- Joined
- Oct 8, 2013
No offense, but I don't need to be reminded of this pic, c-no. Put spoilers, pls?
Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.
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JustaCarrot
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2013
I had an interesting encounter with a girl long ago when I was in middle school. I didn't have any classes with her, thankfully, but she went to my school and was something of a friend of my friend's friend. She was chubby and annoying.
Anyway she heard that I enjoyed writing and wanted me to read something she'd written. It was a very long story about her meeting a band she was obsessed with. I'm pretty sure it was Good Charlotte because two of the guys were twins. This was back in 2000 when the internet was sort of still taking off, and I had no idea that I was reading the kind of garbage that would soon go global.
To her credit it was well written. The problem was the content. Basically the story is about her meeting the band at a restaurant where she worked, falling in love with the singer, becoming BFFs with every member of the band, then breaking up with the singer and then hooking up with his twin brother. I'd like to point again that this was a loooooooong story. Page after page of crap like her spending quality time with guys, the band members sitting around talking about how great she is, and you get the picture.
I told her I didn't like it.
She got really freaking pissed off.
Never saw her again, but that story gave me a scar.
Anyway she heard that I enjoyed writing and wanted me to read something she'd written. It was a very long story about her meeting a band she was obsessed with. I'm pretty sure it was Good Charlotte because two of the guys were twins. This was back in 2000 when the internet was sort of still taking off, and I had no idea that I was reading the kind of garbage that would soon go global.
To her credit it was well written. The problem was the content. Basically the story is about her meeting the band at a restaurant where she worked, falling in love with the singer, becoming BFFs with every member of the band, then breaking up with the singer and then hooking up with his twin brother. I'd like to point again that this was a loooooooong story. Page after page of crap like her spending quality time with guys, the band members sitting around talking about how great she is, and you get the picture.
I told her I didn't like it.
She got really freaking pissed off.
Never saw her again, but that story gave me a scar.
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
I don't know if he was already mentioned, but I am fascinated with a guy named Demonius X. He is made of blubber and anger. He is one of those guys who complains about women and work and does absolutely nothing but post his rants on YouTube. He has been around for a while, but keeps deleting his accounts and comes back after 6-8 months. He has gotten into online pissing matches with lead munching wrestling fans and posted all about his fiancee to show trolls he could get laid. And that is just some of the wonder that is Demonius X.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
I failed with a 19% in 8th grade because my teacher graded based on weather or not she liked you, but after that I did fine. Four times is just insane! I DID have a friend who despite all odds managed to get a 0.0 GPA.Surtur said:
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
Surtur said:
She was very overweight and hated to run. She did cut class a lot, but even when she did attend, she basically refused to move.
I was only in one gym class with her. We were doing yoga she just curled up on the mat and pretended to be asleep, complete with fake snoring and everything. I guess she thought she was being cute? The gym teachers didn't like her, but they also didn't want her to screw up her education just because of high school gym. They practically begged her to move. It didn't work.
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2013
littlebiscuits said:Surtur said:
She was very overweight and hated to run. She did cut class a lot, but even when she did attend, she basically refused to move.
The gym teachers didn't like her, but they also didn't want her to screw up her education just because of high school gym. They practically begged her to move. It didn't work.
I don't like gym classes all that much either. But still, acting like
is something that I really shudder to think of.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2013
My first lolcow was a guy who for the sake of this forum's collective sanity I am going to call Nickels because he's kind of like Beetlejuice in that if you say his name three times, he invariably shows up. I'm not exactly afraid he will, it's just that the forum mods are probably very busy people who don't have the time to mop up the kind of verbal diarrhea this guy can produce. He googles his own name constantly and is known to take up an old grudge years later and go after it again like it was yesterday. I'd be surprised if no one here's ever heard of him though.
Nickels, primarily, fancies himself the reincarnated lovechild of Stephen King, Edgar Alan Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft, except that would be gay and he is vehemently against homosexuals because they are against God and Nature and Jesus. He's so into living the Dark Gothic Hardcore Christian Death Metal lifestyle that he lives in a basement. His grandparents' basement, from whence he produces huge wall-o'-text horror anthologies and preys on the few fledgling writers who haven't already heard of him and didn't think to Google his name. Generally, he forgets to pay them.
He also regularly declares wars on established professional writers where he calls them queer and hopes some rapes their wives and murders their children. Since he never leaves his basement, they're in no danger, but this kind of crazy is not the sort of thing you want connected to your professional career, so he gets a lot of C&D letters.
Amongst his adventures are:
* Traveling 800 miles to Baltimore to sneak a copy of his autobiography into the Edgar Allen Poe museum so that he could tell the internet that it had been there.
* Hiring a model for a Dark Gothic Fetish photoshoot, only to have her turn out to be underage--then trying to encourage her to do the shoot anyway until some of his trolls tipped off the girl and her guardian.
* Tagging along like a puppy on the fringes of the metal scene in his town, then claiming online that he's a roadie or stage manager.
* Constantly taking bus trips to various places, then running out of money as soon as he gets there, leaving him stuck sleeping on the streets. Being temporarily homeless for Nickels is like being banned from public places for Chris.
Actually, in a lot of ways he's like Bizarro World Chris. Instead of a comic, he has horrible, unreadable stories. Instead of autism, he's bipolar, and he treats bipolar disorder like it's the source of his superpowers. Like Chris, he's engages in love quests while secretly revealing that what he's actually looking for is a mommy he can fuck. Like Chris, he's terrified of falling off the straight path, only he's more likely to threaten to jam his fist down someone's throat.
The best part of Nickels is definitely his writing. It reads like someone ran H.P. Lovecraft through an Eye of Argon filter, and, like Sonichu, most of it's about a maligned writer who takes supernatural revenge on someone who shits on his "art."
I've fallen out of the Nickels loop in the past few years, and gradually his keepers have figured out that it's best to restrict his internet access and keep him off the streets, so the lolcow teat may have dried up. From the network of trolls still keeping an eye on him, though, it seems that he's still in Grandma's basement, writing his awful stories and shaking his fat fist at the world on a smaller scale.
Nickels, primarily, fancies himself the reincarnated lovechild of Stephen King, Edgar Alan Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft, except that would be gay and he is vehemently against homosexuals because they are against God and Nature and Jesus. He's so into living the Dark Gothic Hardcore Christian Death Metal lifestyle that he lives in a basement. His grandparents' basement, from whence he produces huge wall-o'-text horror anthologies and preys on the few fledgling writers who haven't already heard of him and didn't think to Google his name. Generally, he forgets to pay them.
He also regularly declares wars on established professional writers where he calls them queer and hopes some rapes their wives and murders their children. Since he never leaves his basement, they're in no danger, but this kind of crazy is not the sort of thing you want connected to your professional career, so he gets a lot of C&D letters.
Amongst his adventures are:
* Traveling 800 miles to Baltimore to sneak a copy of his autobiography into the Edgar Allen Poe museum so that he could tell the internet that it had been there.
* Hiring a model for a Dark Gothic Fetish photoshoot, only to have her turn out to be underage--then trying to encourage her to do the shoot anyway until some of his trolls tipped off the girl and her guardian.
* Tagging along like a puppy on the fringes of the metal scene in his town, then claiming online that he's a roadie or stage manager.
* Constantly taking bus trips to various places, then running out of money as soon as he gets there, leaving him stuck sleeping on the streets. Being temporarily homeless for Nickels is like being banned from public places for Chris.
Actually, in a lot of ways he's like Bizarro World Chris. Instead of a comic, he has horrible, unreadable stories. Instead of autism, he's bipolar, and he treats bipolar disorder like it's the source of his superpowers. Like Chris, he's engages in love quests while secretly revealing that what he's actually looking for is a mommy he can fuck. Like Chris, he's terrified of falling off the straight path, only he's more likely to threaten to jam his fist down someone's throat.
The best part of Nickels is definitely his writing. It reads like someone ran H.P. Lovecraft through an Eye of Argon filter, and, like Sonichu, most of it's about a maligned writer who takes supernatural revenge on someone who shits on his "art."
I've fallen out of the Nickels loop in the past few years, and gradually his keepers have figured out that it's best to restrict his internet access and keep him off the streets, so the lolcow teat may have dried up. From the network of trolls still keeping an eye on him, though, it seems that he's still in Grandma's basement, writing his awful stories and shaking his fat fist at the world on a smaller scale.
Bridechu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
My friend got a job babysitting three autistic boys last summer through her medical school. All were comparatively high functioning, one was almost entirely "mainstreamed". The two less capable were, typically, in love with Sonic and there are some okay stories about that (including a totally original character called Ultimate the Hybrid Hedgehog). But the highest functioning one, who was eleven, is a more unusual case.
This kid, who I'll call Paul (short for RuPaul) was obsessed with makeup. Especially lipsticks but all makeup to some degree. He could spend hours reading about it online and looking up pictures or watching videos of makeup application. If allowed, he would probably spend all day in the makeup aisle of a drugstore just touching stuff. Otherwise he was a pretty normal little boy. He had great social interaction for an autistic kid and even showed a lot of interest in improving his social skills. He was a good athlete and honestly enjoyed sports. But if he was allowed, he would wear lipstick all the time.
His parents were pretty disturbed by his "hobby" and set out strict ground rules with his counselor. He was allowed to have two uncoloured lip glosses at school/day camp with him and was allowed to apply it only in the bathroom. He was allowed one slightly tinted lip gloss at a time at home and was only allowed to wear it if he had been good that day. He could buy other makeup with his own money (he did yardwork for the neighbours) but only one piece every three weeks and he wasn't allowed to wear it, just keep it in his room and test it on his arms. He had a collection of around forty lipsticks apart from his lip glosses. All of them either never used or barely used. He would just sit with it in his room, uncap them, screw them up, stare, then put them away. He'd group them in different boxes and loved re-organizing them. He also owned a lot of makeup brushes that he could pretend with.
He wouldn't talk about his collection with anyone unless they were a professional and specifically asked. But his "personal writing journal" thing was pretty much all about makeup. He did a science project on how lipstick is made and when another boy punched him on the playground for being gay, Paul fought back and kicked his ass.
Paul developed a little kid crush on a girl, also autistic, at his day camp. He confided in the counselor that he wished she'd wear lipstick, or at least gloss, even though the only thing she was interested in was ballet and books and movies about ballet. He saved up his money and bought her a fairly lip gloss called Ballet Pink or something as well as a ballet novel for her birthday. She loved the book but never wore the lip gloss and it really bummed him out.
This kid, who I'll call Paul (short for RuPaul) was obsessed with makeup. Especially lipsticks but all makeup to some degree. He could spend hours reading about it online and looking up pictures or watching videos of makeup application. If allowed, he would probably spend all day in the makeup aisle of a drugstore just touching stuff. Otherwise he was a pretty normal little boy. He had great social interaction for an autistic kid and even showed a lot of interest in improving his social skills. He was a good athlete and honestly enjoyed sports. But if he was allowed, he would wear lipstick all the time.
His parents were pretty disturbed by his "hobby" and set out strict ground rules with his counselor. He was allowed to have two uncoloured lip glosses at school/day camp with him and was allowed to apply it only in the bathroom. He was allowed one slightly tinted lip gloss at a time at home and was only allowed to wear it if he had been good that day. He could buy other makeup with his own money (he did yardwork for the neighbours) but only one piece every three weeks and he wasn't allowed to wear it, just keep it in his room and test it on his arms. He had a collection of around forty lipsticks apart from his lip glosses. All of them either never used or barely used. He would just sit with it in his room, uncap them, screw them up, stare, then put them away. He'd group them in different boxes and loved re-organizing them. He also owned a lot of makeup brushes that he could pretend with.
He wouldn't talk about his collection with anyone unless they were a professional and specifically asked. But his "personal writing journal" thing was pretty much all about makeup. He did a science project on how lipstick is made and when another boy punched him on the playground for being gay, Paul fought back and kicked his ass.
Paul developed a little kid crush on a girl, also autistic, at his day camp. He confided in the counselor that he wished she'd wear lipstick, or at least gloss, even though the only thing she was interested in was ballet and books and movies about ballet. He saved up his money and bought her a fairly lip gloss called Ballet Pink or something as well as a ballet novel for her birthday. She loved the book but never wore the lip gloss and it really bummed him out.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Wall of Originals said:
DemoniusX is not pleased with your post!
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2013
Tea Party-style patriots who don't know anything, so they accuse everybody of being against them, say the President is from Kenya and are just ignorant beyond belief.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2013
Haha "Nickels." I was wondering about him the other day. I think that one blog that tracked his activities got TOS'd and I can't remember if there were others. It's good for him that his handlers are trying to rein him in now, hilarious though his chimpouts were. I remember he used to explode with absolutely no provocation whatsoever. Dude was either comatose or foaming at the mouth in an insane rage, there was no in-between.
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2013
My wife and I ran into a crazy lady at the store a while back. She must be some sort of compulsive liar. During the cours of the conversation, she told us:
That her late husband was a retired Navy captain and was a fighter jet pilot. She then claimed that he started a second career as a passenger jet pilot for a major airline, and also retired from that job.
That she was a missionary to the Philippines, and owned three business there. Despite being a successful businesswoman, she elected to live in a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate.
That she is in an internet relationship with an Army officer. This officer also happens to be a four-star general.
That her internet general boyfriend has sent bodyguards to protect her, and that she has received self-defense training from both the CIA and the FBI.
That the Dole fruit company wants her dead.
That she is fluent in English, French, German, Tagalog and Arabic. Unfortunately, she was unable to demonstrate her linguistic dexterity because she's out of practice.
It was really something.
That her late husband was a retired Navy captain and was a fighter jet pilot. She then claimed that he started a second career as a passenger jet pilot for a major airline, and also retired from that job.
That she was a missionary to the Philippines, and owned three business there. Despite being a successful businesswoman, she elected to live in a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate.
That she is in an internet relationship with an Army officer. This officer also happens to be a four-star general.
That her internet general boyfriend has sent bodyguards to protect her, and that she has received self-defense training from both the CIA and the FBI.
That the Dole fruit company wants her dead.
That she is fluent in English, French, German, Tagalog and Arabic. Unfortunately, she was unable to demonstrate her linguistic dexterity because she's out of practice.
It was really something.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
lol why would the dole pineapples want her dead? hahahahahaha
---
I ran across this gem in my live journal, from the old customers_suck group on live journal, circa summer of '08:
Doesn't it sound like something pixyteri would write?
---
I ran across this gem in my live journal, from the old customers_suck group on live journal, circa summer of '08:
Doesn't it sound like something pixyteri would write?
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Patrice "Pato" Wilson. The guy who is the mastermind of ARC Music Factory, and now Pato Music.
Where do I begin?
He looks like a fat Usher.
He can't write.
He has a really creepy smile.
He's usually the only adult in the music videos.
He asks parents for a large amount of money so that their kid can sing one of the "amazing" songs he wrote, and will make a music video starring them and their friends, and profits off of royalties (I think).
He inserts himself into all of the kids' videos.
Also, he banned comments on his videos.
I had most of the dramatic writing department (I'm getting my masters in dramatic writing) over to my apartment last week for dinner, and we were discussing Patrice. And then I said, oh, he left the ARC music factory because someone got sick of him. He has a new youtube channel called Patomusic. And one of my friends said, "wait, Pato, as in an accented pedo?" "Yeah."
He is really creepy!
Where do I begin?
He looks like a fat Usher.
He can't write.
He has a really creepy smile.
He's usually the only adult in the music videos.
He asks parents for a large amount of money so that their kid can sing one of the "amazing" songs he wrote, and will make a music video starring them and their friends, and profits off of royalties (I think).
He inserts himself into all of the kids' videos.
Also, he banned comments on his videos.
I had most of the dramatic writing department (I'm getting my masters in dramatic writing) over to my apartment last week for dinner, and we were discussing Patrice. And then I said, oh, he left the ARC music factory because someone got sick of him. He has a new youtube channel called Patomusic. And one of my friends said, "wait, Pato, as in an accented pedo?" "Yeah."
He is really creepy!
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2013
darkhorse816 said:
This is the man responsible for "Friday," right?
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
Heck yes! I didn't know ARC Music Factory was mainly one person. The more you know.Da Pickle Monsta said:
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
ARC Music Factory specifically produces bad music videos for the sake of having them go viral and catching mad $$dosh$$.
"My Jeans" is another video produced by them and is much less known because the talent featured, in this case Jenna Rose, flipped shit after Rebecca Black got bullied out of life for her video. They took the video down upon request, but it's been mirrored a bunch.
[youtube]0XMy9WeI_fw[/youtube]
This song is actually something I personally like. It's not because of the video or lyrics, but I really like her voice. I think she could do much better.
(Also notice the very random black person that shows up in both My Jeans and Friday. It's a part of their formula.)
(P.P.S. The song is called My Jeans but she's not wearing jeans. Also a part of the joke and intentionally bad aspect.)
"My Jeans" is another video produced by them and is much less known because the talent featured, in this case Jenna Rose, flipped shit after Rebecca Black got bullied out of life for her video. They took the video down upon request, but it's been mirrored a bunch.
[youtube]0XMy9WeI_fw[/youtube]
This song is actually something I personally like. It's not because of the video or lyrics, but I really like her voice. I think she could do much better.
(Also notice the very random black person that shows up in both My Jeans and Friday. It's a part of their formula.)
(P.P.S. The song is called My Jeans but she's not wearing jeans. Also a part of the joke and intentionally bad aspect.)