perhaps the most retarded idea I've ever had (Registered Agent Edition)

[Null]

As others have pointed out, the main downside to this approach is hiring a proper employee rather than a rental agreement that includes this kinda work. But honestly I think that is your ONLY option simply because the rental agreement shenanigans is only going to be taken up by the desperate and the ghetto dwellers. You don't want those types sorting your mail. Plus that may violate some labor laws.

Commercial property is somehow much more expensive than even shitty 2bds. Is there something I'm missing? Why is a standalone store in Roswell, NM worth 175k?

 

[Null]

law in muttland is hilariously backwards, the internet has existed for decades now, requiring companies to have actual physical office is completely out of touch with the reality of business

It's because servicing in the US is very strict. You need to basically put paperwork in somebody's hand to service them if they're trying to avoid it.

 

[Black Yoshi]

@Null

I found a listing in the shittiest most out of the way place I could think of, a trailer park in Casper.

96 N 3rd Ave, Mills, WY 82604 | Zillow

96 N 3rd Ave, Mills WY, is a Single Family home. The Zestimate for this Single Family is $63,500, which has increased by $13 in the last 30 days.The Rent Zestimate for this Single Family is $1,250/mo, which has increased by $39/mo in the last 30 days.

www.zillow.com

No way any coastal elitist would go after a trailer park.

 

[Baguette Child]

@Null Sent an email, don't know if you're interested.

 

[Sperghetti]

I know Null just said the “small store with a single employee” idea wouldn’t work, but it would still be hilarious to have Kiwi Farms LLC running like some kind of mafia front organization.

 

[Max Free]

Delaware, New Mexico, Nevada, South Dakota, or Wyoming

Does it have to be these states? Cause I found something very cheap in Ohio.
Could [this] be the new Meme-Mansion?

 

[Quindarius]

Commercial property is somehow much more expensive than even shitty 2bds. Is there something I'm missing? Why is a standalone store in Roswell, NM worth 175k?

That's because Roswell is a tourist trap.

 

[Puff]

Does it have to be these states? Cause I found something very cheap in Ohio.
Could [this] be the new Meme-Mansion?

Does he need the space, because if it doesn't have to be in those state, I could probably swing it. I'm already a high swatting risk for unrelated reasons, so I don't mind the hassle. Also looking to quit my job, so another reason to get fired is no biggie.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

I suggest "The Zoo", short, to the point and catchy. Also advertiser friendly.

Tenacious Unicorn... Something

 

[Pill Cosby]

Hire Cobra. His black magic will keep the troons away.

To keep the troons away you need a ScareTrans. It’s basically the same as a ScareCrow but looks like JK Rowling and mutters the words “you will never be a women”. Also hand bars of soap above the windows and doors.

 

[chudbere]

The mailbox on a lot idea does not work because there needs to be a person who can receive in person any servicing and court orders.

Okay so I think this idea has been dismissed too quickly. You don't need the agent to live on site 24-7. Like I said in chat, I think your best bet is an empty lot with a gravel pad and electric/water that a portable trailer can be set on to serve as an office. Bonus points if the lot is deep so the pad can be far off the road with a gravel drive leading to it.

The drive is blocked at the road with a locked pipe gate, camera at the gate with a feed being recorded on equipment in the trailer, and secure mailbox at the roadside. On the gate you have a sign with a phone number for law enforcement and process servers to call.

This way your designated agent can live within 30min-1hr off site safely and hopefully in privacy. They show up once a day to collect mail etc. If someone shows up to fuck with the property, they can't easily gain access and will be on camera. A swatting would be pretty useless as well, especially after the agent talks to local law enforcement to make them aware that the address will be a target.

If a process server shows up, they call the number on the gate, talk to the registered agent, who then can meet them at the parking lot of the nearest police station to receive paperwork or court documents. I think a scenario like this is the safest way to have any regular person do this for you.

I mentioned a buying a gas well in chat because that would make it multiple felonies for anyone who tries to fuck with the property, but that would be pretty expensive. Any empty lot set off the road will do. Pics below for example

 

[Polarity]

This would only work well if you had someone you trusted and paid managing this shit locally for you, and I can't imagine hiring someone competent and willing to take risks like this working for less than 75-100K a year minimum. Doing this remote from Transnistria or wherever the hell you are is going to be impossible.

So you need a ton of upfront capital, but if you had that and a trusted employee you could start a business servicing for others. That would be the only way this doesn't end in some sort of Waco style situation.

What do you do the second they stop responding to you? How do you fire, evict, fix the place up, rehire? Are you willing to fly back to do this every 3-6 months? When the tenant inevitably gets arrested after being swatted, are you going to bail them out and pay legal fees? The list of shit that can go wrong goes on forever. Hell, people might be insane enough to torch the place, so you need it fenced in, with security cameras, etc.

 

[Niall Meanwhile]

Being a landlord also means you become responsible for the houses ongoing maintenance and everything that happens there, which has ongoing costs. If your chosen secretary starts using your property as a trap house for extra cash on the side, you might get fucked over because of it.

That's the kind of thing a naked ownership/usufruct agreement would take care of, if such a thing exists in burgerland. Thus nool wouldn't be legally or financially liable for whatever may go down in the property while still retaining ownership, and the house-sitter would waive any right to claim eminent domain further down the line.

Anyway, it's been mentioned throughout but it bears repeating that whoever is unironically considering to volunteer for this is essentially signing up for becoming the second most doxxxxxxed person on the (upper or lowercase) internet. Don't underestimate the "nothing left to lose" bit that comes with the job description.

Sounds like a mission cut for the A&N rahowa boogaloo types who must be yearning to go fight the culture war in the frontlines. Put your money where your mouth is and send your application to 4210 Wolfetown Road, etc.

 

[Amanda Hugenkis]

Commercial property is somehow much more expensive than even shitty 2bds. Is there something I'm missing? Why is a standalone store in Roswell, NM worth 175k?

Because it can be leased out to businesses, and they can pay more in rent than an average family living in a two bedroom house.

 

[Fortyone]

Are you sure you want to deal with kingcobrajfs after what happened with Chris? Cobra is slightly more connected to reality than chris but he's insanely ignorant and tends to chimp put often, not to mention he's a heavy alchoholic.

At least he doesn't fuck his mom as far as I know

 

[Pee Cola]

Just get some gypsy to do it.
They give no fucks and are hostile to degenerates.
Can't you get a PO box or something the sort to avoid the constant harassment ?

They'll also rob Null blind.

Holyyyyyy shit! Godspeed to anyone with the sheer grit to deal with the constant tranny assault. Also constantly stream the porch, odds are a lot of wacky shit worth sharing will happen.

It just occurred to me. A white South African man would be ideal. They're used to being under siege in their own homes, and their kaffirs are way scarier than any troon. They're usually good Christians too, which would be a huge help in a small town.

As an added bonus, a South African accent sounds enough like an Australian accent that most Americans will just love to hear him talk (assuming that the stereotypes about Americans being the world's biggest Australian accent enjoyers is true).

law in muttland is hilariously backwards, the internet has existed for decades now, requiring companies to have actual physical office is completely out of touch with the reality of business

It's standard MO in most parts of the world. Usually this is as simple has having a registered agent, which in some places can be a lawyer or accountant. The challenge Null is facing is that his business is under constant attack by bad actors, therefore making it difficult to hire a registered agent. I suspect the few registered agents willing to take this on would be on the expensive side, purely to cover the extra costs of having to deal with Lolcow LLC's special needs.

Does it have to be these states? Cause I found something very cheap in Ohio.
Could [this] be the new Meme-Mansion?

I suspect there are sound commercial reasons for Null having a specific list of states. I'm aware of Wyoming and Delaware being especially friendly jurisdictions; I suspect the other nominated states operate in a similar way.

 

[Neo-Holstien]

The "buy a house" step seems unnecessary and more hassle than it is worth. Once you're a landlord, then anything that goes wrong becomes your problem, and you will have to hire someone local to do all the maintenance and repairs. And there will probably be a lot of repairs necessary to make the house habitable, if you are buying in a place where they practically give away property.

Is there no one on the forum willing to do it for $50 a month or something, without the rental arrangement?

They would A have to live in that state, B not have better options, and C be ready for shitstormagedon.

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

Well at least Josh will finally become a land owner, problem is he'll be forced to rent to a retard that'll destroy it.

 

[Pampered Degenerate]

No 'perhaps' about it, this is one of the most retarded ideas I've ever heard. Godspeed you absolute madman, I sincerely hope that this doesn't backfire spectacularly, as hilarious as that might be.

 

[Unabomber Eleven]

1) I’d totally do it if Colorado were an option

2) I think Cobra would be an EXCELLENT choice Jersh, and it might help get him out of his alcoholic slump

I’m just sayin….if Chris Chan was worthy of a guiding chance with the farms, Cobes is too