hypotonia, though. We've seen him stand for long times in lines and walk around for hours at cons and other events. His legs should be chonkier than they are.

Lifestyle certainly got him where he is, but I don't think he could work his way out quite as easily as most people.
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Fat distribution plays a big role. Most of his weight is in his gut, moobs, and rear; his thighs have surprisingly little fat relative to the rest of his body. And 2-3 days once or twice a year of walking around a convention center isn’t enough to give him tree trunk legs.
 
The Fool said:
you fucking 18th century medical science neanderthals think it's so easy for chris in his current state to just pick up a barbell and start pumping iron like it's a fucking video game. ever think about his diet? his lifestyle? that maybe psychological issues need to be covered before physical ones? no of course not because you all think exercise and physical health are just points to be collected and you have to treat those with less points like an outcast like you're playing fucking fortnite. you're pathetic.
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Iggy quit being such a spaz, you're forcing me to defend the Albertan Autist ffs. Yeah, making fun of Chris for his weight is kinda tired and shitty considering his upbringing and lifestyle. He definitely has some sort of muscular disorder and I don't think he could just hit the gym and become jacked in 6 months.

I was just saying body weight is energy in, energy out. It's not "18th century neanderthal science" or autistic quantification, it's the laws of thermodynamics.
Argh My Cigar said:
There’s truth to this. People are born with varying body types. Ectomorphs are those tall lanklets who can eat twelve rounds of Taco Bell every day and not gain a pound, at the cost of being unable to pack on muscle mass easily. Endomorphs are those short/average height, sometimes stout people who gain weight easily but can build muscle mass just as much (provided exercise/a non-sedentary lifestyle is involved. Ever notice how overweight people have sturdy leg muscles?). Mesomorphs are that genetic sweet spot where you both burn fat and gain muscle mass pretty easily.

Still I don’t think Chris has any particular genetic defects outside of the usual variables most people are born with. His age is probably the major limiting factor that he can’t control— he’s middle aged and definitely can’t lose weight or gain muscle as easily as he could’ve in his 20s.
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Somatotypes are discredited broscience only taken seriously by quacks and 16 year olds on bodybuilding.com. They were originally developed by a psychologist who tried tying personality traits to "body types". Christian Bale's existence would be a medical mystery if it held any water.

I agree with the last paragraph to an extent. At age 37 he's too far gone to make a dramatic change to his awful lifestyle and really have much success with it.
 
Argh My Cigar said:
Fat distribution plays a big role. Most of his weight is in his gut, moobs, and rear; his thighs have surprisingly little fat relative to the rest of his body. And 2-3 days once or twice a year of walking around a convention center isn’t enough to give him tree trunk legs.
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No, but his twigs give the impression that he should need to stop for a break after the vendor hall before going somewhere else which has been reported to not be the case.
 
>See a new thread themed around making Chris into a DnD character.
>Looks interesting, check it out.
>Almost the whole thread is nothing but people screaming at each other about Chris' weight.

Goddammit guys this is why we can't have nice things on this subforum. :(
 
Coelacanth said:
>See a new thread themed around making Chris into a DnD character.
>Looks interesting, check it out.
>Almost the whole thread is nothing but people screaming at each other about Chris' weight.

Goddammit guys this is why we can't have nice things on this subforum. :(
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yeah i agree
also the fool was probably baiting and he succeeded, great job guys
can we get back on topic now? i dont know shit about dnd but i think this is a cute and funny idea
 
8 str works-ish for me, maybe 7, but are we simply assigning stats or doing a point buy? Like are we making a ready to play Chris character?
 
Sammy said:
8 str works-ish for me, maybe 7, but are we simply assigning stats or doing a point buy? Like are we making a ready to play Chris character?
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If we're trying to make an accurate CWC all his stats would be really low. there is plenty of evidence that IRL Chris has low strength (cannot do a single push up or pull up), constitution (he is extremely lazy), dexterity (just watch a video of him dancing), intelligence (just read anything he's ever written), wisdom (all his life decisions up until this point), and charisma (gets banned from everywhere). There is no way to make a balanced Chris character in D&D.
 
Stephanie Bustcakes said:
If we're trying to make an accurate CWC all his stats would be really low. there is plenty of evidence that IRL Chris has low strength (cannot do a single push up or pull up), constitution (he is extremely lazy), dexterity (just watch a video of him dancing), intelligence (just read anything he's ever written), wisdom (all his life decisions up until this point), and charisma (gets banned from everywhere). There is no way to make a balanced Chris character in D&D.
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Honestly I would give him 8s across the board except for wisdom, which would be a 6.
 
To me Chris would be statted as one of those characters new players make where they spend points on everything available but because the points are spread so thinly he doesn't have any proficient skills and his rolls would be really bad on an almost constant level as a result.

I'd also give him a stealth penalty because he has a habit of breaking out in song, loudly stress sighing, or just speaking random words or phrases due to his "random access humor".
 
Stephanie Bustcakes said:
If we're trying to make an accurate CWC all his stats would be really low. there is plenty of evidence that IRL Chris has low strength (cannot do a single push up or pull up), constitution (he is extremely lazy), dexterity (just watch a video of him dancing), intelligence (just read anything he's ever written), wisdom (all his life decisions up until this point), and charisma (gets banned from everywhere). There is no way to make a balanced Chris character in D&D.
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Well, that's my question to OP, are we building a game-ready D&D character with Chris as the inspiration or trying to assign D&D statistics and logic (which for all the attempts at verisimilitude, don't really accurately catalog and simulate real world physics) to what Chris actually is like?

The first idea seems like a fun activity, the second seems more like the most autistic way on Earth to pick on Chris some more.

I think fool was getting at the same question, or just assuming the second option and went about baiting the thread into a down spiral.

If we're just doing this to shit on Chris using 4d6 drop lowest as a means to that ends, then great thread op. If we're making something you could actually play taking inspiration from this weird guy we read about online, then please, continue.

Clarification on intent, @muh_moobs?
 
Sammy said:
Well, that's my question to OP, are we building a game-ready D&D character with Chris as the inspiration or trying to assign D&D statistics and logic (which for all the attempts at verisimilitude, don't really accurately catalog and simulate real world physics) to what Chris actually is like?

The first idea seems like a fun activity, the second seems more like the most autistic way on Earth to pick on Chris some more.

I think fool was getting at the same question, or just assuming the second option and went about baiting the thread into a down spiral.

If we're just doing this to shit on Chris using 4d6 drop lowest as a means to that ends, then great thread op. If we're making something you could actually play taking inspiration from this weird guy we read about online, then please, continue.

Clarification on intent, @muh_moobs?
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I honestly think Chris would be more fun of a character to play in Call of Cthulhu. Especially pre Tom Boy Chris.

It would be more interesting to see a Chris inspired character in dnd than actual stats for Chris. Actual Chris in dnd would be kinda boring. A Chris inspired and zany pc would be more interesting.
 
CatParty said:
Chris would be a shit monster probably
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The Hill Giant approaches the hero Christopher Christian Ricardo Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu CPU Blueheart... the hero hath soiled his pantaloons! The Hill Giant flees in disgust!
 
I made a lvl 1 celestial warlock based on Chris cause I’m bored.

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