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Found another wiki to cringe at. Anyway, welcome to Pooh's Adventures:

http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Pooh's_Adventures_Wiki

So Sit Down, Grab Some Popcorn, Honey and enjoy the movies as Winnie the Pooh and his friends go into new worlds outside of Disney studios and the 100 Acre Wood where they will meet new friends, battle bitter enemies, and save the world at the same time.
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Initially back then when I discovered it, I thought it would die off, but nope, apparently the autists actually could go further to the point that even The American Rabbit is not safe from this:

http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Winnie_the_Pooh_in_The_Adventures_of_the_American_Rabbit
 
I don't think this guy has been posted about before, so I'll start by pointing you towards this video. I recommend, before reading anything else about this guy, that you watch this:


This is Gorilla199, or Chris Constantine. The first time I saw this, I though 'haha, what an amusing video taking the piss out of mental conspiracy theorists! It was pretty dry, and a bit edgy with that religious stuff, but I wonder if he has any more?'. Then I looked at his channel... and found he had about 500 videos all on mental conspiracy theories... and they are all in complete earnest. He is an absolute nutter.

I'm no expert on Gorilla199, but here are a couple of things he thinks. He is a Christian conspiracy theorist who thinks about 20% of the worlds population, and 99% of the businesses, are owned by Tares (lizard people) and Freemasons ('the Tares bitches'). He thinks science is a lie, and things like evolution, the Ice Age and rockets working in space are all Tare propaganda, as they aren't in the Bible. He thinks everyone over 6', perhaps 6'6" at a push are giants, and therefore either demons, Nephilim, or children of Nephilim. He also believes in that chemtrail stuff.

Now, if you read that and got terribly scared about this blasphemous subversion of mankind, don't fear! Gorilla199 has got our backs with another video, showing us how to root out those pesky Tares, Freemasons and Illuminati.


To summarize, if you see a shop with a Mesonic symbol, which includes Illuminati Triangles (basically normal triangles), half domes and Xs, simply say to the owner 'there is a lot of flying saucer symbolism in your shop'. If they don't reply, it isn't because they're scared of a nutter conspiracy theorist coming into their shop, it is because they are forced by a vow to not discuss UFOs. Simple!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/7194961.stm

While what he does could be fairly easy to fake, as most of his videos are indoors, I think this link gives a fair bit of proof. It is about a conviction for copyright infringement he got in 2008, and the article mentions that 'Defence barrister Michael Phillips said Constantine was suffering from a serious psychiatric condition and had been at the time of the offences'. Plus, even if he was trolling, 500 videos of that bollocks is some serious dedication.
 
Bosnian Wizard said:
I don't think this guy has been posted about before, so I'll start by pointing you towards this video. I recommend, before reading anything else about this guy, that you watch this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=03DGJc_rVI8
This is Gorilla199, or Chris Constantine. The first time I saw this, I though 'haha, what an amusing video taking the piss out of mental conspiracy theorists! It was pretty dry, and a bit edgy with that religious stuff, but I wonder if he has any more?'. Then I looked at his channel... and found he had about 500 videos all on mental conspiracy theories... and they are all in complete earnest. He is an absolute nutter.

I'm no expert on Gorilla199, but here are a couple of things he thinks. He is a Christian conspiracy theorist who thinks about 20% of the worlds population, and 99% of the businesses, are owned by Tares (lizard people) and Freemasons ('the Tares bitches'). He thinks science is a lie, and things like evolution, the Ice Age and rockets working in space are all Tare propaganda, as they aren't in the Bible. He thinks everyone over 6', perhaps 6'6" at a push are giants, and therefore either demons, Nephilim, or children of Nephilim. He also believes in that chemtrail stuff.

Now, if you read that and got terribly scared about this blasphemous subversion of mankind, don't fear! Gorilla199 has got our backs with another video, showing us how to root out those pesky Tares, Freemasons and Illuminati.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wqf0N0Z2nps
To summarize, if you see a shop with a Mesonic symbol, which includes Illuminati Triangles (basically normal triangles), half domes and Xs, simply say to the owner 'there is a lot of flying saucer symbolism in your shop'. If they don't reply, it isn't because they're scared of a nutter conspiracy theorist coming into their shop, it is because they are forced by a vow to not discuss UFOs. Simple!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/7194961.stm

While what he does could be fairly easy to fake, as most of his videos are indoors, I think this link gives a fair bit of proof. It is about a conviction for copyright infringement he got in 2008, and the article mentions that 'Defence barrister Michael Phillips said Constantine was suffering from a serious psychiatric condition and had been at the time of the offences'. Plus, even if he was trolling, 500 videos of that bollocks is some serious dedication.
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OH MY GOD THIS GUY!!! I heard about this guy from a video on Cracked. In one of his videos he claimed the logo for the 2012 Olympics in London was part of a freemasonic/lizardman conspiracy.

On that bit about triangles/half-domes/the letter x, is a fear of what is effectively basic geometry common among freemasonic conspiracy theorists?
 
Alan Pardew said:
Found another wiki to cringe at. Anyway, welcome to Pooh's Adventures:

http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Pooh's_Adventures_Wiki



Initially back then when I discovered it, I thought it would die off, but nope, apparently the autists actually could go further to the point that even The American Rabbit is not safe from this:

http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Winnie_the_Pooh_in_The_Adventures_of_the_American_Rabbit
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Holy crap, I remember this! Didn't BlackBusterCritic laugh his ass off during a livestream while reading this shit? I know there's tons and tons of poorly made crossover "movies" based off of this nonsense on Youtube. I've always gotten a good laugh from the crossover community, especially when BlackBusterCritic took the piss out of them.

I also remember these spergs making a bunch of other "X's Adventures" series, including Ronald McDonald's Adventures and even Barney's Adventures or some crap like that. Reading through this nonsense and realizing that there's a circle on the internet that takes this tripe seriously has never ceased to be hilarious.
 
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RetardBus said:
Holy crap, I remember this! Didn't BlackBusterCritic laugh his ass off on a livestream reading this shit? I know there's tons and tons of poorly made crossover "movies" based off of this nonsense on Youtube. I've always got a good laugh from the crossover community, especially when BlackBusterCritic took the piss out of them.
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It gets worse too, as there are currently spinoffs for this shit, such as:-

* Ash's Adventures (Yes, THE Ash Ketchum from Pokemon) http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Ash's_Adventures_Series
* Spongebob's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/SpongeBob's_Adventures_Series
* Charlie Brown and Snoopy's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Charlie_Brown_and_Snoopy's_Adventures_series
* Finn and Jake's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Finn_and_Jake's_Adventures

It reached to the point that almost anything can be in Pooh's Adventures now, so go find your favourite movie there and you better hope that it wasn't there.

But hey, how about a parody video? :ween:

 
Alan Pardew said:
It gets worse too, as there are currently spinoffs for this shit, such as:-

* Ash's Adventures (Yes, THE Ash Ketchum from Pokemon) http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Ash's_Adventures_Series
* Spongebob's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/SpongeBob's_Adventures_Series
* Charlie Brown and Snoopy's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Charlie_Brown_and_Snoopy's_Adventures_series
* Finn and Jake's Adventures http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Finn_and_Jake's_Adventures

It reached to the point that almost anything can be in Pooh's Adventures now, so go find your favourite movie there and you better hope that it wasn't there.

But hey, how about a parody video? :ween:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0UWY8E2oW8w
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Sure, why not? :cool:
 
Here's a few more that I forgot to mention the other time.

Drunk Spaceman
At one point I knew a guy, he was pretty rad. He was also the only person I ever saw delivering a wedgie outside of a cartoon. One time he disintegrated one of my buddy's boxers through repeated wedgies and then lifted some other jackass a good two feet in the air by his briefs. This is not about that guy, but rather his brother Ethan who was not rad, just a dipshit.

To get a good feel for how big of a dipshit he was skip ahead to Spanking Shakespeare, an English assignment of his my pal found on the floor one day. Though the questions have been lost to time the answers alone are just fucking stupid, much like him. If you don't feel like skipping ahead, just know that in addition to getting hammered on the bus ride to school he also attempted smoking weed on the bus and expected to get away with it.

Anyway, this story isn't about that either. This is about the time he and his fat ass friend Samsquanch got drunk at the side of the road and played spaceman in the garbage can. For several hours they frolicked, yelling space related things at each other like ground control, deflector shields, and mars bitches. All the while hanging out in garbage on the side of the road. Fucking pinheads.
Spanking Shakespeare
5a3k0g.jpg

Slugman at Large
At my highschool there was exactly one brony. He was fat, which surprised no one, and also annoying which surprised less than no one. His most distinguishing and disgusting feature would be that he was a slugman. By which I mean he left a slime trail. It wasn't sweat, he just left everywhere he sat slimy and gross. And since he was fat he did a lot of sitting, that ass could cover a lot of ground.

When he wasn't busy being a slug man he was roleplaying with ponies on Facebook, I think he threatened to kill himself when he found out the Pinkie Pie account he was cybering with was his dad.

Deep as a Mint
Every now and then there is a guy with a guitar. Sometimes they can play it, sometimes they only sort of can play it. This guy falls into the latter category, he spent almost every day demonstrating his deep soulful songwriting and mediocre guitar skills to impress the ladies. This of course was after he burnt both of his eyebrows off by stabbing a can of Axe with a knife and lighting it to make a flamethrower (spoiler alert: it didn't fucking work). Naturally to combat his reputation as the dumbshit that burnt off his eyebrows he had to become a pretentious douche.

Now, in the first day of a sociology class the teacher always passes a bag of candy around and asks everyone to pick the candy they're most like and explain why. When I took the class I think I said I was like the gum because you're not supposed to eat me, but that's besides the point. He claimed to be most like the mint, because he's deep and has layers. I think he might have confused mints with a well of onions or something.

On an entirely unrelated note, this might also have been the kid that punched a door in frustration yelling "I don't like school, I like Pokemon!" for no good reason but I forget.
 
MZD Mommy said:
i got one i got one.. several actually i'll tell them all separately

T, the Attempted Murderer
So I went to a very small elementary school (St. Leonard, for those wondering) which had a rather dense unbalance between cultures. I say cultures, I mean a lot of kids there, black, white, everything else alike thought that they were gangster. When I entered this school I was just a kid with a huge thing for Hello Kitty, and even anime. I started very young, age 6.

Anyways, early on I caught that you would be bullied if you didn't fit the nigger/wigger cliche (sorry for that term, I use it only when referring to these types). But there was this group of people I knew. The first guy, I'll call V (I'll tell his story later) was the wiggest wigger who ever wigged. Second guy, I'll call T, was a big bulky black kid who was almost twice my size. I was small for a second grader, but this guy was at least a foot above the tallest kid in class, thank fuck I didn't have the same class as him for most of the year. Sadly, my encounters with T did not end there. Those were the lulziest two. They were the bandanna-wearing violence-shouting types, and I tended to keep a good distance from them.

See, I'd switch classes often. Very often. That means I did end up with him. Apparently they think ADHD is the kind of thing you'd lump with spergs and 'tistics, so I got put in special classes a lot, and this was no exception. In fact, I highly suspect now that this kid had a case of the 'tism, or something worse. He had this creepy grin, and whenever I looked up to observe the students around me, he'd be giving me this methhead grin. This disturbed me greatly. I was the only one he grinned at, too.
One fine day we were beginning our trip out of the cafeteria when I was in line with everybody. We would line up by name in front of the auditorium stage, and this particular time we were instructed to sit down. So we did. T was in front of me in line, and the first thing I noticed, since I was never in close proximity until then, was that he smelled like piss. Not even kidding, he smelled rank. I tried to avert my gaze from him, but he quickly cornered me, turning and grinning at me. I was almost petrified. Without skipping a damn beat, the kid churns out a "hi" in this deep voice that would be considered post-pubescent by any sane being. I only awkwardly waved back in reply, trying not to look him in the eye. This was the first time I'd talked to this kid, if this was considered talking. That's why I was so baffled at his next vocalization, which had the slightest bit of 'tism to it. "Do you like me?" Now, I was awkward, but I was blunt because of it. That's why I did probably the worst thing possible. I shook my head, and said flatly, "No, you're creepy."

And then he flipped shit.

If you've never witnessed what many legends believe to be "tard strength", thank fuck. This kid may or may not have been tard, but he suddenly reaches right the fuck out, and takes my neck in both hands, pressing down and beginning to rattle me about as if trying to strangle me. It took two teachers and even a few students to get him away from me, but I was a crying mess at the end of it.

Afterwards, whenever I saw him in class or in the halls, he'd always make a choking gesture at me.According to those who knew him, he had a crush on me, and I don't know why. I wasn't an attractive kid, what the fuck. He then abruptly disappeared in the middle of the third grade. Rumor goes he was expelled for pulling a knife.
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That doesn't sound like a lolcow, that just sounds... Well, unpleasant. :(
 
Have a Pepsi said:
That doesn't sound like a lolcow, that just sounds... Well, unpleasant. :(
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It was, very.
Next is from middle school.

Joel, and his dreams
Back in about sixth grade, there was this kid I ran into often. His name was Joel, and he had a dream-- This dream was to work at Aeropostale as a model. This kid was the lankiest little dip ever, and was shorter than me, even. His hair was tucked into a faux-mohawk look, kid probably spent most of his morning doing it. He talked like he was all that, and a bag of Funyuns. In general, he wasn't fun to be around. He smelled so heavily of cologne I'd cough whenever in a certain radius of him. Weirdest thing was, he always claimed that he would shave ALL of his bodily hair. ALL OF IT. I saw him with his shirt off at the end of the year-- pits were as barren as a baby's butt. I think he really did. He was more of a guido than anything, and always claimed to have been in bed many times, despite being like 13. I don't think he understood that shaving all of one's body hair is a thing that straight men don't do. Can't think of anything else remarkable about him. He was just ridiculous.
 
This Poohs adventures thing.... Pretty bizarre. I mean, that's all I can say. Crossovers are crossovers, but this just seems... weird.

http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Thomas_and_Twilight_Sparkle's_Adventures_Series

.... I think.... I think I'm done looking at this.

Alan Pardew said:
It reached to the point that almost anything can be in Pooh's Adventures now, so go find your favourite movie there and you better hope that it wasn't there.
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http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Winnie_the_Pooh_Goes_to_Labyrinth

... Okay. I swear I'm done for real this time.

At least there isn't a Poohs Adventures in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I think.
 
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http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Cool_Spot
http://poohadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Pepsiman
Cool Spot is a part of the 7Up logo and a friend of Pooh. His biggest rival is Pepsiman- however, they are forced to work together to stop the evil forces of Coca-Cola.

Similarites With Pepsiman
  • They're both too cool for skool.
  • They're both from the 1990s.
  • They both sell soda.
  • They both share a hatred for Coca-Cola.
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Pepsiman is a manly superhero who sells Pepsi, and a friend of Pooh. Pepsiman does his best to make sure everyone drinks Pepsi soda. He is a superhero and always tries to save the day from the evil forces of a Coca-Cola and 7Up. His rival is Cool Spot.

Similarities With Cool Spot
  • They're both too cool for skool.
  • They're both from the 1990s.
  • They both sell soda.
  • They both share a hatred for Coca-Cola.
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Sega Saturn is a friend of Pooh and one of the leaders of the Sega Unit Patrol Squad 1 Adventure Team. Believe it or not, he is actually a living game console, but he still functions like a real Saturn game system. His sidekick is the Sega Game Gear. He shares a fierce rivalry with Playstationand Nintendo 64.
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The evil forces of Coca Cola? Sentient video game consoles? Holy mother of fuck, my gut hurts now.
 
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Alan Pardew said:
Not really lolcow-ish, but since I need something to laugh, here we go: Upcoming GOTY 2014 once it's greenlighted on Steam. Behold the amazing graphics, storyline and gameplay:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FzNMcMrZWXA
https://youtube.com/watch?v=szwjALFVKbs
637x358.resizedimage


http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=240301259 (Official Steam Greenlight Page - Be sure to like and favourite it!)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/497057119/starship-tranquility-sci-fi-rpg (Apparently, $1,008 was funded by fans for this masterpiece)
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I like how he uses "retro" to excuse poor graphics.
 
Surtur said:
I like how he uses "retro" to excuse poor graphics.
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That happens a lot. I dunno why people think retro = looks like shit, like seriously the NES might have been limited but that doesn't mean all of the games looked like a mentally deficient rodent drew the graphics for them.
 
Luna said:
That happens a lot. I dunno why people think retro = looks like shit, like seriously the NES might have been limited but that doesn't mean all of the games looked like a mentally deficient rodent drew the graphics for them.
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I remember once, back in thwe day on the Gaming World forums (if anyone remembers that train wreck) someone was posting about a "8 bit" game he was making in RPGMaker2000, and by 8 Bit he meant shitty MS Paint stick art.
 
My elementary school stalker and his psychotic mom:
Way back in the second grade, I had assigned seating next to this spergy kid named Tyler. I made the mistake of being somewhat nice to him, so he decided to follow me everywhere. I actually used to beg him to leave me alone, he flat-out refused. Tyler looked so much like young Chrissy that it always weirds me out to see Chris's school pictures. Anyway, Tyler told all of my classmates that I was his girlfriend, I guess he thought I wasn't being teased enough already. He had this really terrible OC, this middle-aged guy with slick hair and a leather jacket. He used to come up with stupid stories where his OC would be dating whatever character was supposed to be me. Tyler left in the third grade but came back in the fifth and immediately started bothering me again. This time he told all of the other boys in the class that he was in love with me.

I remember Tyler and his mom handing out filthy Scooby Doo birthday invitations in the school parking lot. I pity any kid that made the mistake of going to that "party." Tyler's mom was a complete psychopath. Tyler used to tell me stories about his mom beating the shit out of his sister, at the time I thought he was lying because he would laugh like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think Tyler's mom had Munchhausen Syndrome, it seemed like her daughter was constantly being injured. One day she ran over her daughter with her car, leaving the little girl with permanent brain damage. Right after it happened she was telling my mom and some other women at the school how it happened, all the while laughing about it like it was hysterical.

I tried looking Tyler up on Facebook, but there are two people who could be him. He's either a tomgirl who constantly posts random access humor, or a fat goth dude who's really into Nicholas Sparks. Both are equally likely.[/SPOILER]
 
telegramsamo said:
My elementary school stalker and his psychotic mom:
Way back in the second grade, I had assigned seating next to this spergy kid named Tyler. I made the mistake of being somewhat nice to him, so he decided to follow me everywhere. I actually used to beg him to leave me alone, he flat-out refused. Tyler looked so much like young Chrissy that it always weirds me out to see Chris's school pictures. Anyway, Tyler told all of my classmates that I was his girlfriend, I guess he thought I wasn't being teased enough already. He had this really terrible OC, this middle-aged guy with slick hair and a leather jacket. He used to come up with stupid stories where his OC would be dating whatever character was supposed to be me. Tyler left in the third grade but came back in the fifth and immediately started bothering me again. This time he told all of the other boys in the class that he was in love with me.

I remember Tyler and his mom handing out filthy Scooby Doo birthday invitations in the school parking lot. I pity any kid that made the mistake of going to that "party." Tyler's mom was a complete psychopath. Tyler used to tell me stories about his mom beating the shit out of his sister, at the time I thought he was lying because he would laugh like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think Tyler's mom had Munchhausen Syndrome, it seemed like her daughter was constantly being injured. One day she ran over her daughter with her car, leaving the little girl with permanent brain damage. Right after it happened she was telling my mom and some other women at the school how it happened, all the while laughing about it like it was hysterical.

I tried looking Tyler up on Facebook, but there are two people who could be him. He's either a tomgirl who constantly posts random access humor, or a fat goth dude who's really into Nicholas Sparks. Both are equally likely.[/SPOILER]
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The mother isn't much of a lolcow, but rather an ohgodwhycow. :cryblood: Where were the child protective services?
 
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