Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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Lolcow I knew in real life would be this dude at my high school I'll call Nick A. Now, Nick A is almost a parody of a "whigga". A "whigga" is a white guy who acts like a stereotypical black guy. Dude was fucking hilarious. Here he is, a skinny white dude, talking like the sort of stereotypical hoodlum that haunts old racist people's nightmares. He's all like "Yo, knowwhati'msaying, I'm from the ghetto son, I'm keeping it real." This is a guy who grew up in one of the richest counties in the country and seemed to believe that he was living in the inner city. He was also a fanatical fan of Kayne West, wasn't all that smart, and might have been armored closet gay. He was hilarious.
 
The community I grew up in had a Star Wars FanForce, and the founder of it was an exceptional individual. I don't believe it exists anymore since we grew up and the new generation of Star Wars fans are troglodytes.
Lets call him Gabriel, we arent friends anymore IMO. Anyway he always had a little bit of an unhealthy interest in Natalie Portman (nothing wrong with that. She's one of the hottest white women of all time.) but when Episode I came out, it pushed him over the edge. We were playing the Star Wars RPG at the time, and he was an ok GM. Before Episode II at least, thats when things got really autistic. But Padmé had way too much significance in the games he made up. Anyway, around the time Episode II came out, we were basically playing his sex fantasies. Complete with Anakin complaining he wasn't getting any over a Holocom,that was a common thing for him, I dont know why. He had a fanfiction book that we found at one point and since he was out,we read for shits and giggles. It was fetishitistic as hell, the main thing was femdom, but not against him, IIRC they were self inserts, so like Anakin got teased and denied and Bounty Hunter Gabriel or Jedi Gabriel came and got laid in front of Anakin and Anakin bitched and got off. Not kidding, that was 90% of his Fanfiction. He also had a custom made T-shirt that said "Are you an Angel from the moons of lego?" And had Padmé holding her breasts. And he didnt just wear it to the FanForce, he wore it as much as he could. In fact there was a game that he made up about Padmé giving the group playing a quest, and the one who did the quest the best got to fuck her. He got kicked out of the group eventually, and he runs a Padmé/Anakin fansite called Moons of lego now.We havent talked in ages. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
I could tell more stories about this guy if you want me to.

Do tell.
 
. Or when she was trying to buy two grilled cheeses from down an entire hallway for less the cost of one. Side note: There was a huge line for the grilled cheese and she tried to buy one by yelling down the hall while the guy making them told her she didn't have enough money and even if she did she'd have to get in line.

This was my favorite part.
 
I almost married one.

I tried to write a coherent story about it, but I'll just give the highlights.

She was a bit of an SJW. She couldn't get ahead because she was a woman, over weight, pagan and 1/4 Native American, but you'd never know the last one if she didn't bring it up constantly.

I'll give her a little credit, she never gave radical Islam a pass.

If I gave another girl a second glance, she'd throw a fit.

She had major elitism and entitlement issues. She got her animation degree from Full Sail, and with her additional associates in web design and a bachelors degree in art, she was going to be bringing in 6 figures by the time she was 30.

Pitched a fit when her grandparents only gave her $25 on her birthday. She was 27, and they along with her stepfather had helped pay her way to college.

There was a christmas party at her work and everyone got her some sort of present. They weren't good enough for her and I watched her take them out of the trunk of her car and throw them right in the garbage can.

That car I just mentioned was supposed to be OUR car, since I had to cosign for it. I can count on one hand the number of times I was allowed to drive it, and it was never for more than a couple of miles down the street.

For an artist, animator, and web designer, I can count on one hand how many times she brought out the paints, easel and canvas, I never saw her work on any CG stuff, and maybe once or twice she putzed around on her overloaded with flash and right click disabled web site. I don't recall ever seeing her demo reel and if I did it wasn't anything special.

For someone who supposedly loved me and wanted me to succeed, she went out of her way to sabotage my attempts while squandering her chances, then blaming it on being oppressed.

She couldn't be bothered with most housework or cooking because her part time desk job was sooo tiring and doormat sikotik was there and would do anything she asked.

She thought that mentally ill people were weak and needed to suck it up, because she was raped and got over it without any therapy or meds.

She really wanted me to go back to school and major in computer science since I was good with computers. I told her that I didn't think I had the head for all of the mathematics involved, and if she got upset with me spending more than an hour trying to build my modeling and animation skills then how would she deal with me sitting at the kitchen table doing math homework ALL NIGHT like my father had to. She said it was different because I was never going to get anywhere with animation because I didn't go to Full Sail like she did or an AI or SCAD, etc. Eventually she settled for me getting another associate, this time in filmmaking.

SO while I'm going to school all day and working all night, she's cheating on me with one of her students. It's not that freaky since they were both in their late 20's. I found out and she said that I was a schizophrenic and I scared her despite never having done a single thing to warrant it. And thus it ended. I moved back to my old apartment with my old roommate and his new meth addict abusive roommate which I mentioned in the Welfare thread.

Last I heard she married the guy, got divorced 2 year later and was waiting tables and selling art on the side. No six figure salary at PIXAR or whatever the fuck she thought she was going to do.

And I'm on the :tugboat:.

I guess in the end I'm the lolcow for putting up with her as long as I did and letting it break me.
 
tell more stories, these are gold
 
I've been lurking here for 40+ pages, and what could be more fitting for my first post than a quick little LOLcow story of someone I knew in high school.

Anyways, my personal LOLcow was your typical Alex Jones/NWO obsessed/9-11 was an inside job fanatic. She also had a few socialist/communist tendancies.

The sad part is, she started out as a more or less normal person in my freshmen and sophmore years and we were good friends. She started becoming a LOLcow around junior year. Also around this time, she stopped coming to school. I forgot why she stopped coming, but everyone in school just assumed that she was dead.

When I had her on my FB list, she would always, and I mean ALWAYS, post links to news stories that may or not actually be true. All of the links, the only one that stands out to me is this story that Pepsi was made from aborted baby fetuses (Yes, she thought this was legit news)

Normally, I would just ignore her spam on my newsfeed, but it soon got pretty bad when she started spamming MY wall with her 'news' stories. Eventually, I decided that enough was enough and did what several of classmates already did and unfriended her.

Not entirely sure what she's up to today, but I'm pretty sure that she's a lost cause at this point.
 
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There's this guy I work with who's actually pretty nice, he's friendly and does his job well, but who is almost at a Chris-like level of desperation for a girlfriend.

It's weird, he doesn't do anything creepy, doesn't touch any of us girls, or stare inappropriately, or make lewd comments. He just REALLY wants a girlfriend. And he asks EVERYBODY advice and stuff because he has such crap self-esteem. He asked me and at least three other girls at work if we thought he was attractive, and to 'rate' him on a scale of one to ten. (Interestingly, we all said 'seven' just because we didn't want to hurt his feelings and 7/10 is still a C.) He asked if he should keep growing his goatee or shave it off, should he get contacts, what kind of guys do I go for, what should he ask or talk about with a girl has interested in... he asked me what it meant when a girl smiled at him (my answer: 'It means she smiled at you.') He even asked me to compare him and another of our male coworkers one a one-to-ten scale and asked this same guy to be his wingman so he could meet girls.

It's kind of sad. He's not a creep about it, and isn't demanding attention or affection, and he just genuinely seems lonely and wants companionship. It's not like he's Chris and every girl at work is a potential sweetheart. So it's hard to be cross with him. Mostly I just feel really sorry for him because he has zero self-esteem.

Maybe we could take a collection at work and pay an escort or something...
 
This is my favorite IMDb sperg, Alex. He is a huge Nostalgia Critic fan-boy, and is unable to form his own opinions about anything. He's actually admitted that he's stopped liking things just because someone on TGWTG gave it a negative review. I first encountered him on the Rupert Everett message boards.
bKueCmd.png
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Here are some highlights from one of his dumber lists, his "dream cast" for a movie about Uwe Boll.
LeJpgLF.png
haxD1Ya.png
9xkBiXN.png
nU6bGcx.png
Some movie "reviews."
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...And here are a couple of gems from his Facebook page.
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QaLY4U4.png
 
This is my favorite IMDb sperg, Alex. He is a huge Nostalgia Critic fan-boy, and is unable to form his own opinions about anything. He's actually admitted that he's stopped liking things just because someone on TGWTG gave it a negative review. I first encountered him on the Rupert Everett message boards.
bKueCmd.png
6eahN9c.png
Here are some highlights from one of his dumber lists, his "dream cast" for a movie about Uwe Boll.
LeJpgLF.png
haxD1Ya.png
9xkBiXN.png
nU6bGcx.png
Some movie "reviews."
fh5CFYp.png
...And here are a couple of gems from his Facebook page.
7n2hoMO.png


QaLY4U4.png

So, he's got unlimited potential for sperging.

Seriously, great find. This guy made me laugh when he seriously talked about putting Spoony and Doug Walker in a biopic about Uwe Boll. Wow, just wow.
 
So, he's got unlimited potential for sperging.

I've actually sent him messages, but he never responds to anything. He's kind of rude, like, he'll ask people for information, and he never says "thank you" when he gets it.
 
This is my favorite IMDb sperg, Alex. He is a huge Nostalgia Critic fan-boy, and is unable to form his own opinions about anything. He's actually admitted that he's stopped liking things just because someone on TGWTG gave it a negative review. I first encountered him on the Rupert Everett message boards.
bKueCmd.png
6eahN9c.png
Here are some highlights from one of his dumber lists, his "dream cast" for a movie about Uwe Boll.
LeJpgLF.png
haxD1Ya.png
9xkBiXN.png
nU6bGcx.png
Some movie "reviews."
fh5CFYp.png
...And here are a couple of gems from his Facebook page.
7n2hoMO.png


QaLY4U4.png
Jesus Christ.
Is it wrong that I want this person to make some youtube videos that I could watch in horror?
 
Here's a couple of minor ones.

Linkara

Some TGWTG reviewer who went on a tangent last year throwing his fans that use Adblock under the bus. Honestly, if it wasn't for his cameos in the NC reviews, nobody would've given two shits about his comic book and Power Rangers videos.

Kevin Craft

Some supposed comedian/news reporter that makes money off people's deaths (Andy GRIFFIN) and other tragedies. Also, he thinks anyone that calls him out for his YouTube whore actions is a 'hater' Just pathetic.
 
This is my favorite IMDb sperg, Alex. He is a huge Nostalgia Critic fan-boy, and is unable to form his own opinions about anything. He's actually admitted that he's stopped liking things just because someone on TGWTG gave it a negative review. I first encountered him on the Rupert Everett message boards.
bKueCmd.png
6eahN9c.png
Here are some highlights from one of his dumber lists, his "dream cast" for a movie about Uwe Boll.
LeJpgLF.png
haxD1Ya.png
9xkBiXN.png
nU6bGcx.png
Some movie "reviews."
fh5CFYp.png
...And here are a couple of gems from his Facebook page.
7n2hoMO.png


QaLY4U4.png
I thought Swept Away ruined Madonna's film career and W.E was the final nail in the bloated zombie corpse? I can't stand TGWTG ugh..
 

Let's watch a Nostalgia Critic wannabe reviewing an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine that RUINED HIS CHILDHOOD FOREVAR ;_;

Also, be sure to act angry a lot to attract attention from the viewers!
 
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