I haven’t made a Jeffrey update in a while, so let’s check in on him!
Yesterday was his first court date over the incident in January. I actually ended up having to drive him there, because he can’t drive himself anymore and his mother didn’t wanna take off work. Nothing much happened. Much like OPL’s saga, it was just a continuance.
He didn’t say much in the courtroom but I could tell that this whole saga is doing precisely nothing to curb his smugness. He still believes that he’s the victim here. I know because he ranted to me both to and from the courthouse about how the legal system is broken and how it’s just put into place so that “microdick judges” can bully people and feel superior to them and curb their own insecurities.
He actually bothered to dress nicely despite not taking this as seriously as he should be, however. I figured he’d just wear, like, a T-shirt or something but he surprisingly opted for a dress shirt and tie with a nice cardigan sweater.
Oh! An addendum: He's still convinced that he's got a shot at winning an election (though he seems to have accepted that he's too young to run for governor). I dunno what he plans to run for now. I'm not even sure he knows. I'm assuming mayor, or city council or something. Point is, he doesn't seem to realize what he will and won't be able to do in this position, and he plans on getting rid of all the judges in our area and using the position to bully the guy taking him to court.
It's been over a year since I first posted about "Laurelle," my pet New Age lolcow.
Upon reading my initial post, I had to shake my head at how little has changed between then and now; at 45, she's still the same trainwreck, and still learns nothing from each new disaster she gets herself into. Everything bad that happens to her is still somebody or something else's doing. She's still waiting for the Universe to give her everything she dreams about (and throws raging pity-parties for herself because all of the stuff she's been imagining into being still hasn't shown up). She's still effectively homeless; at this writing she is sponging off her sister and BIL again, as she has so many times over the past decade, but they're about to kick her out again.
She did finally, after almost five years (she started school again in the fall of 2012), complete her post-Bac BFA in Art over the summer. Yes, a (useless) degree that would have taken a normal person maybe a year and a half to complete took this fruitcake five fucking years, during which she did not work, and used student loans to subsidize her existence. Laurelle last held a full-time job in 2010, and has been unemployed almost continuously ever since (she spent two years using up all of her unemployment benefits, and the last five years almost entirely dependent upon student loan money; she has virtually no income now).
I honestly believe she went back to school solely so she wouldn't have to get a job, and only got her shit together and graduated because she couldn't get further loans in order to keep going. Her current ambition is to get into grad school for an MFA in Art so she can teach at college level (but more on that later).
And she did graduate from Flagship State U, the same university that had her on a shitlist and wasn't going to readmit her after she went all crazy-stalker on a prof and asked him to marry her. Somehow, she talked her way back onto campus and was able to complete her degree there.
Laurelle is still besotted with that same prof, still thinks he's her Mr. Perfect, and still wants to marry him, even though he has never shown any interest in her, has not voluntarily spoken to her since her insane marriage proposal, and has not made any contact with her at all in the two full years since she proposed. He no longer teaches at Flagship State U, having moved (with his much-younger, super-cute girlfriend, who I'm pretty sure he's going to marry and make super-cute babies with) to yet another college town.
The hilarious thing (among so many) is that Laurelle believes that he has moved to another city entirely. She's pretty fucking dumb, tbh, so I think she looked at his Facebook and mistook the city and university where he got his graduate degree for where he's actually living and teaching now. He has since updated his FB with his new location, but I guess she's not Facebook-stalking him (probs because she can't deal with all of the pics of him looking happy and enraptured with his cutiepie gf instead of HER), so she still doesn't know he's not living where she thinks he is.
The torch she carries for this former prof burns as bright as ever, and she still believes that through the sheer, world-bending power of her focused desire, he will eventually come to his senses and decide Laurelle's the woman for him. Because of this, she's still trying to arrange her life in ways that will make it easier for her beloved to come to her once he changes his mind. Currently, her big plan is to move to a city that is in the same state as her beloved (only he's not there, remember?). It's among the worst big cities I can imagine for a homeless, long-unemployed, car-less, completely broke middle-aged woman with multiple health issues to move to, and it's still a six-hour drive to the city where she believes her beloved resides. She might as well stay in the city she's in, where she already knows how to get around and what homeless services are available, and the local culture is not so geared toward chewing up losers and spitting them out.
BUT NO. That would be a rational, logical decision, and this is Laurelle. She's been begging on that city's Craigslist for free housing in exchange for light housekeeping (and getting pissy when guys offer her places to stay in exchange for sex). But she doesn't like dogs, won't be a nanny to your kids, can't lift more than 20 lbs and has no caregiving certifications, won't do office work for your business, won't drive your car to run errands (and doesn't have one of her own, so you have to be on a bus line), and if you enjoy 420 or drink or smoke, forget it. So, needless to say, she's had no takers, and if she does get one, I will hotly anticipate the drama when she arrives and finds that things are not to her liking. Typical choosy beggar, she wants to set all the terms, and anyone who has their own ideas is an abusive, game-playing bully.
And she wonders why nothing ever works out for her, and why all of the stuff she's dreamed of has never become her reality. Yikes.
Okay, on to Laurelle's dreams of getting into an MFA program and one day becoming a famous artist. I've compiled a few images of her work, so you can be the judge of her fitness for graduate fine arts studies. I have to confess that this is a rather tepid assortment of her work, but all of the "best" stuff was heavily watermarked. One thing I've noticed about some artcows is that the less skilled they are, the more worried they are that someone is going to steal their work, so they watermark the everloving shit out of it. Laurelle is no exception. But nearly all of these images were created within the past year, and most of them within the last six months, so they are representative of her current skills and conceptual level.
Laurelle loves cats. She cannot draw or paint them for shit, but she doesn't let that stop her. She was so proud of this one, she entered it in a juried show (lol no, she didn't get in):
Is Kitty sitting next to her round bed, or is she contemplating drowning herself in her water dish? So many layers of meaning.
She was into horses last month. Markers and gel pens are totally fine art media, and Laurelle won't let any snobs tell her they aren't.
THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN, MAN.
I think this is a little over a year old, and painted for an actual watercolor class at a university. I've long taken a dim view of university Fine Arts departments that allow all comers, with little regard for skill or talent, to major in Art just to keep enrollment numbers up and justify the major's continued existence. The level of cynicism and disregard that lets them justify granting a BFA to someone like Laurelle is pretty staggering, imo.
This is a betta fish. No, really.
One of her final courses before graduating was a digital drawing and illustration class. The last three images were all produced as assignments for that class, and earned her at least a B in the class (she would have boasted about an A and whined about a C).
This is a dragon. I know it doesn't look like a dragon, but Laurelle said it was.
A dog.
A beach scene--and one of the most complicated digital images she's ever made. Laurelle has made a tiny bit of money selling very basic digital images on stock photo sites for about seven or eight years now, so using Illustrator and Photoshop were nothing new for her. And yet this is the sum of all the skills she's picked up on her own over the years, or learned in class.
I don't know how much student loan debt Laurelle took on in order to get this vanity BFA and a useless portfolio full of terrible art, but there is no possibility that she will ever begin to repay it. Right now, she needs $300 to repay an emergency loan she got from Flagship State U before they will release her transcripts so she can apply to grad school, and she's trying to convince her sick, elderly, recently-widowed mother, who is on a fixed income, to make small payments on it every month.
Sometimes I think that I really want to start a thread on Laurelle, because she's just so fucking crazy, and such a covert Narcissist, and such a stunning example of Dunning-Kruger in action. But she abandoned the internet for 10 straight months once when she had too many people calling her on her shit--none of my searches have turned up any trace of her during that period--and I don't want to see her vanish again. It's grimly fascinating, watching her keep spiraling downward, while never learning and never changing, and when she goes SPLAT! I want to be able to watch.
Strap in, y'all, because I got a doozy of one from good ol' Florida. It isn't a person, but a Facebook page.
A few weeks ago, this guy at work told me about something he found scouring through comments on the H&R Block Facebook page. A group dedicated to 'exposing' a supposed crime that H&R Block covered up down in Alachua County, Florida in 2014. Posts on the page regularly talk about the corruption in H&R Block and the Alachua country sheriff's department, as well as numerous references to the former sheriff being gay, and using "Baker Acted" as a regular verb.
And as if to drive the crazy train home, here is a sample of the type of images they make:
Laurelle's been trying to find some poor sucker on Craigslist to give her free rent for a long time now. She claims she will work in exchange for a room, or even just a couch when she's really desperate.
But there are certain tasks that, as a Munchie/spoonie, she insists she can't do, and others she doesn't want to do, and there are a whole bunch of conditions you and your household have to meet in order to have the privilege of giving her a free room, because Laurelle epitomizes the term "choosy beggar."
These two CL ads are fairly recent examples.
This was posted on her local CL--we'll call it River City.
And this one was posted on the same day, to the inhospitable and unpleasant city--let's just call it Shitsville--that she's trying desperately to move to:
Such a pleasant person, who totally has her shit together, and is sure to be so helpful and easy to live with, right? And this is what she's like when she's trying to put up a good front!
By the way, her education is not in social work. She earned a BA in psychology over 20 years ago, and pursued no further education or credentials in the field. Her sole "social work" job was straight out of college, when she briefly worked in a residence for troubled teens in which she did no counselling and made no treatment decisions. Her "criminal justice" background is just as flimsy; she worked as a process server 7-8 years ago--her last full-time, steady job that allowed her to support herself. Ever since then, she's been in search of a tugboat, and completely resistant to doing any jobs she doesn't care for or believes are "beneath" her.
Inflating her credentials, believing she deserves special treatment and consideration from other people (while offering little in return), and holding herself exempt from doing the things the rest of us common slobs do to survive--or turn our lives around--are all symptoms of her Narcissism. And so, for that matter, is her constant drama, conflict, and strife, in which she is always being picked on and persecuted. Laurelle is a remarkable example of what's called a covert, or fragile Narcissist, as opposed to the classic type; instead of being a Master of the Universe, she's a Perpetual Victim, but she's just as grandiose, lacking in empathy, and exploitative in her own way.
Myself and some friends have been fucking with a personal lolcow for going on 2 years now. Alas, I'll probably never post a thread about him because the tard cum he produces is dependent on interacting with him, and he has no real online presence when not making burner accounts to fuck with people on various social media platforms (gotta hide himself from the Soros Obama NWO! See below for explanation).
So, in lieu of that, here's some facts and info about an autistic conspiratard named "Jay". I'll break it up into bullet points since it's a LOT of info (2+ years worth):
Furry
Oscillates between considering himself bi and considering himself trans.
Diaper fetish (we've archived dozens of pics he's posted around the net)
Micropenis (also archived)
Alex Jones-loving conspiratard
Weeaboo; makes impotent threats about killing people with a katana.
Autism, co-morbid with Schizoaffective disorder, which is a helluva combination.
Schizoaffective disorder apparently started to manifest around the time he had his first and only girlfriend. She turned him down for sex after seeing his penis and it broke his brain. He's been harassing her for 6 years now.
Unemployed
Considers himself a l337 hax0r; isn't. He once tried to "hack" a friend by copy/pasting source code to a virus into a Facebook message.
Spends all day, and often stays up for days at a time with no sleep, attacking his online enemies
Keep getting arrested, most recently for a hate crime version of harassment. Has been arrested at least 3 times this year, but keeps beating any real punishment the same reason Chris-Chan (does using his :autism: as a scapegoat).
Is convinced that everyone he doesn't like (like, he'll retcon people he went to school with that picked on him) is a part of an antifa NWO agenda headed by Obama and Soros to mind control the USA into adopting communism by poisoning the water and shooting people full of vaccines.
Used to love cops, but now considers them a part of the NWO commie agenda since getting arrested repeatedly.
Thinks that he is one of the only people that is protecting Trump from getting assassinated and that he has personally thwarted multiple assassination attempts by "trolling" people online.
Literally the most autistic attempts at "trolling" I've ever seen; signs up for dozens of spam Facebook/Twitter/etc. accounts per day, using the names of his enemies and uses them to threaten his other enemies; e.g. if he's mad at Bob Smith and Dave Jones, he'll make an account named "Dave Smith" to harass Bob with and vice versa. His goal is to get both of the targets he impersonates arrested. Somehow. Even though the cops are also NWO agents.
Despite the autistic trolling, he doesn't use a proxy or a burner VOIP number or anything, also has a very distinct way of typing and can't stop sperging about the NWO, making it extremely easy for the cops to track him down, which has resulted in his 3 arrests and counting.
Sends death threats from his own phone number, registered in his name.
Banned from every pizza place in a 30 mile radius around him because he kept trying to pizza swat his local enemies... but used his real phone number for all the orders.
Actually racist (not "everything is racist" tumblr shit).
Despite this, we have unearthed a video of him getting fucked in the ass by a niggo he met on Xtube.
Mother developed alcoholism due to having to deal with his bullshit. When triggered, Jay will drive over to her house and throw a kicking, screaming tantrum, often assaulting her, breaking shit, etc.
Despite this, she white knights him to an absurd degree.
Brags about sending nudes of himself to his own sister to "trigger" her, after he decided she's a part of the NWO agenda or whatever, after she asked their mom to please get control of him.
Entire family is white trash to the extreme; dad and (now dead) brother have a long rap sheet of assault and other violent crimes.
The circumstances leading to his first arrest were hilarious. He made threats to a Jewish dude on Twitter, the cops showed up to talk to him about it and he swore it wasn't him and that it was a "false flag". After the cop left, he got in his car and drove over to the Jewish dude's house to try and make good on his threats. The same cop that gave him a talking to earlier was the arresting officere.
Is trying to sue the police department for "collusion with communists" and for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act due to his being autistic; thinks being autistic is a get out of (literal) jail free card.
Current status: he is now harassing the cops in his town using the same tactics, which I'm sure will end well for him.
Fuck, that's a lot of info and it's only about 1/3rd of the info we have. Sorry for the length guys! I really wish I could just post a thread about him, but as mentioned, he doesn't have a web presence outside of harassing people that come onto his radar by happenstance, which is a shame because he is the perfect storm of lolcow traits: conspiratard, autism, troon (maybe), weeb, etc.
Jay was recently arrested for making death threats to his local chief of police and several of the officers and detectives that were involved in his 3 other arrests this year.
He is currently charged with 7 felonies (all related to threatening to kill cops) and currently sits in jail, apparently having been denied bail. Police are investigating some of the other recent complaints about him and he may likely face additional charges. He's been in there for 10 days now and will likely be going away for a very, very long time.
Got a beautiful one today. I was invited to a group chat by this guy I was friends with, though not closely. He always had a bit of cringe to him, so being in a group chat helped me avoid actually hanging out with him.
I was never in the chat too much and muted it, but saw endless sperging over politics and Homestuck by him and the other main Autist in the chat. The one person I got along with there just told me they both ended a 7+ year long friendship with her because they were pissy at a fucking Homestuck quiz. Also because she and I, both women, disagreed with their enlightened male feminist opinions on professional victims like Sarkeesian. By far the funniest thing was this guy trying to talk down to her and manipulate the conversation in her favor, while jacking off over being a male feminiiist.
My Naruto lolcow got banned from the forums. People were just putting her on ignore so her posts wouldn't be visible, but she kept trying to respond to everyone saying stuff like "you're wrong. This is what the manga says. Your opinion isn't fact. Kishi said this so it must be true." Yadda yadda yadda. Eventually the mods got tired of this, called her out on just wanting to pick fights with people and banned her.
One of the last things she was fighting was the concepts of "moe" and "tsundere." Basically saying Hinata doesn't elicit a desire to protect her or Sakura doesn't come off as tsundere. So what did the other guys do? They started pulling up entries on TV Tropes that listed those characters as having those traits to show how people view them. Cow starts trying to say TV Tropes doesn't count since it can be edited when the ban hits her. Afterwards, she's been spotted on TV Tropes itself trying to remove those entries.
I can only imagine her as the type of author (since she doesn't shut up about having studied writing in college) that would get into arguments with her readers, the type people would rally around to watch the shitstorm.
I knew a girl who got knocked up at 16. She transitioned to a male later in life but still looks like a very pretty girl. She has a fetish for robots, specifically General Grevous from Star Wars.
I knew a girl who got knocked up at 16. She transitioned to a male later in life but still looks like a very pretty girl. She has a fetish for robots, specifically General Grevous from Star Wars.
I listen to country music. I'm not afraid to admit that I like a lot of it. I really like Alan Jackson. For those not familiar, he was one of the biggest singers in the genre in the 90s. His songs are usually very twangy and well-received by those who like a "traditional" sound.
This guy I know has been on a campaign for about a year now, insisting that Alan "killed country" simply by singing about beer and using words like "redneck". Because no other country artist has done that before, right?
He labels Alan as a "sellout" who does "bro-country", equating him with artists like Florida Georgia Line or Sam Hunt.
His response to someone on a blog:
This is almost like a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome, that you traditional country fans are praising the very same man who had a major role in destroying country music and leading to why so many people hate country music nowadays. I'll have you know it was Jackson who lived up to negative stereotypes of country music involving rednecks, mud, beer, trucks, and NASCAR like in his songs "It's Alright to Be a Redneck" and "Country Boy". It was Jackson who made country music look stupid and ignorant, in his 9/11-exploiting song where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran. It was Jackson who covered Wiz Khalifa's "We Dem Boyz" and Akon's "Don't Matter" at his concerts. And it was Jackson who had a major hand in killing country music. And he had the balls to SING ABOUT HIS OWN CRIME!!! To anyone with even a basic understanding of what country music, Alan Jackson is his "music" career has been nothing short of a complete and utter disgrace to country music, leading the genre being the laughing stock it is today. And you think I'm a "fucking idiot"? Well, Alan Jackson is a fucking disgrace to country music and its traditions, an insult to true country music. Alan Jackson is not even an artist, he's basically a corporate Nashville puppet. The corporate Nashville machine must be so proud. He's nothing but a sellout, a budget Nickelback, a corporate mouthpiece. It will be his fate to go down in music history as the next Nickelback. Calling his music country is like calling Drake heavy metal. Alan Jackson is biggest disgrace to country music in its entire history.
#AlanJacksonKilledCountry
For those that don't know, the "sing about his own crime" line refers to a song he did called "Murder on Music Row", which was an ironic commentary on pop influence in country music -- a song that came out in 2000, a decade before Florida Georgia Line even existed.
Many of his arguments are that nearly verbatim, even quoting the Iraq/Iran line in his 9/11 song. Okay, we get it. Country got really jingoistic after 9/11. He's far from the only guilty party there if you don't like that kind of thing.
He's also vandalized setlists on setlist.fm to make it look like Alan covered Wiz Khalifa and Akon in concert, even though there is absolutely no proof, and uses this as further "proof" that Alan "killed country".
Even worse, he's spread to Wikipedia now, and is using his hashtag in edit summaries, while vandalizing articles about Alan Jackson and his recordings, using the setlist.fm page as "proof". Already, two of his sockpuppets have been blocked.
I can understand if a song like this or this isn't your cup of tea, but to think it's exactly the same stylistically as this (which actually was produced by the same producer who worked for Nickelback) is unfathomable.
When this guy isn't bashing an artist who doesn't in any way deserve it, he's retweeting random and often contradictory tweets about Trump. I honestly don't know if he's on the left or right.
So there's a woman I know who's notorious for being a cow in the town I grew up in. She's one of those long, sad cases where a decent person with ambitions falls hard into drugs and never really recovers afterwards. In this particular case though she went from being a bit of a cow to being a grade-A massive 24/7 cow with no personality other than their cowness.
A local edgelord used to host parties - death metal, vodka, smashing things, fire. Take what you'd expect from the teenage death-metal stereotype and add 20 years and you're pretty close. This girl fell hard for him. He didn't reciprocate and wound up moving far away, getting married and having kids. This didn't deter her and several years ago she followed him with complete conviction that he would drop his relationship to be with her.
The reason I know all of this is because she posts about it constantly on her public facebook wall. These posts are generally her spewing purple prose about how much he needs her or she needs him, and the comments are almost always nothing but people who used to be her friends or know her saying that she needs to give up and get on with her life.
She tends to respond to this sort of criticism with walls of text. MASSIVE WALLS. Recently she's gone into overdrive with him deciding to spend christmas with.. his family, rather than his stalker.
You guys are all horrible. Seriously. Yeah, maybe I am weak. Maybe I am.
I love a man. I love an incredibly difficult and fucked up man. Because I know the man. I know him better than anyone and he knows that and that is scary for him. I know exactly what is going on, I am being what he needs me to be for as long as he needs me to be it because I love him unconditionally.
He is a severely fucked up, jaded, and damaged human being... I will be the first to say that... but he's not a horrible one. But I am equally as fucked up and broken.
When you seek someone specific for comfort, there is a reason.... that person actually comforts you. But the idea of something real scares a lot of people... especially if that real thing isn't fucking afraid to shower them with almost as much honesty as they do love and adoration. When you have lived for 40 years with nearly everyone in your life spewing nothing but lies and garbage, the presence of honesty can be terrifying and intimidating and quite unnerving. I tell it like it is, without a filter. That is why I don't have many friends and, well, as an avid observer, I can say that most people aren't worth being friends with period.
There is a lot of pain and hardship that comes with being a person who lives a truly authentic life with no masks and facades, with no interest in painting a world of lies.
For any of you shits to sit here and judge the man I love, that you don't even know, you are basing your judgements on my stupid, incessant need to focus on and dwell over the bad shit.
It's me. Don't you get it? I am the problem, or I am half of the problem and I am the first to admit that. I am cynical. I am jaded. I assume the worst of every single person I see. I am unrelentingly pessimistic. I take the back seat and allow depression to take the wheel because, in true depressive fashion, It's easier to just lay down and take it.
Honestly, it was my own fuck-ups that made things rocky with him to begin. When I started to get to know him, I was doing so on my own and it was great.... but the spark... there was something special and I was afraid. I was afraid I wouldn't be interesting enough and so I needed to find out more to hold his interest.... which wasn't even waning at the time so, looking back, I don't really know why I was worried about it... maybe because I had never felt anything like this and I didn't want to lose it.... but that was where I made my first, and biggest mistake of my life.... I decided that, to get closer to him (as I was an outsider to the entire group) I needed to befriend his friends. Little did I know that there was a huge, huge difference between his actual friends.... And the people he partied with. Naive and stupid, I assumed they were one and the same. Regardless, I decided that I needed to make friends with the people I thought were his friends because I wanted to know MORE about him and how he works because there was something very special there, right from the start. And I just wanted to unravel the enigma.
Biggest mistake ever. I should have just kept going on my own with him... it was fine, I don't know why I thought I needed them? Maybe it was excitement? I was eager to know more about the man I was falling head-over-heels for. I should have just trusted myself. I had this in the bag. But instead, I thought I needed to befriend them and earn their approval. Biggest mistake ever.
But I'm not going to get into that right now because it's a fucking huge novel of lies and deceit with a psychopathic collective of fucked up individuals who had nothing better to do with their lives than to fuck with two people, who were outcasts amongst a group of outcasts, out of boredom and jealousy.
And that is exactly what it was, jealousy. I didn't come to accept that until recently. Why didn't I think of it sooner? Because the way I saw it was "Who the fuck would be jealous of something like me?"
But it makes so much more sense now. The more we hung out, the more he started paying attention to me, the closer we got, the angrier they got. The girls that had been ignoring him for years and constantly trash talking him suddenly started paying attention to him and going after me. They simply couldn't handle him a) not paying attention to them, b) him paying attention to someone else and c) him paying attention to someone they deemed inferior in every way.
I had toyed with this idea once or twice in my head but always dismissed it because I thought it came off as incredibly conceited.... once again, "how could anybody possibly be jealous of something like me?" It wasn't until a few others pointed out the same thing.... And even if those people aren't in my life any more, I am forever grateful for them helping me see what I refused to let myself see: they were jealous and they saw me as a threat. And if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have kept going on my own, politely declined any invitation of friendship from the others, because none of them were genuine anyway.... And today would be very, very, very different.
And so it is my own fucking mistakes that have made this what it is.... but there is also a light...And I know there is hope that the damage they caused can be undone, for both of us. Because those shitlords, they are just going to be miserable until the day they die. You can't tell me that people who scam their friends out of thousands of dollars for drugs under the guise of a gofundme for rehab, or bitches who dress like 14 year old anime girls and fist themselves on camera for money because they have no real world skills or anything else going for them in life are actually happy or will ever be truly happy.
I have ran away with this response because I am fucking passionate as hell, so back to my original point:
He's not a monster. He is no more wrong in this situation than I am. I own my fuck-ups and shortcomings. Nobody else can properly judge the situation because they dont know it. Even from me, they only get the bad parts. The good parts? There are A LOT of them.... I just don't post about them very much or I am more vague because... I dont really know why. Fear? The fewer who know about the good, the fewer there are to destroy it?
Every time I glance at her wall there's at least one textwall this long from her, saying almost exactly the same things.
I was friends with a woman for a while who looking back was pretty weird and it gets weirder the more I think about it. She's pretty unremarkable now that she's gone full blown SJW with a Twitter feed not that unlike Andrew Dobson's but she was really something before.
First off I should note that I was 15-16 at the time and my friend was about 34 at the time. We met over DeviantArt and bonded over a mutual appreciation of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. She was super chill but was always pretty awful at dealing with trolls. By trolls I mean random rude comments from people who provoked her into shutdown mode and usually resulted in a few angry journals. In the time I've known her she's gone through two Deviantart accounts, Tumblr, Facebook, and now just stays on Twitter. More on that later.
I do feel bad talkin crap about her because she's was very generous in sending me some really neat Star Trek stuff and autographed photos. Thing was, as soon as she had my address she started sending me TONS of stuff. I don't really know how much money she spent on me without me asking her to but I now have lot of TWOK stuff from when the movie came out, along with some art dolls she made. I don't have a lot of space in my room and some of the dolls she sent were actually kind of massive (she made a life-sized Khan doll once, though that wasn't what she sent) so at some point I just nicely told her my parents were creeped out by her sending me shit (they kinda were) and hoped she'd understand. Well she didn't and this promped a meltdown on her end, sending me a tearful message and posting a journal about how she was depressed and hopeless. So that was awkward.
Dramatic reactions were pretty common for her. She modded a Kim Possible shipping forum that was kind of a trainwreck for many reasons. At some point a random low effort troll showed up and posted like, 2 snarky messages. This prompted a red alert shutdown mode for the forum where everything was made private and if you wanted to be a member you had to already be friends with a moderater. cause goddamn, we cannot have security breaches threatening this Kim Possible forum. My friend took immediate action in weeding out suspicious accounts, which ended up being anyone who hadn't logged in during the last month. As a result the forum was left with 12 actual humans and their 35 combined RP accounts. (and a lot of angry people who got booted from the forum) RPing is important to bring up, as that's what makes me look back at all this and wonder what was up. She shipped Kim Possible and Senor Senior Sr. (old guy voiced by Ricardo Montalban) and did some really sexual RPs between the accounts she made. This is also a very good time to mention that her boyfriend at the time was 62. Anyway! She and I used to RP Star Trek shit and she usually made it sexual. At the time I didn't even think about it or care but now that I look back- that was a little goddamn creepy. 34 year olds should probably not sexually RP with minors about Star Trek characters or anyting else for that matter. Honestly I didn't even think about this until just now but the sex RP's plus the fact that she was spending all this money on underage me was a whole combination of weird.
So fast forward a while and the Avengers movie comes out. She decides that she wants to fuck Loki instead of Khan and we kind of drift apart. By then she had already long since abandoned her original DeviantArt account after like, 2 mean comments. She left her second https://khanlovr75.deviantart.com/ several years back for what I assume is the same reason. She briefly settled on Tumblr where I guess she got nasty comments over her favorite Transformers pairing so she left that as well. She was on Facebook for a while but left there to due to drama and like I said above she's on Twitter full time. Last I heard from her was through an email, letting me know that the trolls on Facebook (who I had never before seen) had driven her onto Twitter and that she would be committing herself full-time to social justice and activism, claiming that she couldn't stand on the sidelines anymore.
Here's the thing about her trolls, I've only seen like, three ever. Based on some tweets she assumes that anyone who follows her that shows vaugly conservative views is doing so to troll her and will get instantly blocked. Based on the forum incident, it literally only takes one person making a mildly snarky comment for her to go into freakout delete everything mode.
My poor friend has also been featured on some bad tattoo websites due to a really bad and really visable Khan tattoo. Bless her heart, the tattoo is hardly her fault though I would have picked a better image as referance. The artist who did it should be taken out back and shot. Only the coverup is on her DA so I had to scour the internet to find the original.
That comic she's holding up is an unauthorized biography of Montalban which she sent me a copy of. I should really post the contents sometime, the art inside is so bad. Not THIS bad, but up there!
Anyway, that's my story! Not enough activity to be a cow but with cowish tendencies. I wish I had some more interesting screenshots and images for you but she's deleted so much and honestly I don't wanna see those RPs again anyway.
There’s a guy who I’ve known since preschool (I’m in my first year of college). There are quite a few interesting stories about this man, who we’ll call Squilliam
For starters, his favorite word was “nigga”. Now this wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t say it all the time, say it in public, and occasionally use it to describe black people. Other fun insults included jewbag, wop, and Mexican. Yes, the word Mexican was an insult to him.
The next thing of note was that he had little social or speaking skills to speak of. Picture a racist Chinese voice and take away the l/r confusion and you basically have his voice. Now, Squilliam could not tell a joke. When Undertale came out, you had him saying “Geddit, comic Sans,” a whole bunch. He asked “What would you rather do” a whole bunch when the choices had seemingly no relevance to the conversation at hand, or to each other for that matter. He would also swear like a sailor, out loud.
The next thing of note was that Squilliam is somewhat violent, and I’m not just saying that because he bit my finger once in preschool. One time, he was being “bullied” by a ghetto girl back when we were in middle school. So he resolved it in the most non-violent, upper-middle class manner possible. By bringing a knife to school and threatening to shank her. In full view of a teacher. He didn’t exactly get away with that one.
There are also other traits of his that I can’t write too much about. Of note was his compulsive lying (he claimed he was locked in room for an entire weekend and claimed that his sister was a bum), extreme stupidity (somehow, he missed the cutoff date for the rolling due date for signing up for the community college), his hair in freshman year (it’s like a shit version of Matt Engarde’s hair), implied poverty (we live in one of the highest income counties in the country, and in the one town with three malls to boot, so he clearly wasn’t poor), and his attempts to “troll” my friend’s SJW English teacher (he claimed that the ending for Of Mice and Men was happy, knowing that the scene hit close to home with her due to having a mentally disabled son herself).
Today I’ll be revisiting someone I haven’t talked about for a while on here. For those who don’t remember, I have this guy on my Facebook friends list named Daniel who was a massive loveshy attention whore. His past exploits have been documented on here before, and I’ve provided plenty of screencaps. (Past posts: Here, here, and briefly here)
He’s managed to find a girlfriend recently, and that’s somehow made him MORE pathetic than when he was single and always bitching and suicide baiting. I don’t really talk to this guy much (and haven’t done so at all since well before he got this girl), but it’s painfully obvious by their posts that their relationship is quite far from healthy. Generally, the cycle goes like this: she’ll post some meme or status or whatever that’s basically her saying that she’s worthless or whatever. Daniel will comment on it saying that she isn’t worthless, and then they tag each other in an endless stream of sappy couple bullshit until their next fight or whatever.
Looking back on things, my best friend in high school was something of a cow.
Basically, I introduced her to video games--mostly Final Fantasy, back before Squenix happened--and she introduced me to anime. Lots and lots of anime. We were utter weebs together, pretty much. The thing is, I could turn it off when we were at school.
She couldn't.
This led to things like her shouting the lyrics to 'Suteki da Ne' (the love theme from Final Fantasy X) in gym class, making her D&D character a sorceress named Lina Inverse during Games Club (a Slayers reference), discussing yaoi loudly during lunch, that kind of shit.
She also had several different personalities, most of whom weren't vanilla humans. Quite a few of them were goddesses. A lot of them weren't pronounced right. (Naoki the death goddess, for instance, wasn't 'now-key', but 'nay-oh-key'.) Even past all of that, she was bipolar--took meds for it, in fact--and said that she was the 'cute' one. Both of us were 5/10, at best.
I haven't seen or talked to her since 2005; I hear she's a lesbian now.
Joining the cast will be Laurelle's elder siblings: Linda (because she's of that vintage, and is one) and Wayne (which seems to be the most common middle name of criminal whitetrash here in the US). In a supporting role is Dave, Linda's husband/Laurelle's much-disliked BIL.
Linda is the ultra-responsible eldest child, and she and Dave have their life shit--home, job, marriage, kids and grandkids--together. They are some stripe of conservative Evangelical Protestant, which clashes with Laurelle's especially narcissistic New Age beliefs, and Laurelle has frequently sponged off them over the years while whining that they don't respect her because Jesus.
Wayne is the middle child, and fits the stereotypical rebel/fuckup role.
Laurelle is the baby of the family by several years, and at 45 years of age she has still not relinquished that role. This makes for some really interesting family dynamics.
-Laurelle got her application for SSDI (government disability tugboat) filled out and submitted. It is virtually guaranteed that it will be denied; people with far worse conditions get denied on the first try, and she's claiming ADHD, Fibromyalgia, anxiety, probably some autoimmune thing, and old neck and back injuries incurred in a car wreck almost a decade ago.
-She asked a former professor to write her a letter of recommendation for grad school, and got refused. The prof gave her some disappointingly tepid and nonsensical excuses for not doing it, and while even someone as dumb as Laurelle saw through the nonsense, she still failed to get the hint: her work is nowhere near good enough. I keep waiting for someone to finally tell Laurelle outright that she has absolutely no talent, no skill, and no business in a graduate Fine Arts program, but damn it, they never do.
-She tried applying for a job with the River City public schools (either a teachers' aide, or substitute teaching). The application is very detailed, and she had to provide previous addresses and a detailed work and educational history for the last decade--which, given the utter chaos of Laurelle's life, was quite an undertaking. But she did it--despite ADHD she believes is severe enough to warrant disability, she got all of the info she needed, and had just about finished filling it out online when--shit happened. I don't know what went down, but her entire app got sucked out the airlock and vanished into cyberspace.
Laurelle had a meltdown over that, and instead of accepting that shit does indeed happen, she contacted the school district and insisted they try retrieving her vanished app from their server. Yeah.
I don't believe Laurelle actually wants to work in any capacity, but since she has to she's latched on to the idea of teaching. And I can understand it; she wants to be the expert who is in control and everybody looks up to. It's an unrealistic and delusional view of teaching, but that's Laurelle for ya. But after this episode I think it's safe to say she's not going to be teaching in River City, even if, by some fluke, she stays there, so River City parents can breathe a sigh of relief.
So, on to the main course:
Laurelle either got kicked out of Linda and Dave's house just before Christmas, or else she overreacted and stormed out in a massive dramacloud, or maybe it was a combination of the two. Who fucking knows. The reason? Her older brother, Wayne, who she has an extremely antagonistic relationship with, was coming to River City for the holiday, and Linda and Dave invited him to stay at their house. And Laurelle flipped. her. fucking. shit.
Upon finding out, she posted frantic Craigslist pleas for housing in three different cities, looking for a place to flee to, claiming that she was in grave danger if she stayed, and that she must now change her name and cut all ties with family.
This one to River City:
This one to Skeevytown (where she erroneously believes the ex-prof of hers she's obsessed with and wants to marry now lives; there's a state college there, but it's kind of a shitty place that attracts a lot of lowlifes):
And this one to Shitsville, which is a large city in the same state as Skeevytown):
C'mon. You know you want to give her your couch for a few days. Amirite?
[crickets]
As of last night those posts had all been removed, so she's found a place to stay and is on her way somewhere, but other than removing the posts she hasn't checked in online since December 23rd as far as I can tell. Her Twitter is now locked down (kinda pointless, since only one spambot was following it), and she hasn't made any public posts to Facebook.
So I have a feeling Laurelle has managed to get a ride to Shitsville, where she's been trying to go for months now. It's just about the worst possible place for her to go, but she's impervious to facts or logic, so if she arrives safely I am sure 2018's Laurelle Drama will be epic.
As much of a fuckup as Laurelle is, her brother Wayne is no slouch himself. He's a longtime alcoholic and drug user, has been convicted of multiple felonies (including drug possession, and some sort of guns/weapons-related charges that Laurelle hasn't specified).
Laurelle has set herself up as Wayne's goody two-shoes polar opposite--she doesn't smoke or drink; has never even smoked weed (and rails against it); and constantly proclaims how law-abiding and innocent she is. So they loathe each other, especially ever since their parents allowed her brother to move in with them--but not Laurelle. And a few years back, after being told that no, she couldn't move back in with her parents, Laurelle retaliated by ratting Wayne out to his parole officer for smoking weed--just before flouncing out of town to return to River City. This left her sick and elderly parents to deal with bailing their son out after he got dragged in for a piss test and arrested for the parole violation, and he probably lost his job, too.
I'm sure her parents fucked up pretty badly to end up producing two utter wastrels out of three tries at making humans, but I still felt bad for them.
Now, despite his drug use and felony convictions, I have no idea whether Wayne is anywhere near as as rotten, evil, and potentially dangerous as Laurelle claims. I suspect not, because I doubt Linda would have let him come for Christmas to be around her family (including young grandkids) if he posed that much of a risk. And while I don't know what "lies" Wayne has allegedly told other family members about Laurelle, I'm willing to believe they are just truths about her motives and behavior that she cannot and will not confront--she is utterly impervious to any suggestion that she is deeply selfish, unloving, greedy, exploitative, vindictive, and full of rage. Just as she's blind to how bad her art is, she's blind to what a shitpile her personality is.
So as things stand, I'm just waiting for Laurelle to get wherever she's going, discover that it's not at all what she wanted or expected, and end up homeless again--only this time, without her sister or widowed, dying mother to fall back on. If she makes it all the way to Shitsville, she's in for the rudest of all possible awakenings, and if she were a less shitty specimen of humanity I'd try to warn her. But she's a walking pile of toxic waste, so fuck it. There's nothing like a hefty serving of Schadenfreude to accompany New Year's Champagne.
Mine is.. well, a huge piece of work to the point where they really deserve a thread. I'm currently collecting info for one, but it's difficult because the cow is pretty smart and is very good at covering their tracks or screaming about transmysogyny when someone calls them out on one of their scams. A bunch of people on the fringes of my social network have had encounters with them though, and a lot of them have gotten screenshots or archives of the cow's bullshit.
Highlights include:
Being a narcissist to the point where every social media post they make has more hashtags than actual content.
Repeatedly attempting to date several locals who weren't interested due to the cow's tendency to make everything about them, only to run crying to social media when the target of their affection let them down. (usually just a 'hey i don't like you in that way' would get a huge chimpout which they'd later delete)
Became trans as a direct result of one of the above attempts which ended in a situation where the crush had (and shared) watertight evidence that the cow was lying about basically everything in their crypost about them. The same situation has happened since then except all of the complaints are now transmysogyny related.
Faked an opiate addiction and then posted a fundraiser on a flexible-funding stretch goal crowdfund site for $20,000 so they could go to rehab. They got the money and proceeded to post 'from rehab' a few times on social media before deleting everything and disavowing knowledge of the whole incident.
Attempted to fake a pregnancy scam of some sort but went nuclear and deleted everything when the first couple comments on it were people calling them out about the rehab scam.
Cannibalism fetish!
Ran another scam recently which would be a dead giveaway about their identity if I mentioned what it is due to how oddly specific it is
Probably a billion other internet scams I'm unaware of due to the cow having a hair trigger for deleting fucking everything and changing their name/identity.
Thread will come eventually, but I need to make sure one of their other personae doesn't have a thread already and make sure there's enough actual verifiable content for the thread to actually be funny to outsiders.
One of the people who's a lot closer to this cow than I am decided that presenting all of their documentation to the cow's dad was a good idea.
It was a very, very good idea. The dad came down on them like a ten-ton hammer and completely cut them off. Unfortunately it was more of a whimper than a bang, but every single one of their social media accounts is now gone and they were spotted working holiday shifts at Target during the Christmas rush. Does this count as a lolcow success story?
Looking back on things, my best friend in high school was something of a cow.
Basically, I introduced her to video games--mostly Final Fantasy, back before Squenix happened--and she introduced me to anime. Lots and lots of anime. We were utter weebs together, pretty much. The thing is, I could turn it off when we were at school.
She couldn't.
This led to things like her shouting the lyrics to 'Suteki da Ne' (the love theme from Final Fantasy X) in gym class, making her D&D character a sorceress named Lina Inverse during Games Club (a Slayers reference), discussing yaoi loudly during lunch, that kind of shit.
She also had several different personalities, most of whom weren't vanilla humans. Quite a few of them were goddesses. A lot of them weren't pronounced right. (Naoki the death goddess, for instance, wasn't 'now-key', but 'nay-oh-key'.) Even past all of that, she was bipolar--took meds for it, in fact--and said that she was the 'cute' one. Both of us were 5/10, at best.
I haven't seen or talked to her since 2005; I hear she's a lesbian now.
This is jarringly close to someone I knew around the same time period. The only parts that make me think it's not the same person is that the one I knew never got into D&D (afaik) and had something akin to a god complex rather than multiple personalities. Did she ever smugly say 'I know' whenever you gave her some piece of information that she couldn't possibly know?
Semper fi, you fat weeaboo retard. 
