Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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I'm semi-active in several game show fan communities (hey, don't laugh, it's pretty harmless) and while there is always enjoyable, reasonable discussion going on, they do also tend to attract quite a few whackjobs. Part of it is the nature of the beast--game shows are said to attract people on the Autistic spectrum due to their bright colors and extensive use of letters and numbers--but having a disability is no excuse for how some of these people conduct themselves.

The most recent example of craziness is this poster who fancies himself a "Game Show Writer, Blogger and agent." That's the description of himself from his blog, where he writes really terrible updates on game show news. He basically just takes info from GSN press releases and posts it in his own words, adding very annoying personal commentary and baseless opinions to go with it.

Of course there are plenty of bad blogs out there, but where he crossed the line into lolcow-ery was when he made an entry claiming that a former game show contestant had joined his blog as a "guest commentator." But when another member of the site tweeted the person in question, she said she has never posted any blogs, ever. This guy actually created a fake account based on a real person in an attempt to give his pathetic blog more credibility. (Unfortunately, all the fake posts related to the account have since been deleted, and the forum posts explaining all this are members-only, but you'll have to take my word for it.) This isn't the first time he'd done something like this either; apparently he has a history of sockpuppeting on other members' blogs that make fun of him.

And that's only one member...if I can dig back and find the posts on Google Groups, I can share quite a few cases of people who take game shows--and themselves--wayyyy too damn seriously.
 
A friend of mine mostly lurks the forum the infamous Jin15 is on because he's doing his thesis on the "waifu" movement and there are quite a few insane bronies with imaginary horse girlfriends there. I cannot stop looking at these people and am considering getting myself an account so I can have a front row seat.

While my favourite is a rage-filled, jealous Rarity-lover, he can't stop following this female user who's convinced Rainbow Dash is her "guardian angel". They're waiting to have sex, that's how said this relationship is. She was raised in a religious house where her parents are raging homophobic control freaks, it sounds like she had childhood cancer or something, and he's about 80% sure she was molested as a child. She's also been diagnosed with PTSD along with some other stuff. He's really torn between just observing and begging her to get help.

Also, these bronies have so many fucked up fetishes. I've been on the Internet for over a decade and they're still finding ways to offend my moral core.
 
Bridechu said:
A friend of mine mostly lurks the forum the infamous Jin15 is on because he's doing his thesis on the "waifu" movement and there are quite a few insane bronies with imaginary horse girlfriends there. I cannot stop looking at these people and am considering getting myself an account so I can have a front row seat.

While my favourite is a rage-filled, jealous Rarity-lover, he can't stop following this female user who's convinced Rainbow Dash is her "guardian angel". They're waiting to have sex, that's how said this relationship is. She was raised in a religious house where her parents are raging homophobic control freaks, it sounds like she had childhood cancer or something, and he's about 80% sure she was molested as a child. She's also been diagnosed with PTSD along with some other stuff. He's really torn between just observing and begging her to get help.

Also, these bronies have so many fucked up fetishes. I've been on the Internet for over a decade and they're still finding ways to offend my moral core.
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I have been on the internet since 1995 and it still finds ways to surprise me.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Social Justice tards are worse than religious tards because the religious tards do their antisocial shit out of the belief of an eternal paradise in the afterlife. The SJ tards are just bitter that their $80k wymmymms basket weaving degree didn't get them a cushy diversity sinecure at some blogging startup.

I'd take a thousand Jack Chick's over a single Adria Richards.
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I'd perfer to deal with the Social Justice warriors than religious wackjobs. With the latter, you can't real get to them because they constantly use their holy text as "evidence" and won't listen at all. I got into an argument with a fundie on DA on why homosexuals were bad. I pulled out all the stops including how the homophobic part Leviticus was in the old testament, which Christians aren't supposed to follow. The person replied back saying "gays are bad because they are bad". Considering this wasn't a troll, this made me internally rage so hard.

To be honest, I think SJWs' have three problems:

1.) They are amazingly thin-skinned, they'll get offended by anything. I mean, take a look at the image below of one of their posts:

Checkit.png


2.) Some of them have a victim complex, making them think they are "oppressed" and shit.

3.) Some just want others to think they are the most nicest saints in the whole freaking world.
 
random_pickle said:
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Social Justice tards are worse than religious tards because the religious tards do their antisocial shit out of the belief of an eternal paradise in the afterlife. The SJ tards are just bitter that their $80k wymmymms basket weaving degree didn't get them a cushy diversity sinecure at some blogging startup.

I'd take a thousand Jack Chick's over a single Adria Richards.
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I'd perfer to deal with the Social Justice warriors than religious wackjobs. With the latter, you can't real get to them because they constantly use their holy text as "evidence" and won't listen at all. I got into an argument with a fundie on DA on why homosexuals were bad. I pulled out all the stops including how the homophobic part Leviticus was in the old testament, which Christians aren't supposed to follow. The person replied back saying "gays are bad because they are bad". Considering this wasn't a troll, this made me internally rage so hard.

To be honest, I think SJWs' have three problems:

1.) They are amazingly thin-skinned, they'll get offended by anything. I mean, take a look at the image below of one of their posts:

Checkit.png


2.) Some of them have a victim complex, making them think they are "oppressed" and shit.

3.) Some just want others to think they are the most nicest saints in the whole freaking world.
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So cissexism is bad, but calling a woman a bitch is A-OK?

I hope that's a troll.
 
SoupHotelDetective said:
game shows are said to attract people on the Autistic spectrum due to their bright colors and extensive use of letters and numbers--but having a disability is no excuse for how some of these people conduct themselves.

The most recent example of craziness is this poster who fancies himself a "Game Show Writer, Blogger and agent." That's the description of himself from his blog, where he writes really terrible updates on game show news. He basically just takes info from GSN press releases and posts it in his own words, adding very annoying personal commentary and baseless opinions to go with it.
Click to expand...

That blog is chock full of no one curr.

The game show autistics seem to have the best commercial breaks on youtube though. :|
 
SJW's seem to think that being offended equals oppression.... *yawn*
 
trombonista said:
Checkit.png


So cissexism is bad, but calling a woman a bitch is A-OK?

I hope that's a troll.
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That's the way those people think. You see, being born with a womb and ovaries is sexist by its nature. And if I castrate myself and take some estrogen I'll be a woman. In fact, I'll be more than a woman because I had to face CIS PRIVILEGE and possibly RACISM while SNATCH-HAVERS are flaunting their goods!
 
I'm too tired to write something eloquent about him, but

Witchan

just

Witchan

(I don't suggest reading anything he writes, but if you're feeling brave enough to, I suggest "Prancing around," "Mammoth Harem," and/or "An illegal relationship" for maximum... hilarity?)
 
Senator Patrick "The Brazman" Brazeau did it for me before I cut way back following his arrest for beating and sexual assulting his girlfriend, but the fact the he went on and on about accountability will 1) Failing to pay child support 2) False claim resident to gain more expenise 3) lying about living on reaseve so as not to pay taxes 4) Telling people to get jobs while have the worst attendance of any Canadian senator.
https://twitter.com/TheBrazman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Brazeau
 
ForeverAlonePonyfag said:
As a high-functioning autistic male, I think I myself would be considered a lolcow per my shitty social and vocabulary skills and the way I was tormented and mistreated in middle and high school.

My IRL trolling saga started around sixth grade when the kids at my middle school harassed me on a daily basis by making these hissing noises until I started yelling and screaming at them to stop and they would laugh at my reactions while the adult staff stood by and didn't do shit. My parents and I even tried to report them to the principal and deans, who not to my surprise didn't do anything to deal with the situation either. I also had an irrational fear of my Niggo geography teacher Mr. Thurman to the point where I once hid under a desk crying.

Needless to say, I could not handle another year there and I ended up transferring to a shitty private special needs school for the next three years. Unfortunately some of the students from the other school had also transferred there and kept doing the hissing shit I had desperately tried to get away from. Since this was a special school, there were of course a few students who I would consider more lulzworthy than me.
Examples:
Samantha- High-school aged girl who had been diagnosed as profoundly autistic and actually was almost institutionalized as a child, she could barely communicate at all but would constantly utter phrases like "Put that thing back in the classroom" or "XXXXXXXXX in the trash can"
Eric- Slow-talking black kid who suffered from severe short-term memory loss and was probably a legit Slow-In-The-Mind
Trevor- ADHD black kid from the other school who annoyed the shit out of me and the other students before he finally got expelled
Chandler (his first name, no relation to our pet lolcow)- Ginger kid who had a deformity called Carpenter syndrome and looked exactly like the Rocky Dennis kid from Mask
Everett- Black kid who now reminds me of MadThad0890 (he was kind of a weeaboo and claimed that he once dated a Korean girl) and sounded almost exactly like Porky Pig due to his stuttering problem (the hemispheres of his brain apparently didn't fuse completely). Got suspended once when he got caught fapping in the bathroom and everyone including myself could hear him.

I finally got out of that shitty school when I was 15 and began attending public high school in the 10th grade. Unfortunately, being at that school for so many years made me considerably lazy and stupid to the point where I almost failed my regular classes during my first semester there. I was going through a weeaboo phase at the time and I tried to hang out with the Asians at their lunch table and talk about animu and shitty sci-fi, they of course rejected me. I had also become a rice chaser and desperately tried to socialize with the Asian girls (most of them were Vietnamese, there was one girl named Thuy who I will get to later) and they always told me to fuck off, leave them alone, stop stalking them etc. :heart-empty: There was one Vietnamese guy name Jimmy whose sister I allegedly hit on and severely rustled his namesakes, he then went out of his way to make my social life a living hell by spreading rumors about me, turning all of my current friends against me, screaming at me every time I passed him in the hall, etc. I tried to get back at him by mocking him in a stereotypical Asian voice (Me: "I JUST WANT PUNCH YOU IN FACE SOMETIME!!!" Jimmy: "YOU LITTLE FUCK I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!!!!"), but then my tard wrangler dean Mrs. Watts AKA Shaneequa Lee Walsh put a stop to it.

Anyway onto Thuy. 10/10 Vietnamese babe, would fuck her brains out. Unfortunately due to my mental block I annoyed the piss out of her while attempting to socialize with her and shot to hell any chance of being friends with her. Tried to take out my frustration on her once by kicking her in the leg in the hallway, she and her mom tried to press charges against me but because of my autism card all I got was a talking to and a slap on the wrist. About a year later I chased her around the table in some chemistry classroom while I was yelling "HUG ME THUY!!!" (as a joke) and her then niggo novio attacked me and shoved me out of the classroom before I could attempt to explain, and I got suspended for three days. Less than two weeks later I got suspended yet again after I tapped one of my (white) friends on the shoulder when I tried to ask her why she was avoiding me (she too had a black asshole bf) and from that point on either Shaneequa Lee Walsh or one of her tard wrangler aides began literally following me everywhere in front of the other students and looking for any reason to punish me even if another student side-hugged me, and I withdrew about two months later near the end of my junior year.

I was homeschooled online for about two years after that before I took the GED test and am currently a sophomore (I think) in community college with a 3.5 GPA and transferring to university in the fall, no bullying or social issues so far other than getting friendzoned by half-Thai otaku girl. :heart-empty:

Other personal lolcows: Fundie Christards (tfw I live in the same town as Kent and Eric Hovind), Tumblr SJWs, weeaboos (the ugly annoying kind that inhabit my CC's anime club which is already on life support again after being disbanded once)
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I gotta say, I kinda pity ya due to what you had to put up with, even then you kinda have it coming when you do annoy and stalk people who want you to leave them alone, then again you had autism. Still, that Jimmy guy does seem like a douche even if one said it was justified due to alledgedly hitting on his sister, the boyfriend didn't really have to attack when they could have just grabbed ya and tell ya to stop. Still, reading your story kinda makes me feel like that I myself could of been lolcow material. I gone through the fundie phase in private religious middle school, being a hypocrite who didn't know much about the his own beliefs. I was also something of an annoyance to a small few students in my class, and if someone said I was gay, I would pretty much act like Chris but with less rage. Thank God I managed to get out that when I entered high school, even if it was a slow process.
 
I was quasi-stalked by a lolcow a few years ago.

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Wetflame (note: it looks like Wetflame tried to edit his ED page and it hasn't been reverted.)

Wetflame went by the name "Kittie Rose" on a number of Transformer fan forums several years ago. Basically, he/she'd come into message boards, complain about the new Transformer movie robot designs, and claim that everybody who told him to shut up where "internet fascists" who were "brainwashed by Michael Bay" into "liking things because we're sheeple." He also fucking loved to use the term "strawman" incorrectly.

Wetflame was infuriating to talk to, because he would turn all of your opinions that differed from his in the slightest into a personal attack. Then he would bring up about how he was supposedly tested for MENSA when he was child and participated in a debate team, and since his debating skills were obviously superior to ours, use this as an excuse to not defend his viewpoint as all.

Wetflame fulfilled nearly every LOLcow criteria:

1.) Obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog
2.) Practicing cross-dresser with an exceptionally poor grasp on gender identity
3.) Running to his hugbox on Usenet when people were mean to him
4.) Claiming intellectual superiority with no basis in fact
5.) Egotistical prick
6.) Unemployed and living on welfare
7.) Self-proclaimed Assburgers and used it as an excuse at every conceivable turn

Anyway, I pissed him off and he followed me around to several other message boards trying to harass me. He was eventually banned from every message board that I frequented, and I thankfully haven't had to deal with his stupidity for years.
 
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Hayakain A furfag, Tartlet, Weeaboo, pedofork, and one of the best new Lolcows IMO

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Ahuviya_Harel https://encyclopediadramatica.se/ADF-Fuensalida (these 2 are the one and the same) If Chris were a hipster, liberal, Communist, maoist, narutard then he'd be this guy, btw just like A-log he hates Chris's guts to

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Snapesnogger Another Tartlet bitch, that draws Naga herms, and M-preg shit, with a personal army matched only by her ego

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Onigojirakaiju Chrissy's long lost Filipino twin

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/SephirothPrincess941 Some retarded 16-year-old girl, that thinks hetero, and lesbian love is evil, disgusting and wrong, yet gay man love beautiful right.

well thats all the LOLcows that I can think of that were entertaining to me. Hope you guys get a kick out of them as much as I did
 
I remember being into Chasethehedgehog a few years back, and actually through him is how I discovered Chris.
He's not a lolcow anymore since he's pretty much died out, but a few years back he was huge on dA. His horrible MSPaint Sonic recolors attracted a lot of attention, and because of this he got a ton of dA pageviews. He eventually reached 100,000 pageviews, all from people laughing at him and his "art." His ego inflated to gargantuan levels because of it, and he thought he was one of the best artists on dA, and no one could tell him otherwise. He also had dreams of becoming a dA admin because of it.

DisneyFan01 or whatever her username was, was another dA lolcow I used to stalk, but again she's not in the light as much as she was a few years ago. She had cringe-worthy drawings of her Mary-Sue as the girlfriend of a character from Treasure Planet and traced a lot of her art. She also had dreams of becoming a 2D animator and bringing back 2D animation from the dead. (Mind you, I'm an animator, 2D is not dead, and the medium of the animation doesn't matter, it's how the story is told that matters. Being in animation school apparently, she should know this...unless it was a crappy school.) Her art and animations were pretty bad. She also wrote bad fanfiction called "Faithful Hearts" or some shit that was basically a ripoff of Kingdom Hearts.
 
A girl that was in my high school graduating class, let's call her Ashley. She spent pretty much her entire public school career in special ed classes. If I was to guess, she had some kind of minor autistic-spectrum disorder. Nobody liked to talk to her because she didn't get social courtesy; saying 'Hi' to her would make her start trying way too hard to be friends with you. The only ones who would really tolerate her for a long time were the janitors, and she hung out with them a lot. She was also really, really annoying and had a body odor problem, because lolcows always do.

After she graduated, she went full lolcow. I think she took some kind of class at a local community college, but probably didn't make anything of it. She started bouncing around on local dead-end cashier type jobs. My mom is friends with a manager of a local CVS where she worked, and according to the manager, she was a good worker for a few months, then she started showing up late, calling out, starting fights with coworkers, etc.

She also has major problems with her family. Her sister outright hates her, and even her mother is fed up with her. She's always trying to drag her coworkers into her issues; my mom heard from her old boss that she once got into an argument with a co-worker about her family. Said co-worker was giving her a ride at the time, and when the co-worker refused to get involved and told Ashley to do it herself, Ashley tried to jump out of the car.

Also, she's still stuck in high school. She goes to all the plays and sports games they put on, and is always trying to talk about it to anyone she went to school with. My sister is in the school's theater program, and every time I go to see one of the plays, Ashley 'runs into' me and always tries to talk about old times like we were friends (spoiler:we weren't).
 
Tomboy said:
I remember being into Chasethehedgehog a few years back, and actually through him is how I discovered Chris.
He's not a lolcow anymore since he's pretty much died out, but a few years back he was huge on dA. His horrible MSPaint Sonic recolors attracted a lot of attention, and because of this he got a ton of dA pageviews. He eventually reached 100,000 pageviews, all from people laughing at him and his "art." His ego inflated to gargantuan levels because of it, and he thought he was one of the best artists on dA, and no one could tell him otherwise. He also had dreams of becoming a dA admin because of it.

DisneyFan01 or whatever her username was, was another dA lolcow I used to stalk, but again she's not in the light as much as she was a few years ago. She had cringe-worthy drawings of her Mary-Sue as the girlfriend of a character from Treasure Planet and traced a lot of her art. She also had dreams of becoming a 2D animator and bringing back 2D animation from the dead. (Mind you, I'm an animator, 2D is not dead, and the medium of the animation doesn't matter, it's how the story is told that matters. Being in animation school apparently, she should know this...unless it was a crappy school.) Her art and animations were pretty bad. She also wrote bad fanfiction called "Faithful Hearts" or some shit that was basically a ripoff of Kingdom Hearts.
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I love the ED article for DisneyFan01 and that other chick who's in love with Timon and hates the Lion King musical but always goes to see it for some reason.
 
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Superlisamcb Asspie girl who draws horrendously bright pink recolors of characters from various media that she calls "Niggis" and that totally don't look like Prickle and Goo from Gumby. Claims that she can actually see them with her third eye or something and "ZOMG I'm not a racist that's just what they're called".

Her deviantART http://niggithor.deviantart.com/
 
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