Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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This guy isn't autistic or retarded at least not diagnosed but he's definately a lolcow. He's obbsessed with being a "solo cub for a daddy bear" He wants a sugar daddy to fund his life so he can play pokemon all day long. However he does not understand that most guys or gals with sugar daddies have good psyiques. He also worships Kelly Clarkson and sings bad cover songs on youtube. He's good for a laugh sometimes but also intolerably arrogant on occasion.
 

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Ah, man, he looks like Jon, a guy I know who's married and has two kids. What's his YouTube channel?

Of course, this guy isn't half the man that Jon is.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Ah, man, he looks like Jon, a guy I know who's married and has two kids. What's his YouTube channel?

Of course, this guy isn't half the man that Jon is.

His screen name on there is Emewy76
 
He goes by Eric Hoffman now.

From the vidya thumbnails he doesn't look like Jon. Good.

I'm not going to watch any of his vidyas because I don't want YouTube to suggest I watch moar of them. But yeah, I can see why you consider him an lolcow (er, lolcub).
 
pickleniggo said:
Iamthatis said:
He wants a sugar daddy to fund his life so he can play pokemon all day long.

Wut.

Yep, I know him in RL, he was living with like a 78 year old man who had suffered a stroke. He had the whole left side of his face don't move no more thing going on. Then the guys children, (adults older than lolcub) had him declared incompetant put him in a home and put lolcub out on his rear.

*true story*
:hulkster:
 
Stephanie the Filth Queen
My sophomore year in college there was a girl in our hall named Stephanie. There was something off about her - she didn't seem legit retarded or anything, just kind of oblivious about things sometimes. She was kind of dumb, but wasn't aware of this, and had this constant air of superiority about her that grated on my nerves.

She also had really poor hygiene. She bathed like once a week and smelled terrible, all the time. I don't think she laundered her clothes very often either, and it showed. She was a pretty big girl, too, so especially in warmer months, her lack of personal care became really apparent. Nothing against my fellow fatties, I'm just speaking from experience here - when you sweat more, you need to shower more frequently to keep from offending the sensibilities of those around you. Common courtesy and all that.

Steph was one of those people who never washed their hands after using the bathroom, which is something that has always made my skin crawl - nobody needs your nasty piss and shit particles all over things, you fucking Typhoid Marys, wash your fucking hands - and frequently neglected to flush the toilet she'd just used, either. This became a subject of such concern for the other girls in the hall that it was brought up to the RA. Rather than embarrass Stephanie by addressing her directly, and assuming that Stephanie had a modicum of shame and self-awareness, the RA posted flyers all over the hall bathroom - in each of the stalls, on the doors, and on the mirrors over the sinks - reminding people to flush and wash after using the toilet. All of the girls kept an eye on Stephanie to see if she took this advice, and reported that the campaign wasn't working.

I vividly remember one early weekend morning when I'd just gotten up and gone to the bathroom. Someone else entered, and I could see, through the gap between the door and wall of the stall I was in, that it was Stephanie. She entered a stall and, as it was near-silent that early in the morning, with nobody else up and around, I listened to her take a leak, blow her nose, and change her maxi pad. When she was finished she exited the stall and the bathroom, without flushing the toilet or washing. Vile.

Somebody finally stuck one of the "wash your fucking hands" flyers on Stephanie's door in the night, which I think pissed her off. Eventually I believe the RA bit the bullet and told Steph that she needed to start washing and not spread germs and filth all over campus.

Her filthiness extended to her room, as well. I don't think it was more than a couple months into the school year that Stephanie's roommate, Katie, requested a room change because Steph refused to pick up after herself or make any effort to keep things clean. At my college when you filled out your dorm housing application they asked you to describe yourself as "neat", "casual" or "messy" and would then try to pair you up with a roommate who wouldn't clash with your housekeeping habits too badly; this wasn't a foolproof system, but it worked well enough. Just not for Stephanie, who was a godforsaken slob. I think Katie wound up keeping the room while Steph had to move out.

She ended up rooming with this other girl, Minta, who had been my roommate for the first month or so of the year before her freight train-like snoring drove me off. Minta was also kind of a slob - not to truly disgusting levels, at least not that I'd seen, but that would soon change.

Once Steph and Minta became roommates, that dorm room went to hell. Garbage accumulated but was never thrown out. They took dishes in from the cafeteria and would let them sit and moulder rather than wash them or take them back where they belonged. Papers, dirty clothes and other detritus piled up. I know all this because the dorm had periodic room inspections, and upon seeing the carnage of Stephanie and Minta's room they were ordered by the college housing director to clean it the fuck up. Thus the entire hall bore witness to the spectacle of the pair of them rolling up a trash bin from the bathroom, opening the door to their room and mucking it out.

I think Steph left our college after that year. Last I heard she was part of the area's SCA (medieval reenactment group) branch and had snagged herself a fiance.

Lycan: Toy Thief, Compulsive Liar and Animal-Killer
Lycan was a dipshit on a toy collecting forum of which I was a member. She started out as your average internet annoyance: terrible spelling and grammar skills, tried real hard to be ~dark and edgy~, unwarranted self importance, you know the type. She would try to backseat mod the forums, hilariously, by lecturing other people on their spelling and grammar. (This girl spelled "wrong" with an E, just to give you an idea of how much she couldn't English.)

People would post their latest toy acquisitions, as toy collectors are wont to do among others of their kind, and Lycan was no exception. She would claim to have obtained some really rare, expensive, highly sought after model in this toyline, but she couldn't provide pictures, because she didn't have a digital camera. (This was in the days before camera phones became ubiquitous.) She did this over and over, saying that she'd found one kit on eBay, another at a flea market, another at a foreign imports store in her hometown, etc. Some of the members began to suspect that just maybe she was lying to earn herself some geek cred and bask in the admiration and envy of others on the board: why couldn't she provide any proof? Why couldn't she take a photo and scan it to show everyone? Why couldn't she ever provide links to the eBay auctions she'd won? When confronted Lycan would get extremely huffy and defensive and start bitching about how we were just jealous and she didn't have to prove anything to us, bluhbluhbluh. She would get so nasty about this that the mods gave her a warning for her attitude, on top of suggesting that they didn't take kindly to liars.

I think at one point to throw off suspicion she said that her apartment had caught fire and all her models had been destroyed. "So no pictures of Super Rare Expensive Model, ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW? Also sell me moar models plz ;_;"

At one point one of the members made a thread about the cheapest price we'd ever paid for a model kit. There were a lot of accounts of people buying kits on clearance for 33 cents or getting job lots on eBay for five bucks or whatever, but Lycan prefaced her contribution with this: "Not counting the ones I got for free by slipping them into bags with my other purchases..."

Naturally, a lot of people came down on her. Some of the more prominent board members scolded her for not just stealing, but then bragging about it. Lycan was apparently dumbfounded that anyone would take offense to this casual admission of petty theft, and reacted with snotty condescension. "Not all of us can afford to buy the things we want in life. I'm not rich and spoiled like you guys, so I need to steal those toys. Anyway, I don't really care what you think. *dismissive wave*" (Because pretending to RP your actions shows just how much you don't care.) This only made people jump on her even more, because 1)if she was so broke she had to shoplift a $3.99 model kit, how was she affording to drop three hundred bucks on a much rarer kit on eBay; 2)if she couldn't afford luxuries, she needed to learn to do without them, like most people did; and 3)she needed to start caring about what people thought, because she was acting like an asshole. The mods gave her a suspension, which was much more leniency than she probably deserved.

Lycan's crowning moment of dickshittery came when she made a thread about the baby turtle she'd found. For starters, she couldn't afford a proper habitat for it, so she kept it in a shoebox, which she stepped on at one point because she forgot the turtle was in it. She was amazed the turtle had survived, but this didn't clue her in to take better care of it. After she'd crushed her impromptu turtle habitat, she'd had her boyfriend over to smoke some weed and had let the turtle out "for exercise" in the bathroom. While stoned out of her gourd, killing off some of her already scarce braincells, she noticed that the turtle was bleeding from its mouth. She deduced that the turtle had ingested some cleaning powder residue left on the bathroom floor, but since she was stoned and also an idiot, she thought this was hilarious rather than disturbing and just decided to keep an eye on the thing rather than seek veterinary attention. The turtle survived, albeit no doubt plotting Lycan's slow, agonizing demise.

People didn't quite know how to respond to this. There was some mild disapproval and suggestions that she should have taken the poor animal to a vet. Since I was tactless and thoroughly disgusted with Lycan's behavior, I told her she was a fucking choad that didn't know shit about caring for animals, and a hypocrite on top of everything, citing a thread where she'd told a distraught kid that he deserved for his cat to die because he'd let it out of the house. That kind of opened the floodgates and people started going to town on her. Lycan defended herself by saying that she just thought it was sort of neat how "resilient" the turtle was, and that she'd had lots of pets die because - and this quote has stuck with me for years, because it's just that galling - she "failed to care" about their welfare. That's right, she flat-out admitted that she'd caused the neglectful deaths of numerous pets. I'm pretty sure I told her to go to hell at that point, fully expecting a ban since that kind of vitriol was against board rules.

For this debacle Lycan got another suspension, rather than the bann she so richly deserved. I don't know why the mods didn't show her the door, other than we were a small, close-knit community and the mods didn't want to cause a lot of drama. I think she wound up setting the turtle free near a river. Last I heard she was getting married and had abducted a baby duckling she'd found by a roadside somewhere.
 
Shadow Fox said:
Stephanie the Filth Queen
My sophomore year in college there was a girl in our hall named Stephanie. There was something off about her - she didn't seem legit retarded or anything, just kind of oblivious about things sometimes. She was kind of dumb, but wasn't aware of this, and had this constant air of superiority about her that grated on my nerves.

She also had really poor hygiene. She bathed like once a week and smelled terrible, all the time. I don't think she laundered her clothes very often either, and it showed. She was a pretty big girl, too, so especially in warmer months, her lack of personal care became really apparent. Nothing against my fellow fatties, I'm just speaking from experience here - when you sweat more, you need to shower more frequently to keep from offending the sensibilities of those around you. Common courtesy and all that.

Steph was one of those people who never washed their MANOS after using the bathroom, which is something that has always made my skin crawl - nobody needs your nasty piss and shit particles all over things, you fucking Typhoid Marys, wash your fucking MANOS - and frequently neglected to flush the toilet she'd just used, either. This became a subject of such concern for the other girls in the hall that it was brought up to the RA. Rather than embarrass Stephanie by addressing her directly, and assuming that Stephanie had a modicum of shame and self-awareness, the RA posted flyers all over the hall bathroom - in each of the stalls, on the doors, and on the mirrors over the sinks - reminding people to flush and wash after using the toilet. All of the girls kept an eye on Stephanie to see if she took this advice, and reported that the campaign wasn't working.

I vividly remember one early weekend morning when I'd just gotten up and gone to the bathroom. Someone else entered, and I could see, through the gap between the door and wall of the stall I was in, that it was Stephanie. She entered a stall and, as it was near-silent that early in the morning, with nobody else up and around, I listened to her take a leak, blow her nose, and change her maxi pad. When she was finished she exited the stall and the bathroom, without flushing the toilet or washing. Vile.

Somebody finally stuck one of the "wash your fucking MANOS" flyers on Stephanie's door in the night, which I think pissed her off. Eventually I believe the RA bit the bullet and told Steph that she needed to start washing and not spread germs and filth all over campus.

Her filthiness extended to her room, as well. I don't think it was more than a couple months into the school year that Stephanie's roommate, Katie, requested a room change because Steph refused to pick up after herself or make any effort to keep things clean. At my college when you filled out your dorm housing application they asked you to describe yourself as "neat", "casual" or "messy" and would then try to pair you up with a roommate who wouldn't clash with your housekeeping habits too badly; this wasn't a foolproof system, but it worked well enough. Just not for Stephanie, who was a godforsaken slob. I think Katie wound up keeping the room while Steph had to move out.

She ended up rooming with this other girl, Minta, who had been my roommate for the first month or so of the year before her freight train-like snoring drove me off. Minta was also kind of a slob - not to truly disgusting levels, at least not that I'd seen, but that would soon change.

Once Steph and Minta became roommates, that dorm room went to hell. Garbage accumulated but was never thrown out. They took dishes in from the cafeteria and would let them sit and moulder rather than wash them or take them back where they belonged. Papers, dirty clothes and other detritus piled up. I know all this because the dorm had periodic room inspections, and upon seeing the carnage of Stephanie and Minta's room they were ordered by the college housing director to clean it the fuck up. Thus the entire hall bore witness to the spectacle of the pair of them rolling up a trash bin from the bathroom, opening the door to their room and mucking it out.

I think Steph left our college after that year. Last I heard she was part of the area's SCA (medieval reenactment group) branch and had snagged herself a fiance.

Lycan: Toy Thief, Compulsive Liar and Animal-Killer
Lycan was a dipshit on a toy collecting forum of which I was a member. She started out as your average internet annoyance: terrible spelling and grammar skills, tried real hard to be ~dark and edgy~, unwarranted self importance, you know the type. She would try to backseat mod the forums, hilariously, by lecturing other people on their spelling and grammar. (This girl spelled "wrong" with an E, just to give you an idea of how much she couldn't English.)

People would post their latest toy acquisitions, as toy collectors are wont to do among others of their kind, and Lycan was no exception. She would claim to have obtained some really rare, expensive, highly sought after model in this toyline, but she couldn't provide pictures, because she didn't have a digital camera. (This was in the days before camera phones became ubiquitous.) She did this over and over, saying that she'd found one kit on eBay, another at a flea market, another at a foreign imports store in her hometown, etc. Some of the members began to suspect that just maybe she was lying to earn herself some geek cred and bask in the admiration and envy of others on the board: why couldn't she provide any proof? Why couldn't she take a photo and scan it to show everyone? Why couldn't she ever provide links to the eBay auctions she'd won? When confronted Lycan would get extremely huffy and defensive and start bitching about how we were just jealous and she didn't have to prove anything to us, bluhbluhbluh. She would get so nasty about this that the mods gave her a warning for her attitude, on top of suggesting that they didn't take kindly to liars.

I think at one point to throw off suspicion she said that her apartment had caught fire and all her models had been destroyed. "So no pictures of Super Rare Expensive Model, ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW? Also sell me moar models plz ;_;"

At one point one of the members made a thread about the cheapest price we'd ever paid for a model kit. There were a lot of accounts of people buying kits on clearance for 33 cents or getting job lots on eBay for five bucks or whatever, but Lycan prefaced her contribution with this: "Not counting the ones I got for free by slipping them into bags with my other purchases..."

Naturally, a lot of people came down on her. Some of the more prominent board members scolded her for not just stealing, but then bragging about it. Lycan was apparently dumbfounded that anyone would take offense to this casual admission of petty theft, and reacted with snotty condescension. "Not all of us can afford to buy the things we want in life. I'm not rich and spoiled like you guys, so I need to steal those toys. Anyway, I don't really care what you think. *dismissive wave*" (Because pretending to RP your actions shows just how much you don't care.) This only made people jump on her even more, because 1)if she was so broke she had to shoplift a $3.99 model kit, how was she affording to drop three hundred bucks on a much rarer kit on eBay; 2)if she couldn't afford luxuries, she needed to learn to do without them, like most people did; and 3)she needed to start caring about what people thought, because she was acting like an asshole. The mods gave her a suspension, which was much more leniency than she probably deserved.

Lycan's crowning moment of dickshittery came when she made a thread about the baby turtle she'd found. For starters, she couldn't afford a proper habitat for it, so she kept it in a shoebox, which she stepped on at one point because she forgot the turtle was in it. She was amazed the turtle had survived, but this didn't clue her in to take better care of it. After she'd crushed her impromptu turtle habitat, she'd had her boyfriend over to smoke some weed and had let the turtle out "for exercise" in the bathroom. While stoned out of her gourd, killing off some of her already scarce braincells, she noticed that the turtle was bleeding from its mouth. She deduced that the turtle had ingested some cleaning powder residue left on the bathroom floor, but since she was stoned and also an idiot, she thought this was hilarious rather than disturbing and just decided to keep an eye on the thing rather than seek veterinary attention. The turtle survived, albeit no doubt plotting Lycan's slow, agonizing demise.

People didn't quite know how to respond to this. There was some mild disapproval and suggestions that she should have taken the poor animal to a vet. Since I was tactless and thoroughly disgusted with Lycan's behavior, I told her she was a fucking choad that didn't know shit about caring for animals, and a hypocrite on top of everything, citing a thread where she'd told a distraught kid that he deserved for his cat to die because he'd let it out of the house. That kind of opened the floodgates and people started going to town on her. Lycan defended herself by saying that she just thought it was sort of neat how "resilient" the turtle was, and that she'd had lots of pets die because - and this quote has stuck with me for years, because it's just that galling - she "failed to care" about their welfare. That's right, she flat-out admitted that she'd caused the neglectful deaths of numerous pets. I'm pretty sure I told her to go to hell at that point, fully expecting a ban since that kind of vitriol was against board rules.

For this debacle Lycan got another suspension, rather than the bann she so richly deserved. I don't know why the mods didn't show her the door, other than we were a small, close-knit community and the mods didn't want to cause a lot of drama. I think she wound up setting the turtle free near a river. Last I heard she was getting married and had abducted a baby duckling she'd found by a roadside somewhere.

So much hate...
 
Surtur said:
Shadow Fox said:
Stephanie the Filth Queen
My sophomore year in college there was a girl in our hall named Stephanie. There was something off about her - she didn't seem legit retarded or anything, just kind of oblivious about things sometimes. She was kind of dumb, but wasn't aware of this, and had this constant air of superiority about her that grated on my nerves.

She also had really poor hygiene. She bathed like once a week and smelled terrible, all the time. I don't think she laundered her clothes very often either, and it showed. She was a pretty big girl, too, so especially in warmer months, her lack of personal care became really apparent. Nothing against my fellow fatties, I'm just speaking from experience here - when you sweat more, you need to shower more frequently to keep from offending the sensibilities of those around you. Common courtesy and all that.

Steph was one of those people who never washed their MANOS after using the bathroom, which is something that has always made my skin crawl - nobody needs your nasty piss and shit particles all over things, you fucking Typhoid Marys, wash your fucking MANOS - and frequently neglected to flush the toilet she'd just used, either. This became a subject of such concern for the other girls in the hall that it was brought up to the RA. Rather than embarrass Stephanie by addressing her directly, and assuming that Stephanie had a modicum of shame and self-awareness, the RA posted flyers all over the hall bathroom - in each of the stalls, on the doors, and on the mirrors over the sinks - reminding people to flush and wash after using the toilet. All of the girls kept an eye on Stephanie to see if she took this advice, and reported that the campaign wasn't working.

I vividly remember one early weekend morning when I'd just gotten up and gone to the bathroom. Someone else entered, and I could see, through the gap between the door and wall of the stall I was in, that it was Stephanie. She entered a stall and, as it was near-silent that early in the morning, with nobody else up and around, I listened to her take a leak, blow her nose, and change her maxi pad. When she was finished she exited the stall and the bathroom, without flushing the toilet or washing. Vile.

Somebody finally stuck one of the "wash your fucking MANOS" flyers on Stephanie's door in the night, which I think pissed her off. Eventually I believe the RA bit the bullet and told Steph that she needed to start washing and not spread germs and filth all over campus.

Her filthiness extended to her room, as well. I don't think it was more than a couple months into the school year that Stephanie's roommate, Katie, requested a room change because Steph refused to pick up after herself or make any effort to keep things clean. At my college when you filled out your dorm housing application they asked you to describe yourself as "neat", "casual" or "messy" and would then try to pair you up with a roommate who wouldn't clash with your housekeeping habits too badly; this wasn't a foolproof system, but it worked well enough. Just not for Stephanie, who was a godforsaken slob. I think Katie wound up keeping the room while Steph had to move out.

She ended up rooming with this other girl, Minta, who had been my roommate for the first month or so of the year before her freight train-like snoring drove me off. Minta was also kind of a slob - not to truly disgusting levels, at least not that I'd seen, but that would soon change.

Once Steph and Minta became roommates, that dorm room went to hell. Garbage accumulated but was never thrown out. They took dishes in from the cafeteria and would let them sit and moulder rather than wash them or take them back where they belonged. Papers, dirty clothes and other detritus piled up. I know all this because the dorm had periodic room inspections, and upon seeing the carnage of Stephanie and Minta's room they were ordered by the college housing director to clean it the fuck up. Thus the entire hall bore witness to the spectacle of the pair of them rolling up a trash bin from the bathroom, opening the door to their room and mucking it out.

I think Steph left our college after that year. Last I heard she was part of the area's SCA (medieval reenactment group) branch and had snagged herself a fiance.

Lycan: Toy Thief, Compulsive Liar and Animal-Killer
Lycan was a dipshit on a toy collecting forum of which I was a member. She started out as your average internet annoyance: terrible spelling and grammar skills, tried real hard to be ~dark and edgy~, unwarranted self importance, you know the type. She would try to backseat mod the forums, hilariously, by lecturing other people on their spelling and grammar. (This girl spelled "wrong" with an E, just to give you an idea of how much she couldn't English.)

People would post their latest toy acquisitions, as toy collectors are wont to do among others of their kind, and Lycan was no exception. She would claim to have obtained some really rare, expensive, highly sought after model in this toyline, but she couldn't provide pictures, because she didn't have a digital camera. (This was in the days before camera phones became ubiquitous.) She did this over and over, saying that she'd found one kit on eBay, another at a flea market, another at a foreign imports store in her hometown, etc. Some of the members began to suspect that just maybe she was lying to earn herself some geek cred and bask in the admiration and envy of others on the board: why couldn't she provide any proof? Why couldn't she take a photo and scan it to show everyone? Why couldn't she ever provide links to the eBay auctions she'd won? When confronted Lycan would get extremely huffy and defensive and start bitching about how we were just jealous and she didn't have to prove anything to us, bluhbluhbluh. She would get so nasty about this that the mods gave her a warning for her attitude, on top of suggesting that they didn't take kindly to liars.

I think at one point to throw off suspicion she said that her apartment had caught fire and all her models had been destroyed. "So no pictures of Super Rare Expensive Model, ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW? Also sell me moar models plz ;_;"

At one point one of the members made a thread about the cheapest price we'd ever paid for a model kit. There were a lot of accounts of people buying kits on clearance for 33 cents or getting job lots on eBay for five bucks or whatever, but Lycan prefaced her contribution with this: "Not counting the ones I got for free by slipping them into bags with my other purchases..."

Naturally, a lot of people came down on her. Some of the more prominent board members scolded her for not just stealing, but then bragging about it. Lycan was apparently dumbfounded that anyone would take offense to this casual admission of petty theft, and reacted with snotty condescension. "Not all of us can afford to buy the things we want in life. I'm not rich and spoiled like you guys, so I need to steal those toys. Anyway, I don't really care what you think. *dismissive wave*" (Because pretending to RP your actions shows just how much you don't care.) This only made people jump on her even more, because 1)if she was so broke she had to shoplift a $3.99 model kit, how was she affording to drop three hundred bucks on a much rarer kit on eBay; 2)if she couldn't afford luxuries, she needed to learn to do without them, like most people did; and 3)she needed to start caring about what people thought, because she was acting like an asshole. The mods gave her a suspension, which was much more leniency than she probably deserved.

Lycan's crowning moment of dickshittery came when she made a thread about the baby turtle she'd found. For starters, she couldn't afford a proper habitat for it, so she kept it in a shoebox, which she stepped on at one point because she forgot the turtle was in it. She was amazed the turtle had survived, but this didn't clue her in to take better care of it. After she'd crushed her impromptu turtle habitat, she'd had her boyfriend over to smoke some weed and had let the turtle out "for exercise" in the bathroom. While stoned out of her gourd, killing off some of her already scarce braincells, she noticed that the turtle was bleeding from its mouth. She deduced that the turtle had ingested some cleaning powder residue left on the bathroom floor, but since she was stoned and also an idiot, she thought this was hilarious rather than disturbing and just decided to keep an eye on the thing rather than seek veterinary attention. The turtle survived, albeit no doubt plotting Lycan's slow, agonizing demise.

People didn't quite know how to respond to this. There was some mild disapproval and suggestions that she should have taken the poor animal to a vet. Since I was tactless and thoroughly disgusted with Lycan's behavior, I told her she was a fucking choad that didn't know shit about caring for animals, and a hypocrite on top of everything, citing a thread where she'd told a distraught kid that he deserved for his cat to die because he'd let it out of the house. That kind of opened the floodgates and people started going to town on her. Lycan defended herself by saying that she just thought it was sort of neat how "resilient" the turtle was, and that she'd had lots of pets die because - and this quote has stuck with me for years, because it's just that galling - she "failed to care" about their welfare. That's right, she flat-out admitted that she'd caused the neglectful deaths of numerous pets. I'm pretty sure I told her to go to hell at that point, fully expecting a ban since that kind of vitriol was against board rules.

For this debacle Lycan got another suspension, rather than the bann she so richly deserved. I don't know why the mods didn't show her the door, other than we were a small, close-knit community and the mods didn't want to cause a lot of drama. I think she wound up setting the turtle free near a river. Last I heard she was getting married and had abducted a baby duckling she'd found by a roadside somewhere.

So much hate...

Sorry for a-logginess, but some people might as well fuck off and die. Or be forced to learn a life lesson, because they are sure as hell ain't doing that on their own.
 
I don't get why people take in baby turtles and think oh yeah this'll be a great pet.
Unless you have a fucking pond or it's a tiny species of turtle like a musk turtle you're gonna have a bad time.
 
revengeofphil said:
I don't get why people take in baby turtles and think oh yeah this'll be a great pet.
Unless you have a fucking pond or it's a tiny species of turtle like a musk turtle you're gonna have a bad time.
I hate people that adopt exotic pets but don't know a thing about taking care of them, they just go "awwww cute AND edgy" but then they don't know even an ounce about its needs.
 
Shadow Fox said:
Lycan's crowning moment of dickshittery came when she made a thread about the baby turtle she'd found. For starters, she couldn't afford a proper habitat for it, so she kept it in a shoebox, which she stepped on at one point because she forgot the turtle was in it. She was amazed the turtle had survived, but this didn't clue her in to take better care of it. After she'd crushed her impromptu turtle habitat, she'd had her boyfriend over to smoke some weed and had let the turtle out "for exercise" in the bathroom. While stoned out of her gourd, killing off some of her already scarce braincells, she noticed that the turtle was bleeding from its mouth. She deduced that the turtle had ingested some cleaning powder residue left on the bathroom floor, but since she was stoned and also an idiot, she thought this was hilarious rather than disturbing and just decided to keep an eye on the thing rather than seek veterinary attention. The turtle survived, albeit no doubt plotting Lycan's slow, agonizing demise.

People didn't quite know how to respond to this. There was some mild disapproval and suggestions that she should have taken the poor animal to a vet. Since I was tactless and thoroughly disgusted with Lycan's behavior, I told her she was a fucking choad that didn't know shit about caring for animals, and a hypocrite on top of everything, citing a thread where she'd told a distraught kid that he deserved for his cat to die because he'd let it out of the house. That kind of opened the floodgates and people started going to town on her. Lycan defended herself by saying that she just thought it was sort of neat how "resilient" the turtle was, and that she'd had lots of pets die because - and this quote has stuck with me for years, because it's just that galling - she "failed to care" about their welfare. That's right, she flat-out admitted that she'd caused the neglectful deaths of numerous pets. I'm pretty sure I told her to go to hell at that point, fully expecting a ban since that kind of vitriol was against board rules.

For this debacle Lycan got another suspension, rather than the bann she so richly deserved. I don't know why the mods didn't show her the door, other than we were a small, close-knit community and the mods didn't want to cause a lot of drama. I think she wound up setting the turtle free near a river. Last I heard she was getting married and had abducted a baby duckling she'd found by a roadside somewhere.

I want to beat this woman. :alog:
 
Picklepower said:
LOL, Victoria "look at me, I swear I'm relevant" Jackson.

I didn't know that she began being a nut near the end of her time on snl. I thought that only happened recently with the Obama administration. It was reported that one year she discovered jesus again and became a born again Christian, which nothing wrong with that, but she constantly shoved it down her co workers throats. One time at Christmas, she put the bible on audiotape in all the snl cast members inboxes.


Dennis Miller claimed that 9/11 scared him into becoming Fox News-style right wing.
 
Dork Of Ages said:
revengeofphil said:
I don't get why people take in baby turtles and think oh yeah this'll be a great pet.
Unless you have a fucking pond or it's a tiny species of turtle like a musk turtle you're gonna have a bad time.
I hate people that adopt exotic pets but don't know a thing about taking care of them, they just go "awwww cute AND edgy" but then they don't know even an ounce about its needs.
I hate when stupid people buy animals in general without doing any sort of reasearch. There's a reason animal sterotypes are sterotypes because they're usally not entirely true.
Like rabbits don't eat nothing but carrots and prefer leafy greens and grass and a fish bowl is not a suitable home for a goldfish no matter what anybody says.
 
Lady Houligan said:
Okay. I've been sitting on a post about this woman for weeks now, and she's far too insane to discuss in spurts. So I give you (under the spoiler in the interest of not being a board-hogging fuckwit): Lady Houligan's Adventures in Training the Temp from Hell.
First things first, I'd like it noted that I spent a solid month before this woman arrived putting together a folder covering all the day-to-day operations that my position covers, such as the billing process, service requests, etc. That way I figured we could focus primarily on how to deal with the weirder bullshit that comes up, like what to do when the person calling in clearly doesn't know what they're on about and/or doesn't speak English. It's disgustingly thorough. However, as soon as this woman came in? She ignores it and writes down these terrible half-assed notes regarding EVERYTHING I do, so for the first two weeks all I keep hearing is "how do I get to this in this program" or a variant.

She also completely rearranged my desk before I've even left for maternity leave, so God help me if I need to find anything I had put away before she took it over.

The biggest thing that irritates/amuses me though is the sheer lack of thought she puts into anything she does in the office. At this point I'm writing it all off as job security for when I come back. In no particular order she:
-keeps asking the girl who only bills sprinklers and has at no point ever billed for my division about extinguisher and hood questions
-keeps trying to flirt with one of our estimators who is about ten years younger than her and is completely uninterested, up to and including awkwardly hovering at other people's desks when he's there so she can follow him back to his and talk to him
-keeps trying to ask my supervisor about customer accounts that he has no responsibility over and would know nothing about (protip: it's my job to figure that shit out before it goes to him because I'm the only one in the office with access to the damned software that records that info)
-ignores the fact that I'm still in the office (up until 1:30 tomorrow anyways) and just goes her own, completely incorrect, way of doing things, to the point where I've given up on trying to rescue her from her own stupidity
-can't prioritize for shit: I watched this woman answer a customer call on the landline, then put the customer on hold to answer the cell phone rather than silencing it so she could just listen to the voicemail in a few minutes time
-manages to ignore the blinking red "HEY THERE'S A VOICEMAIL" light on the landline to the point that I noticed it yesterday and found out there were four calls FROM LAST WEEK in there... there were some phone calls made immediately with lots of apologies to irate customers...
-ignores the cell phone that the techs use to get in direct contact with me/her more often than not (and as a side note, apparently I'm supposed to know how to make cell phone batteries not suck because she came to me two days ago bitching about how it wouldn't hold a charge and my solution was "then charge it?")
-texts her kids while they're at school
-gets really snippy with my coworkers when they try to offer help when she didn't ask for it
-continually goes into segues so awkward that if my job was a sitcom no laugh track could save her, with such great hits as: I had gestational diabetes so let me tell you all about how it was when I gave birth over a decade ago; my son has type 2 diabetes so obviously I know how you should be handling your gestational diabetes; you really want to hear my labor and delivery horror stories don't you I thought you did; I was out of work for 13 years being a stay at home mom but I'm totally a genius at Excel and will now fuck up the giant spreadsheet you wrote to track this entire department's earnings; my son was given a car solely because he plays football and wrestles and my husband and I pay for it all; my personal favorite, I resent my teenage daughter for playing field hockey and NOT volleyball because I played volleyball and got a scholarship to college and WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT TO BE JUST LIKE MOMMY; lolz I never have money in my wallet because my kids steal it from me all the time isn't that precious; and my idea of supervising what my children are watching/playing is to walk into the room and loudly proclaim my dislike for it but then immediately go do something else like bake cookies! And in case you haven't caught on yet: why yes, yes she is a helicopter parent. To the point where you can practically hear the rotors.

So that's the story, sad but true. In a small way she has some mannerisms that remind me of OPL. Not too many though, thank God. And I'm hoping that when my coworkers come to visit me in the hospital she doesn't invite herself along, because at this point it's going to take all I have to not walk into work tomorrow and blast "The Final Countdown" on repeat since otherwise I don't have to deal with this woman extensively until my return.


Her kids must be utter delights. I LOVE helicopter parent stories. They are beyond hilarious.

Also, congratulations on your impending baby! :D
 
revengeofphil said:
Dork Of Ages said:
revengeofphil said:
I don't get why people take in baby turtles and think oh yeah this'll be a great pet.
Unless you have a fucking pond or it's a tiny species of turtle like a musk turtle you're gonna have a bad time.
I hate people that adopt exotic pets but don't know a thing about taking care of them, they just go "awwww cute AND edgy" but then they don't know even an ounce about its needs.
I hate when stupid people buy animals in general without doing any sort of reasearch. There's a reason animal sterotypes are sterotypes because they're usally not entirely true.
Like rabbits don't eat nothing but carrots and prefer leafy greens and grass and a fish bowl is not a suitable home for a goldfish no matter what anybody says.
This short of thing bugs me particularly because rabbits are extremely hard to care for because they require a very specific diet. If that diet isn't followed, it dies.

The worst is when parents buy into fad pets (common or exotic), or even just a regular cat or dog because their kid begs. Then a few months later the kids get bored (or the trend dies) and suddenly they don't want the pet anymore. It's an animal, not a goddamn toy or fashion accessory.
 
Jamie Wilbanks. Sardis, Mississippi.

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I can't really say she's a 'personal lolcow' since I've never interacted with her and (thankfully) have never met her in person. Jamie's basically a white-trash juggalo loser from Mississippi that starts all kinds of shit on various social networking sites, gets herself banned, makes a sock puppet account to avoid said ban and starts the process all over again. This happens most often on facebook when she's single, since she'll spam friend requests to anything with a penis that she happens to have a "mutual" friend with which, if it isn't clear by now, is how I found out about her. I never bothered accepting the friend request; her facebook was public, so I could watch her classy niglet ignitions of drama without having to be associated with it. Jamie has a shitty attitude about most everything which, in the tradition of trashy loud-mouthed idiots, she takes pride in on the errant belief that she's just being "honest" or "in your face".

I got that friend request from her about six or seven months ago and followed her for the next three or four months before the account she was using got deleted. Most of the drama she got involved in was connected to guys that she sent random requests to in her area. She gladly posts pictures of herself in her underwear for everybody on facebook to see with captions like "big and beautiful" or some other cliche'd bullshit, then throws out hilariously hypocritical status updates about "sluts" and "hoes" showing off too much in pictures and no, I'm not exaggerating. Someone called her on this once, and she responded with something to the effect of "fuck off you imbred hick" misspells and all. That's probably the funniest, most entertaining lolcow quality she has; when someone criticizes her, she completely flips shit, insults them, argues with them and has no objections to keeping the whole thing public.

I wish I'd thought to screen-cap some of the drama from back then; her current (and third, mind you) facebook account has been a bit quiet here lately, she's either learned to run her yap a bit less (doubtful), or she's been in her current relationship with whatever unfortunate asshole she hooked up with long enough to be content and not put herself in anymore situations where an argument could easily start. I can only imagine the kind of bullshit that would be sparked if she were to find out she had an ED page or something.
 
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