No shot is that true. The amount of shame and disgust women get heaped on them by society for being a degenerate fetish coomer is an order of magnitude more than any shaming they might get for being a boring vanilla starfish. The sad truth is that you're gonna get shamed and browbeaten by society for your taste and choices as a woman no matter what they are, because society feels entitled to tell women how they should think and act and live at a level they would never feel comfortable doing to men, and it's always hard not to feel like your own personal tastes and proclivities are the ones under the most assault, but you're straight-up living on another planet if you think being a BDSM coomer doesn't invite far, far more scorn and shaming and belittling from men than it avoids.
If we're talking about women reluctantly going along with their man's fetishes because they don't want to disappoint him or get called cold fish or pillow princesses, yeah, I'd agree with you. A lot of women do that. But women who ask every man they hook up with to strangle them, or write hundreds of rape fanfictions and upload them on the internet, or buy their own dog leash and show it off on twitter while relentlessly pestering their embarrassed boyfriend into tweeting about cuckqueaning them, they're just women who have degenerate fetishes. Whether or not it's healthy or pornsickness or some kind of trauma processing is a whole other debate to have, but I think it's patronising to assume they're not genuine.