So, let me tell you about my friend's Dad. My friends from college know him as "porn dad".
Growing up he was a pretty cool guy. He would take all of us to go watch wrestling, miniature wargaming conventions, run our dungeons and dragons games, and play magic the gathering with us.
As an adult, we realized he had full blown autism.
First of all, he had a huge pornography collection. Like, a legitimate attic full of pornography magazines (which he called "fuck books"). He kept this porn in his mother's attic even though he did not live with her. I would go over there with my friend and play with action figures as a child while he would spend hours in the attic admiring his porn.
He hates internet porn, like absolutely hates it. He got into an argument with a friend about it:
Friend: I have more porn on these five CDs (this is the late 90s btw) than you do in that attic.
Porn Dad: Oh yeah? Well one time I was up in the attic, and there was a bat so I took a stack of my fuck books and crushed that bat with it! I would like to see you try that with a stack of CDs!
That was literally the only justification he could come up with as to why print pornography was better than digital.
The day my friend (his only child) was born, his father-in-law gave him $20 bucks to buy a sandwich. He took that money and bought porn instead of a sandwich. His ex-wife (who is just plain batshit crazy) told me this story the day their granddaughter was born.
Last time I saw him was around another grandchild's birthday. I said "How are you today [Porndad]?" His response was "I was expecting my barely legal teens magazine in the mail but instead it was a bunch of cards for my brat grandson."
He married a mail order bride from the Philippines. She was a whore. Literally. She exchanged sex for money as her job back home. Predictably, he paid to bring her two bastard children over to the US and he helped her get a job at the factory where he was a bookkeeper (ideal job for an autistic) and she divorced him, maxed out their shared credit cards, took the house, and banged all his coworkers.
After the divorce, he moved in with his Mom. In true lolcow fashion, the house (and all of his porn) burned down due to an electrical fire.
He is unable to control his volume (another sign of autism) and is incapable of whispering, even when his grandchildren are sleeping.
He has an obsession for the original dungeons and dragons, which he modified with articles and rules in old Dragon Magazines. He hates Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and later editions because he thinks skill checks and feats are "gay". He also hates Monks as a character class. He refuses to play and instead reads porno mags in his room, randomly wandering out to tell an inappropriate joke or to mock us for making a skill check.
Recently, he was banging a 70something year old woman with dementia. He considered this a great accomplishment since it was his friend's mom and one of the first people he ever jerked off to as a child.
He's a hardcore Republican and doesn't think schools or roads should be funded by the government and that you should be able to take care of yourself. He has a degree in history but refuses to teach because "teachers are the enemy". He hates unions, yet is constantly laid off at work even though he's worked there 30+ years. He constantly spouts his hatred for welfare even though his son's family (who moved in with him after his aforementioned mother went into a nursing home) gets $800 a month in food stamps, which he eats. He used to make his son not wear a coat during the winter because he knew the school would give him a free coat like they do with all impoverished kids. He could afford a coat, but he was cheap, had no shame, and was taking advantage of the system. When he loses arguments with me (I teach ppl how to argue a living and he's autistic, so trust me, he definitely loses) he starts screaming and hurling insults and ragequits.
I don't have anything to show you internet wise because he lives so far out in the middle of nowhere that they are unable to get internet.
