Official Kiwifarms Uplifting Each Other Thread - Support group for women

[missnaptime]

Happy new year kiwisisters!! I hope you all have an amazing year full of joy and you get closer to where you want to be and what you want to achieve!!

 

[Bojack Horsekin]

The biggest red flag is that he gave you his debit card and other gifts? He was literally trying to purchase sex from you. Don't treat him like your friendly exes, block him and ignore. You sound cool and deserve way better.

Happy new year too, may 2025 be kinder to all of us.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Hey kiwisisters, I need some advice as I'm not sure what to think or what to do about this specific situation.

Remove him from all group chats and friends' lists and do not speak to him again. If he wasn't visiting to get laid then he was visiting to kindle a romantic relationship, but he was too cowardly to be honest about his intentions and then got mad when you didn't behave the way he wanted. He's childish and a weenie and that will not change. I have made the mistake of entertaining men like this and it never ends well. Get out the broom.

 

[Right Butt Cheek]

Thank you all for the advice, it really did make me feel a lot better about this whole situation and I am happy to announce he's removed from everything. I couldn't have done it without you Kiwisisters.

Happy New Year, lets be hot badass women this year.

 

[Spooky all year]

Thank you all for the advice, it really did make me feel a lot better about this whole situation and I am happy to announce he's removed from everything. I couldn't have done it without you Kiwisisters.

I didn't get to chime in, but reading back that guy sounded like a total douchenozzle. Good on you for getting rid of him entirely! That really is probably the smartest course of action.

Having said that - do any of you galls have any tips on trying to get over an ex? My ex broke up with me in a super dickish way about 4 months ago but over Christmas we had one last very shitty exchange and that really just moved him to the forefront of my mind again. I'm at the point where I'm super done with myself over this shit, so if anybody has any advice, much obliged for your efforts.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

The festering asshole I call(ed) a boyfriend ignored my birthday so I bought myself some beautiful flowers and took myself out for a nice birthday dinner.

But the very best part of the story is this asshole's excuse: he forgot. (Right: his birthday is two days after mine, so pressing X to doubt.) Like that somehow makes it OK. We had been dating for a year.

My positive message is fuck that guy bc I deserve better. We all do.

 

[Red flag]

The festering asshole I call(ed) a boyfriend ignored my birthday so I bought myself some beautiful flowers and took myself out for a nice birthday dinner.

But the very best part of the story is this asshole's excuse: he forgot. (Right: his birthday is two days after mine, so pressing X to doubt.) Like that somehow makes it OK. We had been dating for a year.

My positive message is fuck that guy bc I deserve better. We all do.

If that's the effort he's willing to put in only one year in when most people are on their best behaviour, expect him to "forget" everything for the rest of your life.

Good riddance.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

Hilariously, the ex husband whom I divorced primarily because of his low-effort bullshit not only remembered but also gave me a completely unexpected gift of something that I’ve been needing. When the ex husband does the birthday better than you, you done fucked up as a boyfriend. The only thing I’m sad about at this point is the prospect of finding a new guy, because my town is a “the odds are good, but the goods are odd” kind of place.

 

[Kiwisee]

All the beauty parlor regulars are hotter than everyone else on the board. They hate us, cause they ain’t us.

 

[missnaptime]

just checking in and wishing everyone an awesome day

 

[mounki]

Hope everyone is doing well. I've been taking steps towards improvement this year!!! which means finally not ignoring issues! Because I deserve to live a good life! or something

Turns out I qualify for disability and should have been looking into it. Im nervous about this for the following-

stigma - I know people that have admitted they milk the system and abuse it for their own gain; I worry I will be seen as a liar or not needing the help.

DEI is going away so i don't think people will hire me if they fund out I have a condition that makes working a full time job difficult. I can just not tell them that i have a condition, - thats what ive always done when i get to the questionnares... brcause i thought being disabled would keep you from employment. I am used to working full time but I have to accept it may not be possible right now

I know these resources are meant for people that need it but I don't feel like I deserve it or should take it.

please advise saars

any kiwis on the tugboat? it's not... going to haunt me somehow? Is it me or is it really hard to find a decent doctor? I feel disgruntled by it all honestly

 

[Dawdler]

Your personal medical history is personal. If you qualify for aid, take it. You shouldn't even worry this much about it because it may be just denied in the first place.

Is it me or is it really hard to find a decent doctor?

It's impossible.

 

[Mandy Stroyer]

I know these resources are meant for people that need it but I don't feel like I deserve it or should take it.

The government is not good at deciding what people deserve or need, and there are people who are exaggerating or faking to game the system. I'm sure they don't feel stigmatized when they definitely should. There's no shame in taking advantage of an opportunity being offered to you when you meet the requirements.

Is it me or is it really hard to find a decent doctor? I feel disgruntled by it all honestly

It is extremely hard, especially for chronic conditions. Medicaid is also a bitch to deal with and I do not recommend it if you have the option to avoid it.

 

[Quarter Pounder]

I know these resources are meant for people that need it but I don't feel like I deserve it or should take it.

Repeating what’s already been said: if you qualify for it, take it. There are people scamming it, and there are people who need to be on it who can’t advocate enough for themselves to get it. The government doesn’t care.

And no, do not say anything about your disability to any potential employers (or people you work with). A lot of people with invisible disabilities never did to begin with, because that’s just asking your employer to find a reason to get rid of you. The only difference now that there’s no DEI is that your employer doesn’t have to get creative in finding a reason to terminate your employment and replace you with something cheaper.

Is it me or is it really hard to find a decent doctor? I feel disgruntled by it all honestly

It’s difficult to find a decent doctor even for common issues. It’s almost impossible if you have a rarer condition.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

Should I actually apply for a job again? I tried doing one near her. Got far into an interview but then didn't get it. I don't know if I should apply for another job.

 

[Thé au lait]

>Words

>Official Kiwifarms Uplifting Each Other Thread - Support group for women
>for women
Congratulations on your transition but YWNBAW

 

[Dawdler]

Should I actually apply for a job again? I tried doing one near her. Got far into an interview but then didn't get it. I don't know if I should apply for another job.

The trick is just in casting a bigger net. Send more applications, go to more interviews and "level up" on them. It takes more effort and skill to get a job than actually to do it.
When you get one that you desired less than others you may still apply for others. Having income is better than nothing and work experience carries over.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

The trick is just in casting a bigger net. Send more applications, go to more interviews and "level up" on them. It takes more effort and skill to get a job than actually to do it.
When you get one that you desired less than others you may still apply for others. Having income is better than nothing and work experience carries over.

Yeah I tend to apply to stores near me as the transportation in the area I cannot afford. We only have one car. And it seems places aren't hiring (even after the big deportation.) it just feels stressful. I'm turning 21 this year and it's just crazy.

I got benefits from SS. And my mom's always "if you get a job then those benefits will go away!" Yet somehow she wants me to get my diploma and do what with it? Show it off and claim I finished? I don't know. I'm at least one of her biological daughters. The other ones married with some guy who has two children already. She's a graduate with a job.

I just feel I need to depend on her, but I also want to be independent. I don't know if it's envy because I can't really be normal or is it because I want to be successful. It's hard to tell. Though I worry about her knowing I post on the Farms.

 

[Dawdler]

Yeah I tend to apply to stores near me as the transportation in the area I cannot afford

That is living within your means which is completely ok. Sadly, being mobile costs a lot but it also provides you with better more job opportunities. If we do the basic take of 10 positions/sq.km and you only have walking range ~15 min@5km/h, that's 48 positions. If we use a car 15 min @50km/h that is 4830 ideally, way more to pick from. At 21, just enjoy it. Or try to at least. Nothing matters until you turn 30 and nobody will take you seriously until then as well.

I got benefits from SS. And my mom's always "if you get a job then those benefits will go away!"

True in certain circumstances and certain situations. For some jobs (apprenticeship) you may keep them partially and so on.
The only thing really going away is your youth and motivation. If you aren't self sufficient you are a slave to the government programs and employes really look down at people mooching on welfare, so the window closes by itself with no of your fault.

Yet somehow she wants me to get my diploma and do what with it?

Unless debt is involved it's is a good thing to get a diploma from a field you'd like to work in (and actually employs and pays well). Lifehack: You can also get your employer to pay for it.

The other ones married with some guy who has two children already. She's a graduate with a job.

I can't judge really. Job is better than no job, but it seems a bit desperate decision. His 2 kids will cut into the budget.

I just feel I need to depend on her, but I also want to be independent.

Such is "The Economy". Times when you could work at 15 and move out at 18 and live on your own are over. Now it takes 2 people to pay for a flat and they have to budget. It is overall unhealthy as part of growing up and developing yourself is living away from parents and taking on responsibilities.

I don't know if it's envy because I can't really be normal or is it because I want to be successful. It's hard to tell.

It's both.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

True in certain circumstances and certain situations. For some jobs (apprenticeship) you may keep them partially and so on.
The only thing really going away is your youth and motivation. If you aren't self sufficient you are a slave to the government programs and employes really look down at people mooching on welfare, so the window closes by itself with no of your fault.

I did tell her people make fun of people on SA and welfare and iirc she was like "it's because those people are jealous they can't stay on their ass all day and live from the government." Yeah but like. I don't want to live for the givenwmtn especially if my healthcare can't cover my primary doctor. I was taught at a younger age to be independent. And I feel so trapped sometimes. I don't know. The only other job I can do would be remote work. Like YouTube or editing or even talkng writing commissions but I wanna do actual work. Doesn't help that the state of the bills are bad.

Yeah. This is starting to make me feel slightly better. Hopefully things get better at least.