Old School Chris Crap

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timtommy said:
He has nothing else. His cultural tastes are those of an 11 year old. He has no job. He has no life. He has no intelligent thoughts on politics, religion, or philosophy.

His best shot of saying something that will interest anyone is to list off some of the mundane shit he does. Maybe someone will say "Oh yeah, you're right, shell hotdogs used to be better. What a shame." Or to tell some crazy-ass trolling story. Which to be fair, are two of his favourite topics of conversation.
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Being an autistic, he might be unable to discern what's of interest to someone else so he just lists stuff that was important enough to him to actually stick in his memory.

Chris is 32 (soon to be 33) and he has virtually nothing to talk about to people aside from "My life sucks" and "Derpy is best pony". And as if his lack of worthwhile conversation topics wasn't crippling enough, his attitude to merely broadcast information instead of actually engaging in a dialogue ruins whatever chance he has to have a decent talk even on the off chance of speaking to another MLP-sperg.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Also, If CWCville were real, the US would invade with the goal of removing CWCville's monarchist government (by Chris' own admission) due to gross violations of the Constitution and US law.
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Well, they'd put injunctions in place against the municipal authority. Unless Chris meant that CWCville was supposed to be an independent sovereign state, like a principality... but then it would not be part of the United States... which I think he would be unable to handle.
Panzer IV said:
1.99$ per episode of anime.
Chris doesnt know what is a torrent right? He is bitching every day about his lack of money but he pays exorbitant prices for media. I just cant understand it.
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It's probably better that he didn't. Knowing him, he would've done something stupid and wound up being one of those few people who got sued by a movie studio or something. Remember this was back before people did all their shit through offshore VPNs (implying Chris would even figure that out now).
LoveYouLongTime said:
Oh, funny story about that. He considers "Christopher" his "evil self" or whatever in his left(?) eye. One of his eyes. This evil self of him does horrible things like run snakes over. I know he told a certain gal pal this, but I don't quite recall if he ever wrote about it. Or is this knowledge already known? It's hard to keep up with what was safe to release and what wasn't.
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My god. It's like chuunibyou. I wonder if anyone ever suggested that Chris wear an eyepatch over his evil eye to prevent Christopher from getting out.
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SnergenFlergen said:
From the Kacey Call 6:
Chris: (Christian again) Uhh, yeah. Uhh, I heard a little bit, uh, you said something about... Yeah, well I did- I did hear about this, uh... Yeah, I'm definitely gonna schedule to see my uh, psychiatrist Dr. Pryce about this, (Kacey talks over him)
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What do we know about Dr. Pryce? Was he the prescribing doctor for Chris's antidepressants? Has he ever discussed him more at length?

Sorry ladies and lady doctors, for using male pronouns.
 
SnergenFlergen said:
From the Kacey Call 6:

Kacey: I mean you just can't make another personality come out like that, like it's not possible, you couldn't do it right now.
Chris: (Even longer pause) Uh well I don't know, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Heh. Anyway...
Kacey: I mean, if you think you have that much control over it, you should be able to do it right now.
Chris: (Now Christopher) Yeah I pretty much just did! Heh, I pretty much just did. I'm the dynamic one right here!
Kacey: Okay... So you're a completely different person. You don't know anything I've talked to you about before, you're completely different.
Chris: I've caught wind of some of the conversation when you were talking to Christian, uh... Yeah. But, I don't know all the details, other than the fact that I've got Star right next to me.
Kacey: Right... I mean, it still doesn't sound plausible at all. It really doesn't. I mean... That's like stuff you should go to a doctor for, 'cause that's definitely not healthy, like, you know that could be the sign of a brain tumor, right?
Chris: ...Really?
Kacey: Yeah, actually, it is. Like, next you're gonna be telling me that you feel like you're falling when you're standing.
Chris: Falling on my standing?
Kacey: No, like, people, when they stand, they could be standing or sitting, and they close their eyes and they feel like they're falling? That's a huge sign of a brain tumor. But this is what it sounds like, like it doesn't sound like multiple personalities, maybe you should really go get that checked out. I mean, this is what I'm going into, this is what I study. I'm really scared for you.
Chris: (Pause) Uhh hang on, I'm gonna switch back. (Makes a noise to indicate that he "switched back")
Kacey: (Laughing at him) There's no "switching back"... What??
Chris: (Christian again) Uhh, yeah. Uhh, I heard a little bit, uh, you said something about... Yeah, well I did- I did hear about this, uh... Yeah, I'm definitely gonna schedule to see my uh, psychiatrist Dr. Pryce about this, (Kacey talks over him)
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This sounds really similar to headmates. Looks like Chris might not just have the honor of being the first brony, but also the first multiple system!
 
This may or may not be my most boring batch. I'm having to dig through an insane number of useless forwarded emails. He may have sent these same emails to other people, so I apologize if they've already been seen.

This email is just an example of his most typical emails; fucking useless and a whole lot of "who the hell cares?"
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"I hate the school for making me use an online system that requires me to remember a number I have chosen not to put effort into remembering!"
 
Boy he gets angry easily. I've never seen someone get worked up AS they write an email. His letters always get progressively angrier.
 
Panzer IV said:
How much do we know about the detective? They are usually expensive as hell and I can't imagine a professional working on the trolls or the Greene county conspiracy.



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AAAACH, Spoiler why did you betray me?‽


It loaded without me clicking and now my Eyes are sad. *yawn*
 
Panzer IV said:
How much do we know about the detective? They are usually expensive as hell and I can't imagine a professional working on the trolls or the Greene county conspiracy.
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@LoveYouLongTime might know more, but as I recall (from what I've read of this material :tomgirl:), Chris is talking about a police officer. This was probably during the Ivy saga when Rocky got the police involved.

When Chris thinks he's got a servant, he has a tendency to pester them all the time with all sorts of unrelated requests or information. Like, I'm sure this cop got tons of troll information or whatever sent to him.

For quite awhile before and after his trial, Chris sent tons of troll information to Rob Bell. Chris essentially thought he had a lawyer on retainer and that if he managed to catch personal information on a troll, Rob Bell could have that troll arrested. As soon as an email smelled trollish, Chris forwarded it directly to Rob Bell, or this anonymous detective, or this poor person he's talking to in these emails.
 
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AtroposHeart said:
This sounds really similar to headmates. Looks like Chris might not just have the honor of being the first brony, but also the first multiple system!
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It's almost uncanny how much absolutely ludicrous shit was done by Chris first, and was the subject of open mockery, but yet is now taken completely seriously by an entire fucked-up culture of SJWs.

What now passes as normal for these fucked-up degenerates is what was universally laughable when Chris did it first.
 
"This bra feels soooo good! [...] I'VE ALWAYS HATED THAT STUPID POWERWEB! Anyway, this bra feels soooo good!"
Just... wow.
 
Marvin said:
Chris acknowledged his mental gymnastics!
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The smart thing to do would've been to issue a statement that changed the original meaning. Although it wouldn't change the fact that Chris originally meant something else, even if the meaning has been changed later. And of course, that overlooks the obvious vandalism. OK, it's not that smart, but Chris couldn't even do that, and had to resort to mental gymnastics instead.

With the latest batch of emails, I recall reading that rant about the "I always hated power web" on the CWCki somewhere too... Here we go - it's in the Muscle Bra article.
 
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