Money OFFICIAL Chris Speculation Thread - PS4 Edition

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Lots of people are blowing this all out of proportion... Chris most likely bought himself a PS4 using his tugboat.

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that some idiot did buy it for him. At the end of the day, who would you rather be:

1. Yourself

2. A morbidly obese, rapidly balding autist with a bent penis who shits himself, lives at home with his Mommy, and has no friends, no job, and absolutely no hope of ever having a meaningful romantic relationship or an otherwise satisfying life, but does get PS4s from idiots on the internet

That shouldn't be a tough call.

Frankly, if I wanted a PS4, I'd just go buy one with money I earned from my job. And the fact that I can do so instead of having to resort to e-begging just reinforces the notion that people can buy all the PS4s and other stupid shit that they want to for Chris, I'd still rather not be him.
 
I called this 'he'll buy it for himself and say a fan sent it' shit like a week ago but buggered if I can find the post, either way who gives a fuck, not my money.
Wait no I mean die Chris dox the children down with null this matters for some reason.
 
HumanBeanbag said:
He said in the video that he already bought himself the camera. Which is kinda a strange move if he was ebegging for it before.

One thing I am questioning is the blue controller. Can you get consoles bundled with coloured controllers? Did someone buy him a PS4 and then swap-out the standard black controller for a blue one? Does Chris have both the standard black controller and an extra blue controller for all the co-op games he plans to play?

Did he get them both second hand from a trade in-store and claim to have been sent it by a porn star? (Yes). Somewhere out there is the standard black controller that PS4 shipped with.
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The blue controller seems to only be sold separately and not in any bundles. Which means that either the console was used (doubtful or he'd probably complain about that if it really was sent by an actual person), or Kagney/Chris bought the blue controller on its own in addition to the system.
 
Do we really need to start an internal witch hunt here? If it was someone other than Chris who bought a PS4 for Chris, chances are it wasn't someone from here. We have our share of unfunny weens who to to this day refuse to get the fucking hint that this is a site for passive observance, as opposed to epic chon raids against low-teir trolling targets, but it would take a whole lot more effort than it's worth to buy Chris a new console simply because.

Remember that @DStecks was never one of us, and only had an account here to gauge our reaction to his shenanigans. This was a person so desperate for fresh Chris content that he offered a little bit of daddy's trust fund to see it happen. I don't think it ever occurred to him that there's a lot more fresh Chris content despite a lack of new pages of Sonichu.

There's also the fact that there are possibly thousands of people who have heard of Chris-chan, that also aren't members here, who continue attempts to fuck with Chris because he's seemingly the initiation target to gain entry to the great pantheon of ebin trolling.

Chris getting a PS4 was not a matter of "if", but a matter of "when". Trying to sift through the Kiwi Farms userbase for an answer is a waste of time, effort, and sanity.
 
What kind of name is kagney anyways?

Maybe this person is a true and honest fan who legitimately loves sonichu merch.

I'm hyped for more content, dunno about you guys... And the spergery from some of us kiwis is beautifully :autism:
 
creamyfanta said:
What kind of name is kagney anyways?
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Chris has always struggled with discerning the difference between real names and made-up gibberish. When he tried to come up with a female version of "Simon," he settled on "Simonla."

So to answer your question, Kagney is that kind of name.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
Ooh, let's all join OP in his righteous hunt to dox whoever sent Chris money. Curse null and the admins for not putting user private info out for every internet detective to pour over.

Chris bought the console himself and pretended a porn star sent it to him. that's it.
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Look at how much sense this man is making. Look and learn.
 
So you guys think that in order to get a PS4, someone must "deserve" it?
It's a fucking videogame, you whiny bitches. If you want to have one so much, work and buy it. Not that hard.
 
If he made the name up to cover up that he bought it he would have been acting differently and would have gotten himself the white one.

Someone definitely bought him this, and he is very happy about it.

Tbh i am too. The person trolled the weens really hard, especially the try hards like @yawning sneasel
 
Wally Balljacker said:
Remember that @DStecks was never one of us, and only had an account here to gauge our reaction to his shenanigans. This was a person so desperate for fresh Chris content that he offered a little bit of daddy's trust fund to see it happen. I don't think it ever occurred to him that there's a lot more fresh Chris content despite a lack of new pages of Sonichu..
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While I most definitely agree that giving Chris a $1000 for Sonichu 11 and then expecting him to hold his side of the bargain was a questionable decision financially, I think that DStecks is also getting shat on more than he deserves. I haven't personally watched a lot of the Sonichu reviews, but they were still enjoyed by many, and while you're saying he was never one of "us" because he supposedly came here just to plug his reviews, well..... I still consider him a very integral part of the Chris-watching community and his reviews have made a lot of people laugh, which is the important part.

Chris is working on new Sonichu pages very slowly, but even the content that hasn't surfaced, has inspired technically Chris content by virtue of him being interviewed about it and detailing plotlines for the new Sonichu pages. Chris not getting off his lazy ass and not fulfilling the request is not DStecks' fault, it's Chris' fault and while other content has happened to coincide at the same time, I don't see any harm in giving him money for the Sonichu 11 comic.

Aside from that's I fully agree with the rest of your post.
 
i gotta admit i figured most of you were either poor or underaged. i mean, dstecks was giving away his patreon money so his big gesture wasn't as impressive as people made it out to be.

one of you motherfuckers is either loaded or crazy. in either case, pm me if you're interested in buying a couple bridges on the east coast.
 
I mean it was dumb to send him a ps4 if that's what happened, but I'm not losing my shit or any sleep over it. If that is what happened, "lol ebin trolling JULAAAAAAAY". But I'm firmly in the camp that says he bought it himself. It does occur to me however that Jeff/Francine was supposed to be from Seattle and so is this Kagney Lynn Moore.
 
lol, this is some hardcore autism. locking
WeedFaggot024 said:
See the problem with this is Chris doesn't act like anyone else, If it was anyone else they'd probably have some guilt about not delivering but chris gives no fucks and will happily take the money for those pages and not produce them.
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I think Chris genuinely intends to fulfill his side of the deal with @DStecks. Chris just works on Chris time, which means never. But Chris is retarded and doesn't realize this. (Well, plus, @DStecks didn't specify any timeframe, so Chris is pretty solidly in the clear if he just postpones working on the pages indefinitely.)

Edit:

This thread:
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