Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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To be fair, that Max guy that you listed sounds like he fits the bill for a lolcow. At least if your account is anything to go by.
 
Thanks, Surtur!

I'm intrigued. Reminds me of someone I know. Post the story about why he hates children, if you would.

Your wish is my command!

So, I think I mentioned this, but The Director was a gamer, but only liked games with deep story elements, unless they were either made by Nintendo or had some third party material he could fall back on, like the Marvel universe. Because of this, he absolutely hated the GTA series...until he heard the announcement of 4. The very moment someone compared the game to a movie on the forums he frequented, he was head over heels for it, but only owned a Wii. I, however, owned me a HEXbox and snatched that son of a gun up as soon as I could. As soon as he found out, he begged and pleaded for me to let him try it at the next session. I agreed, but warned him that if my 7-year-old brother was home, it'd have to wait. The Director reluctantly agreed.
The next session rolled around and, much to the Director's dismay, my bro stayed home from his dad's that weekend. Now, a bit of context, the DnD sessions lasted most of the day, starting around 9 am and ended usually sometime between 3-6 pm with about an hour break in the middle. The Director begged my brother to hang out in his room that day, but mum put a stop to that, telling him that my brother was as welcome to hang out with us as he was. This shut The Director up for a while until the break rolled around, when he started back up trying to kick my brother out of the room, this time by raising his voice at him.
My brother was never in the way and loved hanging out with all of us, so it was rather unwarrented, not to mention the fact that mum was still within earshot. The Director got yelled at again, and backed off for a while...However, when the time was nearing six and people were trickling out, he tried one last shot. He picked up my brother (minorly hurting him in the process, I think a bruise or something), took him out on our porch, dropped him and locked the door as he walked back in. "There, he's busy, can I see the game now?" Needless to say, mum came flying down the stairs and lost her shit. He was banned from the sessions for months afterword. He didn't get permanently banned, however. That's another story... From that day, he forever cursed my brother's name and blamed him for not getting to enjoy GTA 4.

If you want any more, I got a few left over!
 
Thanks, Surtur!



Your wish is my command!

So, I think I mentioned this, but The Director was a gamer, but only liked games with deep story elements, unless they were either made by Nintendo or had some third party material he could fall back on, like the Marvel universe. Because of this, he absolutely hated the GTA series...until he heard the announcement of 4. The very moment someone compared the game to a movie on the forums he frequented, he was head over heels for it, but only owned a Wii. I, however, owned me a HEXbox and snatched that son of a gun up as soon as I could. As soon as he found out, he begged and pleaded for me to let him try it at the next session. I agreed, but warned him that if my 7-year-old brother was home, it'd have to wait. The Director reluctantly agreed.
The next session rolled around and, much to the Director's dismay, my bro stayed home from his dad's that weekend. Now, a bit of context, the DnD sessions lasted most of the day, starting around 9 am and ended usually sometime between 3-6 pm with about an hour break in the middle. The Director begged my brother to hang out in his room that day, but mum put a stop to that, telling him that my brother was as welcome to hang out with us as he was. This shut The Director up for a while until the break rolled around, when he started back up trying to kick my brother out of the room, this time by raising his voice at him.
My brother was never in the way and loved hanging out with all of us, so it was rather unwarrented, not to mention the fact that mum was still within earshot. The Director got yelled at again, and backed off for a while...However, when the time was nearing six and people were trickling out, he tried one last shot. He picked up my brother (minorly hurting him in the process, I think a bruise or something), took him out on our porch, dropped him and locked the door as he walked back in. "There, he's busy, can I see the game now?" Needless to say, mum came flying down the stairs and lost her shit. He was banned from the sessions for months afterword. He didn't get permanently banned, however. That's another story... From that day, he forever cursed my brother's name and blamed him for not getting to enjoy GTA 4.

If you want any more, I got a few left over!

Damn. Just picked him up and dropped him outside like in The Flintstones. That is some shit. Thanks for delivering!
 
I know a kinda famous person who is a Lolcow. I used to be friends with their nephew when I was 8.
 
-My Little Pony
-Favorite store is Hot Topic
-Blink-182 and Greenday
-13

:P
 
A lot of these stories feature people from the tellers' childhood, so I don't consider age a problem.

Max does sound pretty whiny, but showcasing his underwear... wtf was that about.
 
I've got a story today, oh man do i have one.

I'll just call this kid Max. Yeah, Max. He had a different name, but whatever. I don't really care.

Anyways, i met Max when i was 11 at a comic camp. Max was similar to me. He liked video games and stuff, and was a bit socially awkward at the time, for reasons i found out later. Anyways, we became good friends and i heard he was going into the same middle as me, so that was great news because my best friend went to a different school, as you might know if you read my biography on my page.

Anyways, Max was fine at the start of the school year. He seemed harmless and actually sort of defended me. From the start one thing bugged me. He whined over fucking everything. "Noooo i don't want to!" and stuff like that like a 1st grader.

He started to get annoying as the year went on. When we switched electives and he was in a Mythology elective with my other friend, he got really defensive when i said i didn't like Mythology. I was taking Home Economics at that time and i was having a blast in it. Anywho he got annoying and constantly begged to be around me and my other friend, when me and my friends just kind of wanted some times to ourselves at his house.

He wasn't very respectible at my house. He treated it like it's own. He left his socks at my house once, which i actually still have, well i will have before i set them on fire. No, just kidding. That would be fun though. One time my other friend was at my house with Max and we were trying to beat Sonic R because we were bored as fuck. He kept whining about wanting to play Super Smash Bros Brawl.

All he really did when i invited him over to my birthday party is follow around my cat. He had some strange interest in cats because i think one of his parents were like allergic to cats or something. Anyways, his mom was annoying as fuck. I liked his dad, he was cool, even though my other friend at the time (not my friend anymore, i fucking hate him) hated Max's dad because he didn't know what DLC was and played games.

Anywho, one time me and Max were going to go outside, but Max was wearing pants and his mom said he needed to change into shorts. He invited me up, and i said f it, i'll just go. Waiting downstairs would be boring. When he did, he pulled down his pants and he was wearing... briefs. Yeah, not boxers. It was weird. Then he fucking like showcased me all his fucking pairs of underwear. And to my knowledge, he isn't gay.

Another time, i was at my other friends house, and he plays a big part in this story, so let's call him Micheal for this whole "M" kick. Anyways, Micheal was showcasing off his HyperScan (A shitty system made by mattel) and told us how shitty it was, and we played it for fun. You see, back then, we would go to Micheal's house some weekends and play shitty games, play good games, and order pizza.

Anywho, Micheal made a JOKE saying that the HyperScan was so bad, it made him piss himself. After that, Max went up, PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS (micheal was in the bathroom) and he had this huge piss-stain on his freaking blue briefs. It was so scarring and honestly i'm trying to forget that EVER HAPPENED.

Max also had this whole stupid fucking rule where he HAD TO GET ON the bus before me. Yeah. And if i got on before him, he'd bitch and whine about it. It was so fucking stupid. Also, he said i had "bad habits" when i made some catchphrases were stupid. By this point, i knew i didn't want to be friends with this little shit anymore.

One problem; we signed up for the same fucking camp.

So yeah, i got into Homestuck the week before camp. Max had some big problem with it; Saying "it was shitty" and that sort. He fucking nagged and nagged about it and kept calling it "Homefuck" and i just got pissed. I had 2 other camps. So i made a plan to say he wasn't my friend anymore. In Minecraft camp, he got pissy at me because i watched a Homestuck video and also my skin was Tavros.

Anyways, when the final camp rolled around the clock, he had this friend with him in it, who kept pissing me off, they were like fucking partners in crime. After that happened, i said he wasn't my friend anymore, and acted all sassy about it, like "Fine." It was so stupid, but i was so fucking happy after it happened. I've got some more stories about this kid, and here's the list of facts:

-Max had some big hatred for MLP:FIM when he said he saw it once and said it was okay and called it "retarded"
-Max also had some big hatred for Hot Topic, which is my favorite store. He said it was for "emo punks" like any immature dumbass 3rd grader would say about Hot Topic, when in realization, all he wore were shirts from like Target and Walmart that his parents probably picked out and shitty basketball shorts.
-One time Max fucking cried because the bus was like a minute late.
-Max tried to act all "Cool" saying he didn't go trick-or-treating that halloween.
Ok he's banned now, but Minecraft camp? I'm in my early 20's and this made me seem very old. In my day all we did at camp was go canoeing and hike, not play a video game :sighduck:
 
A lot of these stories feature people from the tellers' childhood, so I don't consider age a problem.

Max does sound pretty whiny, but showcasing his underwear... wtf was that about.
Personally, I think it's funnier if they're in their late teens and on because it's more awkward for an adult to do things like that. Most kids grow out of that shit.
 
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Why did he get banned?

Because either:

A) He was a really bad troll

or

B) He really was 13, revealing way too much personal info on how much of a potential Lolcow he would be and would of ended up being a target.
 
Thanks, Surtur!



Your wish is my command!

So, I think I mentioned this, but The Director was a gamer, but only liked games with deep story elements, unless they were either made by Nintendo or had some third party material he could fall back on, like the Marvel universe. Because of this, he absolutely hated the GTA series...until he heard the announcement of 4. The very moment someone compared the game to a movie on the forums he frequented, he was head over heels for it, but only owned a Wii. I, however, owned me a HEXbox and snatched that son of a gun up as soon as I could. As soon as he found out, he begged and pleaded for me to let him try it at the next session. I agreed, but warned him that if my 7-year-old brother was home, it'd have to wait. The Director reluctantly agreed.
The next session rolled around and, much to the Director's dismay, my bro stayed home from his dad's that weekend. Now, a bit of context, the DnD sessions lasted most of the day, starting around 9 am and ended usually sometime between 3-6 pm with about an hour break in the middle. The Director begged my brother to hang out in his room that day, but mum put a stop to that, telling him that my brother was as welcome to hang out with us as he was. This shut The Director up for a while until the break rolled around, when he started back up trying to kick my brother out of the room, this time by raising his voice at him.
My brother was never in the way and loved hanging out with all of us, so it was rather unwarrented, not to mention the fact that mum was still within earshot. The Director got yelled at again, and backed off for a while...However, when the time was nearing six and people were trickling out, he tried one last shot. He picked up my brother (minorly hurting him in the process, I think a bruise or something), took him out on our porch, dropped him and locked the door as he walked back in. "There, he's busy, can I see the game now?" Needless to say, mum came flying down the stairs and lost her shit. He was banned from the sessions for months afterword. He didn't get permanently banned, however. That's another story... From that day, he forever cursed my brother's name and blamed him for not getting to enjoy GTA 4.
Wow. what an idiot. He could have tried to trick him or something. But sheesh. Bad move on his part.

If you want any more, I got a few left over!

Now that i think of it, it does sound more like a immature dumbass....
Hope the door didn't hit him on the way out.
 
OK. This fourth of JULAAYYY, I think my family was sort of "Barbed" by a mother with a young son with autism. I would appreciate feedback.
The autistic child in question is a young boy, who my mother has been working with for the past year, to help him read. My mother is training to be an aide in an autism room at a public school. The child is basically nonverbal, but is very friendly and can say "hello Fifthcolumn) if someone tells him to say it to me.
Anyway he and his mother come to our fourth of JULAAYY barbecue, and almost immediatly, he jumps in our pool (swimsuit on and everything) and begins swimming around in a circle( with my golden retriever looking after him.) My mom and I would intermittently take breaks from the food and conversation to play with the boy ( to the extent we could.) We would tell him to "throw the ball for the dog" or "make a basket with the basketball." And other wise try to converse with and engage him. We did that, his mother didn't.
She pretty much spent the whole time talking the other women/mothers who were at our party, most of whom she doesn't know that well, but are fifthcolumn family friends.
Her son would sometimes get out of the water and run around the pool and party guests chirping and squeaking, his asscrack pretty visible over his swimsuit. It was me, not his mother who said "hike up your swimsuit." He then smiled and hiked it up ! I said it to him, not his mother.

After the party, my mom and I discussed it, as to why his mother completly ignored him ( for the most part) when he was there. My theory is that she has to deal with him and engage him 24/7 for the most part. Perhaps partly because of her autistic child, she and her family do not entertain much ( she has three other neurotypical children.) Maybe she just wanted an nice long break and speak to other adults normally, like most parents are able to do. And all that makes sense to me, but you still think she might have "checked in" with her little autistic blessing every 20 minutes or so, just to say hello ( she didn't). Thoughts? (btw the mother is the potential lolcow, depending on what you guys think)
 
OK. This fourth of JULAAYYY, I think my family was sort of "Barbed" by a mother with a young son with autism. I would appreciate feedback.
The autistic child in question is a young boy, who my mother has been working with for the past year, to help him read. My mother is training to be an aide in an autism room at a public school. The child is basically nonverbal, but is very friendly and can say "hello Fifthcolumn) if someone tells him to say it to me.
Anyway he and his mother come to our fourth of JULAAYY barbecue, and almost immediatly, he jumps in our pool (swimsuit on and everything) and begins swimming around in a circle( with my golden retriever looking after him.) My mom and I would intermittently take breaks from the food and conversation to play with the boy ( to the extent we could.) We would tell him to "throw the ball for the dog" or "make a basket with the basketball." And other wise try to converse with and engage him. We did that, his mother didn't.
She pretty much spent the whole time talking the other women/mothers who were at our party, most of whom she doesn't know that well, but are fifthcolumn family friends.
Her son would sometimes get out of the water and run around the pool and party guests chirping and squeaking, his asscrack pretty visible over his swimsuit. It was me, not his mother who said "hike up your swimsuit." He then smiled and hiked it up ! I said it to him, not his mother.

After the party, my mom and I discussed it, as to why his mother completly ignored him ( for the most part) when he was there. My theory is that she has to deal with him and engage him 24/7 for the most part. Perhaps partly because of her autistic child, she and her family do not entertain much ( she has three other neurotypical children.) Maybe she just wanted an nice long break and speak to other adults normally, like most parents are able to do. And all that makes sense to me, but you still think she might have "checked in" with her little autistic blessing every 20 minutes or so, just to say hello ( she didn't). Thoughts? (btw the mother is the potential lolcow, depending on what you guys think)
The mother is a godawful parent.
 
OK. This fourth of JULAAYYY, I think my family was sort of "Barbed" by a mother with a young son with autism. I would appreciate feedback.
The autistic child in question is a young boy, who my mother has been working with for the past year, to help him read. My mother is training to be an aide in an autism room at a public school. The child is basically nonverbal, but is very friendly and can say "hello Fifthcolumn) if someone tells him to say it to me.
Anyway he and his mother come to our fourth of JULAAYY barbecue, and almost immediatly, he jumps in our pool (swimsuit on and everything) and begins swimming around in a circle( with my golden retriever looking after him.) My mom and I would intermittently take breaks from the food and conversation to play with the boy ( to the extent we could.) We would tell him to "throw the ball for the dog" or "make a basket with the basketball." And other wise try to converse with and engage him. We did that, his mother didn't.
She pretty much spent the whole time talking the other women/mothers who were at our party, most of whom she doesn't know that well, but are fifthcolumn family friends.
Her son would sometimes get out of the water and run around the pool and party guests chirping and squeaking, his asscrack pretty visible over his swimsuit. It was me, not his mother who said "hike up your swimsuit." He then smiled and hiked it up ! I said it to him, not his mother.

After the party, my mom and I discussed it, as to why his mother completly ignored him ( for the most part) when he was there. My theory is that she has to deal with him and engage him 24/7 for the most part. Perhaps partly because of her autistic child, she and her family do not entertain much ( she has three other neurotypical children.) Maybe she just wanted an nice long break and speak to other adults normally, like most parents are able to do. And all that makes sense to me, but you still think she might have "checked in" with her little autistic blessing every 20 minutes or so, just to say hello ( she didn't). Thoughts? (btw the mother is the potential lolcow, depending on what you guys think)


I think you're right, she wanted a chance to have some semblance of normality. If she wants that, though, what she should do is find a babysitter or a caretaker for him, and go out once a few weeks, so she can make her own friends, or reconnect with old ones. He doesn't seem severly autistic so it might be less of a challenge to find someone who can watch him.

I understand where you're coming from. At my Mom's Shivah, one of our close family friends who grew up with my mom, (my mom even babysat her) decided to bring her eight-year-old autistic son. All. Three. Nights. I guess since her son is really wild, she has a hard time finding a babysitter. My Mom's friend of course was extremely shook up by my mom's death, so she would talk to my dad, or other family members. So that leaves her son running around our family and living rooms. The first day wasn't so bad because she decided to bring a friend with him and tried to keep him occupied. The second day, I wasn't paying attention, but apparently he bumped into something, and spilled it on a chair, I forget. The third day, his older sister came with, who is 16 I think. I remember she was kind of a brat as kid but has grown out of it. She genuinely was happy to see both me and my first cousin from my mom's side, and she was asking us about all the stuff we were up to, which she genuinely found cool (I live in Singapore for grad school, and my cousin lives between England and New York). But then only ten minutes since she came, her mother told her that they have to leave, and apparently it was because her brother was all like "you said we'd only be here for ten minutes" and she wanted to avoid a conflict. She was sad to go. I think living with her brother can hinder a lot of things. So I honestly understand that mother in your story.

Okay, I derailed the convo. Something about a lolcow, something about a lolcow... Shia Lebouf. I can't tell if he's on a Joaquin Phoenix performance art kick when his becoming a trainwreck was all an act, or that his sanity is unraveling. All and all, his shenanigans are pretty funny, and kind of sad.
 
Okay, I derailed the convo. Something about a lolcow, something about a lolcow... Shia Lebouf. I can't tell if he's on a Joaquin Phoenix performance art kick when his becoming a trainwreck was all an act, or that his sanity is unraveling. All and all, his shenanigans are pretty funny, and kind of sad.

 
My theory is that she has to deal with him and engage him 24/7 for the most part. Perhaps partly because of her autistic child, she and her family do not entertain much ( she has three other neurotypical children.) Maybe she just wanted an nice long break and speak to other adults normally, like most parents are able to do. And all that makes sense to me, but you still think she might have "checked in" with her little autistic blessing every 20 minutes or so, just to say hello ( she didn't). Thoughts?

She had a chance to spend a few hours being a normal parent and took it. It's to be expected.
 
This guy.
He pops up on Gaia Online every now and again, posting the exct same thing, spamming the role playing forum with up to 12 identical threads at a time. Judging by his name changes, I'm guessing he's been banned, but keeps coming back.
Screen caps following soon...
I forgot all about this. Here's a few screen caps.

Here is his initial response to my query:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/destruction_pancake/WG1_zps363ebfe7.png

His totally original and deep character:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/destruction_pancake/WG2_zpsf6c28393.png

Some of the RP itself:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/destruction_pancake/WG4_zps5ae0cd03.png
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/destruction_pancake/WG5_zps411740c2.png

And here is what my comment section looked like when I took longer than a minute to reply:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/destruction_pancake/WG6_zpsf20dcb0e.jpg
 
Wow, someone really needs his hot wolf sexors. How did the rest of the encounter go?
 
I have a somewhat lolcowy friend on skype. He's not a bad person and actually competent in some fields (like being a Source Filmmaker animator), but he's extremely ignorant about the world and dimwitted in some matters. Though I probably blame the latter partially on his understanding of English, which is good enough to understand things around the internet but too poor to understand things better.
He does not seem to grasp how big the world is - he once claimed to own every single DOS and Windows game ever released. Nevermind the fact that it's physically impossible, the PC platform has tons of no-budget no-name games released in newspaper stands, regionally and so on. He'd often spew bullshit like this, with me seeing through it and him then doing damage control. Like when I asked him to send me two old obscure DOS games, he said "alright, I'll take them off my floppies!". Funny how those games he sent me were neatly packaged in zips named like something you'd download from an abandonware site, with txt files inside advertising those sides. I pointed that out, he damage control'd by claiming he simply downloaded every PC game in existence. Yeah, and I own and watched every movie from the silent film era.
Funnily enough, he's into the whole Chris-Chan trolling. You'd think he'd be an a-log, comparing himself to Chris to make himself feel better - but that would require knowing what Chris is. He doesn't seem to understand what makes Chris Chris - he's only into this because of the funny shock videos of him drinking navy, parading naked in front of a webcam and Bob walking in during his incomprehensible yelling meltdown. When I tried to, say, show him Liquid Saga videos he did not grasp it at all, being like "WTF? That guy doesn't look like Chris at all". I explained the whole Chris impostor posting videos and "stealing" Chris's identity, and the whole kayfabe about the trolldom pretending as if Liquid was indeed the real Chris, and he was still scratching his head.
Not to mention he's completely helpless, on the fucking internet. It's alright not to know something like a capital of a country and facts like that, but when he has to constantly ask me about that shit instead of using teh Googles, that's learned helplessness.
 
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