💼 Careercow Phil Elmore - Self Defense Guru

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I_Am_Honor_Roll said:
whitebelt.jpg
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So what is he? A fat belt? :lol:

Good find, @Pepsi . This guy reminds me of a 50-year-old MovieBob trying to play vigilante.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Another lolcow named Phil.
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I was about to say. The greatest, most pompous douchebags that I've seen happen to share the same name. Phil Fish, Phil Burnell, Philip V. Haskins-Delici (ADF), and now this guy. They should all fight each other in real life.
 
Personally I base my choice in self defense weapons on whatever my Diablo 2 character is using. This katana shit is for the birds.
 
chimpburgers said:
I was about to say. The greatest, most pompous douchebags that I've seen happen to share the same name. Phil Fish, Phil Burnell, Philip V. Haskins-Delici (ADF), and now this guy. They should all fight each other in real life.
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We could film it and sell it on PPV/On Demand. We'll call it "The Blunder Dome". Four Phils enter, no Phils leave! Four Phils enter, no Phils leave!

Also, with these fucking nerds and katanas. It always makes me laugh that they think the katana is the be-all-end-all to swords. "Muh folded steelz, bruh!" Back then all steel was folded. It had to be because that's how you made steel out of iron. In fact katanas can be quite delicate. They take a massive amount of training to be able to wield properly without bending or breaking them. You don't swing/chop with a katana like you do with a European-style broadsword. You draw cut with them, which is more like a slicing motion. And if you get the angle of the blade wrong, or use more of a chopping motion, then you're going to fuck up your blade. Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful weapons, but popular culture has gone way overboard with the whole "Mysterious, Mythical East" angle and all these nerdy wannabe badasses have eaten it up.

All that being said, give me a good handgun like a SIG Sauer P226, quality 1911, or Smith and Wesson .357 Magnum and my concealed firearms license over a blade for day-to-day self defense use any day. I will say that the twenty-one feet rule does apply with blades vs. firearms. Just make sure the nut with the blade doesn't get that close to you if you can help it.
 
Threats that Street Sword can't deal with:
1.) Minorities in plate armor
2.) Homeless horse archers
3.) Cardio
4.) Reality
 
(catches up on thread)

Wow.

I've had more "practical" experience with melee weapons than a lot of folks. I used to to do heavy fighting in the SCA, I practiced kendo for years, I've got a handful of Olympic-style fencing matches under my belt, and back in my shop days I spent a goodly portion of my time repairing and sharpening knives & modern swords. And as anyone who's discussed the subject with me, I'm a chemistry & metallurgical nerd.

And not to put too fine a point on it, Shit's hard, yo. Running around in the July heat in sixty pounds of SCA armor with a plywood sheild & a 4' rattan sword whomping on people- and getting whomped on- or swinging a bokken about in a full suit of kendo pads first requires you to be fit- even for the noobs, and you really have to watch your mouth writing checks your ass can't cash. Or the instructors will hand it back to you. In pieces.

Personally, I'd love to see any of these fedora-wearing hippos in an actual match at a dojo or a SCA ring.

I'm by no means an expert in anything, but I know enough to tell you everything these spergs have said is either a vast overestimate of their abilities, romantic pseudoscience, or an astonishingly stupid tactical move that will get you killed.
 
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Billy_Sama said:
I am pretty sure you can have a community watch thread on these guys. I just wish I knew more of them.

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I'm glad I watched this, because now I know what to do if my house is getting borgled by a borgler.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Ok then, buy a pistol crossbow and let out your inner Napoleon Dynamite.
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Fuck that. I'll buy a shark-gun-crossbow.

It's a crossbow, but it shoots guns that shoot sharks.

The Knife's Husbando said:
I've had more "practical" experience with melee weapons than a lot of folks. I used to to do heavy fighting in the SCA, I practiced kendo for years, I've got a handful of Olympic-style fencing matches under my belt, and back in my shop days I spent a goodly portion of my time repairing and sharpening knives & modern swords. And as anyone who's discussed the subject with me, I'm a chemistry & metallurgical nerd.
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I love you man, but this is the SCA equivalent of the Navy SEALs copypasta. In fact, I hope someone turns it into a pasta, becasue it's awesome.
 
You can tell how these "self defence gurus" have absolutely no real training whatsoever because of how obviously out of shape they are. I mean seriously, take up boxing or something, it might burn that plentiful supply of fat.
 
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