Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Chaos Theorist]

Mine is someone I know personally. To avoid power levelling I'll be vague. He was a regular cynical dude once and a really good friend. Life happens, we all move away but we keep in touch.

Then a tweet of his goes viral and he suddenly thinks he's an internet celebrity. He turns into everything we used to laugh at. Constant virtue signalling, always having the correct opinion (especially after he retweeted a joke by someone with wrongthink and was doxxed (yes, I will always spell it with two x, you'll never change that)), one of the internet good guys who bullies strangers because they don't follow the fashion rules of "rum" Twitter or because that person is poor, oversharing about the troubles with his ex-wife on Facebook, and becoming the Mondeo man we always swore we'd never become.

Don't have anything much to do with him now but do drop in on his Twitter occasionally just to see how far he's fallen.

TL;DR Former friend is now on the right side of history

What is rum twitter and the modern word for Mondeo Man is probably Deano

 

[Adamska]

-snip-

I'll just ask this question since I can't find the answer via googling: is there a reason why people just write letters of the alphabet instead of fake names when they write about people?

Just wondering, since I see it often enough and never could find it when I look it up.

Now to get into the post; I always find it funniest when the lamest and lowest effort shitpost gets reactions like this. Losing your shit over a stock fart effect is pretty kino.

 

[ShitInMyMouth]

What is rum twitter and the modern word for Mondeo Man is probably Deano

British cunts who think they are edgy BANTER LADS but all have to have the same benign politic and cultural opinions.

Hot takes about jeans and shoes top level BANTER.

All about those Twitter numbers. It’s really really sad.

 

[A Pile Of Fucking Ashes]

I'll just ask this question since I can't find the answer via googling: is there a reason why people just write letters of the alphabet instead of fake names when they write about people?

Just wondering, since I see it often enough and never could find it when I look it up.

I don't know why other people do it, but I did it to give it another layer of anonymity

Now to get into the post; I always find it funniest when the lamest and lowest effort shitpost gets reactions like this. Losing your shit over a stock fart effect is pretty kino.

Agreed. At the time I was a pretty exceptional individual and sided with Z initially, but I eventually saw through the bullshit and distanced myself. It was pretty stressful then, and there was a lot more that happened, but looking back it truly was something glorious to behold.

 

[NUTCHUGGER]

-- The 32-year-old near-NEET (she's employed, occasionally, briefly), genderspecial, autistic, BPD queen... king... person? She's a Furry, and ships herself with fictional characters (and will get in fights with people about it). She showed up at my house while I was out with another friend and started sobbing to my mom about how everyone hates her and she has no friends. She was in her 20s, and I was a teenager. This was not a one-time occurrence. Spends the money her rich, "horribly abusive" parents give her on toys, clothes, and conventions, and then complains about how awful and unfair they are because they give her rules and tell her to maybe think about doing something.

What is it with rich genderspecial NEETs that leech off the people around them while simultaneously calling abuse? I also have a few personal cows like that. The biggest one is a 22 year old who has literally everything handed to her and says she can't get a job because it would stress her out and stress makes her want to kill herself. Fat as hell due to never moving and eating fast food multiple times a week, desperately wants to be skinnier because she wants to look like an anime character yet refuses to do anything about it because it's too hard. Anyone who criticizes her for being lazy is an abuser.

My personal theory is that people like this got everything handed to them in life, and then got on tumblr/twitter and saw it was trendy to be marginalized, but they didn't actually have anything bad going on in their life so they blew everything out of proportion and began calling abuse at the tiniest things.

 

[Micotil 300]

I have another one, which comes with religious fanaticism, coronavirus, and manners that would embarrass Veruca Salt.

Spoiler: Everything is Satan

This one is my sister's friend, not mine. I have no idea how those two became friends anyway; she is an insanely devout (emphasis on the "insane") Christian, and my sister is... not that. Actually, this might lend an explanation to why they're friends. The "WTF?" started when she stopped talking to my sister for a week because "God told her that [my sister] was an operative of the Devil sent to her to tempt her to do bad things" but rather than run as God had told her to, she decided that it was her job to "direct my sister to the light." My sister wasn't having any of that nonsense, but they stayed friends.

They both work together at the same place, but her friend refuses to wear a mask and won't get vaccinated because the vaccine is the "Mark of the Devil, being spread to poison the souls of the majority of the population." They work with old and disabled people, mind you, and the only reason she gets away with this is because her mother is the boss or something. Well, she got herself a case of the 'rona, passed it along to my sister (she's vaccinated), and that's why I didn't get to see my family this Christmas. She also went to the Christmas party at their work before her quarantine was over, and tried to get my sister to go with her.

Besides the Satanic panic, she is just a rude, inconsiderate person in general. She litters, talks down to people, throws tantrums at work, and doesn't leave tips when they go out to eat because she "already paid for the food." My sister has explained numerous times that that isn't how it works, but still ends up "forgetting something" at restaurants and running back in to leave a tip for the waitstaff. She can't just say, "I'm leaving a tip," or her friend yells at her for "wasting money." Her family is rich, ours is not. I probably don't even need to say that their friendship is strained.

 

[Glass Sealing]

I hate to necroreply but oh my god, so much yes!
Ever since I got into fragrance he has been my pet cow for a few good years now.
The guy is a major narc and a coke head, I suspect that's why he can't cum.
Memba those DMs he sent to that one big tiddied insta hoe?

Spoiler: These are they

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Chris D'Elia recently reacted to him on his podcast:

I’m kinda iffy on it now, he very clearly seems to be doing a bit imo

 

[RussianParasite]

Sometimes you don't really have a choice, like with relatives. Even cows find themselves nice people to love, and then they become a pain to whole fucking families lol!

If there are no lolcows that you can identify in your life does that make you the lolcow?

 

[Xenomorph]

I used to know someone who was an exclusive furry (as in he had no interest whatsoever in sex with humans and was openly repulsed by the idea) but was obsessed with "porn" of cartoon animals, dinosaurs, dragons, xenomorphs from the Alien movies, etc. and it wasn't good enough if the furry characters were bipedal anthropomorphs; that was "too close to humans." He was only attracted to quadrupeds, whether they be cartoons or real wild animals. Fortunately, he was much too slow to catch one in real life, and will most likely die a virgin. It's too bad he had no interest in social media because he'd make a hell of a cow.

I feel personally attacked

 

[GenericEdgelordSupreme]

I feel personally attacked

I bet you would feel even more personally attacked if you received an unexpected load in the smaller inner mouth from that lunatic. Because, you know... he was into that.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

I’m kinda iffy on it now, he very clearly seems to be doing a bit imo

Maybe in a sense that he puts it on for tiktok but other than that nah, guy is fully fucked in the head.

 

[Admiral Piett]

Sort of, not really a personal lolcow perse. But I am a big fan of JSC and their analysis of police interviews. The one which stands out to me is Cliff here. Cliff killed his wife on Christmas, and stabbed his step-daughter before handing himself into police. What follows is a five hour interview of a very angry man sperging the fuck out. about supposed police corruption, his own totally real military acumen, the child support lady and how his marriage failed. Obviously a total bummer he did actually end the life of someone. BUT, it's funny to see him tangentially draw all these antagonists into his life to somehow shield him from what happened ala Classic Chris.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

My personal theory is that people like this got everything handed to them in life, and then got on tumblr/twitter and saw it was trendy to be marginalized, but they didn't actually have anything bad going on in their life so they blew everything out of proportion and began calling abuse at the tiniest things.

Rich losers are still rich, and likely sheltered and spoiled, kids. The sheltered ones usually also have daddy issues and feel like rebelling against daddy whilst enjoying the money and privileges that come with being their kids. So they turn out to places like Twitter, Tumblr and become radicalized, "marginalized" retards that believe they are oppressed and suffer for nothing!

The other type of spoiled kids are the egotistical ones. Just try doing anything that puts these fuckers in a slight position of submission and be greeted with anger, slurs and other pleasantries. I'm friends with a guy who worked in a place full of them, and he got some rich kids fucking lashing at him for harmless shit like pointing fingers, the way he described these retards made him sound like he was going to shoot up the place before quitting lol!

If there are no lolcows that you can identify in your life does that make you the lolcow?

Depends, you might be lucky to have a good circle of friends that aren't losers. Or just a small, tight knit circle, like these older folks that have around three or four friends and just enjoy their lives!

 

[thejackal]

Jaiden Grayson, "the leader of CHOP", also a parent to a three year old son that will not in any way turn out well. She is legit one of the most crazy people I have seen online. She went to Evergreen college, I don't think she graduated, but still explains quite a bit.

 

[Product Placement]

Jaiden Grayson, "the leader of CHOP", also a parent to a three year old son that will not in any way turn out well. She is legit one of the most crazy people I have seen online. She went to Evergreen college, I don't think she graduated, but still explains quite a bit.

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What kind of drugs gives someone body movements like that when they are talking?

 

[thejackal]

What kind of drugs gives someone body movements like that when they are talking?

Man I dunno. She is perma stoned, drinks a lot and I believe is also on a bevy of RX drugs. She isn't a munchie tho and doesn't really discuss it. She's just batshit insane. Glad you took an interest in her I'll post more of her stuff in this thread she's fucking bonkers. The "code switching" she does between ghetto black girl and the real version of her (raised by a white mother in the burbs of Seattle) is wild. She also fancies herself a singer and does absolutely horrible renditions of Amy Winehouse style songs. She tried to be a full time "activist" last year (give me money for unhinged rants was the extent of it) and gave up to try this singing thing. Her baby daddy is long gone and she claims she's engaged to this new guy (he goes by "staysafeknox" on social media. He's a total cornball brother himself that wears a beanie 24/7 tim pool style to hide his completely bald head. he has no job and is studying to be a "programmer", which from what I've seen he's in a "intro to programming" online class that he hasn't progressed beyond. he's as much of a programmer as she is a singer. between the two of them they are trying to raise this three year old and it's just completely sad for the kid, he doesn't stand a chance. he's been out of town for two weeks and she will leave her apartment in the middle of the night to go drink or do her bullshit and leaves the kid alone, it's ridiculous. I have no interest in pozloading my negholep to that degree but CPS would probably be interested.

The fucked up thing is that the city of Seattle actually had her at the negotiating table to end CHOP/CHAZ, it's like what???

 

[wee woo wee woo]

so i have this "friend" who is insufferable. she's an incredibly terrible person. first of all, she is well aware that servers practically live off of tips and still continues to call tipping "a waste of money". she always talks about how she has family issues, but her life is practically perfect. seeing as she gets everything that she acts for and has nothing to show for it except a selfish attitude (as expected). she's super mega religious (allegedly). although, she most certainly doesn't act like it. she litters, lies, and overall is just a terrible fucking person. she's refusing to get vaccinated because she thinks the vaccine is "the marking of the beast". like, what the actual fuck is wrong with you? on top of that, she won't wear a mask in public areas and constantly bitches about them. due to her being selfish, she gave my family and i covid. our christmas was fucking ruined all because of her. she'll always try to use me to write papers for her because she's so fucking illiterate that she can't even pass sophomore english. lastly, she bashes every single one of my interests. basically, i don't feel comfortable around her anymore. she just pisses me off at this point. the only reason that i'm still remaining friends with her (call me a terrible person) is because she's my ride to work in the morning.

 

[Someone's Account]

Tell me if this comes off across as powerleveling, but here it goes:
I have come across this certain species of lolcows in my personal Discord. One or two of which made a hasty generalization/shitty take on how STRAIGHT PPLZ support incest [How most Tumblrites would blame shit on LE EVIL CIS HETZZ], then when a friend of mine pointed that not all straight people act that way, another one swooped in and said "Well, she didn't mean ALL straight people!!"

Slightly tempted to tip them off by doing an Uno-Reverse card on them and go: "THOSE DAMN HOMOS INDOCRINATING OUR YOUTH BY TURNING THEM GAY!!" and hoping for them to defend themselves, in which I'd go "But I didn't say ALL Homos!"

Honestly a weird way to start off the New Years by eavesdropping on discourse, but cheers!

 

[Sketch Turner]

I am a pedophile [PROOF] - General Discussion - SMW Central

archived 1 Jan 2022 16:56:06 UTC

archive.ph

I don't know if this is the right thread for it, but looking around in case he's already been mentioned before, he seems to even have had an account here: @Tsuka Hiira

Known this guy for a little while now, he does stupid shit like this and constantly changes his name (and personality keeps shifting as though to fit in other places). He's fairly known for being a creepy, over-the-top cutesy piece of shit within the legacy Windows and other tranny-adjacent circles. Used to be a troon himself and then stopped because he got kicked out of everywhere for creeping on people and hosting pity parties.

He's interesting to say the least, while he produces nothing too special of his own, it's just funny seeing him fuck up everything he touches. The guy's living in some sort of adult care home, I think, from what he's said before.

 

[Micotil 300]

Maybe you guys were right and I need to meet some new people.

All of the "New Year, New Me" bullshit reminded me of another one. I present the Saga of Elliot (not her real fake name).

Spoiler: Elliot

I met this girl in fourth grade or thereabouts, and we were kinda-sorta friends. She was the type of "friend" to hang out with you and then proceed to talk shit about you and your family to the entire class. We fell out of contact when I switched schools, but we ended up going to the same high school.

Our kinda-sorta friendship continued, and grew stronger once she started paying more attention to me and my ex after learning that I was an "uwu lesbian." She's always been a compulsive liar, but I had chalked more of that up to age rather than personality. Some of the things she told me about during this time included an "ongoing court case" against her sexually abusive, professional clown (no shit) father, and frequent incidents of assault by co-workers, one of which caused her to lose her attraction to men (this is unbelievable only because all of this came to light a day after she was in on a conversation with me and my gf about our experiences relevant to that).

Due to the fickle nature of high school relationships, my girlfriend and I eventually broke up, whereupon my kinda-sorta friend began pursuing my attention relentlessly. She eventually backed off when I told her I had no interest in dating anyone at that time, but we stayed friends until graduation, when we began seeing less and less of each other. We still texted fairly frequently, and I followed her on social media. When we were 19-20 or so, she came out as FtM. I supported "Elliot," even though the whole thing didn't sit well with me. We met up at one point during that time, and "he" told me an incredibly OTT story about a massive drug overdose and an inpatient rehab stint that led "him" to realize "his" true identity. This was at the height of it being trendy to be trans, and I thought, "Yeah, whatever," but I was not in a position to be running people off at that time.

Shortly after "coming out," we fell out of contact again. "He" had begun talking about a vague surgery, more or less heavily implying that it was gender reassignment and even beginning a GoFundMe campaign to pay for it, and then vanished off of social media for a long time. Recently, she has returned with gastric bypass surgery and an entire story about how she "was never really gay or trans; her abusive ex-husband forced her to be a man, honest!!!" while seeming to forget that she told me and likely others an entirely different story. I haven't called her out on it; I just sit back and watch the shitshow. In all honesty, I feel bad for her. She needs help to try and establish some sort of identity and be content with normal amounts of attention like everyone else.

Tl;dr: Befriended a girl in elementary school who already had baby red flags, reconnect in high school, learn she was raped by her clown father, and her boyfriend, and her co-workers. Wants to have the gay like me. Comes out as trans bc "overdose and psych hold, uwu,"collects money while alluding to it being for GRS, disappears and comes back still a woman who got gastric bypass surgery, claims the LGBT-LARP was all because of an abusive ex-husband she was married to for six months.