- Joined
- Dec 4, 2018
While sitting in a parking lot, from a OnePlus connected to McDonald’s free WiFi.
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
- Thread starter Judge Holden
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2023
There's a troon that pops up on my dash pretty often who seems to have trauma based psychosis after a genuinely horrific event. He believes that his facebook page could have prevented the loss of life and has devised so many different schemes to try and validate his delusion.
The most unhinged thing, so far, was him calling 80% of his local businesses complacent in sexual assault and pedophilia. He also uses his young child and dogs as meat shields to avoid accountability and stay in public favor. He's probably worthy of a thread, but I don't have the patience to look at him for very long.
The most unhinged thing, so far, was him calling 80% of his local businesses complacent in sexual assault and pedophilia. He also uses his young child and dogs as meat shields to avoid accountability and stay in public favor. He's probably worthy of a thread, but I don't have the patience to look at him for very long.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2019
There are no shortage of schizos in rock collecting groups. Shane really speaks to me because not only do the rocks speak to him, he's seeing story stones in his cheeseburger too.
countrybumpkin
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Another check-in with my personal lolcow. She wants her boyfriend to buy her a new phone, is mad that neither her boyfriend nor her parents got her any "Thanksgiving gifts," and claims that men aren't actually attracted to thin women.
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
I knew a guy autistic enough to create a conlang. That's fine, good for him, there are worse ways to spend one's time. But he cursed in it. I don't mean he tried -teaching- it to people. I mean he was one of those people who would say the equivalent of "oh damn it" in his made-up alien Klingon language as if anyone around him would understand what the hell he was saying. That's some 'tism.
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2025
Hey all, it’s been a while. Today I’ve come with an update on Zack, who I posted about a few months back. You can find my essay in this thread, but long story short, he’s a creep that my parents forced me to be friends with, and he later became my personal lolcow after all his creepy phases; most notably the fact that he is an ABDL. This won’t be anywhere near as long.
A few days ago, someone I didn’t recognize added me on Facebook. After seeing that we had several mutual friends and live in the same town, I added them back. She didn’t know me either, was just trying to make new friends with people nearby. After talking for a bit, turns out we have a lot of common interests. Eventually, the subject changes to the school we went to, and seeing that she was only 2 years younger than me, I asked her if she knew Zack. And boy, did she know him. I’m sharing this here with her permission.
When my friend was in 6th grade and Zack and I would have been in 8th grade, he had a crush on her and tried to date her. They “dated” for a week, and then my friend said she didn’t feel right due to the age gap and wasn’t ready for a relationship, ultimately chalking it up to stupid middle school puppy love. Mind you, this was about the same time that Zack claimed to be gay and was creeping on my best friend and I. Come high school, she’s a freshman and Zack and I are juniors. Immediately Zack tries to date her again, despite claiming to be gay. This was before he started faking being trans. Zack said he “never got over her” despite the fact that their “relationship” only lasted a week and they hadn’t seen each other in nearly 3 years. She stayed friends with Zack because she had a lot of trouble making friends, and she didn’t want to be alone. I feel bad now, because I remembered seeing her in school hanging out with Zack, and immediately wrote her off as weird for being friends with him.
Remember how in my original post, Zack tried to get people to call him Herobrine? Eventually, he started saying he was Dipper from Gravity Falls. I didn’t know about this until today, so that’s why I didn’t mention it before. My friend liked Bill Cipher (I know nothing about this show btw, just going off what she told me), and said Zack would find weird ship art of the two characters and say “this is us,” despite my friend repeatedly saying she wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. Zack also tried to convince my friend she was actually Bill Cipher in real life, just like how he was calling himself Dipper and Herobrine before. My friend believed him though, later attributed to having mild schizophrenia. When she told Zack she thought maybe she was Bill, and not to tell anyone, Zack told all of her friends who ridiculed and made fun of her. Luckily, thanks to years of therapy and medication, my friend no longer has any of these delusional thoughts. On that subject, during Zack’s Herobrine phase, he told me that maybe I’m secretly a character I liked. He told me that he thought I was Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh, but I didn’t entertain the idea and he dropped it.
A couple years ago, Zack contacted my friend after not speaking for a few years. They were catching up, and eventually Zack mentioned his first move to California, and wanted my friend to go with her due to her not having the best relationship with her family. My friend was reluctant, and told him she’d just graduated, had no money saved up, and also wasn’t willing to move so far away without a job lined up or without knowing many people. Zack did tell her about his ABDL shit, and my friend assumed that he only did it behind closed doors. She’s far more open minded than me, and was okay with it if he kept it to himself. Zack said that she’d have to fully be okay with him wearing diapers and shitting himself around the house, and asked if she’d be willing to change him if he needed it. My friend simply told him that she wasn’t comfortable with that and politely shut down his invite. Zack took it as a personal attack, as he always did.
Zack reached out to her again recently, and she agreed to add him on Discord. I’m going to edit out his profile picture due to him having it as his real life face for some fucking reason, and his name.
This says all you need to know about him. My friend said she didn’t at all expect this when she agreed to add him. All he talked about was how good Germany is, his diaper fetish, and how fucked up our hometown is. I’m not sure how long ago this was, but when I told her today about everything in my previous post, she deleted and blocked him on all social media.
One reason why Zack hates our hometown so much, not only because he burned every bridge he had, is because he apparently had it so bad being gay. Literally no one cares that he’s gay. He never got bullied for it in school, or for anything else, despite his claims. The reason this angers me so much is because I had a friend in high school who’s gay. He got bullied relentlessly for it, and the school did absolutely nothing. Eventually, it got to be so much he slit his wrists, and spent a couple years in foster care and a mental hospital, before eventually transferring schools. Zack never got bullied ever, because everyone thought he was retarded. The only thing that ever happened to him was someone snipped his headphones with scissors when he wouldn’t stop singing in the hallway.
The last thing I have, is I have all his social media, most notably a Twitter and Bluesky. I won’t share them here, mostly out of fear of my location being doxed, but they’re exactly what you’d expect. Ironically, in my original post, I compared him to Andy Ditch, and he replied to a post about Andy saying “we don’t claim him.” He’s also a big supporter of some faggot ABDL streamer by the name of BabyDreamsy, and that name alone tells me all I need to know, so I won’t be looking into him. If I hear anything else about Zack, I’ll post it here, but I’m not sure I want to know. Moral of the story is… don’t be friends with the weird kid. There’s usually a pretty good reason why they have no friends.
A few days ago, someone I didn’t recognize added me on Facebook. After seeing that we had several mutual friends and live in the same town, I added them back. She didn’t know me either, was just trying to make new friends with people nearby. After talking for a bit, turns out we have a lot of common interests. Eventually, the subject changes to the school we went to, and seeing that she was only 2 years younger than me, I asked her if she knew Zack. And boy, did she know him. I’m sharing this here with her permission.
When my friend was in 6th grade and Zack and I would have been in 8th grade, he had a crush on her and tried to date her. They “dated” for a week, and then my friend said she didn’t feel right due to the age gap and wasn’t ready for a relationship, ultimately chalking it up to stupid middle school puppy love. Mind you, this was about the same time that Zack claimed to be gay and was creeping on my best friend and I. Come high school, she’s a freshman and Zack and I are juniors. Immediately Zack tries to date her again, despite claiming to be gay. This was before he started faking being trans. Zack said he “never got over her” despite the fact that their “relationship” only lasted a week and they hadn’t seen each other in nearly 3 years. She stayed friends with Zack because she had a lot of trouble making friends, and she didn’t want to be alone. I feel bad now, because I remembered seeing her in school hanging out with Zack, and immediately wrote her off as weird for being friends with him.
Remember how in my original post, Zack tried to get people to call him Herobrine? Eventually, he started saying he was Dipper from Gravity Falls. I didn’t know about this until today, so that’s why I didn’t mention it before. My friend liked Bill Cipher (I know nothing about this show btw, just going off what she told me), and said Zack would find weird ship art of the two characters and say “this is us,” despite my friend repeatedly saying she wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. Zack also tried to convince my friend she was actually Bill Cipher in real life, just like how he was calling himself Dipper and Herobrine before. My friend believed him though, later attributed to having mild schizophrenia. When she told Zack she thought maybe she was Bill, and not to tell anyone, Zack told all of her friends who ridiculed and made fun of her. Luckily, thanks to years of therapy and medication, my friend no longer has any of these delusional thoughts. On that subject, during Zack’s Herobrine phase, he told me that maybe I’m secretly a character I liked. He told me that he thought I was Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh, but I didn’t entertain the idea and he dropped it.
A couple years ago, Zack contacted my friend after not speaking for a few years. They were catching up, and eventually Zack mentioned his first move to California, and wanted my friend to go with her due to her not having the best relationship with her family. My friend was reluctant, and told him she’d just graduated, had no money saved up, and also wasn’t willing to move so far away without a job lined up or without knowing many people. Zack did tell her about his ABDL shit, and my friend assumed that he only did it behind closed doors. She’s far more open minded than me, and was okay with it if he kept it to himself. Zack said that she’d have to fully be okay with him wearing diapers and shitting himself around the house, and asked if she’d be willing to change him if he needed it. My friend simply told him that she wasn’t comfortable with that and politely shut down his invite. Zack took it as a personal attack, as he always did.
Zack reached out to her again recently, and she agreed to add him on Discord. I’m going to edit out his profile picture due to him having it as his real life face for some fucking reason, and his name.
This says all you need to know about him. My friend said she didn’t at all expect this when she agreed to add him. All he talked about was how good Germany is, his diaper fetish, and how fucked up our hometown is. I’m not sure how long ago this was, but when I told her today about everything in my previous post, she deleted and blocked him on all social media.
One reason why Zack hates our hometown so much, not only because he burned every bridge he had, is because he apparently had it so bad being gay. Literally no one cares that he’s gay. He never got bullied for it in school, or for anything else, despite his claims. The reason this angers me so much is because I had a friend in high school who’s gay. He got bullied relentlessly for it, and the school did absolutely nothing. Eventually, it got to be so much he slit his wrists, and spent a couple years in foster care and a mental hospital, before eventually transferring schools. Zack never got bullied ever, because everyone thought he was retarded. The only thing that ever happened to him was someone snipped his headphones with scissors when he wouldn’t stop singing in the hallway.
The last thing I have, is I have all his social media, most notably a Twitter and Bluesky. I won’t share them here, mostly out of fear of my location being doxed, but they’re exactly what you’d expect. Ironically, in my original post, I compared him to Andy Ditch, and he replied to a post about Andy saying “we don’t claim him.” He’s also a big supporter of some faggot ABDL streamer by the name of BabyDreamsy, and that name alone tells me all I need to know, so I won’t be looking into him. If I hear anything else about Zack, I’ll post it here, but I’m not sure I want to know. Moral of the story is… don’t be friends with the weird kid. There’s usually a pretty good reason why they have no friends.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
For the uninitiated, this is like saying that you're unironically crazier than Hitler.
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2025
A long time friend who moved away, but looking back on it he was about to enter the pipeline. Absolute Hamplanet that puts Jerr to shame, lived in absolute squalor throughout middle and high school, though that's not his fault as his single mom was a meth head. Began drawing and writing as an escape, which is a good thing imo. Honing a craft so you can escape crippling poverty is a proven strat. However his art and writing was never really good. To this day he's still working on three series of books (which will TOTALLY get published btw) that range from "that's a neat idea" to a pitiful smile and lie about how fresh and new it is. Got engaged to a Pooner and after losing a potentially fruitful career in the restaurant business, has been cared for by a weirdly generous programmer. I don't know why the programmer does this, except for the notion that he gets Pooner sex along with the other two buck broken bpd girls he groomed into a poly relationship. My friend was always a good person, and I'll miss staying up until 7am on weekends drinking, watching television, and talking about everything. I just hope he doesn't get caught up in weird cult shenanigans
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2025
Boy oh boy, I wonder if our hero discovered my posts. Received a couple very interesting messages on PSN. Guess I still had him as a friend and didn’t remember. I don’t play many online games so I don’t look at my friend’s list much.
I know what you’re thinking, is my friend a mole? No. She swears up and down she didn’t contact him, and even showed me her most recent DMs to prove it. Her theory is that Zack noticed she blocked him and attributed it to that. Anywho, I’ve got no idea what he’s on about. Even if he has our old messages, what’s he gonna do? Whine about how I told him it’s wrong to force his fetish on others? The long distance relationship comment I’ll explain. I was in a relationship with a girl from the Netherlands. We talked for several months online and eventually met in real life at a convention and stayed together before we even considered it a relationship. Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. Our relationship eventually fell apart due to the distance and some moral differences. He thinks that I’m jealous of his marriage. They knew each other for barely a year and got married. They met in real life a single time between then. Yeah, my relationship lasted longer than him meeting his husband to their marriage.
Thought you all might get some laughs, even if this one is at my own expense.
I know what you’re thinking, is my friend a mole? No. She swears up and down she didn’t contact him, and even showed me her most recent DMs to prove it. Her theory is that Zack noticed she blocked him and attributed it to that. Anywho, I’ve got no idea what he’s on about. Even if he has our old messages, what’s he gonna do? Whine about how I told him it’s wrong to force his fetish on others? The long distance relationship comment I’ll explain. I was in a relationship with a girl from the Netherlands. We talked for several months online and eventually met in real life at a convention and stayed together before we even considered it a relationship. Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. Our relationship eventually fell apart due to the distance and some moral differences. He thinks that I’m jealous of his marriage. They knew each other for barely a year and got married. They met in real life a single time between then. Yeah, my relationship lasted longer than him meeting his husband to their marriage.
Thought you all might get some laughs, even if this one is at my own expense.
MunsterCheeseJr
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2022
I don't think this person deserves a full thread yet. But Null mentioned him in the last kiwifarms stream. And I happened to find a couple more items about him that make him far more interesting.
Grant Harting.
His main claim to fame is being a pharmasist that consumes all numbers of dubious gas station and over the counter drugs just to show you how bad they are.
His channel is here.
And then he uploaded this gem, of "side parenting" for people who don't have kids. You can just pick up some other person's kid for a day and parent them.... He picked up a half Guatemalan girl to parent. I think he was riding with some hispanic hambeast. That might be his girlfriend or wife. Well worth watching.
And in this gem, he talks about his time in a criminal psychiatric facility as a young adult. He talks about all of the crazy insane people he lived with in the facility. But he doesn't tell you what crime he committed to be sent there. And in his first person narrative, he is always the calm reasonable sane person in the looney bin.
Press X to doubt.
Grant Harting.
His main claim to fame is being a pharmasist that consumes all numbers of dubious gas station and over the counter drugs just to show you how bad they are.
His channel is here.
And then he uploaded this gem, of "side parenting" for people who don't have kids. You can just pick up some other person's kid for a day and parent them.... He picked up a half Guatemalan girl to parent. I think he was riding with some hispanic hambeast. That might be his girlfriend or wife. Well worth watching.
And in this gem, he talks about his time in a criminal psychiatric facility as a young adult. He talks about all of the crazy insane people he lived with in the facility. But he doesn't tell you what crime he committed to be sent there. And in his first person narrative, he is always the calm reasonable sane person in the looney bin.
Press X to doubt.
Unmarked white van
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2025
There was this guy I went to high school with who was a absolute weirdo. He would constantly attempt to manipulate people but was so hilariously bad at it no one fell for it, he would also be extremely creepy to anyone he found attractive.
I was never really friends with him we just shared a few mutual friends so I would end up hanging out with him occasionally, I didn't really get the impression that he was weird at first, he just seemed quite and a bit socially awkward.
He started to show his true colors when the covid pandemic hit and everyone was forced to stay inside, he started to act very passive aggressive towards everyone he knew and made a ton of homophobic jokes (even thought he was bisexual) I don't know if covid gave him brain damage or if he always wanted to act like this and being behind a screen gave him the balls to do so.
He started being a problem for me when he somehow got introduced to my younger sister and started hitting on her, she was 13 and he was 15, sadly the age gap wasn't large enough to get him thrown in jail for creeping on her. He tried to pressure her in to a relationship becuase he knew that she had a hard time saying no, he managed to get into a relationship with her but it only lasted around 2 weeks, during the relationship he would be verbally abusive towards her and tried to push he away from he friends.
After the relationship ended he would try to harass her and her and he turned a friend group that they shared against her. After my sister ignored him for a while he eventually gave up.
But he wasn't done being a thorn in my side, around 3 months later he decided it would be a good idea to try to steal my at the time boyfriend. He decided to slide on to his DMs on Discord and tried to manipulate him in to leaving me, his manipulation attempts where so awful that my boyfriend instantly caught on and told me about it, we thought it was hilariously pathetic and decided to mess with him a bit before we cut him off. Every time he would try to hangout with my boyfriend I would show up to make sure they never got to spend any time alone together, this really irritated him. After a while we got bored of messing with him cut him off.
He didn't bother us for a while, but like the absolute idiot he is he thought it would be a good idea to fake a suicide attempt to get my sister and my boyfriend to talk to him again. He said that he attempted suicide but cutting his wrists, but then not even a day later he sent my sister a photo of himself where his wrists didn't any scars on them. After my sister called him out for faking suicide he freaked out and blocked her and anyone she was friends with (including me) he also got us banned from Discord servers that he had admin in becuase he was afraid that we were going to tell people that he was a creep.
Later I learned that he was doing similar things to other people he knew, turns out he has a history of doing this type of stuff. Not sure what he's up to these days, I haven't talked to him or any of his friends since he blocked me 6 years ago.
I was never really friends with him we just shared a few mutual friends so I would end up hanging out with him occasionally, I didn't really get the impression that he was weird at first, he just seemed quite and a bit socially awkward.
He started to show his true colors when the covid pandemic hit and everyone was forced to stay inside, he started to act very passive aggressive towards everyone he knew and made a ton of homophobic jokes (even thought he was bisexual) I don't know if covid gave him brain damage or if he always wanted to act like this and being behind a screen gave him the balls to do so.
He started being a problem for me when he somehow got introduced to my younger sister and started hitting on her, she was 13 and he was 15, sadly the age gap wasn't large enough to get him thrown in jail for creeping on her. He tried to pressure her in to a relationship becuase he knew that she had a hard time saying no, he managed to get into a relationship with her but it only lasted around 2 weeks, during the relationship he would be verbally abusive towards her and tried to push he away from he friends.
After the relationship ended he would try to harass her and her and he turned a friend group that they shared against her. After my sister ignored him for a while he eventually gave up.
But he wasn't done being a thorn in my side, around 3 months later he decided it would be a good idea to try to steal my at the time boyfriend. He decided to slide on to his DMs on Discord and tried to manipulate him in to leaving me, his manipulation attempts where so awful that my boyfriend instantly caught on and told me about it, we thought it was hilariously pathetic and decided to mess with him a bit before we cut him off. Every time he would try to hangout with my boyfriend I would show up to make sure they never got to spend any time alone together, this really irritated him. After a while we got bored of messing with him cut him off.
He didn't bother us for a while, but like the absolute idiot he is he thought it would be a good idea to fake a suicide attempt to get my sister and my boyfriend to talk to him again. He said that he attempted suicide but cutting his wrists, but then not even a day later he sent my sister a photo of himself where his wrists didn't any scars on them. After my sister called him out for faking suicide he freaked out and blocked her and anyone she was friends with (including me) he also got us banned from Discord servers that he had admin in becuase he was afraid that we were going to tell people that he was a creep.
Later I learned that he was doing similar things to other people he knew, turns out he has a history of doing this type of stuff. Not sure what he's up to these days, I haven't talked to him or any of his friends since he blocked me 6 years ago.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2019
I found the picture that I wanted to include in my post. This is by far my favorite post in the rock group.
Tiny people perishing in a deluge will live rent free in my head forever.
Tiny people perishing in a deluge will live rent free in my head forever.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2014
Been keeping tabs on Kawayoporu-chan (aka Kottylingual, Motherofmydaughter99, BellaTheCuppycake and a dozen more) since 2024-ish (she's being quiet lately, but eventually I'll probably make a thread). Attached are a few samples of her chimping out. Shit, Tor didn't let me. Moved them over to Imgbox: 1 2 3 4
Tl;dr: A 20+ womanbaby, autistic, born as a "preemie" (c) and demanding everyone to "have piece and patients" with her because of that.
Tl;dr: A 20+ womanbaby, autistic, born as a "preemie" (c) and demanding everyone to "have piece and patients" with her because of that.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2025
Absolutely solid advice. At the start of 8th grade (the start of high school here) by chance I happened to sit next to this ginger kid who seemed okay, he seemed very extroverted and had lots of energy which I thought was pretty cool I guess for a bunch of kids all nervous about their first day in HS. I was friendly to him for probably the first week, but pretty after that I realized that he was one of "those kids" wasn't too long that shit started to happen with him and I was quite glad that I saw the signs and dipped out of that situation.
Interesting posts you've made, thanks for putting in the effort to type it all out. Really amazes me the audacity of some people and how brazen they are with forcing their fucked up degen shit on to everyone else. A lot of people have weird sex shit going on their head, it's not uncommon (especially these days) but it used to be that people kept it to themselves and maybe the person they're banging. It needs to go back to that.
Tyronneasaurus Rex
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2026
My upstairs neighbor, they're a nice couple usually but the downside to living where I live is I can hear so many things. Especially when the husband (if they're married, I dunno if they are or not) has his utter meltdowns out of the blue, I end up hearing him crash out either because someone said something to him a way he doesn't like or because they don't fuck often (Thin walls are fun but aggravating, I mention that yet?). He looooooves talking about dying all the time and has threatened to kill himself all the fucking time.
The ironic thing is I've spoken to him before and he talks up a lot about emotional regulation and I assume that means others need to do it but apparently not him. Probably less lolcow and more horrorcow but eh, I find the emotional maturity of a toddler to be darkly humorous.
The ironic thing is I've spoken to him before and he talks up a lot about emotional regulation and I assume that means others need to do it but apparently not him. Probably less lolcow and more horrorcow but eh, I find the emotional maturity of a toddler to be darkly humorous.
Twilight Twill*^
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2023
Be prepared that your neighbor pulls a Chris Watts, IYKYK.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2025
Could this count, when i was in high school one of the cafeteria servers was a brony, he was this fat, long haired, ginger haired fuck and he would wear my little pony shirts and had fucking toys and shit on top of his side of the cafeteria serving line, gayest fucking man-baby you'd ever see, and the next school year he was gone from the school. Don't know what happened to him, probably killed himself or maybe trooned out or something.
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2025
At work there was a coworker who had burned 200 acres of forest because she was off her meds at the time.
Why was she on meds, you ask? Because years ago she responded in the worst possible way to an imminent collision on the highway, swerved into oncoming traffic, and killed a young woman.
Management failed to do a proper background check before hiring her. We only found out because she thought they were looking at mugshots in the office before verbally expressing a hope that they weren't going to look up hers. Good job at self-snitching, you moron.
She was never a particularly good employee and got pipped because she kept forgetting when her shift began. She was eventually fired when she decided to smoke weed in the restroom and refused a drug test, stating that she would fail.
Why was she on meds, you ask? Because years ago she responded in the worst possible way to an imminent collision on the highway, swerved into oncoming traffic, and killed a young woman.
Management failed to do a proper background check before hiring her. We only found out because she thought they were looking at mugshots in the office before verbally expressing a hope that they weren't going to look up hers. Good job at self-snitching, you moron.
She was never a particularly good employee and got pipped because she kept forgetting when her shift began. She was eventually fired when she decided to smoke weed in the restroom and refused a drug test, stating that she would fail.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
I thought that they've banned people from driving for several years for doing this shit instead of just giving them psych meds?