Pengo Q&A - Ask Pengo/Hatun questions about Glip and Floraverse here

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@Hatun what are your thoughts on this? specifically the highlighted portions

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glip has yet to show their proof that they still say they had, even after admitting that marl was lying and that the logs werent doctored after all. so where is that proof? how was this a "solid case"? is it true that you didnt respond to their "youre being sued" claim or is that a lie, too?

i would ask if you knew the witnesses, since if you were actually in a suit i think they would have been legally required to give you their information for cross-examination (unless suits of this kind dont work like that, oops, not a law expert). but i feel like it never went that far, and/or you dont know them, so i dont expect you to answer. if you do, though, its obviously that we want to know lol

I did not reply to it yes, as mentioned previously, my lawyer told me to basically be quiet. If I stayed quiet, they never find out that they submitted a ton of wrong information which, to the lawyers credit, was true. They never did find that out when it was relevant and, since they got my name wrong in filing, the lawsuit was essentially dead upon arrival, but the court did not know that so it was just stuck in limbo for a few years. Had the case been redone to include my actual name, then the problem would be that it claims that I am a resident of Nevada, which I have never even been to NV. This is a problem because if I were a resident of NV, then I would be required to fly there for the court case (according to the lawyer I spoke to, so maybe I'm remembering wrong or things have changed as it's been years), as opposed to if I was correctly labeled as living in my state, then PK would have had to fly over to me. My lawyer also said the court case was extremely poorly written and that the lawyer they had used was previously barred from practice due to what was essentially a willingness to be corrupt. So I'm sure had I needed to genuinely go to court and retain a lawyer for the entire case, things would have gotten a lot messier and not in a beneficial way to PK. However, again, I did not have the time or money or really mental health to take that to court. I don't regret not taking it to court except for the fact that maybe it could have gotten Marl under the spot light, though I don't know how likely that is as the officers I attempted to talk to were of zero help in 2014.

For the witnesses, the case did not get far considering the wrong information, but I'm going to assume that meant people who were at the convention like Naki and Alice, in regards to my posts claims regarding the con. Alternatively, it could be regarding financial info that Marl, Eevee and others may be privy to as having been part of the household and thus would be aware of any losses at the time.
I'm assuming the logs on their side would be all the information they gathered for Eevee's doc. I'm assuming that, yes, it looked like a "solid case" to PK and their friends at the time considering that PK's friends, especially back then, enabled the hell out of them.
The lawsuit involved $30k in damages according to my post asking people not to support them. The evidence and case may involve financial documents regarding loss of money. I also had my own documents I submitted to my lawyer to look over, and he said that even if it went to court it's very likely that it would not be in their favor considering that their patreon had gained money in the NSFW one and lost money in the SFW one because it had been about a year or part of a year since they had actually updated with comics instead of just species sheets etc, so there's plausible belief that I was not behind that dip in finances. Again though, part of the proof may be their own finances that I do not have access to, such as sales history of their merch and job offers potentially rescinded.

My thoughts are that PK was honestly incredibly aggressive, cruel, and self-righteous about a lot of things in the past, and can still be extremely stubborn and cruel in the right/wrong situations. I want that to change.


as for the narcissism thing, i think its helpful to understand there are generally three different kinds of narc (with subtypes of course but im more talking about the motivations/goals/tactics). imo glip is DEFINITELY a vulnerable/covert narc, if not also a collective narc. so if your experience was with an overt/malignant narcissist it would DEFINITELY look different from a covert or collective narc.

put some resources for you below since collective narcissism can be hard to find at times, as its a relatively new way of defining this "flavor" of narcissism.

definition of vulnerable narc:
There’s also another, less obvious kind of narcissist to watch out for, apart from the anti-social and grandiose types: the covert, or vulnerable, narcissist. Don’t be deceived by the name, because these individuals also believe they are superior, but they keep these beliefs inside. Vulnerable narcissists are deeply self-absorbed, maintain an artificially inflated sense of themselves, and believe that they are entitled to more attention than they get. They, therefore, feel chronically victimized, as though the world has failed to recognize their brilliance or specialness. In this, the covert narcissist becomes prone to feelings of depression, even as he or she expresses powerful contempt for other people. These narcissists, too, lack empathy; they may be highly sensitive, but their sensitivity does not extend to the feelings of others.

definition of a collective narc, which i think is extremely pertinent when taking the flora discord into account:
"As opposed to individuals with narcissistic personality, who maintain inflated views of themselves, collective narcissists exaggerate offenses to their group’s image, and respond to them aggressively. Collective narcissists believe that their group’s importance and worth are not sufficiently recognized by others. They feel that their group merits special treatment, and insist that it gets the recognition and respect it deserves. In other words, collective narcissism amounts to a belief in the exaggerated greatness of one’s group, and demands external validation.

Collective narcissists are not simply content to be members of a valuable group. They don’t devote their energy to contributing to the group’s betterment and value. Rather, they engage in monitoring whether everybody around, particularly other groups, recognize and acknowledge the great value and special worth of their group. To be sure, collective narcissists demand privileged treatment, not equal rights. And the need for continuous external validation of the group’s inflated image (a negative attribute) is what differentiates collective narcissists from those who simply hold positive feelings about their group."

(sources for second link are at the end of the article)

EDIT: this video describes flora to a T ruh roh

Thank you for these resources. I have trouble understanding covert/vulnerable narcissism.
I can understand it when it is exaggerated to a logical extreme (as in, constantly passive aggressive, consistently putting oneself down for validation and throwing a fit when not getting it, only doing good things where people can see for validation, an extreme entitledness just for existing) but as described typically, I do not.

For example https://www.healthline.com/health/covert-narcissist
Many of these traits can be found in people who have low self-esteem in general. I have read up on the different types of narcissism even before you began to speak to me about it, but it is difficult for me to parse as... truthfully, it just seems like something a lot of people go through, especially in their teens. Having an inferiority complex, but also thinking you're better than everyone else is something I could talk about in regards to almost everyone I knew in highschool and some adults. There are many people who are introverts who are depressed and anxious, can be passive aggressive at times, can daydream about better things in their life and being cared about and liked, don't take well to criticism (possibly due to past abuse), and so on.
I do think PK shows some of these signs, but I don't think this means they are inherently broken forever. I recognize PK definitely showed stronger more aggressive and cruel traits in the past, with how they treated BF/Lain and others. I think as they currently are though, compared to before, they have been improving, even if at a snail's pace.

I also find the idea that "they think they are superior but keep it inside" is... not intrinsically bad? If actions are what matter, then as long as bad thoughts are not publicly displayed as actions, that's fine by me. I think I may not understand it due to my own struggle with mental illness and therapy, and the fact that a lack of empathy does not mean it is impossible to teach someone empathy nor to teach someone right from wrong. One of my closest friends had a lot of trouble with empathy due to how he was neglected, but he has come around and now, while not as empathetic as others, can feel for others and recognize when something is wrong even if he doesn't feel the emotion behind it.


As for the family cult video, I'm not sure I agree. Part of it may be the idea that i genuinely had been in contact with a cult when i was a teen, an online one led by an artist, that many people were part of. I'm assuming it's still going.
The leader believed they were the Queen of the dream world and there was another evil queen who they were fighting against. The leader would claim that those drawn to them are reincarnated versions of others who served under said Dream Queen. They told me that my mental illness meant that I was SPECIAL and channeling spirits or something.

I do agree that the server is on its way, it has enablers and many of the people who enter want to be controlled imo and feed into bad co-dependent behaviors, and I hate when people brush off the idea that the server could be a cult because it definitely, with tweaking, go fullblown Waco, Texas... but I guess I don't agree the whole video applies. That might be me taking you too literally though.
Originally I wrote a longer reply talking about the video, but I realized I didn't want to derail things again nor try to justify anything PK has done. I don't think every aspect applies, but I recognize many do and will keep it in mind.


Also, I have spoken with my psych about concerns KFers had, and she understood as well and is going to help me with certain things in regards to boundaries and PK. Sorry for being vague, but I wanted to give an update in that regard.
 
thanks for your reply @Hatun , and apologies if i made you re-go over information. its SUPER interesting to me that glip hired a barred lawyer (its hilariously fitting actually) but i assume they were hired for cheap or something and the barring is why they were cheap. could be wrong, but it seems the most likely option

i totally get the covert narcissism thing. the thing is, many low self esteem people are covert narcissists. its a defense mechanism against that self-loathing and lack of self confidence. everyones got narcissistic traits, both covert and overt (i view most disorders as scales of mild -> extreme, ESPECIALLY narcissism), but youre not a narcissist unless those traits are a major/dominant part of your personality, and you dont have npd unless that narcissism becomes extreme enough to cause disorder, distress, etc in your and others' lives.

its also pertinent i think to mention that you can be a covert narcissist without realizing because you genuinely believe that youre always the victim, that everyones always against you, youre super jealous of everyone because you feel like you have nothing, etc etc. a ton of covert narcs / people with covert narc tendencies emotionally abuse others without even knowing until its too late. my friend certainly was in that camp, and once they realized what they were doing - that constantly begging for attention and validation through things like guilt tripping was toxic and hurting people they loved - they were able to change. they genuinely felt they were a victim and had proof of being so, but it was literally all they talked about. they had lost sight that constantly only talking and bemoaning about themself without actually asking other people about their days/how theyre doing was shitty and selfish and narcissistic. they hadnt even considered that they were being as toxic and abusive as the people who had hurt them until it was too late.

thats the narcissistic part of covert narcissism - it's ego-centered because of the constant pity-party, self-loathing, self-victimizing when theyve been criticized or called out for doing something wrong. it requires you believing that youre the center of everyones hate, everyones vitriol. although you hate yourself, youre still putting yourself at the center of everyones worlds. covert narcs expect people to respond to them immediately, especially about emotional matters, which shows the inherent entitlement. again, a lot of people dont even realize theyre narcissists. its only a problem once it starts hurting people.

thats what i believe is happening with glip. the only flora content for the past few YEARS has been self-victimization (see how they said they were being lied about by people they knew werent lying), "im sooo awful arent i, so arent i manipulating you, arent i a horrible person," the guilt trips and immediate "I'm disengaging" whenever ANYTHING bothers them because they take it as a personal affront or that people are intentionally trying to make them miserable, blah blah. the outright anger and basically deifying themself (see most of their VN stuff) are some of their overt narcissistic traits (they have both, easily). and theyre certainly hurting people in the discord by basically requiring constant emotional labor, and at times, consent to abuse.

hopefully that helped a little bit with identifying? like i said, narcissism in general is a defense mechanism, and a lot of times covert narcissists dont mean to be narcissists so it's definitely hard to tell a lot of the time.

as long as your therapist as along for the ride, i wont insist on you staying away. im sure you know what youre getting into so godspeed, i guess. and no need to divulge therapy notes lol
 
Thank you for these resources. I have trouble understanding covert/vulnerable narcissism.
I can understand it when it is exaggerated to a logical extreme (as in, constantly passive aggressive, consistently putting oneself down for validation and throwing a fit when not getting it, only doing good things where people can see for validation, an extreme entitledness just for existing) but as described typically, I do not.

For example https://www.healthline.com/health/covert-narcissist
Many of these traits can be found in people who have low self-esteem in general. I have read up on the different types of narcissism even before you began to speak to me about it, but it is difficult for me to parse as... truthfully, it just seems like something a lot of people go through, especially in their teens. Having an inferiority complex, but also thinking you're better than everyone else is something I could talk about in regards to almost everyone I knew in highschool and some adults. There are many people who are introverts who are depressed and anxious, can be passive aggressive at times, can daydream about better things in their life and being cared about and liked, don't take well to criticism (possibly due to past abuse), and so on.
I was going to say some stuff, but then I found this video that explains things far better than I could - particularly regarding the seemingly contradictory aspects of covert narcissists' victim complex.


The parts about being ostentatiously, theatrically the biggest victim in the room ring particularly true. This guy's youtube channel has a lot of useful material in general, too.

PK's been through some severe abuse - she's made sure everyone knows this, repeatedly. It's like there's this concept in her head of "If everyone knows my tragic backstory and the reasoning behind my actions (which is always the most sympathetic, understandable, reasonable reasoning possible) then they'll UNDERSTAND and get off my back".

The other thing is - it's not surprising that you'd say narcissistic traits were common or even universal in high schoolers. If the core summary of (pathological) narcissism is an excessive focus on one's own needs and feelings at the expense of others - kids fit that description, but that's fine, they're supposed to. They're emotionally immature and dependent on adults for everything. It's just when people get to their 20's, 30's and up and haven't grown out of it or just continue destructive patterns that it becomes a problem. And the way I understand it, in a majority of cases of narcissistic personality and all that related cluster B shit, they didn't get that necessary love, care, attention etc. as a child and so got locked into that mindset of viewing other people solely in relation to themselves instead of developing healthy ways of relating to other people.
 
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