Interests OFF TOPIC: OPL - The D&D PC - Group project: Let's make stats for Chris if he had to play himself.

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muh_moobs said:
I'd give him a CON of 13.
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I'd go even higher. Even though it's difficult to gauge Chris' tolerance to physical pain due to him never getting in an actual fight, this man did slice open his own taint and even stretched the wound afterwards. I doubt most users here could do that even if they were promised a few thousand dollars along with their medical expenses covered for the stunt.
 
Incognito Mode said:
I'd go even higher. Even though it's difficult to gauge Chris' tolerance to physical pain due to him never getting in an actual fight, this man did slice open his own taint and even stretched the wound afterwards. I doubt most users here could do that even if they were promised a few thousand dollars along with their medical expenses covered for the stunt.
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Eh, stretching his wound could be explained away if he cut some nerves.

But what about that video of him stomping the shit out of LEGOs?
 
It just sad coming up with stats for older people. The constitution go down as we age. I did one of these for "classic chris" with the idea that he qualifies as a different character, although it was more for a different setting where typical DnD rules don't apply. I was pretty mean in the physical stats, even if adjusting for different standards. I hypothesize that WISDOM is the lowest trait at any stage of his life, and a mage chris would be interesting in a universe where low wisdom meant more power.

The one thing I don't see mention is CWC's initiative. Most people don't have anything a BIG as sonichu, in any sense of the word. This is where I think DnD fails him the most. Its most related DnD stat is CHR.

NeverHappened said:
Classic Chris Chan
STR 6
DEX 5
CON 5
AUTism 17 (Negatively correlated with wisdom)
FIXation 16 (positively correlated with intelligence)
SOCial pull 18 (positively correlative with CHR).

Tainted Christine Chan
STR 5
DEX 5
CON 4
AUT 18
FIX 11
SOC 13
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Classic Chris Chan
STR 9
DEX 11
CON 14
WIS 5
INT 14
CHR 8

Tainted Christine Chan
STR 8
DEX 10
CON 12
WIS 7
INT 13
CHR 6

I forget where this is from, but
Broadly speaking, one can assume that any wizard you meet suffers from at least some form of autism, in one way or the other. This rule is not absolute, but there is a very good reason why it holds true; the laws of magic are such that the very specific mindset of an autistic person has a much easier time grasping them. To some, magic is an art, or form of expression, to others, it's just a science, but for whatever reason, autistic individuals have an easier time manipulating the arcane. This, of course, is not the only way to attain magical mastery, but it is among the easiest.
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Fear not: Ranger, Barbarian, Magician, Thief, Cavalier, Acrobat, and... weird ass Cleric Ranger
 
NeverHappened said:
It just sad coming up with stats for older people. The constitution go down as we age. I did one of these for "classic chris" with the idea that he qualifies as a different character, although it was more for a different setting where typical DnD rules don't apply. I was pretty mean in the physical stats, even if adjusting for different standards. I hypothesize that WISDOM is the lowest trait at any stage of his life, and a mage chris would be interesting in a universe where low wisdom meant more power.


Classic Chris Chan
STR 9
DEX 11
CON 14
WIS 5
INT 14
CHR 8

Tainted Christine Chan
STR 8
DEX 10
CON 12
WIS 7
INT 13
CHR 6
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How the hell did his WIS go up 2 points, considering how much less attached to reality he is? WIS is the hardest mental stat to quantify, but it's basically your mental defense, how willful you are, how much you pick up on details, and how grounded you are in reality. The higher your WIS, the easier it is for you to spot things that are out of place or shrug off mental assaults.

Chris has absolutely lost WIS as he aged. While his mental state was never amazing, his rapid decline from 2017 onward is not something where he would outright GAIN WIS. He used to be a gullible, naive idiot. Now he's firmly convinced he's married to a Pokemon and three Sonichus, thinks he is a deity in contact with other planes of reality, and has no comprehension of the divide between reality and fiction. Here's my statblock for him, assuming 5E, no class features.


Classic Chris
STR: 8 - Weak and out of shape.
DEX: 9 - A little bit slower and clumsier than average
CON: 14 - Surprisingly tough, considering his environment
INT: 10 - Actually not incredibly stupid. Just lazy and egotistical
WIS: 7 - Gullible, naive.
CHA: 8 - Cannot effectively socialize


Current Chris:
STR: 6 - Has gotten weaker and fatter with time
DEX: 8 - Slower, less able to respond to things
CON: 13 - Has a high pain tolerance, does not get sick often (considering environment, diet.). Age will take this soon.
INT: 9 - Has probably gotten dumber over time.
WIS: 4 - Any attachment with reality he had is long gone. Incapable of distinguishing reality from fantasy, and his ideas from the ideas of others.
CHA: 8 - Has managed to somehow leverage infamy into profit. Still incapable of socializing.
 
The Fool said:
chris was born to a post-menopausal woman with terrible genes and never get exercise. his body produces more estrogen than normal and probably has more genetic defects than the average person, it literally isn't his fault he's slightly overweight. you're all nothing but a bunch of snooty little manchildren who just looks for the easiest most obvious target on someone and goes hog-wild while never actually analyzing someone enough to offer constructive criticism of their lifestyles. it's fucking amazing i even log in to this shitty website anymore, i may as well browse reddit.
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This is the funniest post I've ever read
 
Dr W said:
CHA: 8 - Has managed to somehow leverage infamy into profit. Still incapable of socializing.
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Oh MY GOD. HOW COULD YOU Assign subjECTIVE NumberS diFFERENTLY THAN Me!!!!. ARE YOU kidding??!

So, here I was thinking his tugboat was his main source of "profit." He is making less of an impact on the world by the day. This is an abstract I consider mostly related to CHR, less Classic Chris's power is due to INT or WIS.
 
As he has aged he's gotten way more social. I mean he's not perfect and doesn't understand social cues but he's no longer chasing after girls, the attraction sign is long gone, he's popped up at conventions and he has managed to get several people to white knight for him. He convinces people to buy from him even though everyone should know he won't follow through. I know compared to the average person his charisma seems low but he is influential I mean he is able to talk to and get acknowledge by YouTubers bigger than him and Sonichu was even name-dropped as a joke question during a sonic movie interview. Hell, there are forums like the kiwi farms where people spend hours of their life talking about this guy. Out of all the spergs on the net, he is still the most discussed and frankly I consider that charismatic. I think the issue is that his charisma is passive and not active, when he tries to be charismatic it fails but when he is being himself people are interested.

I'd give past Chris a charisma of 14 and current Chris a charisma of 16-18 the only stipulation is that he can not directly influence people. If he tries to actively use his charisma he gets a penalty of 8, 10 if it has to do with anything money/love/merge related.
 
The bards guild have gathered around a crackling fireplace in the Inn where your adventure begins. The scent of roasted meats glazed in honey and pepper fill the air and travellers drink merilly.

You approach the bards with your medallion of sonichu* and a songbook. They place their lutes and pipes down as you declare your ability as a singer and a weaver of songs. (Roll for persuasion, DC 12). If successfully persuaded the bards will be subject to a rendition of 'yellow is a mellow color', paying two gold pieces for you to leave and sing elsewhere.

*this medallion has the unique ability to attract nearby autistes who may be persuaded into funding your adventure or providing support otherwise.
 
Dr W said:
How the hell did his WIS go up 2 points, considering how much less attached to reality he is? WIS is the hardest mental stat to quantify, but it's basically your mental defense, how willful you are, how much you pick up on details, and how grounded you are in reality. The higher your WIS, the easier it is for you to spot things that are out of place or shrug off mental assaults.

Chris has absolutely lost WIS as he aged. While his mental state was never amazing, his rapid decline from 2017 onward is not something where he would outright GAIN WIS. He used to be a gullible, naive idiot. Now he's firmly convinced he's married to a Pokemon and three Sonichus, thinks he is a deity in contact with other planes of reality, and has no comprehension of the divide between reality and fiction. Here's my statblock for him, assuming 5E, no class features.


Classic Chris
STR: 8 - Weak and out of shape.
DEX: 9 - A little bit slower and clumsier than average
CON: 14 - Surprisingly tough, considering his environment
INT: 10 - Actually not incredibly stupid. Just lazy and egotistical
WIS: 7 - Gullible, naive.
CHA: 8 - Cannot effectively socialize


Current Chris:
STR: 6 - Has gotten weaker and fatter with time
DEX: 8 - Slower, less able to respond to things
CON: 13 - Has a high pain tolerance, does not get sick often (considering environment, diet.). Age will take this soon.
INT: 9 - Has probably gotten dumber over time.
WIS: 4 - Any attachment with reality he had is long gone. Incapable of distinguishing reality from fantasy, and his ideas from the ideas of others.
CHA: 8 - Has managed to somehow leverage infamy into profit. Still incapable of socializing.
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That's actually pretty in depth with good reasoning
 
Any discussion of CHR INT and WIS starts feeling like a Myers-Brigg discussion. We would have been better making up new stats for our purposes. A sorcerer based on Creatively.

When breaking CWC down into these components to be a character to move about the world: Below average, but doesn't die when average people die. It's rather boring. Even outside of a realistic world, he's a mediocre, not horrible, everything(assuming class prerequisites). And the 40 year old version is even move depressing.
 
Forgot to come back to this. I've set his CON at 14.

Moving on to intelligence, the opening bid is 12. This gives him one bonus language. His failures with Spanish were due to laziness and egotism not a lack of ability. Before he went totally insane he could have been reasonably competent. Had he not been fed a bunch of bullshit his entire life telling him that he was well above average and then surrounded by lackluster teachers willing to just pass him along I really do believe he could have found an avenue to be successful.

I'll also submit his website building. Late 90's/early 00's you still had to be reasonably capable to get html generators to work out.

Remember, Intelligence is scholarly capacity or book learning. Common sense and other things like color coordination fall into wisdom within D&D terms. The bulk of Chris' deficiency stems from his inability to successfully interface with the world around him.
 
Dr W said:
How the hell did his WIS go up 2 points, considering how much less attached to reality he is? WIS is the hardest mental stat to quantify, but it's basically your mental defense, how willful you are, how much you pick up on details, and how grounded you are in reality. The higher your WIS, the easier it is for you to spot things that are out of place or shrug off mental assaults.

Chris has absolutely lost WIS as he aged. While his mental state was never amazing, his rapid decline from 2017 onward is not something where he would outright GAIN WIS. He used to be a gullible, naive idiot. Now he's firmly convinced he's married to a Pokemon and three Sonichus, thinks he is a deity in contact with other planes of reality, and has no comprehension of the divide between reality and fiction. Here's my statblock for him, assuming 5E, no class features.


Classic Chris
STR: 8 - Weak and out of shape.
DEX: 9 - A little bit slower and clumsier than average
CON: 14 - Surprisingly tough, considering his environment
INT: 10 - Actually not incredibly stupid. Just lazy and egotistical
WIS: 7 - Gullible, naive.
CHA: 8 - Cannot effectively socialize


Current Chris:
STR: 6 - Has gotten weaker and fatter with time
DEX: 8 - Slower, less able to respond to things
CON: 13 - Has a high pain tolerance, does not get sick often (considering environment, diet.). Age will take this soon.
INT: 9 - Has probably gotten dumber over time.
WIS: 4 - Any attachment with reality he had is long gone. Incapable of distinguishing reality from fantasy, and his ideas from the ideas of others.
CHA: 8 - Has managed to somehow leverage infamy into profit. Still incapable of socializing.
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I think his CHA should go up between the two sheets. He’s not more appealing now, but he’s a lot more outgoing. Plus CHA also encompasses stuff like lying and manipulation, and old Chris didn’t get free game systems from random orbiters. Basically where old Chris was withdrawn and unobtrusive, new Chris is shameless and ostentatious. Sure, a cross dressing doomsday prophet draped in Mardi Gras beads might get attention for all the wrong reasons, but he does get attention.
 
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