Honestly I regret ever knowing this person and defending them.
It didn't matter to me what was said about them online all that mattered was how they were with me.
Everyone has been in lockdown with Covid19, so she makes a post how she's now a he and changed her whole name. She's never once seemed trans in her life. And made it out to be that she just has to have her hair short for 6 months and wear a chest binder and then she's going to get male hormones and start her new life in time for Xmas.
It pissed me off as an insult to trans people who have to go through literal years.
Because I'm the only person NOT being instantly cheering she tried to ditch me back then. Oh uwu I'm supposed to treat her like a man when she's acting more sensitive than sensitive skin. Like I can't take this seriously!
She even brought up some simple disagreement we had 3 years ago, like she held on to some fucking disagreement from THREE years ago that wasn't even a massive fucking deal.
Looking back now it's like our whole 'friendship' seemed mostly just one sided. Like I literally feel used. I did everything I ever could to help her out whenever she was in need. She's owed me a few hundred for years and always said she would pay it back, but everytime she did have money she was spending it on other things like her new collections or swanning off to London or France for a few days.
She listed like all these other 'friends' of hers and never listed me and I always half felt like, well what about me? Am I not good enough? Do you even really like me? But kept that shit to myself, cause seemingly if I were to complain, it would then be a problem.
Everytime something went off for her I was supportive.
When things went off for me and I confided to her, she didn't even read the stuff I sent to her.
I showed my support to her with trans stuff and sent her TONS of stuff she never even looked at.
We were supposed to meet in July BUT she needed more time because some horrific thing had happened, which I won't detail here... for now. So our meet up was postponed to being in August.
Now this week just gone something happened to me, like I found out someone who lived near me was doing shit to me and lying to my face the whole time - too much to detail it fully here - but bottom line is they were trying to make me homeless and the whole situation impacted my mental health (on top of Covid already impacting it) I had ranted about the incident on social media we were both on, and then I was offline for like best part of a week with heavy depression and suicidal thoughts.
Just picked myself back up today and I was watching a news recording from July and something in the news report made me think of messaging Jess, just as I'm about to do so, she messaged me. And it started with "Hey mate, I'm sorry" and I was thinking OH she's seen what I'm going through and is checking in on me.
NO.
It was an entire mini encyclopedia mostly insulting me, saying things I'd never even said like "ur not a real man", complaining how I hadn't asked /her/ how she was or if she was ok - like for reals, before my own mental health went into decline I had asked her how she was and she only asked me in reply to me asking her first if she was ok - other things like 'I don't believe these people when they did X to you BUT' and then questioning something which would go in exact line with them. And then went on to say the money she owed me she didn't see the need to pay it back, like because now she's in rent arears and trying to help someone else keep their house - and basically says if I still want it I need to take her through court.
She's already well aware of something else I'm having to deal with that involves court and how stressful it is and how it's been impacting on me. So like why would she add to that? Cause she doesn't give a fuck about my mental health it looks like.
I sent her tonnes of memes and I left her comments being postive to her.
But just because I had 5 days downtime being severely depressed and taking time to myself, because I didn't send her a message asking how SHE was doing, I'm a terrible fucking person and she's gonna fuck off and block me everywhere.
