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What are your expectations for the EU5 release?


  • Total voters
    83
  • Poll closed .
I extremely dislike whatever projection rape they did for EU5. In EU5, Borneo/Brunei (0.7 million km²) is the same size as the Congo (2.3 million km²). Brazil barely alignes with continental plates, North America is extremely too North. They did say in dev diaries in EU4 they they took some liberties in map projection for gameplay or making the map easier to read, but for EU5 it just seems like they reshuffled the Earth entirely.
You probably got used to their older inaccurate map LMAO
 
Having not touched EU5 since just after launch, I decided now that the first major patches are out, and they're beginning teasers for the Byzantine DLC, it's a good time to get into it properly. Decided to play as Holland since I figured a smaller, but potentially rich, nation would be easier to manage. Currently only about 10 years in and the game is about to absolutely gangbang me.

Black death just spawned, Cod and Hook disaster just popped, my biggest ally ditched me (after I basically won their war against Austria for them), Munster declared a coalition war over my conquering Utrecht/Frisia and I'm about to have a Civil War with my Westphalian rebels.
 
Having not touched EU5 since just after launch, I decided now that the first major patches are out, and they're beginning teasers for the Byzantine DLC, it's a good time to get into it properly. Decided to play as Holland since I figured a smaller, but potentially rich, nation would be easier to manage. Currently only about 10 years in and the game is about to absolutely gangbang me.

Black death just spawned, Cod and Hook disaster just popped, my biggest ally ditched me (after I basically won their war against Austria for them), Munster declared a coalition war over my conquering Utrecht/Frisia and I'm about to have a Civil War with my Westphalian rebels.
Yeah, I abandoned my Holland game since I got half of North Germany to form a coalition by just vassalizing Utrecht, Frisia, and the other nations in the modern day Netherlands, and then England ec'd on Zeeland, and then France dec'd on Hainait, and all of this by circa 1360.
 
It's hilarious that Holland is recommened as a starter nation.
  • You are poised to be gaped by france and england the entire game.
  • Your only chance to defeat engerland is if their army and navy is wrecked simultaneously in the 100 yrs war.
  • Constant fuckery in the HRE dealing with Bohemia (hopefully somewhat fixed)
  • Precarious AE management
  • Special disaster
 
Funny enough, it's because of their weird EU4 map I thought they fucked up again, seems I was wrong about the projection.
Yeah, every Paradox map is heavily distorted/stylized for gameplay purposes. Super detailed and accurate in terms of depicting features of the Earth/cities, cartoonish in proportions and placement. Not just projections, they’d as I recall free draw them making judgments.
 
It's hilarious that Holland is recommened as a starter nation.
  • You are poised to be gaped by france and england the entire game.
  • Your only chance to defeat engerland is if their army and navy is wrecked simultaneously in the 100 yrs war.
  • Constant fuckery in the HRE dealing with Bohemia (hopefully somewhat fixed)
  • Precarious AE management
  • Special disaster
It's a shame since there aren't many countries that are small enough that micromanaging them isn't a pain, the only other Holland-esque country I can think of is Portugal, and even then you're quite dependent on Castile/Aragon not to stretch your holes. If I'm gonna do another run it'll probably be as Sweden since you're out of the way of most majors, and once you consolidate Scandanavia you're able to focus on colonizing and muscling Novgorod/the HRE out of the Baltic and North Germany, only problem would be subduing Denmark and their PU with Norway, and getting your population up.
 
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As an update to my previous post, things actually weren't so bad. Black death killed just over 1/3 of my pops, and then I was immediately hit by smallpox that took another 33k, taking my total deaths to 200k out of 470-ish. I don't know whether or not it's been toned down (search result from around launch painted a much more difficult picture), but Hook and Cod was a giant nothingburger. I just picked a faction and took the option to give them +1 influence whenever offered and it was over in a few years. The most difficult part was that option usually required tanking my control in a province, although in several cases it was newly conquered territory that had none anyway. Civil War was a cakewalk since I had a couple of mercenaries I just carpet sieged their 3 areas before they could even raise their army. Coalition war was a bit more difficult since I was fairly outnumbered. Ended up sending my mercenaries and a couple of levies to siege Munster itself, and had the rest simply playing whack-a-mole on the million little carpet sieging stacks.

Just passed the 50 year point since I've been playing super slowly and stopping to read everything. After also taking Frisia, Geldre and half of Brabant I can apparently form the Netherlands which seems incredibly early. Allied to England to try and counterbalance France since they're winning the 100 years war and a giant French blob scares me more than an English one right now. My biggest issue ATM though is the asshole Emperor constantly demanding Unlawful Territory which is completely killing my control growth in several provinces. Thankfully I'm about to finish some integrations so can spare a court member.

Overall quite enjoying the game, although one of my least favourite design choices from EU4 still exists; countries insisting on going for 100% war score even when it makes no sense. In my game Hungary somehow had overlordship of Brecon in Wales, so naturally England attacks. However instead of peaceing out early once they could take that, they insisted on spending the better part of a decade, and several thousand men, forcing Hungary to 100% WS, all so they could also get 120 ducats, some war reps, and freeing Moldovia.
 
It's a shame since there aren't many countries that are small enough that micromanaging them isn't a pain, the only other Holland-esque country I can think of is Portugal, and even then you're quite dependent on Castile/Aragon not to stretch your holes. If I'm gonna do another run it'll probably be as Sweden since you're out of the way of most majors, and once you consolidate Scandanavia you're able to focus on colonizing and muscling Novgorod/the HRE out of the Baltic and North Germany, only problem would be subduing Denmark and their PU with Norway, and getting your population up.
If you're willing to to look outside Western Europe, I think Serbia and Korea would fit the bill of starting small enough as well.

Personally, I'd recommend Austria. You start fairly smallish, and unlike EU3/4, you ain't a major power yet in 1337, with Bohemia being the dominant HRE power then.
 
Non-video link
Wizzington said:
Exultant Thursday! It is I, High Naval Commissioner Martin, bringing you the latest tidings from the admirals under my command. We’re about to embark on a year-long journey of updates and content that we have dubbed ‘Volume 3’ (or ‘Expansion Pass 3’ as some of the more uncouth captains would have called it back in less civilized times).

As you have no doubt inferred from the opening paragraph (and the many, many loud foghorns preceding it), Volume 3’s flagship is the Navy, accompanied by its sister ship Global Imperialism. In this development diary we take a ‘big-picture’ look at the content on offer in Volume 3, along with some of the notes we plan to hit in the accompanying free updates. As always, more detailed development diaries will follow on both paid and free features as we get closer to each separate release.
 
Uhhh... What?
1773360172910.png
Well, that would explain why the Catholic Church is in a vacuum and leaving Catholicism blocked from doing the Council of Trent in 1567.
1773360232828.png
Obligatory map post, I got cucked out of colonizing most of the Carribean due to shenanigans with naval supplies not being supplied to my new world colonies in Quebec and Greenland.
1773360291246.png
I should mention that I require the tech sapport sars, what console commands do I need to use to get this back in order?
 
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Uhhh... What?
View attachment 8693020
Well, that would explain why the Catholic Church is in a vacuum and leaving Catholicism blocked from doing the Council of Trent in 1567.
View attachment 8693027
Obligatory map post, I got cucked out of colonizing most of the Carribean due to shenanigans with naval supplies not being supplied to my new world colonies in Quebec and Greenland.
View attachment 8693034
I should mention that I require the tech sapport sars, what console commands do I need to use to get this back in order?
Yeah, I don't know how to fix this dood. Tagging over to the Pope and changing their government to theocracy crashes the game, while killing the current (Calvinist) pope and putting them into an interregnum and changing to theocracy then doesn't, it does make them leader of the Catholic Church IO but they don't elect a new Pope I think. FML, my last save before this happened is literally 55 years ago :lossmanjack:
Oh well, on the bright side I can rush the Caribbean this time around.
 
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The third image with the guy in glasses looking at VIC2 is an original while the other ones are total leftoid slop. 2018-2020 was an interesting time for political discourse online in relation to Paradox games where radicalized (Neo-nazi, O9A, communist, etc) troons basically cannibalized the HOI4 modding community among other games and participating in politics was seen as cringe. It's also when the snowflake political ideologies really sprang up (Neo-Libertarian-Falangist or Anarcho-Statist-Syndicalist) and there were reactions against that. I haven't been on Discord since 2020, but I'm willing to bet that a lot of that subculture was run underground as Discord routinely banned any server to the right of Romney. There used to be a whole political scene where there was an actual diversity in political discussion and debate and now that's just gone from what I've heard. IK this isn't a politisperging thread, but I wouldn't be surprised if there is a sort of 1:1 with the decline of Paradox games and the decline in political discourse not just within Paradox but also online as a whole.

In other news, I tried my Nth Ottoman run and managed to take all of Anatolia, some of Bulgaria, and the Byzantines. I did vassalize Georgia, but lost it in a stupid coalition war where I was outmanned (skill issue on my part) and decided to just let go of it. When I captured Bulgaria, I had another coalition war and no allies where they released one of my cored territories into a stupid independent country in Anatolia and took away 1K ducats on top of my 2000 ducats in loans because something is wrong with this update. I don't really know what it is, but my economy has been nerfed hardcore and is extremely volatile. I don't know why my "diplomatic spending" and the court costs spike up when I only have like three children who are above the age of 16 and I'm only improving relations with one vassal, but I never got above 200 ducats at a time for a majority of the game unless through the disestablishing the church events. I'm deciding whether or not I want to save the run or just restart because there's no way I'm paying back 2000 ducats in loans unless I win some major wars and the economy just keeps fluctuating hardcore. I can't tell if they're trying to encourage me not to conquer lands outside of vassalization, but annexing vassals now seems a lot slower too. I wish I knew how to micro-manage because it seems like automation is just retarded but I do need it for some things. My crown power was also lower than in prior games so maybe that was it and my legitimacy wasn't ever more than 80 the entire time.
 
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