- Joined
- Mar 25, 2016
I never understand why you shit up threads with unfunny spam.
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
- Thread starter Judge Holden
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I never understand why you shit up threads with unfunny spam.
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2014
That's @CatParty. He only tells the truth.
The Great Citracett
HERE COMES THE THE COCK BOAT! Set sail for dick.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2015
He had a myspace at one point but really that's about it.
Actually, this weekend I'm hoping to finally get around to posting about my current lolcow I'm following. Proctor was just someone I remembered from school and figured I'd make a post about. Didn't expect that he'd be so popular.
The guy I'm wanting to share next, I've got lots of pics, screencaps, etc of and he's got some online presence too. Imagine a 5'6, 400lb sperg who looks, talks and acts like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons. He's a completely helpless, usually shirtless manchild with a superiority complex, hates everything, has a massive ego, blows his tugboat on gaming supplies and magic cards, and absolutely must try to force roleplay into every aspect of his life. He's also a "nice guy", a sith lord, and a female mage, among other things. I just haven't found time to type it all up. He might be threadworthy.
Here's a few pics though, he's the embodiment of smug:
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- Joined
- Jan 18, 2016
I have a relative who I find to be a minor lolcow. I don't think he's particularly interesting, but he's still strange.
I'll just list off some weird quirks he has.
- He's almost constantly grumpy, and he literally growls if you slightly annoy him.
- I once found a stash of nude furry girl drawings that I'm pretty sure he drew himself in his room.
- He defended someone who fucked a goat.
- He spergs about anything he has an interest in (including Kid Icarus, Steven Universe and Undertale) in great detail and will ramble on and on about it for literally hours while bouncing up and down excitedly (he's in his late twenties by the way). This is weird because, like I said, he's usually grumpy.
- He explained why the pull out contraception techinque didn't work to a 17 year old girl the first day they ever spoke to each other. She looked incredibly uncomfortable afterwards. (He was in his mid twenties at this point)
- He explained in detail why Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't an accurate depiction of BDSM in sexual relationships and described what a healthy BDSM relationship was to my uncle, who he never really spoken to before. (My uncle simply mentioned that thought FSoG sounded like a bad book/film. He didn't mention BDSM at all.)
- He has conversations with himself and doesn't even try to hide it.
- He was found crying in his lounge in the early hours of the morning after the election because Trump won and he was apparently worried about his LGBT friends (I didn't realise he had friends honestly) living in America, although he lives in England.
- He considers himself pansexual despite stating that he didn't like thinking about sex with men not too long before that revelation. (I think he's on his computer all day every day when he's awake and has probably been spending too much time reading articles that state that having sexual preferences is discriminatory and he thusly "unlearned" his "prejudices".)
- He keeps going on about which lesbians and men he finds sexy to justify his pansexual identity, which would be fine if he was, but it sounds very forced when he mentions it.
- I saw him face down on the floor when I visited his house once. He didn't collapse or anything, he just decided to be face down on the floor.
- I also once saw him literally upside down in the corner of his lounge.
- He makes really weird sounds with his throat every now and then (this only started maybe one or two years ago), and it gets really loud when he eats. I asked him why he does those sounds and he said "I just do."
He's a good guy though. When the conditions are right and he's in out of his house he's sociable and entertaining, but he just doesn't have a reason to leave his house anymore so we barely get to see that now. I don't know if he has some kind of condition, but I just hope he gets his life back together soon.
I'll just list off some weird quirks he has.
- He's almost constantly grumpy, and he literally growls if you slightly annoy him.
- I once found a stash of nude furry girl drawings that I'm pretty sure he drew himself in his room.
- He defended someone who fucked a goat.
- He spergs about anything he has an interest in (including Kid Icarus, Steven Universe and Undertale) in great detail and will ramble on and on about it for literally hours while bouncing up and down excitedly (he's in his late twenties by the way). This is weird because, like I said, he's usually grumpy.
- He explained why the pull out contraception techinque didn't work to a 17 year old girl the first day they ever spoke to each other. She looked incredibly uncomfortable afterwards. (He was in his mid twenties at this point)
- He explained in detail why Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't an accurate depiction of BDSM in sexual relationships and described what a healthy BDSM relationship was to my uncle, who he never really spoken to before. (My uncle simply mentioned that thought FSoG sounded like a bad book/film. He didn't mention BDSM at all.)
- He has conversations with himself and doesn't even try to hide it.
- He was found crying in his lounge in the early hours of the morning after the election because Trump won and he was apparently worried about his LGBT friends (I didn't realise he had friends honestly) living in America, although he lives in England.
- He considers himself pansexual despite stating that he didn't like thinking about sex with men not too long before that revelation. (I think he's on his computer all day every day when he's awake and has probably been spending too much time reading articles that state that having sexual preferences is discriminatory and he thusly "unlearned" his "prejudices".)
- He keeps going on about which lesbians and men he finds sexy to justify his pansexual identity, which would be fine if he was, but it sounds very forced when he mentions it.
- I saw him face down on the floor when I visited his house once. He didn't collapse or anything, he just decided to be face down on the floor.
- I also once saw him literally upside down in the corner of his lounge.
- He makes really weird sounds with his throat every now and then (this only started maybe one or two years ago), and it gets really loud when he eats. I asked him why he does those sounds and he said "I just do."
He's a good guy though. When the conditions are right and he's in out of his house he's sociable and entertaining, but he just doesn't have a reason to leave his house anymore so we barely get to see that now. I don't know if he has some kind of condition, but I just hope he gets his life back together soon.
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- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2016
Incredibly skilled artists who are shit human beings. Several are mentioned here on KiwiFarms but I have some others that I've interacted with personally who come to mind.
People who just didn't like me so they threatened not to interact with my friends (like draw them art) if they continued to talk to me. Shit like that.
People who just didn't like me so they threatened not to interact with my friends (like draw them art) if they continued to talk to me. Shit like that.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
so there was this guy
Clearly never washed himself, absolutely covered in blemishes, worked as a janitor
He was stuck in a group project with me and i tried to be nice
He immediately asked me out
When I said no he continued to pester me for months
During our first conversation he asked me about my porn preferences
He saw me walking home one day with my female friend somehow, I assume he was stalking me
The next day he was saying he was in love with my friend and was going to give her his class ring
He had never even spoken to her before
She called him a creep and he emailed her a long ass message going on about how she's cruel
My friend decided to pull a prank on him and set up a tumblr account to catfish him with
She messaged him "hi how are you"
He said "meh who are you"
She said "just some girl on the internet'
Immediately he goes "what do you think about a long distance relationship"
She goes on with this for a week until she gets bored and stops
A day after she stopped messaging him he starts whining about how he wants to kill himself
He did not
He instead messaged me a long message that concluded with "I'm super depressed and all my friends say I just need to get laid" as though he was expecting me to pity sex him.
When I told him off for it he claims he's only like this because his mom had an affair and he has depression and nobody cares. I told him to go to a psychiatrist and he said that he did and they never believed him. He continued to bother me for months even though I stopped responding to him.
Clearly never washed himself, absolutely covered in blemishes, worked as a janitor
He was stuck in a group project with me and i tried to be nice
He immediately asked me out
When I said no he continued to pester me for months
During our first conversation he asked me about my porn preferences
He saw me walking home one day with my female friend somehow, I assume he was stalking me
The next day he was saying he was in love with my friend and was going to give her his class ring
He had never even spoken to her before
She called him a creep and he emailed her a long ass message going on about how she's cruel
My friend decided to pull a prank on him and set up a tumblr account to catfish him with
She messaged him "hi how are you"
He said "meh who are you"
She said "just some girl on the internet'
Immediately he goes "what do you think about a long distance relationship"
She goes on with this for a week until she gets bored and stops
A day after she stopped messaging him he starts whining about how he wants to kill himself
He did not
He instead messaged me a long message that concluded with "I'm super depressed and all my friends say I just need to get laid" as though he was expecting me to pity sex him.
When I told him off for it he claims he's only like this because his mom had an affair and he has depression and nobody cares. I told him to go to a psychiatrist and he said that he did and they never believed him. He continued to bother me for months even though I stopped responding to him.
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2016
Does he still try to contact you or your friend?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
To my knowledge he hasn't contacted my friend at all, but as for me I still get messages from him every once and a while, I really cannot comprehend why he still does since I haven't given him any attention. He creeps me out.
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2016
What sort of messages does he send? Are they conversation starters like a simple "hello" or are the messages more desperate attempts at getting your attention?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
Sometimes it's a hello, sometimes it's a batman quote I didn't ask for sometimes it's
"So I just got Netflix. And there's just not enough blah blah blah on there for me yadda yadda come over to my place, we can hang in my basement and netflix."
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2016
There's a couple of idiots who are obsessed with a really disgusting Chicago neighborhood that never, ever give up on trying to get as much attention as they can on news blogs like "Everyblock".
There's this low level city council position called "alderman" and these fucks write about the guy in that neighborhood as if he were Lex Luthor and controls all he sees.
One guy was doxxed in 2013, his main account is "FGFM", the doxxing ultimately didn't stop him but for awhile he was in full tard panic whenever his real name, job and wife were mentioned. Whatever happened to him we really don't know, but in the past year he just shitposts one liners anymore and isn't much fun to spar with.
The lolcow that keeps on giving is this disabled artist guy who claims he runs an arts council and thinks he's some kind of anti gentrification activist. He's up there in years, grey hair and all and he constantly opens multiple accounts on neighborhood news sites to pimp his really shitty artwork. He will often go to crime related neighborhood meetings and sperg out and get removed by the police. For awhile he was pretending to not be himself, but somebody who represented himself and his artwork. Ultimately he started acknowledging he is indeed "Jeffrey", but no mention of the 9 months he wrote about himself in the third person. He honestly looks like an emaciated, BillyBob Thornton with Down's syndrome. He will shitpost nearly around the clock when he's manic. A good way to fuck with him is criticize his shitty watercolor paintings and he will tard out and post obsessively for the rest of the day.
There's this low level city council position called "alderman" and these fucks write about the guy in that neighborhood as if he were Lex Luthor and controls all he sees.
One guy was doxxed in 2013, his main account is "FGFM", the doxxing ultimately didn't stop him but for awhile he was in full tard panic whenever his real name, job and wife were mentioned. Whatever happened to him we really don't know, but in the past year he just shitposts one liners anymore and isn't much fun to spar with.
The lolcow that keeps on giving is this disabled artist guy who claims he runs an arts council and thinks he's some kind of anti gentrification activist. He's up there in years, grey hair and all and he constantly opens multiple accounts on neighborhood news sites to pimp his really shitty artwork. He will often go to crime related neighborhood meetings and sperg out and get removed by the police. For awhile he was pretending to not be himself, but somebody who represented himself and his artwork. Ultimately he started acknowledging he is indeed "Jeffrey", but no mention of the 9 months he wrote about himself in the third person. He honestly looks like an emaciated, BillyBob Thornton with Down's syndrome. He will shitpost nearly around the clock when he's manic. A good way to fuck with him is criticize his shitty watercolor paintings and he will tard out and post obsessively for the rest of the day.
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2016
It's pretty damn obvious what he wants from you. Maybe he should consider hiring
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
I was sure I had posted this story somewhere but I guess not. I had a run-in with a very...odd student at my college a few years ago. I for whatever reason attract weirdos and a lot of the time I have no idea what they're talking about but they insist on talking to me.
This particular day I was wearing my favorite jacket- a green military-style jacket with metal band patches that I get a lot of compliments on. I was hanging out somewhere between classes and an initially quite normal guy walks over and compliments me on it. He said some other thing that I didn't quite hear, and I really wonder if that one sentence I missed was the one thing I needed to hear for the entire proceeding story to make sense. Basically, he claimed to have a jacket just like it that he got from the same kind of street fight. He told me, under the assumption that I knew what he was talking about, about his own experience in the battle. I don't know what the hell he was on about, but what I managed to get from the whole story is that there are apparently these massive organized battle royale things in L.A and I guess you get a jacket if you don't die or whatever. I stood there nodding politely for what felt like 10 minutes as he told me how he took out a guy's kneecaps with a bike chain during a four hour battle ("Yours was probably only one or two hours" he said) against hundreds of other people. Now this was a chubby baby-faced filipino looking guy somewhere under 5'3 that was claiming 80's action movie level badassery. Needless to say I wasn't very convinced.
A few months later I learned from a mutual friend that our brave warrior is actually a pathological liar.
This particular day I was wearing my favorite jacket- a green military-style jacket with metal band patches that I get a lot of compliments on. I was hanging out somewhere between classes and an initially quite normal guy walks over and compliments me on it. He said some other thing that I didn't quite hear, and I really wonder if that one sentence I missed was the one thing I needed to hear for the entire proceeding story to make sense. Basically, he claimed to have a jacket just like it that he got from the same kind of street fight. He told me, under the assumption that I knew what he was talking about, about his own experience in the battle. I don't know what the hell he was on about, but what I managed to get from the whole story is that there are apparently these massive organized battle royale things in L.A and I guess you get a jacket if you don't die or whatever. I stood there nodding politely for what felt like 10 minutes as he told me how he took out a guy's kneecaps with a bike chain during a four hour battle ("Yours was probably only one or two hours" he said) against hundreds of other people. Now this was a chubby baby-faced filipino looking guy somewhere under 5'3 that was claiming 80's action movie level badassery. Needless to say I wasn't very convinced.
A few months later I learned from a mutual friend that our brave warrior is actually a pathological liar.
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2015
The technical limitations of 1993 made it impossible to find out anything else about people beyond what you had to learn first-hand by hanging around them, and that's sad because I'm seeing a lot of common behavior between all these cows and a guy I knew my Sophomore year in HS, "Rip"
Rip was a big lad, like, already morbidly obese. Dressed all in black, mostly metal band T-shirts at a time when hair metal was dying, and they were full of holes. He had greasy hair, bad acne, and a scraggly proto-beard on his puffy jowls. Yeah, he had a beard in 10th grade... because he kept getting held back for I assume, academic failure. This was back when they wouldn't just graduate you to get the hell out of there, if you didn't pass, you didn't pass. Rip was pretty much hanging around until he turned 18 and they could legally chuck him. It's worth noting the school had a vo tech program they tried to divert kids into who clearly weren't going to ever be good students to at least get them started on a trade before casting them into the real world, but Rip wasn't one of them. Either he didn't want to do it, or failed getting in to even that.
He always sat by himself in class and would periodically dip into his Army-Navy store surplus rucksack and pull out some amusements like a walkman ( it was the 90s') and would just do his own thing while we did the actual lessons. Which was good, he reeked of BO (seeing a pattern?)
The teachers didn't give a fuck about him, and I don't blame them. They'd sometimes actually slyly say things like "If you don't know how to do this, you'll end up like Rip" to which Rip would chuckle and go back to his comics/walkman, he thought the attention was grand....
Imagine all I'm omitting because I couldn't look up Rip on Facebook.... If I could remember his last name I'd see if Google knew of his eventual fate.
Rip was a big lad, like, already morbidly obese. Dressed all in black, mostly metal band T-shirts at a time when hair metal was dying, and they were full of holes. He had greasy hair, bad acne, and a scraggly proto-beard on his puffy jowls. Yeah, he had a beard in 10th grade... because he kept getting held back for I assume, academic failure. This was back when they wouldn't just graduate you to get the hell out of there, if you didn't pass, you didn't pass. Rip was pretty much hanging around until he turned 18 and they could legally chuck him. It's worth noting the school had a vo tech program they tried to divert kids into who clearly weren't going to ever be good students to at least get them started on a trade before casting them into the real world, but Rip wasn't one of them. Either he didn't want to do it, or failed getting in to even that.
He always sat by himself in class and would periodically dip into his Army-Navy store surplus rucksack and pull out some amusements like a walkman ( it was the 90s') and would just do his own thing while we did the actual lessons. Which was good, he reeked of BO (seeing a pattern?)
The teachers didn't give a fuck about him, and I don't blame them. They'd sometimes actually slyly say things like "If you don't know how to do this, you'll end up like Rip" to which Rip would chuckle and go back to his comics/walkman, he thought the attention was grand....
Imagine all I'm omitting because I couldn't look up Rip on Facebook.... If I could remember his last name I'd see if Google knew of his eventual fate.
R
RG 448
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Back on a forum I used to moderate, there was this guy that treated Legend of Zelda like a religion. By that I mean he literally believed it was all real and that people who didn't subscribe to his interpretation of the lore were doomed to the Zelda equivalent of hell. This belief extended to how he treated people who disagreed with him.
When he wasn't pontificating about video game heaven he was going on about some highschool friend he wanted but was dating a chad, who he bragged about treating like shit because the girl "needed" to be with him. He'd also discuss his plans to abuse his future children as a means of discipline, going into such vivid detail and treating the idea with such normalcy that the rest of the staff briefly considered contacting child services out of fear that he was being abused himself.
When he wasn't pontificating about video game heaven he was going on about some highschool friend he wanted but was dating a chad, who he bragged about treating like shit because the girl "needed" to be with him. He'd also discuss his plans to abuse his future children as a means of discipline, going into such vivid detail and treating the idea with such normalcy that the rest of the staff briefly considered contacting child services out of fear that he was being abused himself.
The Great Citracett
HERE COMES THE THE COCK BOAT! Set sail for dick.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2015
Here's one I was shown by a friend who discovered her and suggested I post her here.
So, I present to you: Lady Orisha.
She's a lolrandom eccentric super kawaii #AFRICANAMERICAN (yes she hashtags it and brings it up a lot) wannabe J-Pop star. Check her out.
Oh yes, she's got headmates, and she started a "band" called FROM MOM with them. She firmly believes she's going to move to Japan and be bigger than Pokemon. She's on quite a few websites, and has a lot of videos. They're... not very good. At all.
https://www.facebook.com/frommomofficial/
https://vimeo.com/user57984719
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq5GYoKKupBj_Z3dIcE_OQ
Here's what brought her to my friend's attention. She decided to invade a Japanese language forum and pester the admins to try and get her a record deal in Japan. Problem is, she doesn't know a word of Japanese. Except kawaii of course. What she does know is that she's like Brawndo, She's got what the Japanese crave, and she's not gonna let a language barrier stand in her way. She sasses the helpful staff (most of whom are native Japanese speakers) who are being friendly, starts reporting their posts (to them), then whines and makes some excuses and leaves in a huff.
Turns out she did stick around a bit longer. She went to a different sub to sperg about her love for Alison Rapp's favorite gay boys ice skating anime, "Yuri On Ice" for a bit.
Archive is here: http://archive.is/ORker
When I say she's everywhere online, I mean everywhere. She has stuff all over. I haven't gotten around to checking it all out yet. Despite this, her views and followers tend to be in the single digits.
She has a blog: http://ladyorishafrommomofficial.blogspot.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladyorisha01/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LadyOrisha
Photos/Videos: http://uploadsociety.com/user/LadyOrisha
She's a writer of short stories too: https://www.wattpad.com/user/LadyOrisha
This seems to be her Facebook. She's one of the 4 likes on her music page.
https://www.facebook.com/Orisha.pittman1
Not sure if she's threadworthy, but she's certainly interesting.
So, I present to you: Lady Orisha.
She's a lolrandom eccentric super kawaii #AFRICANAMERICAN (yes she hashtags it and brings it up a lot) wannabe J-Pop star. Check her out.
Oh yes, she's got headmates, and she started a "band" called FROM MOM with them. She firmly believes she's going to move to Japan and be bigger than Pokemon. She's on quite a few websites, and has a lot of videos. They're... not very good. At all.
https://www.facebook.com/frommomofficial/
https://vimeo.com/user57984719
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq5GYoKKupBj_Z3dIcE_OQ
Here's what brought her to my friend's attention. She decided to invade a Japanese language forum and pester the admins to try and get her a record deal in Japan. Problem is, she doesn't know a word of Japanese. Except kawaii of course. What she does know is that she's like Brawndo, She's got what the Japanese crave, and she's not gonna let a language barrier stand in her way. She sasses the helpful staff (most of whom are native Japanese speakers) who are being friendly, starts reporting their posts (to them), then whines and makes some excuses and leaves in a huff.
Archive is here: http://archive.is/ORker
When I say she's everywhere online, I mean everywhere. She has stuff all over. I haven't gotten around to checking it all out yet. Despite this, her views and followers tend to be in the single digits.
She has a blog: http://ladyorishafrommomofficial.blogspot.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladyorisha01/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LadyOrisha
Photos/Videos: http://uploadsociety.com/user/LadyOrisha
She's a writer of short stories too: https://www.wattpad.com/user/LadyOrisha
This seems to be her Facebook. She's one of the 4 likes on her music page.
https://www.facebook.com/Orisha.pittman1
Not sure if she's threadworthy, but she's certainly interesting.
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2016
Her music sounds like baby's first FL Studio song. The compression she did in her voice is laughably bad to the point you can't even understand what she's even saying. Ironic considering that she posted lyrics of her song and even the lyrics themselves make no sense.
The Great Citracett
HERE COMES THE THE COCK BOAT! Set sail for dick.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2015
I honestly know next to nothing about Japan or Japanese culture, but I remember hearing somewhere that they don't exactly think highly of black people. Which might be a bit of a problem seeing as it's this girl's main selling point, and the thing she seems to think will make her unique among all the other Japanophile girls wanting to be J-pop stars.
And nothing about her music strikes me as J-pop in any way.
And nothing about her music strikes me as J-pop in any way.