I guess it doesn't help that I tweaked my resume to align more with my creative interests; I've received a lot of attention from other jobs like the schools and stuff with it, but not retail jobs. I know this sounds really picky but I'm just at my wits end dealing with people and being... here in general haha
Have multiple resumes for different types of positions. You could create a master with everything then create sub-masters for different fields/types of work.
And when you submit one, make sure it includes stuff called out in the job posting. Especially online, they're often scanning for keywords. So tie it to the posting. And save the version you submit to each place to files with the name of the company and date submitted added to the file name. It's slower and annoying, but it will keep things straight so you know what you showed and to whom. Then when you prep for an interview you can build on what they've already seen.
I've mostly done the whole gamut of retail and customer service, but I've mostly worked in retail freight. Keeps you busy and in the back, away from customers and weirdos for the most part.
Did you like that? Do you feel you were good at it/above-average, engaged when there?
Admit I don't know much about retail freight specifically, but it sounds like something that might have a fair amount of men? Maybe not, but if that's a tense situation for you, then even if that's your next situation might want to think, once you're stable financially, about figuring out other directions to go.
I've been shot at with a BB gun in broad daylight going to the store because "you look like a trump supporter", whatever that means, I've been chased by schizophrenic people, harassed by tranny and moid coworkers alike... I hate it all
Well, that all sounds awful. But freaks and criminals aside, how do you go through your day? Do you stride, head up? Do you move quickly, purposefully? Do you act sure of yourself even when not?
As for harassment - if it's actionable at work, you can report it. But aside from that, question: how are you at telling people to step off? Can you wither someone who is stepping on your and any normal boundaries at work with a glare into their eyes and a serious face? ...I know that sounds cartoonish and sure, not for doing at crazy people brandishing knives or shooting bbs*, but I can't count the number of men - known and unknown to me - who have backed down and literally backed up from a look**. Or a look and some few words. And maybe they snickered about it or called me a name - but so what, idgaf. It got me what I wanted, which was for them to btfo, get out of my way, don't cut in front of me, stop touching me, stop sucking your teeth and getting up close, stop lying, stop bullshit ting, stop bullying, wtf ever. And I'm a petite woman, very feminine in appearance/ style, have lived in big cities, worked mostly in male-dominated areas, maybe have looked like a mark a good part of my adult life. So what?
*which - why would you take that personally?
** I obviously didn't intimidate them physically. Wasn't trying to. But a lot of shitheads don't need "dude I can beat you up" intimidation. A lot of them are just weak, or rude, or they think acting 8 years old is fine forever, or assume common space (and every person in it) belongs to them - and they have no expectation that anyone will not accept their vision of the world. ...And a lot of them will pull sad face when someone doesn't go along or says stop. Then they'll grumble or curse or call you names or apologize, trying to make you look like the one ott, then slink off.
To be clear, pushing back against a clearly deranged or menacing or dangerous person is NOT what to do. I'm talking about taking yourself seriously and moving from feeling like a ping-pong ball based on how other people treat you to something self-propelled, if that makes sense.
All that said, D.C.? For substitute teaching? When you don't like confrontation and feel intimidated easily? Please just look at elementary schools. And recognize that it will be a growth experience. Get a game face.
I don't have any insurance or money to do so, so it's mostly just trying to keep myself sane until I can talk to someone about what I should do.
I get that, and it's a hard place to be.
(And again, if working with kids is interesting, really maybe consider looking at community ed programs for kids - if you're hired by a public org, you may get some decent benefits - I knew a kid who worked for one part time during high school and though bc PT didn't have insurance-type benefits, there were pay increases and occasional distributions that went even to student employees, and the ft employees had decent benefits, time off, etc. )
A few thoughts:
Have you looked into any therapists who might have sliding scales based on income? Psychology Today has (or used to/assume they still do) searchable therapists, and you can filter by whether they have sliding scales. Might mean a bunch of calls, and I know that can feel like a big project, and "no" sucks to hear over and over, but it's a thought.
Does your state of residence (or DC, if there) have marketplace insurance/have you priced it out? In my state, being unemployed or low wage can make healthcare insurance heavily subsidized.
And/or are you eligible for unemployment, even short-term? It might not be much, but if you're not working, could help. Also - again, in my state, there are a ton of jobseeking resources for people getting unemployment (maybe even if not eligible!) - from job fairs to leads to resume help, help with interviews, etc. That's going to vary a lot by state, but find out if you don't already know.
If can feel weird to take help, but it could be useful, and even a relief to connect with anyone who will and is paid to help you. There is no point in letting pride or ideas about self-sufficiency get in the way of you getting what you need - which is a job, and between now and then, a mission, energy, and whatever monetary and non-monetary help is available.
Trying to focus on art but it was instilled at an early age that this is not a viable option so I am consciously trying to break out of that misconception that paralyzes me from pursuing it more, so I just spend more time dawdling on job boards unable to find something.
See about doing some work to sharpen up and create some versions of resumes. It may help focus your mind on what you're going after. And when you get an interview, bring your best, strongest voice, even if you don't believe yourself. Pull up the version of your resume you sent in and come up with an energetic narrative about why you want to do X job - and believe it whenever you're talking with a potential employer.
And last...take care of your body and your mind on your own, aside from the job efforts. Limit online time, limit any bad habits, create a schedule if you don't have one, lots of water, go to bed at regular times. And I'll add some things that many (maybe you) will find trite or obvious, but I'll do it anyway bc I found actually
doing these things, daily or near- daily, rather than just thinking about or dismissing them, useful in hours of uncertainty, worry, fear and need: meditation, affirmations, writing, exercise, and a morning ritual. Yep, just like every one of the 8 trillion "self-care" sites and articles out there say. But for real. Especially during an uncertain or unstructured time.
Highly recommend a morning ritual to structure your days when you don't have work framing your week.
Insight Timer is my go-to app for meditation, talks, and other mental/ emotional good stuff. I pay for it now, but they have a TON of free stuff.
