- Joined
- Nov 22, 2019
I never understood that. At fucking all.Every warning, intervention, or dressing down they gave us involved some variant of "you have all the time in the world to find someone" or even better "if this is really The One, you'll get back together eventually" or "you need to live a little and get more experience"
If you find "The One", why the fuck would you need to go out of your way to 'experience' other people (which mostly just means having sex)?
Why should you wait to get engaged/married if you're sure that's the one and you're sure you know the person you're dating and you can imagine spending the rest of your life with them?
My partner and me got a ton of shit for this as well, that's why this is enraging me so much.
We started dating in 2008, talked about marriage (just the whole 'do you ever want to get married?' talk, no actual plans, y'know) around two years later, got married in 2015. So we've been dating 7 years, talked everything through, knew each other like the back of our hands, and yet people still gave us shit. Hell, this is the first time I'm ever telling this to someone but we even talked about the "Hey, what if we get married and find out a few years later that we're just not compatible?" scenario. Maybe we're weird and autistic, but this just felt so much better to me than just being all lovey-dovey-nuffin'-can-ruin-this and then falling flat on my face.
Yet, people still gave us shit.
Well, mostly him.
Someone asked him (while I was bloody sitting next to him) "Are you sure you want to settle on one woman for the rest of your life this early? Don't you want to go out and have some fun first?"
My own parents (especially my dad) were like "Isn't this too early to settle? What if you both regret it? Doesn't he still want to enjoy life a little before settling?"
Like, people need to stop projecting their failed attempts at relationships/marriage - and their absolute bloody inability to recognise red flags and/or stay faithful - onto other people. I never felt like being married restricted anything in my life, I never felt like I've missed out on anything - most of the 'experiences' people talk about are so futile and just quick dopamine-hits that just aren't worth the hassle; to me at least. If that's how someone wants to live their life - go ahead. But leave me the fuck alone with that shit, especially if I didn't even ask for an opinion.
Why should you wait to get engaged/married if you're sure that's the one and you're sure you know the person you're dating and you can imagine spending the rest of your life with them?
My partner and me got a ton of shit for this as well, that's why this is enraging me so much.
We started dating in 2008, talked about marriage (just the whole 'do you ever want to get married?' talk, no actual plans, y'know) around two years later, got married in 2015. So we've been dating 7 years, talked everything through, knew each other like the back of our hands, and yet people still gave us shit. Hell, this is the first time I'm ever telling this to someone but we even talked about the "Hey, what if we get married and find out a few years later that we're just not compatible?" scenario. Maybe we're weird and autistic, but this just felt so much better to me than just being all lovey-dovey-nuffin'-can-ruin-this and then falling flat on my face.
Yet, people still gave us shit.
Well, mostly him.
Someone asked him (while I was bloody sitting next to him) "Are you sure you want to settle on one woman for the rest of your life this early? Don't you want to go out and have some fun first?"
My own parents (especially my dad) were like "Isn't this too early to settle? What if you both regret it? Doesn't he still want to enjoy life a little before settling?"
Like, people need to stop projecting their failed attempts at relationships/marriage - and their absolute bloody inability to recognise red flags and/or stay faithful - onto other people. I never felt like being married restricted anything in my life, I never felt like I've missed out on anything - most of the 'experiences' people talk about are so futile and just quick dopamine-hits that just aren't worth the hassle; to me at least. If that's how someone wants to live their life - go ahead. But leave me the fuck alone with that shit, especially if I didn't even ask for an opinion.