Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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Judge Holden said:
I was gonna check his account to see if he had mentioned pineapple at all on xitter, only to find that at precisely 05:18am he was awake and angrily oinking threats at stalker childs
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Which means either he has once again pulled an all nighter, or he woke up at 5am and immidiately began NOCHILDing

Either way I understand why Nikki looks so fucking miserable in any photo or video she is in.

Anyway back to the pineap....OH COME ON
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100 IQ: quotes Billy Madison
90 IQ: quotes Happy Gilmore
Pat IQ?: steals jokes from Little Nicky
 
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icantsneed.png

NO CHILD THAT TWENTY DOLLAR BILL WAS NOT REAL, IT IS SIMPLY A DELUSION. ENJOY PRISON
 
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aTalker Texas Ranger said:
So, I did the Patrick S. Tomlinson deep dive. Having done so, I can state confidently that he has no redeeming qualities, attributes, or traits beyond "he's a successful organism because he's still alive, has reproduced, and has a stable environment for habitation".
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Having done your deep dive you couldn’t even confidently state that he is very, very fat? This is why your life is over, stalker.
Judge Holden said:
I am now declaring an emergency shutdown of the makers mark distillery until we can figure out what the hell is going on and why so many of our cows are drinking that shit
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I’ve never considered this before but you are 100% correct. Are they making literal retard juice at their facilities? The evidence is out there.
 
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Creative Username said:
That would imply that he has been non-fat, if only for a moment. Pat has never stopped being fat. You will enjoy prison for this disinformation.
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No, baby infant stalker toddler child, those are your delusions again. FAT is a proper noun in this case, i.e. it's his name. You have been instructed, many thousands of times, to cease correcting me. Enjoy prison.
 
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Judge Holden said:
Which means either he has once again pulled an all nighter, or he woke up at 5am and immidiately began NOCHILDing
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Pat's up in the wee hours of the morning so often I wonder if he has some Google alert or something set up for his name. If so, does he keep his phone on max volume to wake him up whenever the Idiots are out there Winning? It'd make me feel vaguely bad for his wife bedmate housemate captive that she hears a claxon at all hours. Only vaguely though, she still chooses to be with him after all.
Maybe the other half of the duplex is for her to sleep in so she doesn't get rudely woken up by Fatty's perpetual Xeeting.
 
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306h4Ge5eJUJ said:
A quick check of whiskey prices seems to support that. There are a few that are a dollar or two cheaper, but Maker's Mark is listed at ~22 bucks in a segment where most things are 30 or 40 minimum.
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That’s another reason I avoid it. It’s priced with the premium whiskies here, but Americans have told me it’s a cheap offering.

A lot of American labels are expensive here because there are still people who think recognized American brand equals quality, but they fail to realize that most famous American brands are designed to offend the least amount of people possible. That does make them good, just dependable and familiar!
 
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Judge Holden said:
Ok I just searched his account for "whiskey" to see what other drinks he was shilling and I am now declaring an emergency shutdown of the makers mark distillery until we can figure out what the hell is going on and why so many of our cows are drinking that shit
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Like I dont hate it myself but between ethan ralph, fat, that lawyer retard and a bunch others in the killstream sphere it seems to be the fat failure drink of choice
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I hypothesize that lolcows like Maker's Mark for several reasons. It looks fancy. The wax seal and cork stopper tricks their autistic brains into thinking a $25 bottle of bourbon is high class. Which leads into the second point. It's cheap. Not Heaven Hill cheap but you can definitely use it as mixer and not miss anything. Lastly, it's easy to drink. It's very sugary and is 70 proof instead of the common 80. This makes it perfect for binge drinking sessions. I also notice lolcows almost always have a sweet tooth, often contributing to their fatness and why the gravitate towards Maker's Mark. I think cobes likes to use Maker's too in his sick drink combos but I'm not a boglim disciple.
 
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