Hello, I'm back once again after this
post.
First of all, I want to thank everyone who kindly replied and messaged me the past week, I truly am grateful for all the encouragement I received from everyone. It really warms my heart in amidst of all this mess.
I want to admit that I, too, ignored a quite number of red flags he displayed in the past years, brushing it off as difference in our culture and upbringing. I thought I was being open minded and accomodating not knowing that I should've opened a deeper conversation regarding what I want if I were to deepen our relationship. Many people kindly gave me praises in my previous post but I feel rather undeserving to receive them because I also did so many stupid things that got me here.
Okay, now, to the real update. Last night I had a dinner with him alongside with my father after much thought and input I received from redditors, friends and family. Long story short, he still didn't want to end our relationship, he apologized, saying he misspoke and wanted to fix his mistake. He said it was because he was "too comfortable" with me since I'm not a confrontational person and I did help quite a lot with his chores (bringing side dishes, help clean up his place every now and then, etc), so he thought I'll always be accomodating what he wants. I also apologized that I've never really brought this kind of topic seriously and not making sure we were on a same page whenever we did discuss this type of topic. He agreed that I should've told him before because that way it would never got to this point and then keep bringing up my bad communication. I know it's my fault too but it didn't feel good at all hearing that from him.
Even if he had admitted his faults and never spoke badly to me before except for that one time, I still can't shake off my distrust of him. I don't know why but what happened last week is like an instant feeling repellant. So, I returned the ring he gave and told him I'll return more than half of the amount we used to buy our house. He initially refused the money, saying he wants to keep trying to win back my trust and me to keep in contact with him but this morning he said I can transfer his money because marriage is not really happening
now and tried to prevent me to sell the house nor tell our mutual friends that marriage is off the table...
So, I just updated almost all of my groupchats that now I'm single and here to tell everyone I'm single because my now ex fiance got a red flag so big, China would be crying with envy.
I feel like an asshole to be honest because it seems like my feeling for him was that shallow all along but maybe reality hasn't hit me yet but that's that.